DAMNING WITH FAINT PRAISE  9:30 am February 25, 2009

Brooks: Jindal’s Speech Was Insane

by Sara K. Smith

Aaugh, David Brooks, cruel temptor! He writes these laughable columns that say “maybe the President should take a cautious, incrementalist approach to address the SWEEPING TSUNAMI OF FINANCIAL RUIN that threatens to cripple America for a generation,” but then he talks such hilarious smack about Bobby Jindal. So for today, Brooks is an alright guy. He is giddy at the downfall of his own party. [NewsHour via Ben Smith]

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BillyClubb February 25, 2009 at 9:36 am

All that rocking back and forth while he talks, Brooks looks like a blind man playing a piano.

Serolf Divad February 25, 2009 at 9:38 am

Bobby Jindall is my new hero. A man who can criticize the government for an ineffective response to Hurricane Katrina and in the same breath attack the government for wanting to spend money to monitor volcanic eruptions is so shamelessly partisan you just can’t help but love him. He’s like the evil Barack Obama from a parallel dimension… all he’s missing is the goatee.

WadISay February 25, 2009 at 9:41 am

I expected him to jump up on the desk, beat his chest and cry out, “My epistomological modesty is humungous!!!”

WagTehGod February 25, 2009 at 9:41 am

Does Brooks have Parkinson’s or something?

Bruno February 25, 2009 at 9:42 am

For once he actually makes some sense. So that means he has a Boner for Palin?

I didn’t think he went that way.

OReillysVibrator February 25, 2009 at 9:44 am

His real name is “Piyush” Jindal. Or, as I like to call him, Piyush “Hussein” Jindal.

snideinplainsight February 25, 2009 at 9:44 am

The thing I appreciated least about Jindal’s little talk was his sly segue from ranting about government ethics and corruption (in Lousiana!) to discussing the stimulus package, all in one breath. Did anybody else notice that? Was it just me that found that offensive?

I still think he peaked in The Sixth Sense. Also.

shanemacgowan February 25, 2009 at 9:44 am

Watched Fox last night for giggles. Even Britt Hume and Charles Krauthammer hated Piyush’s speech. Noone does a circular firing squad quite like the R’s.

Egregious February 25, 2009 at 9:44 am

Hmmm, it seems when Brooks puts on his “man” glasses, he makes sense.

GooseInANoose February 25, 2009 at 9:46 am

Volcano monitoring? BoJi knows that’s just more wasteful government spending. You cure diseases by exorcising evil spirits, you revive the economy with voodoo, and you prevent volcanic eruptions by throwing virgins into them. Everybody knows that. Why do you think the GOP is so supportive of abstinence education? Personally, I look forward to hearing more about BoJi’s innovative solutions to the pressing problems of our time.

totoro February 25, 2009 at 9:48 am

Well, Well. Looks like Brooks was reading these comments yesterday. He’s done another 180. So now it seems that the idea that government can and should do nothing to deal with economic crisis is “nihilism”? I thought society and its problems were too complex for top down liberal central planning. And his only beef with the stimulus was that it was “poorly drafted”—like one of his leaden columns. Brooks is a fraud and, it turns out, stupid. His kind of name-dropping, clause-heavy verbal masturbation stopped passing for intelligence by the time most people declared a major.

GooseInANoose February 25, 2009 at 9:49 am

If you do not ever forward anything else, please forward this to all your contacts… this is very scary to think of what lies ahead of us here in our own United States… better heed this and pray about it and share it.

Who is Bobby Jindal?

Probable U.S. presidential candidate, Piyush ‘Bobby’ Jindal was born in Baton Rouge, Lousiana, to Amar Jindal, an Indian REPUBLICAN from Punjab and Raj Jindal, a REPUBLICAN information technology director.

Jindal takes great care to conceal the fact that he is a REPUBLICAN. He is quick to point out that he attended Brown University and was elected to office after Hurricane Katrina. Jindal’s political handlers are attempting to make it appear that he is not a radical.

Jindal’s introduction to Republicanism came via George H.W. Bush, and this influence was temporary at best. In reality, the senior Bush returned to Texas soon after Jindal’s political awakening, and never again had any direct influence over his indoctrination.

Jim McCrery, a REPUBLICAN congressman, introduced his protege to Republicanism during the Gingrich Revolution of 1994. Jindal was enrolled in the Republican Party in Lousiana. Republicanism is the RADICAL teaching that is followed by wingnuts who are now waging cultural warfare against the western world. Since it is politically expedient to be a MODERATE when seeking major public office in the United States, Piyush ‘Bobby’ Jindal has presented himself as a reformer in an attempt to downplay his Republican background.

