Hey so has Barack Obama bailed out everyone, personally, yet? No? Your editor comes late to this outing because she is (SHHHHH) blogging from her Ladies’ Book Club for Ladies, or as Ken Layne calls it, “The Ladies’ Regional Cooking Book Club.” So if the commentary here is less than enlightened, it’s because your editor is surrounded by drunk ladies who are trying to play the Wonkette drinking game while also talking about literature.
9:36 PM — Oh yoiks this is a high definition TV we’re looking at, and Charlie Rangel is frightening. Everybody looks alarmingly pink.
9:36 PM — Did Ken already mention that Nancy Pelosi looks like an extra from Star Trek? At least she is not blinking constantly.
9:38 PM — Ooh inside scoop! One Ladies’ Book Club attendee reports that she saw Nancy Pelosi once in a clinic in New Orleans, and she is tiny. Like, under 5’4″ in extremely high heels. Sorry, this is the sort of edgy commentary you’ll get for the next half hour, while your editor cannot actually hear anything on the teevee.
9:39 PM — A passionate argument breaks out about how old Nancy Pelosi is. In her 50s? Her 70s? “No way is she 69,” says someone, which is sort of true, because she’ll be 69 in March. “I have new feelings about facelifts and Botox,” says another Lady.
9:40 PM — Something about green energy or something? Right, renewable energy will free us from the Arabs and save polar bears.
9:41 PM — “Years of bad decision making…” An impassioned plea to save the auto industry. Why does all the cheering sound like boos? It is very low pitched. Dang it, we forgot to include the phrase, “But this is America!” in your Wonkette drinking game.
9:42 PM — Closing loopholes…Is it a coincidence that every audible snippet that comes from this television just conveys some blurb from Obama’s stump speech, or is this whole address like that?
9:45 PM — Who is that confused-looking man they just zoomed in on? Is that the guy from North Dakota who had the brain problem? THAT WAS NOT CANCER, MAN.
9:45 PM — “There will be many different opinions and ideas,” all of which President Obama will feel free to ignore, because HE WON.
9:45 PM — Healthcare reform in our lifetime! Well, that would be nice, but come on. We do not have another trillion dollars where the last trillion came from.
9:46 PM — “We have one of the highest high-school dropout rates in the history of civilization.” Everybody jump up and cheer! We’re #1!
9:47 PM — Obama is going to bail out the Educations, too.
9:48 PM — “Mandy Moore and Ryan Adams are engaged.” It is impossible to hear our president over the din of celebrity gossip in this room. Sorry, friends!
9:48 PM — Holy wow, everybody SPRINGS from their seats to applaud quitting on your country. Did Obama just wink at somebody? Patrick Kennedy?
9:49 PM — Senator Orin Hatch, elbowed by his neighbor. Lindsey Graham fidgeting. The whole audience is rapt. Barack Obama would remind you that he is a parent, of children, who learn both at home and in school. Hmm, and a segue into fiscal responsibility via filial duty.
9:52 PM — A laugh! And then boos and cheers! Jesus, suddenly this is a meeting in the House of Commons.
9:54 PM — Nancy Pelosi, grinning gleefully at no-bid contracts in Iraq. Every time she stands up her jacket just looks weirder.
9:55 PM — Holy cats, Hillary Clinton is brightly attired. This television screen makes every woman in the audience look like she’s wearing the same exact loud shade of fuchsia.
9:56 PM — We are also suffering from a deficit of trust! Aww, poetry. End the war. Ha, what do you think of THAT, John McCain? He looks a little sour. He is still sore over the other night’s helicopter debate.
9:58 PM — Hmm, who is this fellow up in the gallery there? No idea, but we can tell you all about one Book Group gal’s failed attempts to set up a friend with another Book Group gal’s friend. It did not work out, too bad. Oh politics.
10:00 PM — Wasn’t this speech sort of billed as a “just talk about the munniez” sort of speech? Because he seems to be covering all the bases here.
10:02 PM — Hmm, contemplate this: Joe Biden, who says nothing, gets a glass of water, while our brave President gets no water at all.
