Wonkette
ANNOUNCEMENT OF INTENT TO LIVEBLOG: Join us at 8:30 p.m. Eastern Time as we begin a long evening of liveblogging Barack Obama’s special money speech to Congress, and Little Bobby Jindal’s special response (Jindal is a minority, too!), and all the usual jabbering dildos on the cable news. REMEMBER TO STOP AT THE LIQUOR STORE AND SPEND ALL YOU HAVE, ON THE LIQUOR. [Tonight's Drinking Game]
I’m still upset this nonsense is bumping American Idol (don’t judge me).
Smooth Barry moves there. I hope he starts the speech with a little shuffle.
Hedley Lamar: Well, I know he’ll be entering the building as “Thriller” plays over the PA, so I’d say there might be some dancing.
I think this is a sign to cancel my date. Who schedules a date on THE GREATEST DRINKING OPPORTUNITY NIGHT OF THE YEAR?
I love the dancing Hopey!!! OMG! I’m feeling all “eric cantor” like inside!
Animated gif = win
tunamelt: Actually who schedules a date for Tuesday night, anyway? I know I’m old, but is that how the young folks are doing it these days?
In my day, a middle of the week date meant the guy was married. Just saying…
SOTU + minority response = death by cringing
AllHat: It needs musical background.
i will not wait up until 2 in the morning to watch this. i will have to get a fifth of whisky and drink it for breakfast while i read the live blog. thanks a lot time differences!
Texan Bulldoggette: Or he is “underemployed.”
tunamelt: No this is your chance to TEST him.
I don’t think I can stomach a GOP response. Not tonight. *swills beer*
…Ken, I haven’t had money to “buy” actual liquor since October! Instead I have turned to drinking a combination bathtub brewed moonshine and Listerine.
tunamelt: Oops, didn’t think of that–in my day most of people had jobs. (PS: try to find someone with a job & a nice car. Or that’s what my mom used to tell me.)
jabbering dildos
Are they still selling these at Spencer’s Gifts? I’ve got an anniversary coming up.
Ken Layne: I am so glad I have all this bathtub gin, meth and turpentine stocked up.
I don’t know why the connected 48 States don’t march up to Alaska and take all that oil they have. We should invade them, occupy them, give them chocolates and television, and reboot the economy, dag nab it with all that Wassilly black gold. That’s what I’d love for Hopey to say tonight, in a pair of mukluks and and a nice parka as he stands in front of his $11 billion helicopter.
BTW, did I tell you folks I actually appeared (if that’s the right word) on the JOHN GIBSON FOX RADIO SHOW? True. He asked me about the eBaying prostitute Natalie (not her real name) and what the French might make of it.
It’s going to be fine. Everything is going to be okay. We will have a few nickels left in the 401(k). Bernanke said today that there was a “reasonable chance” the recession would end this year.
A reasonable chance, did you hear him? There’s also a “reasonable chance” that the Earth will leave its orbit and plunge headlong into ol’ Sol, ending life as we know it, and even as we don’t know it. So don’t be dismayed! Keep hope alive!
Sully!!!
Ken Layne:yeas, the process of ‘culling’. tunamelt, take heed!
Let ‘em eat waffles, Mr. President. The GOOP will have a tough time giving a credible response with their collective cock holsters covered in Vermont’s finest.
MISTAHCOUGHDROP: “He asked me about the eBaying prostitute Natalie (not her real name) and what the French might make of it.?
Is that because you’re French, in France, or was it just a bizarrely random question?
Has this been mentioned yet today:
There was a scene in “United States Of Tara” last night that actually had a pair ofTruck Nutz!
And the ugly fat guy….er, landscaping co-worker….sat down on the bumper and they showed the ‘money shot’!
That gif needs to be featured prominently and daily.
I am slightly disturbed that I am looking forward to this more than the Superbowl.