Piyush ‘Bobby’ Jindal will NOT support progressive policies nor will he show any reverence for our constitution. While others proudly voted for change, Jindal slouched and supported four more years of the policies of GEORGE W. BUSH.

Let us all remain alert concerning Jindal’s expected presidential candidacy.

The Republicans have said they plan on destroying the US from the inside out, what better way to start than at the highest level – through the President of the United States, one of their own!!!

freppish February 25, 2009 at 9:50 am

that was such a terrible speech, he should definitely run along with Palin in 2012

rina February 25, 2009 at 9:50 am

Since David Brooks is wrong about everything always does that mean that Jindal is teh awesome?

Norbert February 25, 2009 at 9:55 am

Brooks’ perceived waffling and flailing about are merely the symptoms of the cognitive dissonance and turmoil he is experiencing — due to his belated and subconscious realization that the party of Palin and Jindal and Bunning and whatever remaining fuckwits is not the party of Burke. Or he had a prostate exam yesterday. Also.

hobgoblin of little minds February 25, 2009 at 9:56 am

Clearly, Brooks is just pissed that bobby didn’t show enough epistemological modesty in the rebuttal speech. And, he didn’t mention Truck Nutz. Also.

hockeymom February 25, 2009 at 10:00 am

I suggest we turn Wonkette’s unwavering eye on WashPo’s newest columnist.
Bill Kristol.
Mr. Kristol thought Obama’s speech sucked because he wasn’t “WAR” enough.
Kristol wants more WAR talk. Less of this pussy economy stuff.

Truculent February 25, 2009 at 10:00 am

Watching Jindal’s lollipop head bobbing around drove me nuts, especially that stupid applause line “American can do anything.” Holy shit. If this is the best the GOP can do, it’s going to be a long time in the wilderness. They get half credit for finding a brown guy to do the dirty work but Palin is starting to look good compared to this clown.

Oh Bobby, on the volcano thing, volcanoes sometimes erupt and KILL PEOPLE. Recall Mt. St Helens, if you will, and the super-volcano simmering under Yellowstone that would wipe out half the country if it went off.

Stupid tool.

irativ February 25, 2009 at 10:01 am

Brooks is hilarious about 10% of the time when he remembers to screw his head in to his neck.

Like, uh, I remember a column from 2004 where he said having a bunch of Republicans in New York City for a convention would be (and I’m paraphrasing) “a disaster for the party.” http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9403EFDF123DF935A35751C1A9659C8B63&sec=&spon=&pagewanted=all

WadISay February 25, 2009 at 10:01 am

I kept wishing an old fashioned Louisiana governer could have given the speech: a massively overweight guy in a Panama suit, loose wide tie, big sweat stains under his arms, holding a fly swatter and a stogie in one hand and a glass of Jack in the other, and wrapping up with, laissez le bon temps rollez! I be raght wit’ ya, honey.” It would have been way better than Piyush.

PsycGirl February 25, 2009 at 10:08 am

Hurricane monitoring = good.
Volcano monitoring = bad.
Elegant enunciation = bad
talking like Mr. Rogers with dry mouth = good.

I think I got it.

d4g33z February 25, 2009 at 10:14 am

Donny: Are these the Nazis, Walter?
Walter Sobchak: No, Donny, these men are nihilists, there’s nothing to be afraid of.

Cicada February 25, 2009 at 10:14 am

Poor Piyush! Even the conservative intellectuals have turned against him, the “scary smart” future of the party.
I hope this doesn’t mean that the Palin/Jindal dream ticket is off the table. 2012 will be soooooo boring if we end up with Mittens or Pawlenty.

AngryBlakGuy February 25, 2009 at 10:15 am

…the GOP debates are going to be AWESOME in 2012!

Guppy06 February 25, 2009 at 10:17 am

[re=252160]WadISay[/re]: Last I heard, Edwards was still a guest of the Feds in Texas.

bitchincamaro February 25, 2009 at 10:21 am

@ 0:34, Shields is like, “Damn, this dude stole MY notes!”

Josh Fruhlinger February 25, 2009 at 10:23 am

I have to say that I am always charmed by the Lehrer show’s circa 1987 sets. That, along with Brooks’ inability to look at the camera or stop fidgeting (qualities that one usually expects from TV news talking heads) gives the whole affair a charming public access vibe.