10:03 PM — Brief aside: You see that mustachioed gent next to Chesley Sullenberger? That was his assistant guy, the “first mate” or whatever, and he was on Charlie Rose recently and was awesome. At one point he gave Charlie this look like “are you retarded?” when he explained that the engines get the plane in the air but then the wings keep it aloft.
10:05 PM — Oh now we are in the part where he singles out the “ordinary Americans,” such as the bank CEO who was wealthy enough to donate $60 million to his employees.
10:06 PM — Man, how rad would that be to be a kid in high school or junior high or whatever and get to sit next to Michelle Obama during the president’s big speechy? Pretty great. They must have coordinated (purple) outfits.
10:08 PM — This is the “yes we can” portion of the speech, about America’s enduring spirit, &c. Annd it’s over, huzzah!
{ 327 comments }
I’m loving this. Barry speaks so well.
I’m there in spirit, sks.
Loving the drunkladies club right here bitches
FIRSTISH!
Nice glare at the Republicans
Nancy just scratched her leg.
Whitey on the moon?
Al Gore invented the internets and tubes, and made them so confusing that Uncle Ted had to explain them. Government works!
I love the blingee on these liveblogs, truly I do.
Biden is texting.
Energy, healthcare, education > War, war, war
[re=251246]simetrias[/re]: Yes, imagine a President who actually explains things. Weird!
Lousy liquor and horrendous Wal-Mart wine is all there is at my parents’ house. (Visiting for a couple of days.) All this in Manassas, where one really NEEDS the alcohol . . .
Sigh, the jumbo-sized Skyy lemon vodka might be good for something . . .
Let’s move to China.
Barry is on fire. Rrrreow.
“The country that harnesses clean, renewable energy…”
fusion! fusion! fusion!
When do we get to the evil axis part?
Tell us more about this ladies book club (lesbian sorority), Sara. In graphic detail, please.
He is in good form – it’s all very positive.
O/T: Book-wise, I want to sex Christopher Rice.
USA! USA!
I see the pattern:
Her comes the Michelle reference in 3..2..1
Her comes the Lincoln reference in 3..2..1
Her comes the JFK reference in 3..2..1
Her comes the Clinton reference in 3..oops let’s not go there…
So far good sales pitch. I’ll buy it.
I love him all over again, but I’m outta here at 9:00 central to watch Leverage.
Whoop Raleigh Times Blingee!
Oh Barry, I don’t even care in what context, just please say nuclear. Just once. I need a SOTU without the nukular.
[re=251246]simetrias[/re]: He’s very clean.
[re=251253]bitchincamaro[/re]: Haha. Fantastic! I can’t pay my doctor bills, but…
Yeah! Funding for basic research. Can I haz my grant proposal funded now!
I love how both the red and blue lines on MSNBC have confined themselves to the very top of the range there, fluctuating between “Lincoln” and “FDR” as it were.
Why does Bam keep splitting his infinitives?
Here’s a weird though:. What do you think Dubya’s doing now? I’d like to think he’s already fast asleep, dreaming sweet dreams.
[re=251262]Uncommon Nonsense[/re]: your parents are sorority girls?
Wa that Barbara Boxer or Penny Marshall? Time for someone to look into the “Lifestyle Lift”.
Korean batteries! Yay?
Oh shit, more chemistry.
Gas power: just plug a tub into Cheney’s ass.
Ooooh, carbon cap-and-trade! Study your French and other socialist language, people!
Barry smiled when he said “Speaking of our auto industry… “, he smiled like he was about to make a funny.
Biden’s looking more and more like Ledger as the Joker. No?
SKS, you nailed the Pelosi description! I couldn’t quite get it myself, but she could fit right in as one of McCoy’s ‘mature’ love interests.
we didn’t invent the automobile
The only thing that could make this better is if Palin was giving the response.
Um, Barry, the US did not invent the automobile.
Republicans are getting more exercise than ever.
Wait, we can’t WALK away from the automobile? Mixin metaphors there, Bare.
Critical tone: “Speaking of the auto industry…”
CUT TO CARL LEVIN, LOOKING SAD
The United Auto Workers just fell on their knees, raised their hands and said, “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
Huh? We dint invent the auto, the froggy French did!!!!!!!!!!!
Blame FRANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No one messes with Joe! (Except the gaffe police)
“The nation that invented the automobile cannot walk away from it.”
Yeah, we call a tow truck.
Yay cars!
God I am drunk.
Ohhh…healthcare.
I’m live commenting from my sewing circle. I can’t sew, and I’m the only one in it. It’s a small circle. Okay, more like a point.
Come on, man, mention trains.
this book club blog is awesome. how many bottles of grigio are present?
[re=251267]SayItWithWookies[/re]: You mean like on the surface of the sun?
Did Nancy almost hurl when he said “clean coal”?
Jill Biden’s eyes are in different places on her head.
ER, uh… Germany invented the automobile… Karl Benz somebody or other.
Look, y’all. I get it–you know how to stand. Let my boy speak.
Everyone’s applauding universal health care? Where’s fuckin’ Rod Serling when you need him?
So, I’m thinking that Wonkette needs to get some advertising money from Blingee. I just made 5, because I was hypnotized by the wonkette Blingee madness.
Wow, Republicans hate little kids.
Haha. I’m gonna go friend Pelosi on facebook. BRB.
[re=251286]jagorev[/re]: furiously clearing brush while he jams to shitty ’80s hair metal?
nancy just about transported out on the s-chip reference.
Nancy keeps chewing her lip. Whatcha got in there?
Rat-bastard Rs not standing up for sick kids. Eat shit and die, Repugs.
wow curing cancer! he is jesus!
Wait, Barry’s going to cure cancer now? PRESUMPTUOUS.
who’s up in the nosebleed seats?
American peoplez:
I hope you noticed that the GOP members refused to stand during a line about providing HEALTH CARE FOR CHILDREN.
I think Nancy is going to fly in a minute.
[re=251308]bitchincamaro[/re]: I thought it was the Germans that invented the automobile, you know that Daimler Benz guy.
So what’s on the desk in front of Biden/Pelosi? Biden has a glass of vodka, obs, but Nancy? She’s got a salt/pepper/vinegar cruet set? Or a sixpack of highballs?
When am I getting this Congressional healthcare, by the way.
if he mentions universal healthcare i will need new pants
Okay, the cure for cancer’s a bit of a stretch. The war against cancer started before the war on drugs. It has had more success, though. My dealer’s in remission.
We got the rights to say we invented the car because of WWII. Keep up.
[re=251318]Jonny Lieberman[/re]: Shhh.
Barry: “Next week, we’re fixing healthcare. Seriously, we’re doing it. I’m serious. This is srs buziness, yo. We’re doing it. I mean it.”
He’s damn right about the need for health care reform. Now GET IT DONE.
Bring the Peppermint Patty back to the US.
OMG! No Doubt is getting back together. Obama decreed it. It must be done! For the economy.
Pharma stocks tanking tomorrow.
[re=251311]OffTheRecord[/re]: do not drive!
After Barry saves our money, he’s going to cure cancer?
He is going to cure cancer! IT’S A MIRACLE.
[re=251344]SayItWithWookies[/re]: LOL
What about the war on the educational car?
[re=251303]mirrorball[/re]: That’s what happens when you have a 27-year-old speechwriter. He pulled that automobile “fact” out of his ass whilst at Starbucks.
[re=251318]Jonny Lieberman[/re]: Now is not the time to talk about Germans. It is time to talk about ‘mericans. Some other back asswards country might have invented the actual car, but we made it better.
[re=251340]jagorev[/re]: We invented the crappy mass-produced car.
[re=251344]SayItWithWookies[/re]: WIN! All-time WIN!
We’re winning at drop out rates!!
USAUSAUSAUSAUSAUSA!
Sorry, but how can the Republicans not be for SCHIP (health insurance for kids)? I just don’t get it.
[re=251318]Jonny Lieberman[/re]: Fuck all you guys, you know what he meant.
Education from the time kids are born. Um, ok. Say GOOOO.
is our children learning?
Wow, McCain looks SO pissed that he’s not the one up there giving this speech.
Is Pelosi sitting in a spring loaded seat? She’s jumping up and down like a cheerleader on crack.
[re=251341]choinski[/re]: I just noticed that. WTF is that thing? Of course, Nancy being a white lady of a “certain age”, it is pretty safe to assume there’s vodka involved somehow.
