Wonkette
John Conyers recently issued a subpeona requiring Karl Rove to appear before the House Judiciary Committee to talk about that whole attorney-firing scandal thing, and of course Karl Rove did not show up because what is he, a private citizen who is subject to the nation’s laws?
Of course not. He is an evil, hairy-eared lawn sprite who answers to no god but Pan. And George Bush.
Conyers and others have been trying to get Rove and Harriet Miers to testify for oh TWO YEARS now on a wide variety of topics, but had little success in the old administration even though a District Judge issued a ruling saying the administration’s assertion of executive privilege was bunkum w/r/t Harriet Miers.
The new administration may have other ideas, but they haven’t really said anything about it yet. They are probably just waiting for Rove to return to his burrow under the rose bush so that they can be rid of him forever.
(Meaning: Obama may not want to rock the boat with the former president by letting Conyers et al haul former Bush lieutenants by the scruff of the neck before the House; on the other hand, maybe this is exactly what Obama wants and he just needs a few more weeks to focus on the whole “save the entire world from starvation and collapse” thing before he turns to revenge on his predecessor’s henchmen.)
One enduring fact remains, which is that Karl Rove is a douche who does not answer to subpeonas from mortals.
Obama seeks delay in deciding on Rove subpoena [Miami Herald]
Quelle Surprise: Rove A No-Show, Again, For US Attorneys Testimony [TPMMuckraker]
Now if they had pretended they were inviting him to feast on the flesh of HuffPo contributors, he might have showed.
Executive privilege! Oh, wait…
I want to see the episode of Dog the Bounty Hunter where a half-naked Karl Rove with a towel around his waist and shampoo still in his spiky hair gets dragged out of his half-cousin’s double-wide and thrown into the back of a big black SUV.
I believe the correct phrase is “evil henchmen”.
Wait until he’s at lunch at some pawntsy country club then storm it with troops with assault rifles, bind and straightjacket and hood him and slap a big GITMO on his chest and hoist him away by helicopter.
My lawyer friend says you can only force Rove to testify if you can first trick him into saying his name backwards.
OK if he wants to do this the hard way, somebody plant pot in his glove compartment and knock out one of his tail lights.
Sussemilch: Better yet, have the ATF shock troops drag his fat weepy ass out of some Cuban’s closet in Miami.
Elian: The Sequel! Starring, Eric Holder as Janet Reno, Raul Castro as Fidel Castro, etc., and cetera.
Now just hold on there a doggone minute. Why is this Barry’s call? Can’t Harry and Nancy do ANYTHING?
Pan would laugh at the fat little bugger and then have me torn apart by the Maenad.
gurukalehuru: No, no they cannot. Have you not paid attention to the past three years?
MarieDeGournay: have ‘him’ torn apart. Ugh, needs more coffee and better eyes.
If there’s any chance to delay any process or procedure, Republicans will take it. I give you: The Norm Coleman Election Challenge!
Maybe Obama just needs to sweeten the deal and have McCain pick up Rove with a military helicopter, offering a free ride. Then while they are posing on the tarmac for photo ops, Obama pushes the “Vic Morrow” button…
He is an evil, hairy-eared lawn sprite who answers to no god but Pan
“Panic” is so named because Pan supposedly enjoyed terrifying people. This goes a long way towards explaining that “weapons of mass destruction” hoax.
New reality TV show: The Most Dangerous Game
First Contestant/The Quarry: Karl Rove
The Hunters: The American People
The Objective: Bring him back in as many pieces as possible.
PsycGirl: Following up on Marie DG’s notion, instead of a truth commission, hearings, or trials, can we haz a national holiday that celebrates Mr. Rove with piñatas?
Miguel Tejada is prosecuted while this mole rat remains free. It is just not fair.
Serolf Divad: Or maybe a “Cops” episode where they pick up Rove wearing a dirty T-shirt and sweat pants smoking crack with his ex-wife’s sister.
what are these “subpeonies” of which you speak… some kind of pretty flower?
…I’m(not so) secretly wishing for a Branch Dravidians style show down!
OOoooo….Karl is going to get such a sternly worded letter…his mom will be so disappointed.
And I’d like to voice my objections to the insinuation that Dubya is a god. He’s an assistant sub-demon at best.
gurukalehuru: Maybe Barry can sit down with Harry and Nancy and spell it out to them. “Look, America already views you as spiteful partisan hacks, while I float above it all. Those are your roles. You’ve been cast. Start acting.”
Quick–I need some runny mascara and a bedsheet. Or did somebody already make LEAVE KARL ROVE ALONE?
Throw him in a cell with a cellmate named “Psycho”, who has been palming his meds since he got out of maximum security solitary.
When Rove returns to his burrow under the rose bush, all they need to do is have a shovel ready. Then two choices..brain him with the shovel when he pops his head out or bury him. It is the only way to get rid of varmints unless you have a good dog.