Tommy Says Soooo February 25, 2009 at 10:24 am

David Vitter crapped himself it was so bad.

Sussemilch February 25, 2009 at 10:26 am

[re=252170]Cicada[/re]: It doesn’t really matter who they roll out there. If they couldn’t get a moderate-appealing war hero to beat a black guy named Hussein, then they lost on the party, not the candidate. They need some serious re-branding.

Zadig February 25, 2009 at 10:27 am

[re=252169]d4g33z[/re]: Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it’s an ethos.

brown_recluse February 25, 2009 at 10:27 am

Something I don’t understand: Jindal and his Sherriff friend wanted to go a-rescuin’ in boats when Katrina struck, but first they had to go aginst the big bad guvmint. Does Jindal not think that he and Sheriff Friend are not part of the Government?

President Beeblebrox February 25, 2009 at 10:29 am

My word! A Mussulman President and a Hindoo Governor. What will this world come to when the Raj no longer controls this nation? Piyush, please fetch Madam and me another scone and some clotted cream, there’s a good lad.

Mr Blifil February 25, 2009 at 10:31 am

So evolution is a hoax, but volcanoes exist? I mean OK he doesn’t want to fund volcano monitoring, but the dude admitted that volcanoes EXIST!!! This is a triumph for Obama’s attempts to reclaim SCIENCE.

cafeconleche February 25, 2009 at 10:31 am

[re=252183]Zadig[/re]: *snort* my thoughts exactly

Capitol Hillbilly February 25, 2009 at 10:34 am

Tommy Says Soooo: good thing he was wearing diapers!

Clancy_Pants February 25, 2009 at 10:34 am

He had me at “uhh not so well”

IceCreamEmpress February 25, 2009 at 10:36 am

Let’s talk about this spammer guy:

He seems not to understand what “sugar daddy” and “sugar baby” mean, since he’s implying that they’re reciprocal.

gurukalehuru February 25, 2009 at 10:36 am

[re=252148]anno[/re]: I don’t know who you are or why you’re here, but I like the way you talk.

Mr Blifil February 25, 2009 at 10:37 am

[re=252184]brown_recluse[/re]: To say nothing of the fact that Piyush was in Baton Rouge on the dates when the revenyooers were impounding the rescue boats.

Also, the boats were going to have to go down what had been streets earlier in the week, with the water full of asbestos, glass, alligators, and downed power lines. If the Sheriff was so gung-ho about rescue, why wasn’t his ass on a shrimp boat, toute suite? Also.

bitchincamaro February 25, 2009 at 10:41 am

[re=252194]IceCreamEmpress[/re]: spammer guy is a fucktard.

Scarab February 25, 2009 at 10:44 am

Obviously Jindal is one of Obama’s sleeper cell muslins whose mission is to bring down the Republican Party. It’s all falling into place, people.

rocktonsammy February 25, 2009 at 10:46 am

Heckeva job, Piyushie

HollyP February 25, 2009 at 10:48 am

[re=252133]GooseInANoose[/re]: Lord can you aethiests not remember that exorcism is a Catholic Rite? Catholics like Bobby don’t do voodoo. Get your religious quack sects straight, man.

President Beeblebrox February 25, 2009 at 10:50 am

[re=252205]HollyP[/re]: Hey, wait, Piyush DID wish us a Happy Mardi Gras at the beginning of his address. Nothing says “economic recovery” like taking your top off for beads and publicly vomiting on Bourbon Street.

sati demise February 25, 2009 at 11:01 am

[re=252179]Tommy Says Soooo[/re]: win!

proudcitizen February 25, 2009 at 11:05 am

“Even the conservative intellectuals have turned against him, the “scary smart” future of the party.” Isn’t “conservative intelectuals” and oxymoron?

Dr Tobias Funke February 25, 2009 at 11:05 am

Is it true that Piyush Jindal’s middle name is Jihadist?

Also, where can I see a copy of his birth cert? mmmkthanxbye

Texan Bulldoggette February 25, 2009 at 11:08 am

[re=252207]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Don’t forget getting shot at! Because it ain’t a party until someone starts shooting at you.

actor212 February 25, 2009 at 11:19 am

Bobby Jindal, Slumdog Governor.

What a joke.

Jonny Lieberman February 25, 2009 at 11:19 am

[re=252169]d4g33z[/re]: Say what you want about the tenants of National Socialism, but at least it was an ethos.

