FAMOUS DECLARATIONS  3:45 pm February 25, 2009

Jindal ‘Not Easily Caricatured’

by Sara K. Smith

Tina Fey ruined Sarah Palin. She will now ruin Bobby Jindal.Michael Gerson very clearly sat down to write his column about the fantastic splendor of Bobby Jindal some time ago, before the hapless nerdsome twit was disowned by David Brooks and even some people on Fox. The word “Jindal” shall never again pass the lips of any conservative — not even the man himself, who will change his name to Theodore Ogelvie and leave Louisiana under cover of darkness.

Anyway, Gerson digs (dug) Bobby Jindal because he is exactly like Bill Clinton, in that he is a charismatic womanizing Rhodes Scholar from the South, minus the charisma and the womanizing and anything else remotely interesting.

Jindal also resembles Sarah Palin, except less pretty, and with no ovaries or sass, but with credentials that “elites” favor, such as a willingness to read books.

And Jindal’s résumé, intellectual confidence and command of policy make him the anti-Palin. Fairly or unfairly, media and intellectual elites (including some conservative elites) regard Gov. Sarah Palin as an inhabitant of another cultural planet. Jindal, while also religious and conservative, speaks the language of the knowledge class and will not be easily caricatured or dismissed.

They need to make a time machine for newspaper columnists so that they can avoid this problem of being completely wrong about everything.

The Jindal Phenomenon [Washington Post]

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ManchuCandidate February 25, 2009 at 3:51 pm
shortsshortsshorts February 25, 2009 at 3:51 pm

The verdict is still out on “womanizing.” It could be easy to say that when he performed the exorcism on “Sally” it was actually a terrible sex-groping. He said himself that he held her down. Also. and Also.

Cape Clod February 25, 2009 at 3:52 pm

Christ, even K-Lo was lamenting how lame Jindal was last night.

paparapapa February 25, 2009 at 3:53 pm

Bobby Jindal was terrific. His response is the most effective I can remember since Ed Muskie’s fireside chat following Nixon’s State of the Union in 1970. The staging was beautiful — the old South governor’s mansion with the big magnolia tree in front leading in to his slender young son of immigrants serving as Governor. He presented an alternative vision that was not mean sprited, but optimistic. Will this do for Jindal what the 2004 keynote speech did for Obama?

V572625694 February 25, 2009 at 3:53 pm

He will not be easily caricatured, except in the photo accompanying this post. But seriously: he’s so loony it’s like picking on a retarded kid.

GooseInANoose February 25, 2009 at 3:53 pm

I had a nightmare last night that I was standing in my mansion and then, out of nowhere, Bobby Jindal strolled in from the billiard room to warn me about giving money to volcanoes.

SayItWithWookies February 25, 2009 at 3:53 pm

Oh, thank you for mentioning this — I read Gerson’s column earlier and was just floored. My favorite sentence was this one:
Some have compared Jindal to Obama, but the new president has always been more attracted to platitudes than to policy.
Is it possible that George Won’tSomeonePleaseSuffocateMeWithAPillow Bush’s ex-speechwriter doesn’t know the meaning of the words platitude or policy?

Also, Gerson — give your poor mom a break and get a professional to cut your fuckin’ hair. Or else start wearing baggy shorts and suspenders so the rest of you looks like an idiot schoolboy too.

ManchuCandidate February 25, 2009 at 3:54 pm


NYNYNY February 25, 2009 at 3:54 pm

Jindal/Chris Brown 2016!

SayItWithWookies February 25, 2009 at 3:54 pm

[re=252666]paparapapa[/re]: Oh, god.

V572625694 February 25, 2009 at 3:55 pm

[re=252663]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Shorts x 3, you are Trustee Inmate of the Wonkette Commentariat, but may it be respectfully ventured that the “also” joke is a bit fatigued from overuse?

Now, Truck Nutz’ll never get old.

Texan Bulldoggette February 25, 2009 at 3:56 pm

That sound you heard last night was Gerson slapping his forehead after watching Bobby’s speech last night.

[re=252666]paparapapa[/re]: No.

Bruno February 25, 2009 at 3:56 pm

No Rhodes Scholar talks like Bobby. Or Billz

Serolf Divad February 25, 2009 at 3:58 pm

Is Jindall a secret Scientologist? Maybe that’s why he’s afraid of volcanoes. Isn’t that where all the bad “engrams” that infest our corporeal self are supposed to have sprouted from according to the Sacred Writings of L. Ron?

V572625694 February 25, 2009 at 3:59 pm

[re=252672]ManchuCandidate[/re]: [re=252675]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I think we were just shown by [re=252666]paparapapa[/re] that Jindal will be easily caricatured.

BeRightBack February 25, 2009 at 3:59 pm

The “knowledge class”? What?

Godot February 25, 2009 at 3:59 pm

[re=252666]parappatherapper[/re]: No, it won’t.

jagorev February 25, 2009 at 3:59 pm

I will never watch another episode of SNL ever again unless they get Jack McBrayer to do Jindal (WITHOUT any makeup or hair color)

AngryBlakGuy February 25, 2009 at 3:59 pm

Mittens, Sarah Palin, Bobby Jindal, damn Republicans are running out of Messiahs!

shortsshortsshorts February 25, 2009 at 4:00 pm

[re=252676]V572625694[/re]: I respectfully agree that the “also” mean should die in labor. Also.

MathewBrooks February 25, 2009 at 4:01 pm

poor piyush…

naveed February 25, 2009 at 4:02 pm
Hooray For Anything February 25, 2009 at 4:02 pm

That dead end at the end of conservatism is full these days that they’re going to have to use some of that stimulus money to try and build an annex.

snideinplainsight February 25, 2009 at 4:03 pm

So the story I read somewhere else (ok, I read other blogs, just occasionally, not meaning anything by it) is that ‘Bobby’ picked that name for himself after watching episodes of The Brady Bunch. You can draw your own conclusions about that. Me, I was only ever into Marsha.

lennixlewis February 25, 2009 at 4:05 pm

BUT COME ON! They are both SO BROWN! and SO YOUNG!! They are the saaame!!

Kobe Bryant 2012!!

smashtheduck February 25, 2009 at 4:05 pm

Well, apparently there’s still hope for Piyush/Palin 2012. Hannity still hearts the Bobby and is having him on next hour. Of course, it could just be Kenneth pranking Hannity. That would be teh awesome. Truck Nutz and Butt Seks should never be retired. Also.

Bruno February 25, 2009 at 4:06 pm

“…biodiesel refineries, quality assurance centers, digital media…”

And government meddling in these indusries is which part of a free market agenda?

Suds McKenzie February 25, 2009 at 4:06 pm

At least he remembered to put his pants on.

HopeyDope February 25, 2009 at 4:06 pm

I don’t think the members of the *guffaw* “knowledge class” actually call it the “knowledge class”.

Kenneth the NBC Governor February 25, 2009 at 4:08 pm

[re=252686]jagorev[/re]: Perfect. Like Dan Akroyd as Jimmy Carter with a mustache.

twingonaut February 25, 2009 at 4:09 pm

RIP “Also.” Remember that you were loved. Now you must return to the land of Butterstick and Macaca. Perhaps one day, like Cocktober, you will rise again but now it is time to rest with the knowledge that you served your purpose.

Now where is that Campbell Brown?!?

lumpenprole February 25, 2009 at 4:12 pm

I don’t do so well with members of the “knowledge class” either. Something about being “an idiot.” I’m glad someone like Jindal, who shares my inarticulate religious urges and brutally paranoid worldview, can speak for me.

Fox n Fiends February 25, 2009 at 4:13 pm

[re=252711]twingonaut[/re]: add “really?” to that list

cracksammich February 25, 2009 at 4:13 pm

I wish that speech had embarrassed him enough to leave Louisiana under cover of darkness…

Lascauxcaveman February 25, 2009 at 4:16 pm

[re=252692]naveed[/re]: Cute picture, but both Hils and Locke are yer standard issue Democratic machine pols who knew each other from Locke being gov of Washington state, Locke was involved (semi controversially) in previous Clinton fundraising, so … what? It’s a cute picture?

The Cold Sea February 25, 2009 at 4:16 pm


Dear Piyush:

It is very nice of you to start a Wonkette account. However, I don’t think it will do you any good to go from blog to blog and post such malarkey. You were bad. You were Iron Butterfly to Obama’s Led Zeppelin; the Bay City Rollers to Obama’s Beatles; Ernie Terrell to Obama’s Muhammad Ali. In short, FAIL! Even with the sound off, FAIL.

smashtheduck February 25, 2009 at 4:17 pm

Am I the only one hoping/praying that 30 Rock is frantically retaping this week’s episode?

space stout February 25, 2009 at 4:17 pm

i so called this last night- check the comments from Sara’s liveblogging. I was totally waiting for Jindal to start spinning tales about the Hill Witch… But really no reason to practice any impersonations cuz last night’s response was pretty much THE END of Jindal’s national ambitions. The End.

grevillea February 25, 2009 at 4:22 pm

Not easily caricatured? He’s a fundie Southern cracker. I mean poppadom.

