REPUBLICANS IN THE NEWS  5:22 pm February 23, 2009

Old Republican Asshole Sincerely Apologizes For Happily Predicting Ruth Bader Ginsburg Will Die Soon

by Ken Layne

Fuck you old man.Kentucky! One of the comical idiot Republican senators of the “Bluegrass State” is a stupid old prick who once played baseball in, who knows, the pre-Civil War era? For Kentucky’s special people, this is considered an “Ivy League” education in politics. But America’s worst, dumbest senator, Jim Bunning, barely kept his seat in 2004 — the year George W. Bush Jr. actually won the presidential election. Anyway Bunning, 77, said Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is about to die, because she is two years younger than he is, and she was successfully treated for early-stage pancreatic cancer and was back to work at SCOTUS today. Bunning finally apologized, just now. What a dick. [AP/Yahoo]

 
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{ 84 comments }

HopeyDope February 23, 2009 at 5:26 pm

Hold on. That isn’t Saxby Chambliss?

Meh, old child-touching bastards all look the same to me.

loudmouthredhead February 23, 2009 at 5:28 pm

Ken, I think you answered your own question: “Dumbest Senator” = “Geen-ee-us” in Kentucky.

4tehlulz February 23, 2009 at 5:29 pm

He only apologized if Justice Ginzburg was offended, which means he’s not really sorry.

He has accomplished something spectacular, though; he’s so thoroughly hated by the GOP of FUCKING KENTUCKY that they want to contest him in his next primary.

loquaciousmusic February 23, 2009 at 5:30 pm

The dad from Alf has not aged well.

OffTheRecord February 23, 2009 at 5:31 pm

Dammit. On behalf of my sad state let me just say sorry. Really. We will do better next time. Promise.

WadISay February 23, 2009 at 5:32 pm

He also had quite a bit of success with the ladies, as a young man growing up in Kentucky (i.e., he runs faster than his sister).

scotack February 23, 2009 at 5:32 pm

I’m so SICk of old white men! Get out of the way you GreyBack Bitches!

suchsweetthunder February 23, 2009 at 5:33 pm

Ken, I think you’re missing the most egregious fact. Bunning made the comment at a fundraiser. He was trying to fundraise off the death of another human being. There’s a special place in hell . . .

Giant Robot February 23, 2009 at 5:33 pm

I always liked Canadian Rye better. Screw Kentucky.

DeLand DeLakes February 23, 2009 at 5:35 pm

*tearfully*: “Oh Doctah, er, Senatah Bunning, what’s the prognosis?”

“Bad cancer.”

GlennBecksFelch February 23, 2009 at 5:37 pm

Jim Bunning will die soon

Tom February 23, 2009 at 5:38 pm

No apology that contains the word “if” is a real apology nor should be considered such.

you cannot be serious February 23, 2009 at 5:38 pm

I’m sure our Barry has a slate of Scalia, Alito, and Thomas clones lined up for the next SCOTUS opening.

facehead February 23, 2009 at 5:39 pm

His apology would be more sincere if he killed himself.

SayItWithWookies February 23, 2009 at 5:39 pm

[re=249642]4tehlulz[/re]: Ick. What a tasteless, thoughtless horse’s ass. Kentucky can’t do better than this?

Bronkers February 23, 2009 at 5:41 pm

Geeze-o-pete, I liked him as a pitcher for my hometown team back in my very long-lost youth, but man, what a wretched remark.

Madame Justice, as a native Detroiter (though transplanted to The Evil East), I apologize, even though I’m not responsible for the Sorry Senator’s (oughta be terminal) foot-in-mouth disease.

Red Zeppelin February 23, 2009 at 5:44 pm

Maybe he’ll get ass cancer!

ManchuCandidate February 23, 2009 at 5:45 pm

Each time I hear Jim Bunning’s name, I can’t help but think of Jim Bouton’s Ball Four in which he recounts Ted Williams at batting practice.

In the bullpen tonight Jim Pagliaroni was telling us how Ted Williams, when he was still playing, would psyche himself up for a game during batting practice, usually early practice before the fans or reporters got there.