“Closing loopholes…Is it a coincidence that every audible snippet that comes from this television just conveys some blurb from Obama’s stump speech, or is this whole address like that?”
FACT. Nice catch.
[re=251336]obfuscator[/re]:
For real? Nazis
From they day they are born to the day they make a career
For Octokids, that’s about three minutes fifteen seconds.
we have to start school AT BIRTH now?
GAAAAAWD
This is the oddest group of white folks in America. You mean to tell me these old farts are the best our communities could do in sending someone to Congress? Tragic. Frank Lautenberg should be at the track every day, rather than here (and I’m a Democrat)
I am so happy Wordpress is powered by the Calico Vision engine. (love you)
[re=251345]Squiggyfm[/re]: Don’t mention the war.
wE Need more reform schools. yesh!
Charter schools, as in, what killed New Orleans after Katrina *(under Bush)?>
Did Nancy bring her silver-plated pancake syrup dispenser with her tonight? Seriously, what is that?
[re=251294]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Je voudrais lecher le President parce que il est reveur. Viva le muslin francais!
[re=251266]AxmxZ[/re]: En effet.
Hear that, bristol palin?? NO dropping out of hi school! Git ta class.
[re=251363]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: ‘Cuz sick poor kids are just socialists in training. It’s better for ‘Merica if they die. Duh!
OMG dropping out of high school is illegal now!
[re=251337]boredcommunist[/re]: Nancy’s expressions have gone from totes high, to bad trip, to munchies. She’s thinking of the pizza in her office right now.
He’s asking me to commit to a year of education? Damn, I hated college. But if President Obama asks — aww crap.
wait. no more college dropouts means no more basketball. not good.
College!
he totally just said high school drop outs are traitors
he’s asking everyone to commit to more education?
Barry: “I’ve only had this gig for a month, and already I’m sick of governing a country of dumb-dumbs. So I hereby order that everyone GTFO and go to college. Come back when you can use ‘Foucauldian’ in a sentence.”
I always thought we were a nation of functionally retarded inbreds because we wanted to be that way. I didn’t know we were a nation of high school dropouts. Fuck.
[re=251366]freppish[/re]: our children is spelling potatoe
Are those Americans graduating from . . . American colleges? Okay, we might be able to do that.
huzzah for hatch and kennedy
I’m looking for a “lower education”
and Hatch can suck my dingleberries
Orin Hatch is like, ‘whatever, bro.’
When Barry called out Hatch, Hatch made this little face like, huh? Am I spozed to write some legislation or something?
Hatch’s tie is made of solid gold.
Does commenting on Wonkette count as volunteering?
[re=251381]msmoneypenny[/re]: Je suis completement en accord.
Whoa Beau Biden’s there.
[re=251379]allyrat[/re]: That’s her inkwell to sign the actual documents that will commit Lindsay Graham to the homo club.
Parents for everyone!
So… next faux-SOTU, the President’s going to totally wear a crown, robe, and wield a scepter and say “My Parliament will send me a bill..”
[re=251287]Lemming Caution[/re]: Hah . . . no, one doesn’t drink, and the other barely does. This stuff’s here more for company.
It’s a tossup between J&B or Skyy lemon. Blended scotch, eh? Hmm. Never knew they made such a thing. We’re not familiar with it in my Most Elitist Baltimore neighborhood of Canton.
Well, here goes nothin . . .
Lindsay Graham (R-closet) has gas again.
Stop reading the program and watch the speech! Gosh. Barry is talking congress-people.
[re=251381]msmoneypenny[/re]: Attention!
don’t tell me to turn off the TV for the kids, Barry.
Now you’ve gone too far.
oh no, he didnt just say put away video games ITS ON
Turn off the TV? OK, sorry, kid you can’t watch the rest of the speech…
you guys really should have had “Responsibility” in the Obama Drinking game
The responsibility of getting the puppy! Where is the PUPPY, damn it?
Was nancy a cheerleader back in the 40s?
COMEDY!!1!
Barry the Jokester…make’s ‘em laugh!
[re=251369]jagorev[/re]: “Nancy being a white lady of a “certain age”, it is pretty safe to assume there’s vodka involved …” No, there are drugs to keep her out of the bathroom every five minutes involved. Dry mouth, it’s a bitch.