TGY February 25, 2009 at 4:24 pm

The Titanic makes it safely into port, eh? And Dewey beats Truman as well.

snideinplainsight February 25, 2009 at 4:24 pm

Jindal 2012: the inarticulate religious urges and brutally paranoid worldview you deserve.

smashtheduck February 25, 2009 at 4:25 pm

[re=252666]paparapapa[/re]: Yes. Yes it will. IMO that speech made Obama’s keynote seem so, well, amatuer in comparison. BWAHAHAHAHAHAA Oh fuck, I can’t. I’d tell you to go back to freeper land but even those knuckle-draggers have abandoned Piyush. Maybe Malkin’s site? Maybe she missed the speech and is still supporting him.

Atheist Nun February 25, 2009 at 4:30 pm

[re=252666]paparapapa[/re]: Why, you don’t seem to understand snark at all… Are you, by chance, named David Denby?

Jukesgrrl February 25, 2009 at 4:30 pm

[re=252676]V572625694[/re]: [Screaming and crying] NO!! NO!!! How can you be so mean to also? What did also ever do to YOU??? Leave also alone!! Sob, sob. LEAVE. IT. ALONE. Also. Too.

sagaderisa February 25, 2009 at 4:31 pm

I fully encourage the Republican party to embrace Jindal the Castrator/Page and Moose Girl as their new messiahs. I mean many of us have recognized for years that they are wingnuts, but these icons help spell it out for the rest of the country. It also sounds like many conservatives, including Bobby Jindal, wrote their pieces before actually hearing what they were supposed to be responding to.

Mr Blifil February 25, 2009 at 4:33 pm

[re=252666]paparapapa[/re]: Stop you’re making me cry.

norbizness February 25, 2009 at 4:35 pm

They could, in the alternative, develop a manned spacecraft that deposits Gerson, Will, Kristol, Krauthammer, and the NRO Funky Bunch into the heart of the sun.

assistant/atlas February 25, 2009 at 4:37 pm

[re=252676]V572625694[/re]: Actually, the rule is that also should be used only when one references Sarah Palin’s mental abilities. Also, it is almost required such as also.

smashtheduck February 25, 2009 at 4:38 pm

Hannity thinks Piyush’s big problem was the back drop and that he “could have waved his hands more”. But his substance was teh perfect. I think Hannity=paparapapa

assistant/atlas February 25, 2009 at 4:42 pm

[re=252793]assistant/atlas[/re]: The hope being, of course, that Sarah Palin goes away and thus, also goes away also. Also is part of her presence, like little boys for Republicans. I think they call those “memes” or perhaps “classics.” Or maybe “cliches.”

IceCreamEmpress February 25, 2009 at 4:42 pm

Don’t bring me down…PIYUSH!
Don’t bring me down…PIYUSH!
Don’t bring me down…PIYUSH!
Don’t bring me down

What happened to the Gov who seemed a star
You rambled weirdly and you acted bizarre
Don’t bring me down
No no no no no,
Your party’s a wreck
And you have misplaced your neck
Don’t bring me down.

You’re always talkin’ ’bout that free market crap
Just give it up because you sound like a sap
Don’t bring me down
No no no no no,
You’re a figure of fun
Your fifteen minutes is done
Don’t bring me down, down, down, down, down
So get off the stage
You broke-ass Kenneth the Page
Don’t bring me down.

Electric Light Orchestra, not Emerson, Lake and Palmer as I suggested last night. (The codeine cough syrup bottle says ‘DO NOT USE MACHINE CAR’ but should probably say ‘DO NOT USE MACHINE COMPUTER’ considering.)

grevillea February 25, 2009 at 4:43 pm

“Tech support, this is Pi…, ah, Bobby.”

wheelie February 25, 2009 at 4:55 pm

[re=252666]paparapapa[/re]: the most effective I can remember since Ed Muskie’s fireside chat following Nixon’s State of the Union in 1970.

You mean his fireside chat on the eve of the House elections in November 1970, not the response to the January 1970 SOTU address, to which Muskie’s contribution was but one of a compendium and did not earn the notability of his November speech.

You people . . . *shakes head*

snideinplainsight February 25, 2009 at 5:02 pm

Stormy Daniels – now there’s an upcoming politician with legs, if you know what I mean!

Monsieur Grumpe February 25, 2009 at 5:03 pm

They better put some extra guards around Ronald Reagan’s grave. This desperation might drive them to try reanimating his corpse.

twingonaut February 25, 2009 at 5:31 pm

And not one person going for the obvious Parappa the Rapper reference? Either I’m incredibly old or incredibly young for this crowd.

“Really?” works well in very limited uses. It finally worked for Seth Meyers with the whole PotHead McOlympian Scandale!

