NARCOLEPTICS  10:43 am February 24, 2009

Snoozy Larry Summers Crashes World Markets

by Sara K. Smith

Bring me more baby heads, for eatin'!Larry Summers, one of Barack Obama’s chief money trolls, made a splash at yesterday’s “fiscal responsibility summit” by falling asleep, publicly, in front of everyone. Maybe he was drunk? Or tired, from pulling so many all-nighters in light of the recent and complete collapse of the world economy? Or: the thermostat was too high, which is always a killer in crowded conference rooms. At any rate, we’ll know who to blame when the Dow plunges another 700 points and the US Treasury goes bankrupt. [Financial Times]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 32 comments }

Norbert February 24, 2009 at 10:48 am

Maybe he had been listening to a woman trying to do science?

AngryBlakGuy February 24, 2009 at 10:49 am

…I’m sorry if our economic Armageddon bores you!

DoctorCulturae February 24, 2009 at 10:52 am

Oy vey. Non-issue. Surprise-surprise: older, overweight guy falls asleep after multiple all-nighters and heavy dose of jet lag.

This ranks up there with “When Jennifer speaks director cuts to reaction shot of Angelina.” Oh the shock. Oh the horror. Oh teh neurotic anxiety.

frumious_bandersnatch February 24, 2009 at 10:56 am

It’s his girl-allergy. He knew there’d be women there reciting numbery things, and he overdid it on the sudafed.

hobospacejungle February 24, 2009 at 10:57 am

This fat, sleeping fuck was partly responsible for the mess we’re in. The least he can do is pay attention in class when Professor Barry is metaphorically grabbing Eric Cantor’s nutsack until he causes a nightly emission. It’s becoming obvious that the main problem Summers & Geithner are wrestling with is how not to wipe out the shareholders of the major banks (and AIG.) Good thing they have their priorities straight. Is it too early to give these two the Mussolini treatmeant? I say no.

Serolf Divad February 24, 2009 at 11:01 am

From the article:

John McCain, the former presidential candidate, recommended Mr Obama get rid of his planned new presidential helicopter, the cost of which now equals that of Air Force One. Mr Obama said the existing chopper was adequate, but added that he had no experience of personal helicopters.”

Read the above, folks and compare it to this. That’s what life would be like in David Denby’s dystopian, nightmarish, too-horrible-to-contemplate “world without snark.”

norbizness February 24, 2009 at 11:01 am

Does he sweat while eating?

AngryBlakGuy February 24, 2009 at 11:01 am

…they should have dipped his hand in a bucket of warm water.

slithytoves February 24, 2009 at 11:06 am

Hi-thermostat…hmmm…were they playing opera, as well? Had he just completed the first 24 hours of hell week?

DustBowlBlues February 24, 2009 at 11:07 am

Economics is really boring.

hobospacejungle February 24, 2009 at 11:08 am

[re=250153]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: they should’ve dipped his fat ass in a bucket of warm shit.

Bowdoin February 24, 2009 at 11:08 am

Maybe men are genetically indisposed for staying awake on the job?

Iconoclasto February 24, 2009 at 11:10 am

Larry was just doing his hilarious Clarence Thomas impression.

Delicious February 24, 2009 at 11:10 am

[re=250136]Norbert[/re]: womenz trying todo Teh Sciences

masterdebater February 24, 2009 at 11:15 am

Look, so he was up all night drinking because his 401K just went in the toilet…he’s just like us! You know, the ones that can afford a 401K…or any savings at all…hard working Americans.

sati demise February 24, 2009 at 11:17 am

[re=250147]hobospacejungle[/re]: agreed.
Get rid of those two over conflict of interest and hire Stieglits and Roubini.

Paterlanger February 24, 2009 at 11:24 am

If the market tanks and the Treasury goes bust it won’t be Summers’ work. It will all be part of Tim “Tora! Tora! Tora!” Geithner’s evil plot to destroy the economy on behalf of his eastern overlords. Didn’t catch the exclusive expose’ on Fox and Friends this morning? Geithner drives an Acura, people!!! His title is Treasury Secretary but obviously he is secretly the Commerce Secretary…of Japan!!!

V572625694 February 24, 2009 at 11:25 am

[re=250171]sati demise[/re]: Dr Doom will save us!

Min February 24, 2009 at 11:25 am

He couldn’t help himself. All those sanctimonious Republicans sucked the oxygen out of the room.

Sussemilch February 24, 2009 at 11:39 am

[re=250171]sati demise[/re]: Volcker. He will thunder in with a shoulder full of hobbits and BAHRUMMMM stomp a giant mossy foot all over the market. Evildoers shudder!

condour75 February 24, 2009 at 11:40 am

This guy had better be a fucking genius, Obama. Because the optics of this pick, aside from requiring a wide angle lens, are pretty horrid.

rmontcal February 24, 2009 at 11:40 am

I think teh Wonketz accidentally used a picture of Larry Flynn with this post.

PerhapsSo February 24, 2009 at 11:43 am

If it is good enough for Justice Thomas, it is good enough for the chief money troll.

CorkPopper February 24, 2009 at 12:10 pm

If he were Japanese he would have to resign now. Although if he had to perform a deep bow I’m pretty sure he’d fall over and not be able to get back up.

Cappy February 24, 2009 at 12:11 pm

I know from first-hand experience that this is not remotely uncommon for Mr. Summers. The more important the people in the room, the more likely he is to doze off. And he is a fucking genius, hence he can do all this incredibly ridiculous shit and still be asked to do what he does.

Aurelio February 24, 2009 at 12:29 pm

How come there is always a job for assholes like Larry Summers? No matter how much they screw up, they are always put in charge of something. Is this one of God’s Little Jokes?

glamourdammerung February 24, 2009 at 12:34 pm

[re=250153]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: They should have urinated on him, then after he woke up and noticed, told him he did it on himself.

norbizness February 24, 2009 at 12:35 pm

[re=250277]Aurelio[/re]: “Little”?

populucious February 24, 2009 at 1:01 pm

I believe he was actually contemplating his own epistemological modesty.

AxmxZ February 24, 2009 at 2:02 pm

[re=250208]Sussemilch[/re]: Volcker is the shit, but Roubini is rather a one trick pony.

acilius February 24, 2009 at 2:49 pm

Summers is a really weird guy. As president of Harvard he made a habit of calling professors into his office and giving them lectures about their own fields of expertise. His famous episode at the women in science symposium was an extreme form of that. That’s such a strange thing to do that it made me wonder if he didn’t have a brain tumor or something. If he did have a brain tumor that was causing him to behave strangely several years ago and hasn’t undergone any treatment for it since, then it would make sense that he would be having difficulty remaining conscious now.

BadDayInProgress February 24, 2009 at 2:58 pm

Did he drool?

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: