• May 25, 2012
STARBURSTS

February 23, 2009

Eric Cantor Gets Boner When Obama Talks To Him

by Ken Layne  


Here’s your Loyal Opposition, Republican Eric Cantor, just gushing when Obama sort of says, “What is up, Eric.” So, GOP, blushing baby Cantor is your pick to go to WAR with Barack Obama? Jesus fucking christ, maybe next time send somebody who doesn’t swoon when Mr. President looks his way. [YouTube]

{ 56 comments }

Godot February 23, 2009 at 6:42 pm

Double entendre on both “stimulus” and “package”.

danadevin85 February 23, 2009 at 6:42 pm

aaaawwww that is sweet

Aquannissiwamissoo February 23, 2009 at 6:45 pm

That’s clever PUMA code for, “I wiped a booger on that podium right next to your failing, illegitimate, Stalinist Kenyan hand.”

Lascauxcaveman February 23, 2009 at 6:46 pm

Eric Cantor is so gay for Obama.

Aw, what the hell am I saying? “Gay for Obama?” He’s just plain gay.

AngryBlakGuy February 23, 2009 at 6:50 pm

…was he on his knees?

Chi-town_Vinny February 23, 2009 at 6:51 pm

As we say on the southside, what a fucking jagoff.

Monsieur Grumpe February 23, 2009 at 6:52 pm

What color are his knee pads?

Bruno February 23, 2009 at 6:55 pm

Do we all have a new Republican Boyfriend? Is he from real Virginia or the other part?

I was seriously waiting for the …BUT… before he finished talking.

Like when you give some one a performance review: “you have a lot of strong points, XXX, YYY, ZZZ BUT you are lazy, stupid and generally suck.”

Cicada February 23, 2009 at 6:56 pm

Barry can charm the feathers off a chicken.

Neon Trotsky February 23, 2009 at 7:02 pm

[re=249742]Godot[/re]: I suspect Cantor’s leading the fight against the stimulus package is really just sublimating his struggle to suppress his raging man crush on Obama…

Bearbloke February 23, 2009 at 7:07 pm

…like Cantor’s the only one…..

GlennBecksFelch February 23, 2009 at 7:11 pm

AIRLINES ARE SERVING FREE DRINKS AGAIN??!!!

Scandalabra February 23, 2009 at 7:11 pm

Everyone swoons for Barry given the chance.

Dreamer February 23, 2009 at 7:12 pm

I think Cantor was leading the fight against the stim only because he cannot get his hands on Barry’s package.

you cannot be serious February 23, 2009 at 7:15 pm

Eddie Haskell all the way.

bago February 23, 2009 at 7:16 pm

All of this DC stimpak nonsense. Is everyone else addicted to Fallout 3?

Dave J. February 23, 2009 at 7:25 pm

Sheesh, Barry can barely disguise the contempt in his voice as he says “Eric, you got some thoughts?” and Cantor can’t stop grinning like some 13 year old girl meeting Robert Pattinson for the first time.

tiny mexican February 23, 2009 at 7:28 pm

See, I read this as Eric Cantor gets Boehner, and I was totally confused, and then I had a sad because there’s something very wrong when you read immature jokes as serious political reporting instead of the other way around.

Canuckledragger February 23, 2009 at 7:30 pm

I knew Eddie Cantor. I worked with Eddie Cantor. Eddie Cantor was a friend of mine. You, sir, are no Eddie Cantor.

SayItWithWookies February 23, 2009 at 7:32 pm

So you got nothin. “Next!”

smellyal8r February 23, 2009 at 7:44 pm

Man, Eric, get a room. I gotta say, I love this “Prime Minister Question Time” kinda thing. Hey, old Johnny Mac, whazzup? Steny Hoyer, you old so and so. Just hop up and ask a question here on national teevee. Let’s see what you all think. Man, if he keeps this up, there will be about three Republicans left in Congress. At the end of his speech tomorrow night, he ought to open ‘er up for a few questions. Or, show up during Jindal’s “response” and poke his head in and ask a few questions.