Hey, who was the last Preznit to cut the Deficit? Surely it was a Responsibility Republican, yes?!
Are they doing soccer, er football, chants now? WTF
Dude, we inherited $1.3 trillion!!!!
… oh, we owe that?
Dems in glee! Yeah, we INHERITED your mess, fuckers! Now stuff it.
“deficeit we inherited” oh snaaaaaaap
The word “recovery” is killing me.
[re=251367]imissopus[/re]:
Wow, McCain looks SO pissed that he’s not the one up there giving this speech.
Re: He still has helicopters flying around in his head. Hypocrite McShame’s wife is richer than God & Marine helicopters
*unplugs xbox*
Stupid President . . always telling me what to do . .
Oh, man, inherited debt–he is so playing to the Dems. This is so sweet. Now the Rs are booing. Fuck bi-partisanship. Barry’s getting shit done.
I’m loving this British House Of Commons vibe…
lol, the republicans just booed their own deficit.
ssshhhh….don’t mention that fiscal summit. Nobody came.
oh snap “with the deficit we inherited”
2 Trillion= 20 whore diamonds
[re=251364]bhosp[/re]: When the President says it, it’s not a crime.
[re=251400]wheelie[/re]: yes, and so does jacking off
Who’s the blind dude? Stevie?
That means you, Dick Halliburton Cheney
I wonder if McCain knows that all of his fickle voters are masturbating to Hopey’s words at MSNBC studio right now.
God the dems are loving this. That was some ridiculous cheering over inheriting the deficit.
Did MSNBC turn off the “red” line because they thought it might not stay PINNED to the top of the scale?
[re=251405]Daggoth[/re]: “HMG has determined that countless rewards may be reaped by the sale of our protectorate India.” Hey, it works for Barry too..
And, btw, there is totally a blind guy sitting in the same row as Lieberman. I mean, srsly, where do these people come from?
Eliminate no-bid contracts that have wasted billions in Iraq! Huzzah!
And with the savings we can have war crimes tribunals!
Ha ha I hope he’s leading up to putting Cheney in prison.
Suckit Canada
[re=251400]wheelie[/re]: It better.
BOOO! Iraq sux.
What are ‘seniors’, though? In high school, he means?
Biden isn’t clapping, trouble in paradise?
Did you hear that Jindel? Cantor? McShame? Now STFU!
Brillant, he get the consensus stab in.
Then slides the “deficit we inherited” in–smack down.
Barry FTW!
Repubs booing about inherited debt? Yes, gawd forbid they have any accountability AT ALL for the last eight years.
There should be a drink for each time the republicans and democrats take turns standing and clapping.
Damn, my taxes are going up, lol
I’d hate to be Piyush right now.
This is a tough act to follow.
Wait are we having the debates again?
I’ve “rooted out waste” before, that is a naaaaasty job. me no want.
Check is in the mail! Don’t turn off my cable, please!
Um…Did he say CHECKS? Can I pretend he means that literally?
During the campaign he said no tax increase for individuals making more than $250,000 per year. Now it’s families making that amount.
Prez is talkin’ to the Repugs like they are 2 year old kids. I’m schoolin’ ya, do you hear me? Yearrrrrrrgggghhh!
time to pander to the old people
Not putting the wars off budget is awesome.
So far, tomorrow’s headline on this speech: Nobody fucks with Joe.
Just fucking end the Iraq war. Announce it tonight.
McCain has twelve marshmellows in his cheek… AND he’s reenlisting.
“For seven years we have been a nation at war — no longer will we hide its price.”
Oh fuck yeah.
And getting out of Iraq. And defeat al-Qaida. This fuckin rocks.
This guy is actually pretty good. If all this crap comes true, he could serve a third term. I want him to put it to those stinkin’ Republicans every chance he gets. I think he ought to host more of those “let’s ask the President a question” sessions like yesterday that made McCain look crazy and Cantor look gay.
[re=251441]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I want to punish war criminals, too, but I feel like that’s asking a lot, such as the ghey issues. Crossed fingers tho.
Mccain hates ending wars. STOP TALKING OUT OF THE SIDE OF YOUR MOUTH, MCCAIN.