He’d go into the cage, wave his bat at the pitcher and start screaming at the top of his voice, “My name is Ted fucking Williams and I’m the greatest hitter in baseball.”

He’d swing and hit a line drive.

“Jesus H. Christ Himself couldn’t get me out.”

And he’d hit another.

Then he’d say, “Here comes Jim Bunning. Jim fucking Bunning and that little shit slider of his.”

Wham!

“He doesn’t really think he’s gonna get me out with that shit.”

Blam!

“I’m Ted fucking Williams.”

Sock!

Norbert February 23, 2009 at 5:46 pm

Maybe Kentucky, home of snake-handling and moonshine, can start a “draft Curt Schilling movement” to replace their current asshole pitcher/Senator.

Gopherit February 23, 2009 at 5:50 pm

This being a karmically-friendly universe, humbly suggest the good Senator have a whole body scan done right away.

SayItWithWookies February 23, 2009 at 5:52 pm

[re=249679]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Pitcher? With a mouth like that he should be a catcher.

amodelcitizen February 23, 2009 at 5:55 pm

[re=249644]OffTheRecord[/re]: seconded. and for what it’s worth, this guy’s been a known prick for decades. in the mlb he was a notorious headhunter (pitched at batters’ heads to intimidate them).

it’s pretty bad when you embarrass the fuck outta mitch mcconnell. (but we deserve them both.)

Texan Bulldoggette February 23, 2009 at 5:55 pm

Gee, between him & Sen. Shelby (AL) saying he’d never seen Barry’s birth certificate & doesn’t know if he’s legitimate, these two are in a serious 2-way race to the bottom of the barrel.

Not to be morbid, but wouldn’t it be ironic (in a funny, ha ha way) if Bunning died before Ruth?

Texan Bulldoggette February 23, 2009 at 5:57 pm

[re=249680]Norbert[/re]: Dunno, Curt Schilling is a Bible thumping asshole. On second thought, he’d fit right in with those other southern dick wads. He’d just be a younger version….

Jukesgrrl February 23, 2009 at 6:01 pm

Someone should tell this Old Bitter that Earth, Wind and Fire turned Washington officially into Boogie Wonderland this weekend and he needs to STFU.

Atheist Nun February 23, 2009 at 6:03 pm

Steadman wanted to see some Kentucky Colonels, but he wasn’t sure what they looked like. I told him to go back to the clubhouse men’s rooms and look for men in white linen suits vomitting in the urinals. “They’ll usually have large brown whiskey stains on the front of their suits,” I said. “But watch the shoes, that’s the tip-off. Most of them manage to avoid vomitting on their own clothes, but they never miss their shoes.”
- Hunter S. Thompson, The Kentucky Derby is Decadent and Depraved

chascates February 23, 2009 at 6:03 pm

Gary Lock(e?)is now up for Commerce Secretary.

V572625694 February 23, 2009 at 6:06 pm

And Ginsberg is seating on the court, listening to Clarence Thomas snore and Nino Scalia bullying people, while her body’s shot full of poison (chemo-”therapy”) and blasted with death rays (radiation). All this brave woman needs is a jerkwad jock predicting her demise.

If God existed, he would smite Bunning down in his tracks with an embolism in his brain that would make him resemble a vegetable even more closely than he currently does.

Scandalabra February 23, 2009 at 6:06 pm

I once spent three days in Kentucky. The pawnshop across the street from the county courthouse had a KKK gift section. I’m serious. I have souvenirs.

Of course I wasn’t dressed like this in Kentucky.

gurukalehuru February 23, 2009 at 6:07 pm

Oh, Senator Bunning
That was quite a stunningly
stupid, insensitive thing to have said
But I’m not too mad because
I, also, frequently,
fervently, urgently wish you were dead

Bowdoin February 23, 2009 at 6:07 pm

Low-grade bigotry is more a part of the sport of baseball than even speed or steroids. I remember Bob Feller claiming Jackie Robinson couldn’t hit a curve ball. Affirmitive action, he was implying, even though that didn’t exist in ’48. And then fifty years later, Feller’s still around, claiming Michael Jordan couldn’t hit a fastball when he tried out in the MLB. Then he said, them Hispanics, they don’t know the rules. Nobody listened too close in the old days.

