Wonkette
Heartthrob angel of death Rahm Emanuel went to the movies Saturday night! He went to see a sports movie called The Wrestler at Washington’s E Street Cinema (the one that serves beer), and was getting all amped up to see Marisa Tomei’s boobs until the guy next to him had a seizure, at which point he just started cursing at everyone.
Rahm saved his life, according to Ben Smith:
It was not a quiet night out.
“The guy sitting next to Rahm — literally sharing an armrest with him — had a seizure of some kind,” the moviegoer tells me. “Rahm used some vulgarities to impress upon the movie theater staff — who wanted to move the guy out of the movie theater so they could restart the film — that they should wait until EMS got there.”
Emanuel stayed and helped, I’m told, until EMS arrived.
And what have you communists done lately?
No rest for Rahm at the movies [Ben Smith]
This is what Rahm Emmanuel does best — swearing, for great justice.
Emmanuel’s an amateur compared to his predecessors. Karl Rove would have saved the guy’s life, and then taken his soul as payment for services rendered.
Rahm then quietly took $12 out of the man’s wallet as reimbursement.
Meh, let me know when he stops an abortion or takes a bullet for Barry. He probably just wanted the guy to STFU so he could watch the rest of the movie.
rambone: His soul, and one of his kidneys.
Rahm calls himself a Clintonista? A real Clintonista would have killed the seizure guy with a shot to the temple then got the EM Techs to harvest his organs for to the Communist Chinese then filled the body cavity with Afghani Heroin to smuggle to Arkansas to sell to Christians in order to finance Satan’s New Order and provide Universal Healthcare.
He’ll send a horse head to the hospital room… just a friendly message.
ManchuCandidate: Also.
ManchuCandidate—-
Oh Hey Rush, didn’t recognize you, still having the Oxy flashbacks?
Hart88: Win.
ManchuCandidate: …if you listened to Sean Hannity describe it, then that was “Universal Healthcare”.
What’s wrong with these people? Always meddling in the affairs of private citizens. A real American would’ve let market forces play out.
I did exactly the same thing, in a library when I was in grad school, while a grad student who was a nun stayed huddled in her carrel. So there.
“Listen you cocksucker. I want to see this goddamn flick as much as the next guy. I’ve been a fan of Mickey fucking Rourke ever since he pounded Kim Basinger seven ways to Sunday in 9 1/2 weeks. But if you so much as lift a finger to move this poor dying bastard I’ll have your ass UPS’ed to your mom over the next two weeks in 30 separate cigar boxes… comprende? You try to lift this sorry son of a bitch and he’s liable to check out right here and now, and I’m sure as shit not going to be the dickwad explaining to some asshole cop how I was a complete shithead and offed a guy because I was impatient for a Goddamned movie to start. So take a fucking chill; sit your ass down and wait for the EMS crew to get drag useless asses over here.”
Once again, Rahm’s my *&#@&! hero.
Excellent work, Comrade!
A real American would have stayed at home and waited for the movie to come out on Netflix, and then watched it on his about-to-be-repossessed 42″ plasma screen. Only communists watch movies in movie theatres, with the poor people and the coloreds.
Rahm is the shit.
Please. You know Rahm got sick of fighting over the armrest with this guy and hit him with the 4-finger death grip.
RAHM KILLS FOR THE ARMREST!!
I’m swooning. cat noise.
This will only intensify my wife’s crush on Rahm. By the way, read the comments below the Ben Smith articles–hillarious exemplars of the paranoia and brain-damage from which today’s conservatives are suffering.
rambone: And Cheney would have finished him off and feasted on his still warm heart
The blow dart launched by Gov. Mark Sanford two rows back missed it’s target by thismuch.
Serolf Divad: Win.
Also, again Politico shows that the only reason for its existence is to make AOL commenters look intellectual.
Rahm Emanuel singled-handedly saved the American healthcare system huzzah!
You’re all missing the bigger point. Apparently, sitting next to Rahm Emanuel causes seizures!!!!!
Serolf Divad: Wait, wait, now do Gibbs doing the obligatory press conference! Please!!
He did good, then. You don’t touch someone until EMS get there, it’s not a good idea. You should never move someone like that.
This is a bad omen.
You realize that Tom Crui$e has to save somebody’s life every time his approval score plummets, don’t you?
They’ll be throwing chimp victims at him by May. Mark my words.
Min, it’s worth the risk! 4tehlulz, if that’s the case then Youtubers are Rhodes scholars.
SayItWithWookies: FTW!
Serolf Divad: SEE?! How the fuck could anyone *not* think that was totally hawt!!!
A Brief Summary of My Reaction To This Story
First thought: Respect for Rahm Emanuel. What a guy!
Second thought: What kind of idiot movie staff would try to remove a seizure victim because he was interrupting a film?
Third thought: Holy shit! What theater WAS that? Can I go see all the movies there for the rest of my life??? I bet to holy hell THEY won’t have those damn teenagers spending the entire movie yakking and answering their cellphones and …
Fourth thought: Shame … but … what theater was it, again?
Serolf Divad: How did you get a tape of that? Oh — ha ha.
Jewdishoowary Square: It’s sort of a superhero ability then, his cussing?
I have a folder called R**m on my porn backup.
Rahm Emmanuel is my f*cking imaginary hawt-a$$ no-bullsh*t minimum-wage-slave-c*ck-punching boyfriend 4evar! Le sigh…le pant…le heave…
Did Rahm do a Randy the Ram move from the top balcony and into the guy’s chest? Cuz that would be pretty fucking cool.
You forgot to mention he was with one of his secret service staff. Now that’s funny.
HOT
why was he in a public theater? don’t big shots have private screening rooms with courtesans and big piles of roofies and blow and oxycontin? Or is that only on the other side of the aisle?
GDTRFB: My favorite comment is “TYPICAL LIBRERAL TRYING TO HELP A DISABELED MAN WHO CAN PROBABLY HELP HIMSELF. THIS IS TYPICAL SOCALIST BEHAVOUR ALSO FACIST.” How can you satirize that? Offensive content, all caps, multiple misspellings, grammar fail…
and are you CERTAIN that the seizure was not caused in fact by Marisa Tomei’s boobs? Because if so, they MUST be stopped before they strike again!
We liberals, always wanting to help the infirm, the elderly, the poor, the shoe-less children. We should just be shot for the traitors we are. God bLess the repubthlicans for they know the Jeezuz we don’t…the Jeezuz that would kill, maim, starve, and beat the poor into submission. The bible says, blessed are the rich, for they shall inherit….oh wait…that isn’t what the bible says. Sorry.
Lascauxcaveman: your fuck hero? because he’s my fuck hero.
Banzai, Rahmbo. Keep swearing for humanity.
PsycGirl: “TYPICAL LIBRERAL TRYING TO HELP A DISABELED MAN WHO CAN PROBABLY HELP HIMSELF. THIS IS TYPICAL SOCALIST BEHAVOUR ALSO FACIST.” Liberal troll, maybe even a Wonketter. don’t’ be fooled PsychGirl.
Serolf Divad, you have reached the highest heights of wonkette commenting. There is no reason for me to try.