Pahkistan, yo.
McCain is applauding ending the Iraq war?! But ending wars is the opposite of everything he stands for!
McCain looks like hes ready to die like any second.
can somebody read lips enough to tell me what john mccain just muttered to whoever that old lady is on his right?
TALIBAN!
WALNUTS! close-up: “He’s getting new helicopters, did ya hear?”
[re=251405]Daggoth[/re]: “Have your people call my people. And send in my jester.”
I just figured out the secret! Hit pause on your TiVos while you visit the pissoir, then come back and resume. Suddenly, the liveblog and comments will really be live!
Has he mentioned Sully yet?
BOOOOOOO OUR TROOPS!!!
I would not want to be Bobby Jindal tonight.
Ha. Did John McCain just change his position on Iraq on national television? He sits there, not clapping for a few seconds with a contemplative expression, than stands up and starts clapping. Which is it John?
Not to be gay, but I kind of want to hold Michelle Obama’s military dudebro.
Oh, and I love how Barry pronounced Pakistan “pocky stahn,” just like my parents and relatives and stuff. (I’m of Indian descent. But I hate Piyush, so don’t be mad at me. He shames us all.)
Could you relieve the strain on MY forces, please?
Relief for vets. About fucking time!!1
BOO HEALTH CARE 4 TROOPS!!!
The super long applause for the soldiers is like a game of chicken: whoever stops clapping and sits down first is unpatriotic and hates the troops. Even Barry is rolling his eyes and trying to break it off.
ONE VISION, ONE PURPOSE
PEACE THROUGH POWER
KANE LIVES IN DEATH
damn, I missed it. Who was the military guy they were all clapping for? It wasn’t Biden’s kid.
lalalala lalalala Gitmo’s world…
Bobby Jindal is probably having his diaper changed right about now (I assume that’s a thing with all Louisiana Republicans?)
BOOOO NOT TORTURING!!! TORTURE OUR TROOPS!! BOOOOOO!!!
Prez should shut down Gitmo then put Shrubry & Cheney there.
If only the United States tortured Cheney.
We don’t torture? I didn’t get that memo.
I can hear the Republicans grumbling as they applaud Barry’s pledge to end torture.
[re=251474]Cookie Guggelman[/re]: Nope, Barry hates Sully and the gheys. But torture’s bad. Also.
Wait…you mean we won’t even torture BAD people?
Walnuts: no lapel flag. Huh???
John McCain falls into seizure/pees pants at word ‘torture’.
FUKKIN GOOKS, HENGGH!!1
“There is no force in the world more powerful than the example of America…because living our values does not make us weaker, it makes us stronger…that is why I can say that the United States of America does not torture.”
This is the big national shower I’ve been waiting for. Who’s with me?
John Kerry=Herman Munster?
“The United States of America does not torture.”
Cheney just threw a slipper at his teevee.
“Because living our values doesn’t make us weaker; it makes us safer and it makes us stronger… I can stand up here and unequivocally say, ‘The United States of America does. not. torture.’”
I LOVE THIS MAN.
Man, I bet libertarians are happy about the protectionism comment.
Is Barry wearing bangles? I keep hearing clanking on the CNN.
[re=251477]KristaJulieva[/re]: FLIP-FLOPPER
Jack Bauer sheds a single tear.
SULLY!!!!
[re=251471]teebob2000[/re]:
WALNUTS! close-up: “He’s getting new helicopters, did ya hear?”
Re:Prez should talk up his cool new Marine helicopters for 15 minutes just to P McShame off!
what’s the metal thing in front of Pelosi??? driving me crazy!
Hope!
Stripping agri-business of their tax subsidies would be sweet.
Shit, I’m going to have to record Leverage on the second run at 11:00.
Suuuuuuuuully!!!!1
ABESS UNIT!!
/said in style of G-Unit
Oh, here comes the “Jerry Smith was a turd farmer who won the lottery…” pieces of the speech.
inordinary Americans=mutant race=X-Men?
To the douchenozzle ad:
No, I do not regret voting for President Obama.
Muchas grassyass for your question.
Sincerely,
thatonegirlsays America does not torture!