Servo: I just put on Hardball and listened to some blowhard talk about how the poor people are to blame for the housing crisis and FDR is to blame for the Depression and with only an hour and a half to go, I’ve already started drinking.
Hooray For Anything: That was douchnozzle Sen. Ensign of Nevada (also bitching about mass transit rail system). Anything for the poor people who can’t afford Lexus & BMWs, bad & porky!
Howard Dean is on now. Not sure what Barry’s problem is with the good Doc., but he would be a great HHS Secretary.
Cicada: Depends on your gender & your region. I live in Austin & could have cared less about the Superbowl (Pittsburgh & AZ Cardinals–who cares!).
Hooray For Anything: “Some” Blowhard? That’s what Glenn Beck talks about every fucking day. Its beyond a mantra, its a liturgy for Cuntservatives.
i just saw some turd on Politico declaiming how this was the make or break moment for our President. Ken, saying that they “suck so much ass” hardly begins to describe it.
POLITICO SUCKS MAXIMUM ASS.
You just two them ‘publicans are eager to show they got their own Hopey in Jindal. Of course, since he’s a ‘publican, first they have to prove he didn’t catch teh gay from Larry Craig, he’s never molested any children and he knows to walk three paces behind the white men.
Just call him Bobby Anti-hopey.
I will be comfortably numb by the time the Prez gives his speech.
Stimulate me, President Hopey!
Hooray For Anything: The poor should be happy to live in their tenement apartments and work 18 hours a day in the sweatshops. Dang, but Amurrica was fun then!
Um, have we totally missed the Bobby Jindal - Fat Tuesday tie-in? If Jindal throws beads I will break a bottle of night train over my head. And you know, he better be throwin’ beads, cos no stimulus for you mothereffer!!!
Texan Bulldoggette: Hmmm…well I live in D.C. now (by way of California) and I don’t have testicles, so you may be right there.
I’m deciding whether I should play fair and follow the rules of this drinking game, to the extent that the particular direction is feasible. Is anybody gonna actually do it?
anyone else hear biggie small’s “hypnotize” in their head when they see that Obama animation?
Regarding the gif: Why is it that when Barry does something truly dorky I want to jump his bones, but when any other middle aged man does the same thing I want to hit him with a shovel?
Colander: I’m playing with wine, for realz. I don’t keep liquor in the house because I am classy like that. Also.
Get your swirl on, Barry!!
What the fuck is Barry doing?
That gif is soooooo hot, which is a statement I usually reserve for Myspace. I’m going to end up throwing my panties at the TV tonight.
Apparently, Hopey has caused quite a stir with the high-speed rail issue. People ( fence-sitters included ) have really jumped on this, except, of course, the GOOP.
I just realized that thanks to the magic of time zones, I can in fact participate in this. I am considering a late run to the liquor store down the street for a 40 of cheap malt liquor.
itgetter:
Lemme guess…zin!
Being a single blue lady trapped in a red state, I feel like Tunamelt is throwing the big date in my face. Do y’all know how bossy (and fat) dudes are in states? Not even hate fuckable.
I wondered why there were no good shows on tonight. “Local Programming.”
Being an easterner recently moved west, it’s taken me a little while to figure out evening sporting events and political speeches mean that we watch Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune during prime time.
The guy at the liquor store just tried to overcharge me by 20 dollars. I was not pleased. This is my economic report for the day.
Swampwitch: Use the internet, yo. What’s the straight girl version of Manhunt-dot-com?
Colander: Is Earth, Wind and Fire still in town? Maybe the music could be live … funk in the Halls of Congress, I should live so long!
BTW, there’s not enough liquor in the world to make me listen to Little Bobby Jindal.
OffTheRecord: Friends, that’s why you cut a bitch.
That’s the red state problem, the straight men are socialized to boss around the little wimmins and get fat at 25.
They cry when I outdrink them. Also.