As a parent, I have to say to Congress, don’t make orders if you’re not going to enforce them! If he doesn’t want to follow directions, he gets a timeout.
I’m sure the new administration will force him to testify. After all, we are in the new era. No more politics as usual. Yes we can. It’s our turn now…maybe…well let’s not rush things…it’s complicated…let’s leave the past behind…
What an unrepentant asshole.
WadISay: is the palming of meds so that Psycho can carry out maximal damage, or so that Psycho can shove a month’s worth of psychoactive medication up his ass?
paolaccio: You say subpoena, I say subpeona, let’s call the whole thing off.
Sussemilch: Will Barry be at the bar of said country club with a beautiful date, holding a martini and a cigarette and standing against the wall making snide comments about everyone who passes by when this happens?
Apparently the entire system of justice in this country can be thwarted by putting your fingers in your ears and chanting “I can’t hear you”. Why couldn’t our forefathers have foreseen the problems posed by trying to prosecute a massive douche?
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
Rove is implementing the Kenneth Lay strategy; stall, stall, stall, then die of a massive heart attack without spending a day in prison.
I wish him luck.
All they need is box propped up with a stick that is tied to string. Place an untainted copy of the constitution under the box and wait.
They need to hire Dog the Bounty Hunter to track old Karl’s ass down and bring him in for booking.
snideinplainsight: Amen! When are the Democrats going to figure out that bush ain’t the preznit no more?
It would be just terrific if the subpoena was delivered by law enforcement Elian Gonzales style. Cops with machine guns through the door at 3 AM, throw Rove to the floor, hogtie him, and drag him across the ground to a waiting paddy wagon. Pure speed and maximum violence. Please, please let him resist arrest so the billy clubs can get used.
Part of me says, move on, leave the Bushies to slither in the craphole of history. And another part of me won’t rest until a gallows-style public humiliation event is staged, where every private citizen gets to take a shot (ahem… verbally) at the lot of them. Rove would bat cleanup.
If Paddy Fitzgerald couldn’t circumcise the prick, Bull Conyers doesn’t stand a chance. I say forget it about it Jake, it’s only Chinatown.
Ha Ha, Congress can’t bust someone they can only ask the executive branch to do it, that’s called checks and balances. Guess ‘Bama is busy. Of course the executive branch can bust someone without the anyone’s permission as POTUS’ Jackson (trail of tears) and Bush II (using the Capital Hill Police to toss Rep. Cynthia McKinney twice) showed. Not sure which is worse ethnic cleansing, or assaulting the person of a US Representative. Ha Ha a constitutional crisis for Barack-O already.
My completely ignorant opine: I suggest the congress make Rove pick up any pension payments and health insurance cards and whatever else they can get away with in person from Rep. Conyers office, until he testifies. Ha Ha, that would be fun.
Serolf Divad: Your suggestion is the most appropriate as Dog is the perfect embodiment of the Rovian base that voted George Bush back into office in 2004. Remember that at the end of each episode Dog is always shown inside the SUV, driving the hapless wretch to the police station and blathering on about how he, too, was a lost soul on the way to prison and perdition until he got JAY-zus into his life. Rove’s reactions at this point will be, I’m sure, Oscar-worthy.
How come they can’t catch this fat, pillow body bitch? Who did he let put a thumb up his ass on camera? Did anyone look up his chapter on “How to commit crimes in plain sight” from the Rove handbook? Was there a chapter on the many ways to tell justice to fuck off?
In honor of Karl Rove’s defiant stand, I’m not going to pay my parking ticket and if the DPT comes to tow my car away, I’ll just came executive privilege and tell them to see Karl.
Ugh, does Congress not contain even a single spine? Why should a private citizen’s failure to appear despite a supeona concern Barry at all? People who ignore supeonas are brought in all the time by the police without any recourse to the president. Yeah, the federales technically work for him but, absent a directive to the contrary, they should perform their designated functions without his permisssion. Send the marshals to drag Karl’s jiggly ass in to the Capitol.
Miller: They did. In fact, they offered the solution in 3 little words:
1) You
2) Ess
3) Marshals - Judiciary Branch, y’all!
Snag ‘im, bag ‘im, tag ‘in, then deliver his soft, pink-marshmallowy ass to the newly reopened (but otherwise uncleaned) Jail in the bowels of the Capitol Building!
Bearbloke: Matt Dillon gets to arrest Karl? Do they take video of the tasering?
Serolf Divad: Personally, I’m hoping for a Taserin’ as well.
Can you imagine having to fuck that rancid, moldy marshmallow? Eeeeuuuu!
Conyers give it up.
The fact is that YOU
look foolish, not
the Michelin Man.
You didn’t have the balls
to send the Capitol Police
for his fat ass when he
had power, and now that
he is irrelevant, you look
like a weak, feckless, old
hack who has been in Congress
too long.
Perhaps because you ARE a weak,
feckless old hack ….
What an unrepentant asshole. The tragedy..
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