Suck on that Santelli! A banker that is not a fucking douchenozzle! haha.
Good vs ‘ill’?
Looks like the religious wingnutz are out for the next 4 yrs. Hurray!
Aw, jeeeez, do we have to do the Ronnie trick of the personal story?
[re=251500]teebob2000[/re]: He rammed his teevee with his power chair.
I wish I worked for that Miami bank guy.
Hey, that was one inspirational story that I didn’t pay attention to. That one guy did what, now?
[re=251476]SayItWithWookies[/re]: What night [i]would[/i] you want to be that guy?
I WANT THAT GUYS MONEY!! NOWW!!! BOOO!!!
[re=251493]obfuscator[/re]: Yes, because they don’t think repeatedly making someone feel like they’re suffocating is “torture”. Or tying them into positions so that their joints dislocate.
I’m trying to think about people I’ve known since I was 7-years-old.
That bank guy is FUCKING NUTZ!!
Dunno why MSNBC’s bothering with these voter red/blue line thingies. It’s just one single line pinned to the top of the window thingie. This isn’t striking me as very scientifical.
Introducing….Hopey’s People Of America. Yearrrrrgggggggghhhhhh!
HA HA HA “Kentuc-” err, I mean “TEXAS”!!!
because to Obama, and the rest of “real American”, really they’re all the damn same
Texas, Kansas, sounds the same…
OK… the Bank dude — that was a decent thing to do.
Jumping in a little late but here’s what I’ve taken from this so far: 1). Obama’s going to cure cancer – not sure if he will do it in first term or second term, but Ruth BG looks nervous. 2). It’s now unpatriotic to drop out of high school. 3). Some generous business guy who gave away a bunch of money to his workers is now going to get the SH*T taxed out of him to make damn sure it never happens again.
[re=251508]urrrca: what’s the metal thing in front of Pelosi??? driving me crazy![/re]
Giant ceremonial inkwell.
[re=251368]viciouslies[/re]: It’s either that, or that boil on her ass hurts like hell. I am so down with seeing Barry doing the non SOTU speech that I am about to wet myself, but she’s hopping up and down like a meth-addled jackrabbit. STF down, Nancy.
[re=251498]SayItWithWookies[/re]: We are soooo lucky that screwball from AZ did NOT win the election. I mean, so lucky.
What the fuck is a library? He made this up.
[re=251498]SayItWithWookies[/re]: boooya
[re=251508]urrrca[/re]: i know my friend thinks its “the souls of men she has sucked dry”
Boy, I’d fuck Michelle!!!11
OK, now we need to wrap up. And the poor girl feels like crying.
BOOO NOT QUITTING!!!! QUIT EVERYTHING!! BURN AMERICA!!
I love that little girl.
Where are Sasha and Maiia?
ty’sheoma. i’d hit it.
Now that this is a ‘crate-n-barrel (let’s talk about all the issues) speech,
here comes Katrina reference in 3..2..1
America doesn’t torture. Other than American Idol that is.
Aaw, that Bethea girl has the cutest page-boy haircut.
Where are the Jonas Brothers?
Michelle Obama is a classy broad.
Michelle’s like, CMON, little girl, move, smile, do something!
“We are not quitters.” Nobody who’s black and has lived in South Carolina can possibly be a quitter.
nobody clapped for the town that was destroyed.
sad.
Oh, and one other thing, a bit late in the chronology, also: Did Wolf Blitzer’s attempt to fill dead air in the 2 minutes before the speech sound like a half-bright high school civic’s teacher’s attempt to explain something that most high school civics teachers don’t understand? You know, like what the three branches do? Christ.
Are you blogging Bobby Jindal’s “I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I” speech?
Thus far… um, like the stim bill none of those mfuckers voted for??
“wants it to succeed’? not Rush!
Does Kerry take his Botox dr. on the plane with him when he travels?
“I know that every American sitting here tonight loves this country and wants it to succeed.”
That’s because Rush is elsewhere.
The Republicans giggled like little girls at the “we haven’t agreed on every issue” line. Sounds like they’re in loooove
[re=251541]JeffGoldblum[/re]: I don’t usually talk to celebrities, but everything you are saying has killed me. The Lost World is underrated, bro.
