Wonkette
Let’s listen to WTOP for a minute, always fun for a laugh, uhm: “With nobody shopping and more stores vacant, three area shopping centers will scale back their hours starting next week.” Jesus! Isn’t that a nice punch in the mouth, for lunch? Westfield Montgomery Shopping Center, Westfield Wheaton Shopping Center and Westfield Annapolis Mall will all start opening later and closing earlier, the end. [WTOP]
On the plus side, there’s more open indoor space to squat make make your hobo stew.
Surely if Westfield conjured a way to receive the “Wonkette Bump,” their financial troubles would end, immediately and forever.
The end of shopping = the end of Western civilization.
I don’t need the mall. I need my laptop, my cable connection, and some manner of moist warm hole for “exercise.”
Hurray! Let this lead the way to more sex shops and porno stores.
Great. So what are us unemployed people going to do now that there’s not even crappy jobs at the Gap & Sbarro that pay $8 an hour.
Shit, now where will I get my Westfields on?
Mr Blifil: See, that is what I am thinking. I bet even before this downturn, a lot of people were using the internet. Amazon alone is resposible for driving a lot of bookstores out of business. Yes, things suck, but I think the trend was away from actual stores to some extent already.
Just means more nourishment for the cockroach that is Wal-Mart. They will still be open for 24 hours, but they will scale back from 2 cashiers to 1 part-timer. The greeting guy position is now staffed by community service drunks.
Hooray For Anything: Coming to you live from a coffee shop with free WiFi… It’s the Modern Hobo Living with KevoTron Show!
Srsly: in Tacoma last week the local utility company advertised a job for one (1) meter reader position. Apparently 1200 people showed up at the open application seminar. It’s hard to be optimistic when being a meter reader seems out of the picture.
Doglessliberal: To say nothing of the fact that I’m employed, but haven’t worked in an office for 2 years, except to deliver my final projects. There’s really no need anymore for companies to occupy huge structures where everybody works under one roof. Of course my freelancing could end at any moment, I realize. Then I’ll probably be begging to work at an Amazon warehouse driving a forklift. And I so will not be hired.
I’m sorry, but the assholes in California are still shopping. I tried to go to the galleria a few weeks ago and left after circling the parking lot for 20 minutes. Going to Target on your lunch break to pick up toilet paper is like a toboggan ride through the 3 ring of hell. I have seen no slowing in the rabid consumerism that has always frequented certain parts of the state. All I know is that the Indie Station out here was forced to go online rather than play Katy Perry to make ends meet, meanwhile Johnny Mouthbreather and his extended family are still wandering the mall for hours on end all weekend long.
shortsshortsshorts: Kev-O-Tron: YAY! You guys are back!
Kev-O-Tron: Start looking around at all your various grocery stores or coffee shops these days– more and more of the people who work there are on the old side rather than on the young side. Last week, the two people working Peet’s were both in their 40’s and my groceries were bagged by someone who had to be in their 50’s.
Depressing news… or opportunity come a-knockin’? More emtpy stores = more potential death row jail space, no? Behold, as I kill two birds with one stone with my new Dollar Store franchise spinoff - The Death Row Dollar Store.
Bada-bing, bada-boom, governors, I can cut your death row costs by over 99% and bring back jobs to your state, and hey, I’ll even throw in the executions free of charge. I mean how much does a bullet cost anyways, right? You’re welcome.
Everyone knows that tysons and pentagon city > any md westfield mall.
NoWireHangers: Someone seems stressed today.
BadKitty: I actually haven’t left… I just don’t have too much funny shit to talk about lately! All of the funny shit in my world is happening at food banks and the DSHS which sort of kills the vibe.
OT- like a good modern hobo I got a blackberry for home email and such. I can’t seem to comment here using it. Any tips on how to login? Does anyone else comment here with a mobile?
My Whole Foods is closing earlier, too. “We’re scaling back our hours so that more of us are here when YOU are here.” That made me feel a bit guilty that I haven’t been shopping at 10pm.