Bowdoin February 25, 2009 at 11:24 am

The body language is important. You see Mr Brooks always before, and he’s like a Darvon ad; flat affect, which is after all the definition of cool. Now he’s rocking in his seat and throwing tomahawks. Disaster, he says of the Palin wing of the party. Insane, he says of the Louisiana response.

So now if they expel him from the party of the neanderthals it would be win-win, as he’s about the last sane voice there is. For intellectual heft, they would be left with the dementia of George Will.

In Newsweek just this week, in a column on Marbury vs Madison, there was a warning parenthesis to the Republicans. The Federalists were in power, then they lost it in 1802, and they became strictly obstructionist, like the dinosaur. It’s why you don’t see them around no more.

acilius February 25, 2009 at 11:29 am

Apparently the people who brought you Tina Fey lookalike Sarah Palin decided to stick with the 30 ROCK theme. Good job, Kenneth the Page!

TestRat1 February 25, 2009 at 11:33 am

I will never visit Bolly Rouge again.

shortsshortsshorts February 25, 2009 at 11:33 am



cal February 25, 2009 at 11:33 am

[re=252204]rocktonsammy[/re]: +1

finland February 25, 2009 at 11:38 am

[re=252186]President Beeblebrox[/re]: i believe you’ve mistyped your name. i think you were trying to enter in “Madam Nooninghamptonshire” but accidentally got “President Beeblebrox.” careful with that!

madtowngooner February 25, 2009 at 11:49 am

A geriatric nurse friend of mine told me once that when old ladies rock back and forth like Brooksie was doing in this video they are in fact masturbating. David Brooks is a masturbating old lady! And WTF, the American people didn’t like the stimulus bill the D’s passed? Hell, we’re rockin’ in our cum drenched chairs over it.

Terry February 25, 2009 at 12:02 pm

[re=252123]Serolf Divad[/re]:

and a white persian cat to pet.

Red Zeppelin February 25, 2009 at 12:09 pm

I think Bobby Jindal is a very promising politician, but I must say, in all honesty, that he looked like a shaved monkey out there.

randomsausage February 25, 2009 at 12:10 pm

Most hilarious was his “Mardi Gras” quip at the beginning. It was like having your dad walk into your bedroom when you were a teenager, listening to the music on ye olde stereo player, and telling your assembled friends…”hey kids, this one’s got a good beat”.

SayItWithWookies February 25, 2009 at 12:15 pm

[re=252139]rina[/re]: Brooks is actually amenable to reason part of the time. On All Things Considered he sometimes completely agrees with E.J. Dionne. If he were a real Republican he’d have that fixed (a simple procedure, I’m told) but he’s an interesting representation of how the base is calving off the moderates at an increasingly rapid pace. Political climate change in a way — which the Republicans also don’t believe in.

sarahconnor February 25, 2009 at 12:16 pm

Brooks needs to get his meds checked. He is on an epistemological roller coaster. He must get off before he wets his pants… or I wet mine.

TeddyS February 25, 2009 at 12:20 pm

Well, Booby Jindal crashed and burned before he ever got off the ground. Damn. Incredible as it seems, Sarah is looking stronger by the day as the GOP 2012 candidate.

snideinplainsight February 25, 2009 at 12:32 pm

He’s the man who put the “goober” in “goobernatorial” -

In-a-gadda-velveeta February 25, 2009 at 12:32 pm

Clearly my allergies were acting up and making my vision blurry when I read on the video above: Brooke Shields on the GOP Response.

That said, I wonder what her take on things would be.

SkimLatteModerate February 25, 2009 at 12:33 pm

[re=252281]randomsausage[/re]: I’m sad to say I immediately switched the channel upon hearing those words. Apparenty I missed an entire speech full of awkwardness.

Peanut Inspector February 25, 2009 at 12:36 pm

Volcano monitoring forces an unholy wedge between faith and science. When Vulcan is angry, he must be appeased, and we must not seek to guess his will.

snideinplainsight February 25, 2009 at 12:51 pm

Bobby Jindal is HAWT!!

sanantonerose February 25, 2009 at 12:51 pm

God help me, but I love his pink ties.

snideinplainsight February 25, 2009 at 12:54 pm

I’m sorry, I meant Stormy Daniels. Stormy Daniels is HAWT!!! That’s what I meant to say.

Yeah, Bobby Jindal is a weinerschnitzel bobblehead. Yeah, Stormy, she’s the one I was thinking of.

I’m glad we got that cleared up.

randomsausage February 25, 2009 at 12:57 pm

What’s most disconcerting about Jindal is his accent. I want him to talk like Apu and here he is channeling Cletus from the Dukes of Hazzard.

