Chris Matthews is such a patriot for making America laugh last night before the speech from Bobby Jindal, his Enemy. After ranting about how much he hates Jindal earlier in the night, he “whispered” a comically audible “oh god” as Jindal was walking towards his podium. Chris Matthews is famous for coming from working-class Pennsylvania, so the best rationale for his hatred is probably nativism, especially towards Indians, who sneak into the country to steal medical doctor jobs from the poorest Americans. Nevertheless, Matthews plans to address the “slip” on Hardball tonight (or is it already on? We don’t watch cable news), and an NBC spokesman has offered a quick preview. His explanation centers on some stupid, nonsensical slavery jokes we made last night while mindlessly liveblogging — but he is serious!

I was taken aback by that peculiar stagecraft, the walking from somewhere in the back of this narrow hall, this winding staircase looming there, the odd anti-bellum [sic] look of the scene. Was this some mimicking of a president walking along the state floor to the East Room?

“Anti-bellum” — he hates the Civil War!

But really, if we’re reading this correctly, he was offended by the casual imagery of a southern Plantation Manor and its would-be master mimicking a black president, which was apparently such a RACIST PLOY on Jindal’s behalf that Matthews had to blurt out his frustration.

Chris Matthews Explains “Oh, God!” Utterance [HuffPo]

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  1. I prefer the more obvious explanation, that Chris Matthews is a time traveler and was warning us all about the comic monstrosity we were about to observe.

  2. The “Oh God” was more of a gasp of anticipation.
    He and Keith were waiting fo Jindal to say “tax cuts” so they could drink.

  3. I love the “brown man’s burden” defense. I think he should go right to the “I was very emotional and taking medication” before he needs Bobby and the Sheriff to come rescue him from the shitstorm in an unregistered motorboat.

  4. you know, he didn’t say any bad, people are allowed to make sounds. it’s not like he said something racist, cruel, or hateful, he just muttered.

    i’m sorry he bothered to explain himself beyond, “i think it is fucking self explanatory.” and i fucking hate chris matthews. he needs a dental hygienist to stand next to him, at all times, with a dental vacuum, to suck the slobber or cum or whatever is constantly collecting in the valleys in his mouth and causing him to make those vile frothy sounds.

  5. I just figured he was horrified that the master of the plantation in such an antebellum setting wasn’t adorned in seersucker. Or maybe one of the econ babes he’s always hitting on sent him a filthy text message.

  6. His defense should be: “After all the things I said about Hillary, if you think I’m going down for this little slip, you’re crazier than I am.”

  7. I think it was just a flashback to the closing scene of one of the period piece p0rnos set in the Old South, of which Tweety is so fond. (This particular one, I think, was Blonde with the Wind). You know it really was quite shocking, when you see the house boy dressed in the master’s suit, and you know he has just had a threesome with Mizz Lucibelle and the fine Arabian stallion, and has probably also murdered the master. You know, that’s a completely natural response.

  8. Matthews should just say that he was beginning a prayer for his fellow brother in the one true faith for a good speech. And then he can say that the prayer was in fact answered.

  9. Anit-Bellum. I thought the starcase looked very Gone With The Windish. Was Piyush goin’ for the Rhett Butler response? “Frankly Hussein, I don’t give a damn” I thought maybe Rush might prance out from behind the staircase smokin’ a stogie. Oh, God!

  10. [re=252951]cranky[/re]:
    What is it about our fearless Nobel Prize Winner? Hmmm. He’s cuter than Joe Biden! (of course I AM Nerdalicious, what’s your excuse?)Haaaaaaaaaaaaa!

  11. [re=252964]Red Zeppelin[/re]:
    I’m in Amsterdam, I just walked off a really fucked up plane ride. (minus the ramp) Where the hell is Sully when you need him? I thought he was like Santa & he is flying all planes everywhere. Wasn’t he on Letterman & at the Congressional Speech last night all at the same time? I could have sworn.

