Wonkette
We have an important and URGENT message for our many conservative readers who must not say *anything to anyone* until they’ve read this: your leader, Rush Limbaugh, has decreed that you are not allowed to criticize Bobby Jindal’s speech last night, got it? You do not want to be the next David Brooks or Amanda Carpenter or Fox News panel member, each of whom have already been EATED by Limbaugh for saying that Jindal sucked last night.
You have been warned, and the next person to criticize Jindal’s performance will be publicly sexed by a billy goat, on the radio:
LIMBAUGH: [T]he people on our side are really making a mistake if they go after Bobby Jindal on the basis of style. Because if you think — people on our side I’m talking to you — those of you who think Jindal was horrible, you think — in fact, I don’t ever want to hear from you ever again. … I’ve spoken to him numerous times, he’s brilliant. He’s the real deal.
Here is the terrifying video of Limbaugh’s remarks:
Limbaugh Defends Jindal, Warns Conservatives They Are ‘Making A Real Mistake If They Go After’ Him [Think Progress]
He’s back on the oxycontin again.
Yeah, leave Bobby Jindal alone. Rush wants to put Bobby in his mouth.
Limbaugh just wants a house boy.
Rush loves him some boy cub…
Screw Rush. Go ahead and make fun of anyone named “Bobby” who’s more than 11 years old.
Christ, Rush Limbaugh is such a disgusting slob. I hope he gets ass cancer.
Can I say that Bobby Jindal looks like a turtle?
OK, I promise not to go after Jindal on the basis of style. He’ll go after himself on that basis. I’ll stick to the substance of the crazy that is coming out of his mouth, which would sound batshit insane even if read by Steven Hawking.
Rush will defend to the death any conservative who has a smaller penis than he does.
We don’t ever want to hear from you again either, you fat fucking traitor
Rush: “Baaaa baaa”
Now let’s watch the backtracking and asslicking because we all know Rush leads the party of ignorance.
Limbaugh should have done the always IMPORTANT “Reactionary Comments of the Pathetic Party” that Democrats have been doing since 1589, because it is very difficult to leave Jindal alone right now. “TAXES.”
“TAXES.”
“TAXES.”
“TAXES.”
“TAXES.”
“TAXES.”
It was almost as good as the primary debate at the Reagan Library of a Bob. “TAXES.”
“TAXES.”
“I don’t want to hear from you ever again.”
Touche, Rush.
“[T]he people on our side are really making a mistake if they go after Bobby Jindal on the basis of style.”
Ok, Rush, so it was fine to comment on right winger style only when they “have” it? Sarah Palin had nothing going for her BUT style, and yet just a couple of weeks ago you anointed her the head of the party! Now that Jindal has proven himself to be as charismatic as a rock, the subject is off the table?
Just another breakneck turn on the Limbaugh road of hypocrisy.
Mitchbailey: Limbaugh wants a rent boy, is more like it
Does using Oxycontin turn someone into an oxymoron?
“He’s brilliant.”
Is he trying to be like the hypnotist from Little Britain? “Look into my eyes!”
Continuing my homage to Rudyard Kipling:
GUNGA JINDAL
“The whole thing was a bluff, said Jindal’s buddy Rush,
“To smoke out all the traitors from the Party.”
The plan, you see, is clear: It’s Palin who’ll appear
In 2012 to unify our heart-ies.
Until that coming time, let Bobby J. define
Just what it means to be Republi-canny.
No bailout bucks for you, even though your state is screwed
By volcanos on the spew and sins a-plenty!
Jindal! Jindal! Jindal! WHAT the HELL you doing now?
Did you bend your Hindu ass before Great Limbaugh?
You can bow and scrape and cringe, but before you know it’s in:
His cigar will burn your bum far worse that lava!
[Okay, the "heart-ies" was a stretch. But I kinda liked the "Republi-canny."]
It’s nice to see Rush throwing his substantial weight around to defend BoJi. I wonder how he’ll react when Randi Rhoads releases “Piyush The Magic Poppadom”?
Hmmm, I didn’t realize that Bobby Jindal was the new Darian Kagan in Rush’s life.
Maybe next time they should let Rush do it. I bet he’d love to rebutt Obama.
You see how I did that? Hehehe
Rush, you’re such a talented leader. Please run for office. Anywhere. Come on, even Jerry Springer pulled it off
Wow, I couldn’t stop laughing. Until I clicked play on that video. Major buzzkill.
People who consider Rush Limbaugh to be their “leader,” also seem to get very upset if you don’t let them watch ‘Wapner’ at 3PM.
hillary1: oxycontin is one helluva drug
Dear Rush: U R Gay. I win. The End.
Giant Robot: Bobby Knight?
Looks like the mayor of Los Alamitos listens to Rush.
Sometimes a cigar is just a — wait, this is Rush we’re talking about? Oh. Then it’s a penis, definitely. A Cuban penis to be precise.
Rush always knows which side his ass is buttered on.
Watched Gov Bobby last night.
ALL HAIL THE HYPNO-TOAD!
Marsha, Jan, leave your brother alone!
“in fact, I don’t ever want to hear from you ever again”
Haven’t we been saying this to Rush for the past decade and a half? If the King Idiot doesn’t listen, why does he think his idiot peasants(idiotesants?) will?
Neilist: Hindoo! Get it right, yo.
It’s hilarious to see the GOP turn into one huge cigar-sucking clusterfrack. They haz a sad today.
Yes, bobby jindal is “realer than real deal holyfield.” Or, at least that’s what Michael Steele told me.
Neilist: A woman is only a woman, but a good Cigar is a Smoke.
There can never be too much Kipling.
Down to Gehenna, or up to the throne
He travels fastest, who travels alone.
Ok. The order has gone out from the fat man hisself, so the lemmings will all get back in line. Bobby Jindal is the greatest elected official alive today, except for Sarah Palin. Even though they both took away jobs that should be held by good, honest, hardworking white men.
HopeyDope: He’s butted him before?
All cigar, but no lighter.
I had a weird image of K-Lo going cow-girl on Bobby Jindal, with Rush as cameraman
I didn’t know that Rush and Piyush “Hussein” Jindal were lovers.
I hope Rush lashes himself tightly to Jindal, so that when Bobby J sinks, Rush goes down with him.
And he will sink if Rush is tied to him because Rush is monstrous huge.
President Beeblebrox: Hindu. Hindoo. Hindee.
“You stay tomato, I say ‘Go fuck you!’
Let’s call the whole thing off . . . .”
V572625694: Great poem. Drives the “Weaker Sex” completely nuts . . . or more appropriately, completely TRUCKNUTZ!
I’m just curious: if the Republicans are disoriented and confused now, what will happen to them once Rush finally bites it?
Trace: Well, Rush is enormously fat. And fat floats, so really he is like a life prserver for little Bobby Jindal. What’s going to sink them both are the soon to be released pictures of Rush sucking on Bobby’s cigar, if you know what I mean.
I’d say I’ve mixed enough metaphors for today.
Who is this Bobby to whom he refers? I thought we were talking about Piyush?
My Goodness-Gosh! Limbaugh Sahib is certainly right! For those Republicans who do not heed his fatwa to respect Piyush dandi, floggings will do the needful!
Rush has finally gone completely batshit. He thinks Piyush is little Jose, his favorite rent-a-boy on his visits to the Dominican. He wants to hold his froggy little body next to his own quivering loins. “Watch it, Piyush, your shenanigans could cost me this election.” “Aw, Rush, no Irishman can keep you from getting to be dog-killer this time around.”
How did the guy from “Short Circuit” get to be governor of Louisiana anyway?
You mean just like the mainstream media has been saying you cannot criticise Obama or you are a racist?
You mean like the mainstream liberal media saying that you are basically racist if you criticise Obama?
Neilist: Piyush may be a Hindu/oo, but our Preznit is still a dirty Musulman/Muselmann/Mohammedan/Muhammadan/Mahommedan/Mahomedan/Mahometan who worships a MOON GOD, after all.
And they’re trying to recruit our children!!1
droopydog: Piyush, is that you?
We liked you so much we decided to let you post the same comment twice.
droopydog: no droopydog, the key word here is ’style’. That is Limpballs code for ‘no colored jokes’, we know he is brown, but he is ‘on our side’. And they have seen the demographic shift in population that dooms a party of old white guys to a permanent minority status.
The liberal media has the same policy. You can criticise Obama, but lay off teh racist references, ie, monkeys shot by policemen, watermelon fields at the WH, et &c.
None of these codes or policies are followed, of course. We are a nation of rude ignorance.
ohmigod ! the GOPers are now supposed
to be like those damn american commies
of the 1930s, who had to get their orders
from the Kremlin, before they could tie
their shoes in the morning.
to think that the right actually used to
have INDEPENDENT THINKERS in their midst,
and now the damn clowns have to get their
orders from a fat, closeted junkie.
Rush has the back of Piyush Jindal because he is thinking that Jindal’s Indian homies in the medical field will prescribe him some oxy!
Dope fiends all know the rule: you protect your dealer and his/her home-boys else you find yourself desperate for a fix and no one willing to sell to you…
droopydog: uh, no, not like your imagined liberal media conspiracy in the slightest; Rush was addressing his supporters, all of whom presumably share his long-term goals, and arguing for not tactically abandoning someone who screwed the pooch, in the eyes (again) of many of Rush’s fellow travelers. Even if your premise were remotely true, the supposed parallel in fact crosses its putative co-parallel about five hundred thousand times.
to think that the right actually used to
have INDEPENDENT THINKERS in their midst
I’m racking my brains and I’m not thinking of any after, say, Alexander Hamilton. (Note: “Republican Party” and “the right” are not synonymous, therefore Theodore Roosevelt doesn’t count.)
