Wonkette
Roland Burris! This guy! The respected Chicago politician who has his own glamorous mausoleum already built and who repeatedly lost in his many attempts at seeking a public office higher than dog catcher managed to weasel his way into the Senate by calling Harry Reid a racist. As we watched events unfold in December and January we were frankly amazed by his PR strategy which involved, number one, accepting an appointment by a TAINTED governor that literally no other self-respecting Democrat in the state would take, and number two, again, calling Harry Reid a racist.
But this completely shameless strategy totally worked, because Roland Burris got his Senate seat after all, and then everything was awesome.
Until it came out that maybe he hadn’t told the state legislature everything he should have told them during the impeachment proceedings against Blagojevich, and the more he explained the worse he looked. You know whose fault this is? His communications team’s. And a Burris consultant just sent out a memo saying, “I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ANY OF THIS COMMUNICATIONS-RELATED LOSINGNESS,” which is funny mostly for its terrible misspellings.
I know based on my own private conversations and experience that Senator Roland Burris has been the victim of bad advice and, when set-up to fail, he certainly shall we say, has had less than adeqaute attempts to better and more clearly inform the public at a press conference, or two. It has ben painful to watch.
And this is a guy who was enough of a professional to have the brains to quit! Just imagine who’s left on the Burris staff. Our guess: a head of lettuce, an elderly cat, and a half-empty Pez dispenser.
Burris consultant dumps on Burris p.r. team. Memo. [Chicago Sun-Times]
If Blago’s Taint can make a PR consultant feel dirty shame then it must be made of Kryptonite or whatever Blago’s hair is made of.
Awww, Bud haz a sad.
Burris has sat in the Senate. He’s cast an actual vote in the Senate. He can now inscribe “U.S. Senator from Illinois” on his mausoleum. So methinks it’s a good time to leave. I mean… just think of all the other stuff he hasn’t yet had a chance to inscribe on his mausoleum… like.. captain of the Illinois Polar Bear club, or “bank teller.”
Wonkette: when quoting passages of official communications, please do not edit them. You obviously edited out a few “too”s, “also”s and a “such as” at the end.
According to this guy’s own web site, http://www.jacksongroupmedia.com his greatest successes were quitting his last job and his inspired effort in the Draft Wesley Clark for President movement in 2004.
Seeing as the mausoleum is proof-positive that he’s dead, I’m expecting Fred and the rest of the Mystery Machine Gang (with the assistance of the Harlem Globetrotters) to take off the rubber Burris mask to reveal OLD MAN BLAGOJEVICH in “The Case of the Haunted Senate.”
Serolf Divad: He might have a plan to write “President of the United States” on it. The plan would entail killing the hundred or so people in front of him in the line of succession.
Clarence Page made the best comment about the Roland Burris affair. he said, “Roland Burris has always wanted to become a US Senator in the worst way and now he has had that dream come true”
Should any of us be surprised? I mean, integrity and any service in the Congress are not compatible.
Hey! My best employee is an elderly cat! He can haz medikal leev nao pls?
Is Lohan doing political consulting now?
You can’t knock the successful strategy of Roland Burris. In that spirit, I demand my senate seat — Harry Reid doesn’t care about middle-aged white guys!
We laughed at Miss Teen South Carolina, but she was way ahead of her time. Also.
…and why is it that that mausoleum looks like a toilet stall to me?
CuntryFirst: The zombie senator’s only chance at becoming prez is if Harry Reid is somehow involved in the process.
If you think his communications staff is bad, think about what his transportation co-ordinator must be like.
http://crazycrashes.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/van_crash-1.jpg
When racism isn’t an issue in this darned country, Roland Burris will have the same rights to corruption as his colleagues.
norbizness: Have I mentioned lately how much you rock? I horked coffee out my nose, thank you.
norbizness: He would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for those nosy kids.
Ya gotta be in it to win it.
I am more inspired by the heights our esteemed congress members attain everyday. The are our finest citizens to be sure. I know I could learn a thing or two from all their upstanding conduct.
So did this person work for Sarah Palin? Cause they sound like they too could use some grade school grammar lessons, also.
They don’t make scandals like they useta. I remember Adam Clayton Powell, from Harlem. Expelled finally in a racist purge (equal protection under the laws would’ve left an empty House), but what a time he had while it lasted. Ran with white women, that was the trouble, him and Jack Johnson.
This post the an insult to elderly cats everywhere.
norbizness: Your Mystery Machine is full of WIN today.
Burris is now gonna have to foreclose on that future home of his.
’tis a powerful taint.
Folks, as Burris says:
‘Don’t blame the playa, blame the game.’
Cause, man, polyatiks has become the shizzle of urban hip hop. and yes, I’m waiting for the Pelosi b-slap on this situation.
Roland Burris is EPIC FAIL!!!!!
This type of shameless little
“title collector” has been
around since the 60s: “the
first black this” or the “first
black that”.
Well he’ll collect another “first”:
the first little “black self serving
shit from Illinois to be forced
from the Senate” — arrogant
little fuck.
At least Moseley-Braun got herself
elected (once) — this little shit
“Bogarted” his way to the post.