Go back even further than me. Ty Cobb refused to room with Babe Ruth when they were in the same city, probably during the Allstar game. Why? He had heard rumors that Ruth was part Black.

Eye-hand coordination covers a multitude of sins. Or it used to.

V572625694 February 23, 2009 at 6:11 pm

He did put up some good numbers though:

http://mlb.mlb.com/stats/historical/mlb_player_locator_results.jsp

Lifetime 3.27 ERA over 17 seasons, 2800 strikeouts.

Not that that has anything to do with being a politician.

Bowdoin February 23, 2009 at 6:13 pm

[re=249679]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Oh, is it Ted Williams story time?

A manager for the opposition, whose name might’ve been Boudreau but I ain’t gonna look it up, devised a shift. Williams was a pull hitter, so he’d position his Orioles mostly towards right field. Williams saw that, but determined to take no notice of it. He said, my strength’s pulling, and the writer who related this episode said, “He succeeded often enough, but often his drives would be caught by players who wouldn’t have made the play had they been in their regular position.”

Great resolve, right? Tremendous concentration. Or … the man just cannot adjust to changing events by hitting to the opposite field.

But, last one to hit over .400 in a season, so something worked.

V572625694 February 23, 2009 at 6:13 pm

[re=249715]V572625694[/re]: Sorry, link doesn’t work — lame-o site, MLB.

Lionel Hutz Esq. February 23, 2009 at 6:15 pm

Hey, he was just quoting Conservapedia. They have many lists of liberals who need to die.

AxmxZ February 23, 2009 at 6:16 pm

Five bucks says he keels over before she does.

Mr Blifil February 23, 2009 at 6:22 pm

After he leaves the Senate in disgrace he can start the new lawfirm of Bunning, Buttars and Buttsecks.

danadevin85 February 23, 2009 at 6:27 pm

just tacky

shanemacgowan February 23, 2009 at 6:28 pm

[re=249719]V572625694[/re]: Try this one. http://www.baseball-reference.com/b/bunniji01.shtmlre=249664Tom/re: Also, it doesn’t count as an apology if you misspell the name of the recipient.

shanemacgowan February 23, 2009 at 6:35 pm
Monsieur Grumpe February 23, 2009 at 6:37 pm

[re=249667]facehead[/re]:
Yeah, he should kill himself. But if was really sorry he’d do it by putting himself in a garbage disposal.

TeddyS February 23, 2009 at 6:38 pm

Ain’t that Jim Bunning just the cutest little ole Republican? All them virtues and everythang? That hate stuff is so charming.

Now, can we get Campbell Brown back in the advertisements in exchange for a Newt Gingrich weekly newsletter?

davesnothere February 23, 2009 at 6:45 pm

That is really unfair. What Bunning has is every bit as serious as anything Justice Ginsburg may have, although nobody has been able to figure out what it is yet. Anyhow, this is waaaayyy short of being the stupidest thing he’s ever said.

Accordion-o-rama February 23, 2009 at 6:48 pm

[re=249709]Bowdoin[/re]: I’ve read virtually every Cobb bio and have not heard this story. Even if true, your reasoning fails. Cobb and Ruth had a huge rivalry, and wouldn’t get near each other during their playing days (they got along better after retirement). That said, claiming that Ruth had black heritage was a common insult at the time, no doubt uttered by Cobb (and many others) in attempts to get his goat. Sorry this isn’t funny. Also.

Aquannissiwamissoo February 23, 2009 at 6:53 pm

Kentucky was the only state the Confederacy wouldn’t let in.

Jefferson Davis saw this tsunami of FAIL way back in the 1850s.

Bearbloke February 23, 2009 at 6:53 pm

Jim Bunning is a Stunning Cunt… so just where are those vicious terrorists of “November 11″ when we really need them?…

[re=249724]Scandalabra[/re]: You were even *more* fabulous?? Alert the media….