OH MAN WHAT IF THERE WAS A 9/11 RIGHT NOW!! HERO!! BEST PREZZNIT EVAR!!!
I AM IN THE TANK FOR THE HOPEMISTER…I’m CRYING and LAUGHING at the same time!!!
Whew, he did it. It was great.
“what’s the metal thing in front of Pelosi??”
Opera glasses?
about time
he said every American *sitting*. he’s standing! terrorist.
Is anyone else watching MSNBC’s audience reaction thingie? the mccain voters haven’t dipped below 90%, Keith and Rach must be standing over them saying don’t fuck this up…
[re=251531]Janetgia[/re]: Why would he get the shit taxed out of him if he has no money left?
whats god got to do with this ? I wish he’d knock that shit off.
“10:02 PM — Hmm, contemplate this: Joe Biden, who says nothing, gets a glass of water, while our brave President gets no water at all.”
Barry just snaps his finger and Joe has to run it around the down the stairs to his podium.
Barry pours lighter fluid into the piano and sets fire to it. Follow that, Bobby Jindal.
Quitters never win. Winners never quit. Thank you, thank you and g’nite.
Jindal’s response: the Muslin’s gonna take your guns, your doctor, and your petrol
It was inspiring without being pandering or condescending; it was a long list of policy issues without being boring. That was great.
No Barry! That’s the Republican side of the chamber!
are they trying to start a chant
They cabinet will now be hitting up Applebees.
[re=251486]msmoneypenny[/re]:
Gitmo Happy!!!
http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=38210
[re=251572]WadISay[/re]: i see what you did there
So, no war crimes trials starting tomorrow morning? : – (
Who else succesfully completed the wonkette drinking game? I am O+ if anyone is looking to unload a liver.
Jim has a new liveblog.
[re=251589]Nerdalicious[/re]: crayons for everyone!
[re=251296]bitchincamaro[/re]: Oooh. Good call…
[re=251569]AxmxZ[/re]: because he earned the $30 mill, and will be taxed on it. it doesn’t matter what you do with it after, UNLESS you (1) lose it all in the market or (2) give it to a tax accredited charity. which all those bank employees are NOT
[re=251580]Colander[/re]: THE CABINET. The drinking game works, y’all.
Chris Matthews has NO IDEA why people from all over are mad at the wealthy nowadays instead of the immigrants. No idea!
That thing in front of Pelosi is a sand shaker to blot signatures
Not sure if anyone’s mentioned it, but what the hell was up with that ‘the country that invented the automobile will not abandon it’? It was invented by a German. Who cares about their auto industry?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Automobile
I feel like I’m being read a bedtime story by Forrest Gump. Is this how Bobby Jindal has always sounded?
He is Kenneth from 30 Rock.
You know, Bobby, tellin’ a story ’bout hows the gubment sucked during Katrina is not actually helping your cause. Way to remind ppl of ‘publican failures.
And HEY asshole, I live on the base of a fucking volcano. Monitor those suckers, or else shut down the hurricane monitoring system, for fairness.
This after-speech speech is usually thankless. The cable news people act like it’s a big deal but really–we had Kaine, Sibelius, now the Rs have Jindal.
That said, is it just me, or is Jindal creepy? I mean, I hate Republicans but this guy is killing my ears and I don’t think it’s just bias. He looks like a weasel, doesn’t he?
[re=251261]Cicada[/re]: Bush explained things, but he explained things that EVERYONE over the age of 8 already knew, and explained them badly.
Americans can do anything.
Well, I can think of at least one American who can’t give a decent or intelligent response to a presidential address, and his name is Bobby (well, not really).
Did something happen on September 11, 2001?
[re=251778]DustBowlBlues[/re]: yup, i concur. Jindal gave a republican HS debate club speech.
[re=251340]jagorev[/re]: technically what Americans invented was the assembly line, which made mass production of automobiles for the common man possible. Librarian crawls back into her hole now…
Biden is Hopey’s Ed McMahon!
Ryan Adams and Mandy Moore are engaged?! Really… you don’t say…
[re=251645]itgetter[/re]: i was listening to him in the car and i thought the same thing.. Who was Jindal talking too? does he think we’re all retarded 5th graders?
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