Toomush Infermashun February 23, 2009 at 7:48 pm

Ithink he just reminds them all of the first page they had…

smellyal8r February 23, 2009 at 7:50 pm

[re=249803]Toomush Infermashun[/re]: It’s that earnest haircut.

groove February 23, 2009 at 7:51 pm

OMG he looked at me! /faint

Dave J. February 23, 2009 at 7:58 pm

[re=249762]Bruno[/re]: Oh hell, how did you get the notes from my performance review??

Lionel Hutz Esq. February 23, 2009 at 7:59 pm

Hell, just get him baked, and we will have to call him Julio.

smellyal8r February 23, 2009 at 8:02 pm

[re=249811]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Or Seth Rogen

wheelie February 23, 2009 at 8:03 pm

[re=249778]GlennBecksFelch[/re]: Heh, that is the main thing I took from that youtube too. US Airways will no longer charge $2 for juice. The recession is over!

Min February 23, 2009 at 8:04 pm

Today, we are all gay for Obama.

donner_froh February 23, 2009 at 8:10 pm

Mr. President I would like to thank you for “having” us…”

In your dreams, twerp.

4tehlulz February 23, 2009 at 8:13 pm

Dear Diary:

You’ll never guess what happened today. I was at this news thing with Barry, and I was all ready to call him out for the Nazi Jew Commie Muslim he is, but then he asked me a question, using my first name! I was trying to stay all calm, but inside I was like OMGOMGOMGOMG HE TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTALLY LIKES ME, but I said my piece and then he TALKED TO ME AGAIN LATER OMG. I tried to hide it but I JUST LOVE HIM SO MUCH! I just need to get him to break up with that bitch Michelle and then we’ll b 2gether 4eva!

sanantonerose February 23, 2009 at 8:14 pm

[re=249763]Cicada[/re]: Is that why I feel a draft in here?

assistant/atlas February 23, 2009 at 8:14 pm

Shut up, guys! You know if Obama talked to you, you’d, like, get all flustered and awkward and stuff. So just shut up, jerks.

[goes back to drawing hearts and "Mr. Atlas Obama" in swirly font on Trapper Keeper]

sanantonerose February 23, 2009 at 8:15 pm

[re=249812]smellyal8r[/re]: Or James Franco!

S.Luggo February 23, 2009 at 8:25 pm

It’s a bone-ette not a boner.

OT?: “… Cantor cast a high-profile vote opposing release of another $350 billion in bailout funds. Unpublicized until now was a recent development: The Treasury Department used $267 million of taxpayer funds [in the Bailout Bill] to buy preferred stock in a private banking company that employs Cantor’s wife [ a bank officer]. “ dccc.org/blog/archives/bank_employing_gop_house_leaders_wife_got_bailout_bucks

Répettez, aussi: bone-ette.

Tambien: http://crooksandliars.com/susie-madrak/gop-house-whips-wife-didnt-know-her-b

slowitted February 23, 2009 at 8:47 pm

Eric Canton: “I got up to speak and Obama called on me, then I jizzed in my pants!”

AxmxZ February 23, 2009 at 9:19 pm

Obama: “Eric, you’ve had your hand up for ten minutes. Talk to me.”
Eric: “….i forgot what i was going to say… OMG, please say my name again…”

CivicHoliday February 23, 2009 at 9:37 pm

[re=249799]SayItWithWookies[/re]: that “next” was my favorite part. ALPHA DOG is moving on. he’d pee on Eric if that wouldn’t upset Michelle.

smellyal8r February 23, 2009 at 9:38 pm

[re=249899]AxmxZ[/re]: Methinks Eric might be from the Lindsay Graham wing of the party, knowwhatimsayin?

pungentodor February 23, 2009 at 10:43 pm

Obama should put Cantor on the city’s ghost problems stat.

Magnus Maximus February 23, 2009 at 10:47 pm

http://www.adultswim.com/video/?episodeID=8a2505951bb6e4ab011bc1f70d7700a4

This is totally what Cantor wants to sing to Barry.

turbo February 23, 2009 at 10:53 pm

Erica is hawt for Barry, you can see it in his beady little quinty eyes.

turbo February 23, 2009 at 11:01 pm

Speakin’ for the Albama southern folk, all southern men are yearnin’ for what Barry can give ‘em. Deep and hard. They want it. They’re moanin for it..they want it so bad..beggin…in their dreams..oh gawd…oh gawd..give it to me…give me some of your stiumuls package baby, give it to me…

turbo February 23, 2009 at 11:08 pm

Eric Cant. Or? I think not. Say you all?

Uncle Glenny February 23, 2009 at 11:11 pm

[re=249845]S.Luggo[/re]: IIRC, someone investigated that branch she works for and it’s pretty much a shell without customers. Sorry, can’t remember the source.

S.Luggo February 23, 2009 at 11:40 pm

[re=249959]turbo[/re]: Eric is hawt about his own Congressional district (the 7th Virginia – George Allen’s former), which is increasing populated by foreigns, joos who read The New Yorker, high school graduates, and people who would not know which end of a deer’s head to stuff into a neighbor’s mailbox. Negroes live in Eric’s district, also.

Fear of a Black Reagan February 23, 2009 at 11:56 pm

Schumer + George Allen + the dude who hangs out in the men’s room all day = Eric Cantor

S.Luggo February 24, 2009 at 12:08 am

[re=249972]Uncle Glenny[/re]: So long as the $267 million in recent, TARP bailout funds to the New York Private Bank and Trust wasn’t wasted. No, really.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/aram-roston/gop-congressman-cantors-w_b_160420.html?page=3&show_comment_id=20081974#comment_20081974
[Eric Cantor’s wife] Diana Cantor works for a private bank subsidiary [of New York Private Bank and Trust], [a subsidiary] that bills itself as a “haven for wealthy individuals and families.”
***********

Judas Peckerwood February 24, 2009 at 12:10 am

“…a great opportunity for us to cum together…”

Um, no Eric dude, I think you were doing all the cumming on your lonesome.

S.Luggo February 24, 2009 at 12:16 am

***********
http://www.ericcantor.com/photoalbums_toppages/holidayparty_12-14-08.html
[Representative] Eric & Diana Cantor’s Holiday Party
The Dominion Club, Glen Allen, Virginia
December 14, 2008
[Slide show]
Eat Your Spam And Goddam Weep, You Lazy Hobos.

KittyLitter February 24, 2009 at 1:03 am

I just want to say how much I look forward to working on you I mean working with you in the principled opposition of my sphincter and your Mandingo love tower I mean my party and yours to pound me into blissful anal orgasm I mean solve the nation’s problems…

TGY February 24, 2009 at 1:50 am

Woah, “Brown is the Color of My True Love’s Nose”. FIRE THAT MAN FROM THE REPUBLICAN “FISHWIVE’S CLUB”!

TGY February 24, 2009 at 1:52 am

Also, you mean he got a BAY-ner.

Serolf Divad February 24, 2009 at 4:47 am

Holy shit… look at the little smirk on Cantor’s face as he says “very tough choices to make” it’s as if he’s got a visual image of a 90 year-old widow being told the government can no longer afford to pay for her medication and it’s giving him a boner.

BobLoblawLawBlog February 24, 2009 at 7:43 am

[re=249749]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: I had to watch the video without sound, and that was my first reaction. OK, my only reaction.

ToeCramps February 24, 2009 at 5:47 pm

[re=249754]Chi-town_Vinny[/re]: I hear ya! Hopey’s from the soutside and what I know is -As we say on the southside – back da fuck up faggot! Hopey could have told him that with a smile!

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