Lascauxcaveman February 23, 2009 at 6:57 pm

[re=249703]chascates[/re]: Yeah looks like Gary Locke is a lock for Commerce. [/ducks]

Between him, Ron Sims and Gil Kerlikowske, looks like Barry can’t get enough of retreads from the ‘other Washington’. Make our big green hippie soviet state proud, boys.

Iconoclasto February 23, 2009 at 6:58 pm

Not only is Bunning going to lose in two years, but he’s going to lose to a poofter. Both of the leading Democrats for the job long-been rumored to be homersexuals. It being Kentucky, however, both have young trophy wives.

Norbert February 23, 2009 at 6:58 pm

[re=249688]SayItWithWookies[/re]: FTW

Mr. Herpes February 23, 2009 at 6:59 pm

Personally, it’s probably the most accurate thing Bunning has ever said. Other than he’s a real conservative. Whatever that means. Justice Ginsburg will die. But at least she’ll be using her brain until the lights go out. Bunning? Sheesh. He’s still waiting for his first original thought. And time’s running out, Jim Boy. You may never get one before your obit turns up in the Times with those old Phillies photos.

Aquannissiwamissoo February 23, 2009 at 7:00 pm

[re=249751]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: It’s well known that Ty Cobb was racist as all hell. Ruth played many exhibition games with Negro League stars during the off-season and faced some of the best Negro league pitchers.

OffTheRecord February 23, 2009 at 7:02 pm

I would like to elaborate on my previous comment. I had been waiting for someone to post this all day and as soon as they do I was standing in a room full of undergrads getting ready to yell at them over test scores while trying to type on my phone. He is gone this time. Maybe. Hopefully. Pray to god. With any luck Jack Conway will run and the country will forgive us because we gave them senator hot stuff.

Bruno February 23, 2009 at 7:09 pm

[re=249648]scotack[/re]: The GOP stock response to your ‘Grey back’ comment will be that they are ‘silverbacks’ (no boomer will admit to going grey). Sliverbacks are Alpha Male Gorillas. Only Alpha Males are allowed to breed in the pack. Ann Coultier is turned on by Alpha Males. Ergo, GOP males are good and Ginsberg will die.

Norbert February 23, 2009 at 7:23 pm

[re=249690]amodelcitizen[/re]: So I just had this daydream: Bunning is pitching and brushes a batter back. The batter charges the mound. Bunning is sneering because he knows his teammates will back him up. The batter’s team rushes the mound too. Hated by his teammates, nobody emerges from the Bunning team dugout. http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28455

Accordion-o-rama February 23, 2009 at 7:58 pm

[re=249769]Aquannissiwamissoo[/re]: True enough. However, if you read about the era, you’ll find most of the players (and fans) at that time were also “racist as hell” by today’s standards. Similarly, Ruth, Williams, and (your pre-1960s hero’s name here) were probably homophobic by today’s standards. But Cobb is the one guy everyone reflexedly loves to hate – everyone else gets a pass. Witness the movie “Cobb” which repeated every anti-Cobb story out there (many debunked), and then made up a few of its own. Considered readers are directed to the excellent biography by Charles Alexander. (Cobb’s autobiography, despite clearly self-serving distortions, is also an amazing read. Cobb probably would not be a civil dinner companion, but he had an incredibly acute baseball mind.)

OffTheRecord February 23, 2009 at 8:15 pm

[re=249765]Iconoclasto[/re]: If you tell me Jack Conway is a rumored gay I am going to cry a thousand tears. He is my future husband. Mongiardo I would believe though, especially since he doesn’t seem to like them very much and god knows in the south hating on the gays = incredibly closeted. Is Ben Chandler running? Actually, a better question. Are there any male politicians in Kentucky, of either party, who are not rumored gays? I literally cannot think of any.

saggyboobedhag February 23, 2009 at 8:16 pm

Silly silly silly. Do we really know that Bush won 04 election?