Just what I’ve been waiting for! Rush Limbaugh has become the wingnut version of Chris Crocker!
I often fantasize of a 20mm round piercing Lush Rimjob’s ass-shaped head, taking the entire back half as it exits, and leaving his fat, drugged body flopping around on the putting green.
Servo: A 20 mm HE round would do a bit more than take off the back of El Fatso’s head, trust me.
Even as fat as The Larded One’s head is.
(Assuming, of course, that his skull was sufficiently hard to trigger the fuse.)
CaliforniaMike: Everything You Know Is WRONG!
smashtheduck: That’s an OK name for a stripper, but I never heard of her. What club is she with?
Neilist:
Shit, go for broke with a Mk19.
Neilist: Servo:
As evidenced by:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xc_Gc-7lkKk&feature=related
cue to ~0:15
IceCreamEmpress: Have you ever read the “paleocons” at
The American Conservative or on AntiWar.com ? These are for the
most part “righties” who broke with the neocons on the 2nd Iraq war.
There was a STRONG libertarian strain to Goldwater (allow gays into
the military). Bill Buckley himself, at least the younger BB, seldom
marched lock step with the GOP, certainly not like the clowns at
the CURRENT National Review do. That pea brain “K-LO” wouldn’t
have been allowed to edit the lunch order at NR in the 1950s.
I don’t know how you could consider Russell Kirk to be of a mind
with the Limbaughs and Hannities of this world (even though I
don’t share his philosophy).
Leave Britney alone!
CaliforniaMike: AHHHHHHH now that’s funny!
IceCreamEmpress: “Republican Party” and “the right” are not the same? Yes. They are.
Rush is a douchebag king-making wannabe
I don’t know why Rush has such a hard-on for this dude. I mean, Piyush is so effete he’d make a gay Frenchman look like Jim Webb in comparison.
randomsausage: That is not weird. That is my personal Hell.
Get. Inta. Ma. Bellai!
If Piyush can get it together, he could be our first tranny president.
He can’t be the first one with teh gay. Ask Victor Ashe about that. He’d tell you Dubya’s got the softest lips and the sweetest tongue in the village.
schvitzatura: Precisely my point: A 20mm takes off the ENTIRE head, not just blowing out the back.
Gesh. You people HAVE to pay attention to the DETAILS.
Servo: A 40mm grenade likely would not penetrate all the way through El Lardbutt’s head, depending on the range.
But there would be less of a fusing problem, and it would remove large parts of the Fat One’s upper torso.
So it would be “Hamburger All Over The Highway In Mystic Connecticut!”
Neilist: I personally like the hands on approach, Louisville Slugger style:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pel3GE97evA
cue 1:19 - 1:21
…anyone around that mayhem would be rained on by liquid lard jetspraying out his neck like a geyser.
Scientists would then have a chance to analyze the brain of the GOP. To their dismay but to no surprise they would discover that his head was filled with his own defecation and lard.
And while you’re at it, leave Dominican trannie hookers out of it, too! They’re the real deal!
droopydog: Criticizing Obama does not make one racist. Couching the criticism in heavily parsed language because you long to drop the “N” word but feel you don’t have permission, that’s the racist part. Glad to help you out on that point.
El Pinche: Good lord, that looks like PURE ENTERTAINMENT.
Although, I doubt seriously that any fan of Quentin Tarrantio can spell “Ingoriu” . . . “Ingloiu” . . . “Inglorik” . . .
Oh, fuqe it.
(BTW: What that Robert Downey, Jr. reprising his role from “Tropic Thunder”?)
Limbaugh supporting Jindal, NOW?
Another stroke of tactical genius from the diabolically cunning mastermind who brought us “Operation Chaos” - the move to support Clinton against Obama that fatally weakened the Democrats, without which President John Sidney McCain III could never have won the fight of his political life.
CaliforniaMike: Well, if Omar Epps can win the Super Bowl then I suppose anything is possible.
I don’t totally hate Bobby Jindal. Unlike most people I liked pretty much everything he did up to and including Lady in the Water. I will admit that The Happening was lame, though.
I can’t wait for Limbaugh to just die already. Fucker.
Just like the liberal Democrats to rob the dreams of small mom-and-pop Volcanologist startups. The free hand of the market will decide what level of tectonic monitoring is needed, thank you.
Take a couple of pills Rush….you acted more like a human being when you were high….now you are just plain sickening!!!
Chris Crocker parodies are so … two years ago. Seriously, its not funny anymore.