Woodwards Friend February 25, 2009 at 1:04 pm

[re=252232]Jonny Lieberman[/re]: Come on, Donny, they were threatening castration!

Mustang February 25, 2009 at 1:09 pm

Can’t you just hear the Rs going on? I’m sure they were saying stuff like “So we got some kinda darky or woman or some shit we can put up there for a response after the gawd damn speeh by the magic negro? Whut? We got a Indian? You mean like a Geronimo Indian? Like a India Indian? Well, put him on there then.”

teebob2000 February 25, 2009 at 1:18 pm

[re=252306]Peanut Inspector[/re]: SUCH a win.

wildeoats February 25, 2009 at 1:37 pm

Jindal should be the latest installment in the course teaching the Repubs to be suspicious of the idea that the savior of the Republican party can come from some little out of the way shithole state, like Louisiana, or Alaska, or Arkansas.

Chi-town_Vinny February 25, 2009 at 1:42 pm

I like Krugman’s analysis of the speech – “The intellectual incoherence is stunning. Basically, the political philosophy of the GOP right now seems to consist of snickering at stuff that they think sounds funny. The party of ideas has become the party of Beavis and Butthead.”

NYNYNY February 25, 2009 at 1:57 pm

[re=252187]Mr Blifil[/re]: Volcano monitoring is an environmentalist hoax.

Crankenstank February 25, 2009 at 2:04 pm

Governor Bobby Piyush would make a great Prexy because Louisiana is all fixed now, no thanks to that dagnabbed Congress. (He said so in the speech, so it must be true.)

TGY February 25, 2009 at 2:14 pm

Weirdly, his tie seems to match his lips.

snideinplainsight February 25, 2009 at 2:14 pm

This whole rhetorical device of repubs pulling one tiny little line item out of the budget and ranting about it is astonishingly stupid. Weirdly, a lot of Americans now are math literate enough to realize that compared to a trillion or a hundred billion, a million or even a hundred million is tiny.

And beyond that, they’ve just been entirely tone-deaf about their choice of examples. People get that volcanoes are bad news. Looking up at a huge eruption of molten lava and exploding stone on the horizon, we well imagine most people thinking (not idly) “Shouldn’t someone have been keeping tabs on that?” Pompei, anyone?

A helicopter for the President? Wouldn’t that have been exactly the same thing any right-wing president would have ridden around in, had they won?

Neilist February 25, 2009 at 2:19 pm

And now, Verse the Fourth in my continuing homage to Rudyard Kipling:


The speech young Bobby made, just was not up to grade.
The country does not bond with Hindu dweebs.
He looked nervous as a goose, or a Thugee with a noose,
As he channeled Herbert Hoover from the grave.

As an initial bid for office, it was bloody blinkin’ ‘awful,
As Dave Brooks said of the sepoy’s first parade.
“If THAT’s the best that we can do, then the GOP is THROUGH!”
And he wept a bitter tear of doubt and shame.

Jindal! Jindal! Jindal! What the HELL you doing now?,
Cried the partisians of Palin in their pain.
Even Dave Brooks says you’re screwed! What’s the Party now to do?
We’ve run out of tokens to advance our aims!

[You know, I can do this all day. And probably will, unless shot.]

Fox n Fiends February 25, 2009 at 3:08 pm

[re=252244]TestRat1[/re]: “Bolly Rouge”…. y’all dun mik me guffaw dadgummit

hobospacejungle February 25, 2009 at 5:46 pm

[re=252453]Neilist[/re]: TOTAL WIN. PLEASE TO CONTINUE SIR.

President Beeblebrox February 25, 2009 at 6:00 pm

[re=252249]finland[/re]: My word, yes, how could I have been so daft? Piyush, please go fetch me the blotter and eraser, thank you, son.

Thank you, GOP, for giving us so much comment hilarity. Michael “Keep the faith, baby” Steele, Palin, Jingle, and Limbaugh are the gifts that keep giving.

Take up the Limbaugh’s burden–
Send forth the best ye breed–
Go bind your Steele to exile
To serve your base’s need;
To wait in heavy harness,
On fluttered folk and wild–
Your new-caught, sullen Piyush,
Half devil and half child.

Take up the Limbaugh’s burden–
In patience to abide,
To veil the threat of Muslins
And check the show of pride;
By halting speech and simple,
An hundred times made plain
To seek another’s profit,
And work another’s gain.

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