Can you say southeast Ohio? From whence Rove predicted the needed votes would come, according to Tom Brokaw. And, yukky Ken Blackwell was Secretary of State when it was discovered that the votes actually left the state through a GOP computer server in Tennessee before making their way to Columbus. And the IT guy who ran that GOP Tennessee server, Mike Connell, is also the guy who “lost” all those White House emails that were using the GOP’s server (the same one?) who was supposed to testify against Rove, whose wife was being threatened by Rove (according to an Ohio prosecutor), who is also the guy who had a convenient plane wreck flying out of College Park last year. In a bad storm. Okay, maybe he really did die by accident and maybe he didn’t “fix” the vote and maybe he wasn’t going to testify against Rove and maybe Bush really did win the election.

But if they’re going to bring up birth certificates and Kenyan births when they have absolutely one iota of proof that someone’s mother ever even went to Kenya, I think we can all agree never to concede that Bush won either election.

Min February 23, 2009 at 8:17 pm

When Ruth gets to feeling better, I hope she goes over there and kicks his hateful ass.

PsycGirl February 23, 2009 at 8:25 pm

[re=249677]Red Zeppelin[/re]: It worked out that way for Jesse Helms. I danced on his grave in my imagination. For years when I mentioned being from NC, the first thing that popped in others’ minds was old Jesse and his “campaign ads”.

Aquannissiwamissoo February 23, 2009 at 8:26 pm

[re=249810]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: I refuse to believe Ruth Williams was against the gaii. She undressed me with her eyes once at the Grange Hall square dance.

CaliforniaMike February 23, 2009 at 8:28 pm

[re=249679]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Thanks, Man, for referencing the greatest book ever.

I hear Justice Ginsburg, while doing her rehab, is muttering, “Jim fucking Bunning and that idiot babbling of his, he thinks he’s going to get me out?”

Bam!

“I’m Ruth fucking Ginsburg.”

Spike February 23, 2009 at 8:43 pm

Of all the old baseball Hall of Famers to become a Senator, why’d it have to be that guy? Why could it not have been Earl Weaver?

Bowdoin February 23, 2009 at 8:43 pm

[re=249757]Aquannissiwamissoo[/re]: Ole Abe took great pains to keep Kentucky in the union. You remember that thar Emancipation Proclamation? Specified only states in rebellion. Kentucky was a slave-holding state, and Abe didn’t wanta antagonize ‘em.

The Emancipation Proclamation was nothing but a strategy to stir up trouble in their rear for the rebs. Abe said it; I didn’t. It worked for the French against the Brits and the Brits also had some trouble in the West Indies earlier in the nineteenth century. War was going badly for the union in ’64, and an election coming up and all.

Bowdoin February 23, 2009 at 8:47 pm

[re=249810]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: I’m missing something in the translation.

Me: Cobb was a bigot.
You: No, your reasoning fails. Cobb and Ruth were rivals! (?)
Aquannissiwamissoo: It’s well known Cobb was a bigot.
You: True enouigh, but so was everyone else.

gliberal February 23, 2009 at 10:21 pm

If I’m not mistaken, it is now widely believed that “Jim” is a pseudonym. His real name is Richard.

CaliforniaMike February 23, 2009 at 10:38 pm

If you look at that picture closely, Bunning might actually be dead. McConnell could be lugging his colleague around, telling people, “This is Senator Bernie, ah, Bunning.”

kingofnothing February 23, 2009 at 11:02 pm

[re=249709]Bowdoin[/re]: As a native Clevelander, I grew up hearing that Bob Feller is a great hero. My Dad got Bob Feller’s autograph about 60 years ago. I have a hard time believing that Bob Feller is a racist. In what way is it racist to express the opinions of Jackie Robinson and Michael Jordan that you attribute to Bob Feller?

turbo February 23, 2009 at 11:31 pm

Oh gawd…he IS a pancreas. And a cancer. On the confederacy!

turbo February 24, 2009 at 12:36 am

nothing says painful, crippling, lethal buttsecks like a republican politician.

jilly February 24, 2009 at 12:37 am

OH God people, the fucking south. Can’t we just cut it off like the carbunkle it is? I mean, give them sufficient notice, and the good people can get out, and I wouldn’t want to completely cut off New Orleans, so maybe finally maybe FEMA could make up for the last time. But heck. I mean really, when is enough, enough?

turbo February 24, 2009 at 12:44 am

Nobody knows better, than Republicans, the in and outs of buttsecks. Seriously. Also.