Sarah Palin (vp@whitehouse.gov) February 25, 2009 at 5:34 pm

OK, also. Back to my original name.

paparapapa was stupid anyway. also.


AxmxZ February 25, 2009 at 5:48 pm

[re=252666]paparapapa[/re]: Oy vey, at least put some quotes up around the copypasta, eh?

keepinitrealyo February 25, 2009 at 6:09 pm

Tina Fey will keep the country Republican-free for decades.

Dean Booth February 25, 2009 at 6:21 pm

Jindal “will change his name to Theodore Ogelvie.” Like “Bobby”, his choice of name will depend on what he’s watching on TV when he decides to change it. I’m hoping for Wink Marindale.

bago February 25, 2009 at 6:22 pm

It’s all in the mind.

SayItWithWookies February 25, 2009 at 6:33 pm

[re=252886]Sarah Palin (vp@whitehouse.gov)[/re]: Aw, bummer — I was so hoping for a troll.

slinkimalinki February 25, 2009 at 7:18 pm

[re=252807]IceCreamEmpress[/re]: that cough syrup is clearly good shit. more use machine computer!

naveed February 25, 2009 at 7:21 pm

[re=252729]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: She looks like she’s about to eat him.

Red Zeppelin February 25, 2009 at 7:22 pm

[re=252666]paparapapa[/re]: Hey, don’t worry. I got the irony. The rest of this bunch is too young to remember who Ed Muskie was and/or are completely hungover.

shortsshortsshorts February 25, 2009 at 8:26 pm

[re=252666]paparapapa[/re]: Good form, Sarah Palin.

- SP

billy rubin February 25, 2009 at 8:47 pm

[re=252675]SayItWithWookies[/re]: [re=252824]wheelie[/re]: [re=252666]paparapapa[/re]: [re=253003]Red Zeppelin[/re]: No, the irony is that paparapapa lifted this text from Walter Dellinger. Here: http://www.politico.com/arena/perm/Walter_Dellinger_6A629B16-A79A-4BAB-AD74-0A5ACD4752EB.html

problemwithcaring February 25, 2009 at 8:52 pm

[re=252666]paparapapa[/re]: When Bobby Jin told that St. Olaf-esqu story about a crazy sheriff who despite an entire force of deputies was getting his ass so punked by a single bureaucrat over the phone, that he had to fucking name-drop Piyush, I near about died laughing.

So in that one way, yes, it was not mean-sprited.

myheadsexploding February 25, 2009 at 9:31 pm

Kenneth the Page. Droopy Leiberman Dawg. Foghorn Fred Leghorn and Egghead Cantor Jr.. Spike/Rush the Bulldog. Daffy Boner Duck. Olive Oyl Coulter. Sara Fargo Palin.

Is there a fun comedy character that is NOT represented in this fun GOP??

smellyal8r February 25, 2009 at 10:28 pm

I was just shocked it was so bad. I’ve actually met Gov. Jindal and in person, he doesn’t sound like Ellie Mae Clampett (or her ’09 counterpart, Kenneth the Page). I mean, he’s smart (for reals) and won a pretty good race in Louisiana (granted, New Orleans was washed away, meaning all the Ds had moved to other states). But, boy did he suck last night. I mean, end of the career suck. Clinton came back from that 200 minute convention speech in ’88, but that was before the blogesphere or Darrel Hammond. This will run for years on SNL (and, indeed, it should be the cast of 30 Rock as Jindal/Palin).

smellyal8r February 25, 2009 at 10:30 pm

[re=252671]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Sayit, I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: you are the funniest person on this blog (OK, Lionel Hutz and Shortshorts are funny too, but you make Diet Coke shoot out of my nose nearly every time).

NebraskashireGentry February 25, 2009 at 10:57 pm

strange then that Wonkette has effectively done both.

Valentine Flintheart February 26, 2009 at 12:46 am

[re=252694]snideinplainsight[/re]: You mean this Bobby Brady?:


lulzmonger February 26, 2009 at 4:41 am

[re=252711]twingonaut[/re]: Yeah, good move there … now we’re going to have Zombie Also to deal with. Also.

QuestionEvil February 26, 2009 at 11:00 am


You’re being sarcastic right?

Jindal looked like Kenneth the Page, made a Mr. Rogers speech and looked like he was wearing candy cane tie which would be an open invite to make a reference to Willy Wonka.

mjwilstein February 26, 2009 at 12:01 pm

Jack McBrayer responds to the Jindal comparison on Jimmy Fallon:

HedonismBot February 26, 2009 at 12:21 pm

Jindal looks like a 12-year-old boy and talks like Gomer Pyle. Gollee!

Zorg February 27, 2009 at 11:30 pm

[re=252666]paparapapa[/re]: No.

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