Swampwitch: Dude. I actually really don’t want to go. Remember that in blue states, your options become boys wearing smaller pants than you with MoveOn dot Org stickers and fixed gear road bikes and OHMIGOD, blue states lose.
Swampwitch: Well, that’s what happens when you’re 23.
Servo: An extremely cheap table wine called “Red Zeppelin” which, according to the label, should be enjoyed with “Wings, pizza, and mozzarella sticks.” CLASS, my friends.
I am driving home in LA traffic. I am saving my drinking for the Bobby “Hoossane” Jindal response. Therefore. If I make it home by then. Also. How about a shot of tequila and three hail Marys when he says that he is not taking the spendulous money.
This is my economic report of the day: Bernanke said, “No one understands double-cycle billing,” and I thought he’d said, “No one understands Double-Psycho Billy.”
Well, no one does!
Swampwitch: Sorry, but, as far as straight men go, that’s the blue state problem as well. Might want to become a gay man.
Jukesgrrl: No, but maybe Bobby Brown will perform “My Prerogative” while escorting Barry to the microphone. If Steele is in around, I know he’ll mash potato to that shit.
I feel you on that. The last time I visited my brother in SF the guy in front of me at the coffee bodega had on skinny, skinny hipster jeans and was wearing Keds. KEDS. Girls sneakers. How is that sexy?
His girlfriend was hanging on for dear life, as he was so skinny he might have blown away.
Choices are bad all over, I guess. Good thing sweet, sweet alchohol is there for us.
This better be good. That’s all I gotta say. He better announce he’s getting this thing under control. He’s had five weeks. Get to it!
Swampwitch: As a blue lady in a very red (and crazy) state I can say I literally swooned today when one of my officemates was talking about how much he hated the republicans. This is someone I had never found attractive before in my life. But he is apparently a liberal so I think I might marry him. They are so hard to find when you live among the crazy people.
MISTAHCOUGHDROP: That’s what I’M saying. Why do those motherfuckers in Alaska get a check every year from the oil companies, and not the rest of us? What part of NATIONAL resources do we not understand?
I’ve got my Aquavit on ice & at hand, as I toast Our New Socialist Muslin Overlord, his Hopeyness O’bama (the Sword of Islam)…. as for out Bitter Trolls, should they attend to drown their epic FAIL with Hateraide or Brawndo the Thirst Mutilator?
Capitol Hillbilly: Geez, Barry’s been Preznit for a whole 34 days. At this rate Politico will call him a one-term President in only two more weeks.
OffTheRecord: Work is the worst. The lab Paultard gave a yet another speech today that the Fed is responsible for the crisis. I have had to listen to the libertarian claptrap nonstop since November 4th. One of them let the SPCA kill their dog to prove that they wouldn’t pay taxes. TAXES ARE ILLEGAL!
Filthy Jindal Jackal!
A reason to drink? What a novel idea.
You think maybe the Repubs will toss their lapel pins into the bowl to see which pages pair off with which Repubs later this evening?
Keep Michele Bachman away from Barry, or he might catch teh Stupid.
Swampwitch: I had a paultard last year. I wanted to hurt him, but I am pretty sure he would have at least paid taxes to save his dog. This year I have someone who loves Jesus an excessive amount and the liberal.
itgetter:
If I may, I recommend Rancho Zabaco’s ‘Dancing Bull’. Like a pair of comfy, worn-out jeans.
OffTheRecord:
You just explained the “Oh, thank God you’re here” look I seem to get from a lot of the women here in Cretinstan. I guess I really stand out because I don’t have a stained NASCAR shirt, smell like piss/gasoline/vinegar, and walk erect.
OffTheRecord: Is the liberal single? Marriage means you have someone to drink with all the time, right? And for the sexing.
WTF …. all liquor is gone ….. I guess everybody is expecting to hear the fat lady to sign again !!!
JACK …. I need one more !!!
Pelosi looks like she’s ready to pounce, like that chimp on Xanax