NoWireHangers: Ya but nobody is buying anything. As Californians, we just like being at the store, for vanity and all that.
Someone asks “What did you do today,” and the answer, after shopping without buying anything, can be “I WAS AT TIPHANIE’S, THEN I WENT TO MACY’S, THEN I CIRCLED AROUND THE BLOCK SIMPLY DEVESTATED THAT THERE WAS NO PARKING AT WHATEVER THE FUCK. YOU SHOULD GET OUT MORE. EVERYONE IS DOING IT. It’s a sad state of affairs, but at least the locals have the SPIRIT intact.
BadKitty: Haha thanks! KevoTron is trying to get a job, and my boss has cut off my interwebs. However there is a SECRET answer to why I can actually post here today. It is called “Influenza.”
Will No One Think of the Midshipmen!?
Where are the plebes going to go to now? damn economy…
They just need to build them a Bed, Bath and Beyond; a Starbucks; and an Old Navy. Bet they don’t have any of those around, and that would certainly be the ticket to providing invaluable goods and services. Oh, and a TJ Maxx and Ross Dress For Less and a Hobo Bean Garden.
Gopherit: Aww, I missed Wonkette. I’m upset that Gawker is killing Defamer. It’s the closest the New Great Depression has come to upsetting my daily routine. And work is chaffing my imaginary balls, but I can’t complain b/c I am still employed.
shortsshortsshorts: The weather is pretty decent in California to so if you’re unemployed or underemployed, going to the mall is a good way to kill time. You also got bargain matinees of movies and you can read books for free in Barnes & Noble. I’m already half the way through the Brothers Karamazov.
Kev-O-Tron: As a soon to be unemployed person stories like this make me just want to die. Death would be easier than the impending, and probably failtacular, job search. I’ve stopped even pretending I will ever have another job and decided to accept my future hobodom.
shortsshortsshorts: Yeah you’re right. Poors take the whole family to the mall and walk around the whole time window shopping. Now that we’re all poor, the malls will only be more crowded, but no one is buying anything. It’s a place to go now that park funding has been cut and they’re dealing meth on the merry-go-round.
It’s kind of depressing how I can relate to almsot every loosely depressing comment in this thread.
Hooray For Anything: You know, you can read books for free from the library, and take them home, too. Snark aside, our local libraries have been PACKED recently with people using the internet and, one hopes, checking out books, but I think it is mostly internet and checking out DVDs.
Doglessliberal: what are these “books” you speak of? Can I put them on my myspace page?
OffTheRecord: embrace it. Once you swallow your pride and just dive into the dumpster you’ll feel a whole lot better. Fortunately happy hour is still a reality and whisky tastes great when all you’ve eaten all day is a stale bagel and a mustard packet.
Thanx for the Specials reference Mr. Layne.
Kev-O-Tron: I’ve tried commenting on a Palm Treo without success, if that helps, which I can’t imagine it would.
hrhkingfriday: Yeah, Tyson’s Corner is great — who needs that kind of self-abuse? Tyson’s II is a particularly repugnant group of pretentious stores, or used to be.
Kev-O-Tron: you must buy a strange device known as a “Kindle”. I hear that techie Richard Cohen is a big fan.
V572625694: Yeah, but don’t lie, you too love walking around in the Galleria and laughing about how you’re the only one there. Also, sale signs in designer stores, that is just straight up funny.
hrhkingfriday: Somewhere, Tim Gunn shed a tear when you said that, and didn’t know why.
*scanning scanning scanning ok great no one has made the joke yet*
Yes, but how will this affect the Wil Wheaton Shopping Center? I need to know I can still get my Wesley Crusher memorabilia at any hour of the day!
“Hey kid, you wanna see a dead body? It’s called THE US ECONOMY!”
I’m so ashamed of myself right now.
The keyword here is Westfields Montgomery and Wheaton. None of the nice malls that actual people visit with the goal of actually buying something are shortening their hours.
This means I have to wait until 10:30 for my pretzel dog???? WTF people. This recession is
now officially a depression.