  12. Chris, baby… you haven’t sent a tingle up my leg since you left the employ of Pres. Carter, whose peanut farm you reference in your “explanation.”

    I know it’s hard to hear, but it’s over. No, the “Oh God” thing was perfectly appropriate; feeling the need to excuse it makes you a hopeless douche.

    Grow a pair.

  13. Tweety bird is from PA!? How embarrassing. I hope he eat at Time* restaurant when he comes to Philly.

    *If you come to the Philadelphia area, Don’t eat at Time. My best friend used to worked there and they dicked her over on Unemployment. Plus, their entrees mainly consist of bags of herpetic dicks. Also.

  14. [re=252957]Nerdalicious[/re]: well, i’m a lesbian and a geek, so the vision of a man who is smart and whose ethics i admire, in the body of someone i could crush like an empty beer can, is just about as sexy as a man can get!

  15. [re=252974]Red Zeppelin[/re]:
    Yeah, I’m going to get some chocolate & go over to the Red Light District. Then it’s back home on the Continental Commuter plane. I’m not taking any chances this time! Sully are you there? I’d hope to have lived to have heard Sully say one day: “put your head between your legs & kiss your ass goodbye, those fuckin’ birds!” And then of course he saves everybody! Well, we haven’t had any noontime shootings here at noontime yet….today! The day is still young though (I hope against all hope!)

  16. “When Jindal shuffled out from behind the plantation columns looking like Forrest Gump about to break free from his leg braces, I exclaimed “Oh God!” because I was expecting local bullies to be chasing after him…”

    You’re welcome, Chris Matthews.

  17. [re=253006]Nerdalicious[/re]: Jonas Bros.? Aren’t they teenagers or something?… HEY! Are you calling me a Grand Old Pedophile ReThuglican???!!

  18. [re=253016]Bearbloke[/re]:
    No Way! Calm down Bearlicios! I wuz just sayin’, as in Jonas Bros watch out, like Krugman is the new sexy. But I do know you are a Rethuglican & you hang out in pubic bathrooms. I’m just sayin’.

  19. [re=253024]Nerdalicious[/re]: In your dreams, Senator Craig! My sexytime is Democratically enfranchised, Liberally applied, Progressively active and Socially responsible. Woof.

  20. [re=253039]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Hey! How on earth did you get the advance Galley Proofs of Governor Jindal’s autobiography? He’s saving that for the ’12 GOP primary!!!

  21. Jindal’s tone and demeanor when he did that whole kissing up to the black man in the White House while standing in front of a plantation mansion just really made me chuckle.

  22. [re=253043]Bearbloke[/re]:
    WTF? How did you know it was me, Larry? Geez, I thought the internets wuz covert. Just sittin’ here in the bathroom with my laptop, waiting for a friend. Even though, I have my own special friend. Foiled again!

  23. [re=253050]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Isn’t that the cult that spreads BLASPHEMOUS LIES about Santa?

    REPENT, INFIDEL!!11! Repent and return to the loving abundance of Santa’s sacred sack…

  24. [re=253039]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Just as Mola Jindal was being converted, the British cavalry shows up, and lays everything to waste with their trusty No. I Mk. I Lee Enfields (huzzah, volley fire)!

    He proceeds to get burned by heathen Shankara stones, falls into the crocodile-infested water…comedy gold ensues!

  25. [re=253070]schvitzatura[/re]: Oh the days of the empire on which the sun never set… yes, it reminds me of Zulu Dawn. What a great film, watching those tea-drinking toffs being slaughtered by assegais, sort of like today’s GOP.

    [re=253079]grevillea[/re]: Fuck that! Kali, the SIX-ARMED THREE-HEADED GOD THAT CHOPS OFF HEADS WITH HER MANY HANDS & STORES THEM ON HER BELT would completely pwn any god out there, Allah/Moon God or not. Grisly trucknutz!

    Sorry, I’m watching Hopey’s speech from last night again and I’m drunk with happiness that McCain is relegated to clapping politely for bits of the speech that he likes….