Aquannissiwamissoo February 24, 2009 at 12:47 am

[re=249869]Bowdoin[/re]: I know. What I find hilarious is that many people in many parts of Kentucky today think their state was in the Confederacy, even though it wasn’t. As a serious scholar of human stupidity, I rank this as near the Hope Diamond on a scale from one to scale.

Aquannissiwamissoo February 24, 2009 at 12:49 am

[re=249968]kingofnothing[/re]: Marge Schott herself always said Bob Feller was a great friend to the genetically inferior, weak ankled, lazy, cheating, grifting colored man.

S.Luggo February 24, 2009 at 1:03 am

[re=249639]HopeyDope[/re]: Ted Baxter.

S.Luggo February 24, 2009 at 1:06 am

From Wikipedia:
— During his [Bunning’s] reelection bid [for the US Senate in 2004], controversy erupted when Bunning described [his jihadi Demrat opponent, dago lawyer Daniel] Mongiardo as looking “like one of Saddam Hussein’s sons. —
With an ERA of 3.27 before the modern era of poor pitching and the “juice ball”, Bunning can go royally fuck himself, if I might speak frankly from a baseball standpoint. From a political standpoint, Bunning can undertake endeavor that too. .

Capitol Hillbilly February 24, 2009 at 1:23 am

Spike: Earl Weaver would be great, if only for his cussing. But how about Dock Ellis? Guy pitched a no-hitter on acid! Surely he could have handled Ms. McConnell.

S.Luggo February 24, 2009 at 1:24 am

From the date of his rejection by Mary Magdalene for a date a the local Assyrian mede shop, Bunning has remained resentful about any jewess.

Fivetree February 24, 2009 at 2:03 am

“Comical Republican idiot Senator”…..is there any other kind of Republican Senator?

BobLoblawLawBlog February 24, 2009 at 7:46 am

He is very pink. Meaning, not only is he about 10 seconds away from having a massive coronary, but he’s also a Commie.

Bowdoin February 24, 2009 at 10:48 am

[re=249968]kingofnothing[/re]: Mr Feller has opinions I have read on three different occasions. Two of the subjects are Black, and the others are Hispanics as a group. He was dead wrong on at least two occasions, which suggests his reason for offering the opinion was not a need to deliver an unbiased scouting report. On no other player’s ability have I read any comments by Mr Bob Feller. This despite the fact your daddy has his autograph and he threw fastballs. All of these factors can coincide withouth conflict. The subject of this whole line is that you can play a game well and still be a doosche.

Bowdoin February 24, 2009 at 10:51 am

[re=250015]Aquannissiwamissoo[/re]: Yep, all that, and, if you notice, there isn’t really any blue grass about anywhere either.

Bowdoin February 24, 2009 at 11:04 am

[re=250012]jilly[/re]: Can you really do without the sweet, sunny south? You wouldn’t miss NASCAR, the Grand Ole Oprah, or the Grand Ole Party? How about ham hocks and lima beans, chicken fried steak? How about this: of the 14 states in the south, 11 have an obesity rate of 24% or higher. The other 36 states of which this is true number – 5. Now, one factor advanced by the pollution apologists for global warming is simply a wobble of the earth as it spins on its axis, and the major influence there is the imbalance in weight down south. So if they were expelled from the union with a prerequisite for re-entry based on membership in Weightwatchers, we might have a plan.

You read it here first.

PsycGirl February 24, 2009 at 11:32 am

[re=250139]Bowdoin[/re]: What’s the word on the fried chicken?

ToeCramps February 24, 2009 at 5:44 pm

WTF? Is this his idea of a Get Well Soon wish? The old ass codger got one left foot in the fiery pits of hell where the rest of the dumb ass republicans go! Remind me to send him an exploding cupcake if he ever goes to the damn hospital for anything!

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