  26. It’s a good thing little Piyush picked the name Bobby from the Brady Bunch. Imagine if he was Pugsley Jindal (Addams Family), Herman Jindal (Munsters), Gillgan Jindal, or worst of all, Tootie Jindal (Car 54 Where Are You).

    America would never vote for Tootie Jindal.

  27. I think Tweetie was just tired of the whole thing and wondered why MSNBC had to even air the GOP “response”. When he saw the set up, he just let out a groan with words attached. If I were him, I’d just say: “I said what I said. If I offended your Deity, ‘scuse me. Now, on with tonight’s shoutfest!” Fox won’t let him live it down, but Olberman and Maddow will just keep showing Jindal’s speech over and over and over again. Nuff said.

  28. Tweetie’s audible foul wasn’t anti-bellum, it was anti-Bedlam.

    If you have listened to Jindal’s speech, you’ll know what I mean.

    We can’t punish Tweetie for prescience, now can we?

  29. I don’t care… I just want to know who was in the Republican cabal that engineered throwing Bobby Jingle over the porch rail….was it everybody….?…”smart-ass little Hindu, let’s see what his chances in 2012 are after this”…

  30. Let’s be accurate. Matthews did not whisper, “Oh, God” as Piyush reached the stage.
    Rather, he snapped to his producer, “Get me fucking Father Damian on the phone. Now.” Either that or, “KALI!”
    But that’s the entertainment biz for ya.

  31. Jesus God, man, has anyone investigated whether the new GOP stars are in bed with the NBC execs? Cause “30 Rock” could not have PRAYED for better ratings fodder than Palin/Jindal.

  32. [re=253110]CaliforniaMike[/re]: Tootie Jindal is good. It makes no fucking sense whatsoever, but it just sounds right.

    However, I’m going to disagree with most of you here. Matthews’ comment was premature, and the explanation reminded me of how the republitards were going on and on about the Greek columns in Denver. We should be beyond that kind of pettiness (by “we” I don’t mean we here at Wonkette, which lives and breathes for pettiness, but everybody else) So, he should apologize to Bobby (the browner Brady)for saying “Oh, God” before he’d even given the speech.
    Now that he’s given the speech, of course, the little exorcist is fair game.

  33. What are the chances that horse laugh was just playing 70’s movie trivia under the table with that guy who used to yell at Bush all the time and George Burns’ name came up?

  34. Tweety, looking like Karl Rove in a moth-eaten wig, is blurting “Oh God!” over Jindal’s “peculiar stagecraft”? Riiiight. Talk about the louse calling the leech unlovely. Next thing you know he’ll be criticizing Joe Biden for being “gaffe-prone”. Oh…wait. Nevermind.

  35. Tweety, looking like Karl Rove in a moth-eaten wig, blurted “Oh God!” because of Jindal’s “peculiar stagecraft”? Riiight. Talk about the leech calling the louse unlovely. Next thing you know he’ll be criticizing Joe Biden for being “gaffe-prone”. Oh…wait. Nevermind.

  36. [re=253133]Godot[/re]:

    I prefer Tonto Jindal myself.

    And there’s a hidden joke in the name that we couldshare with the Hispanics. Also.

    Or perhaps Rin Tin Tin Jindal, since Hopey made him his bitch anyway.

  37. [re=253039]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Best. Chick Track. Ever. I ordered 10,000 copies, because that’s the minimum. Which is insane, of course, because chick tracks are insane. And awesome.

  38. [re=253039]President Beeblebrox[/re]: 10 panels down, the villagers are offering Kali’s High Priest some watermelon. Somehow this ties into Mayor Dean Grose being Bobby Jindal’s secret lover, but I’m just formulating my conspiracy theory so it’s still a little rough around the edges…

  39. [re=253175]DanJoaquinOz[/re]: Have you noticed that Matthews never say the word Obama? He says President Barack, or Barack Obama, but never Obama alone. He’s afraid to call him Osama, since he’s called him a terrorist like 2,000 times. That’s what happens when you just mouth off.

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