Socks, Clintons’ Abandoned Cat, Finally Dies

  and now he's dead

Nice Hitler 'stache, bro.Socks the Cat, sorta beloved pet of the Clintons, died on Friday in the care of retired Clinton secretary Betty Currie. And why was Currie watching over Socks? Because when Bill Clinton left the White House for New York, he brought along newer pet Buddy the Dog, who was soon run over and crushed to death by a car. Socks was supposedly going to live in Hillary’s fancy new house in Washington, but Hillary was never quite “ready” to allow her own pet — a helpless animal — to move to Georgetown. So poor old Socks was stuck with Mrs. Currie, or poor old Mrs. Currie was stuck with Socks. But at least they were no longer stuck with the Clintons, the end. [Obit Magazine/Top of the Ticket]

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A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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99 comments

  1. SayItWithWookies

    [re=248915]Atheist Nun[/re]: Dubya had a pet cow?! Instead of calling it Ofelia, they should’ve named it Phase IV, since it’s probably fictional too.
    Also, I like the third pet listed under Bill Clinton.

  2. slinkimalinki

    [re=248919]SayItWithWookies[/re]: looks like jfk had a lot more pets than bill clinton, which is unsurprising.

  3. SayItWithWookies

    [re=248921]slinkimalinki[/re]: More in three years than Clinton had in eight — pretty impressive.
    Oh, and including “Zsa Zsa – a rabbit.” I’d heard that about her.

    Oh, and RIP Socks. Eighteen years is a good long life for a cat, especially a stray.

  4. lulzmonger

    Uh, Ken … you do know you’re basically channelling Gateway Pundit here, right? I just finished reading the exact same “hard-hitting journalism” from him (via “Sadly, No!”) – so in case anyone actually gives a rat’s ass: the fucking cat hung out with Currie constantly & obviously wanted to change slaves (they’re known to do that) & the Clintons went along with its wishes, as any wise slave would. Noone was “stuck” with anyone. Sheesh. Believe it or not, cats are fickle as hell, & the late Socks was no exception.

    .

  5. slinkimalinki

    [re=248922]SayItWithWookies[/re]: mind you, calvin coolidge had a pygmy hippo…
    and yes, r.i.p. socks.

  6. Judas Peckerwood

    After offing Vince Foster and Ron Brown, and performing various other “favors” for the Clintons, Socks gets foisted off on some former functionary? Bad form, Bill and Hill, bad form.

  7. jagorev

    Ken – This is horrible smear journalism. Socks was very close to Betty Currie during his time in the White House, and they were very happy with each other. Prepare for Media Matters, Glenn Greenwald of the Salon.com, DailyKos, and the Columbia Journalism Review to launch a fatwah on your ass.

  8. Uncle Glenny

    [re=248929]lulzmonger[/re]: well, I don’t know about the fickle part; I heard that Currie was taken with Socks. In any event, it can be tough on some pets when the owner (I don’t know who of the Clintons Socks was most identified with) are away a lot.

    I had a part siamese I raised from a kitten, and when she was about 8 I was a super-workaholic, and she was getting all bent out of shape, so I “temporarily” gave her to my parents (she and my father liked each other, and she’d always traveled by car with me to visit them). It was also a bigger house with lots of windows to look out to watch birds, and she could piss off my mother by knocking nick-nacks to the floor (she liked to see things fall). I never got her back, but she definitely was still bonded with me, even after one interval of nearly 3 years.

  9. Vulpes82

    Eh, Socks knew exactly what he was doing. Better to have a nice, quiet, pampered life with ol’ Bettie than endure the atmosphere of seething resentment and political ambition in the Clintons’ house (not to mention all the flying crockery). Look at poor Buddy: flinging himself in front of cars to gain the sweet relief of death!

    Or, to channel the wingnuts for a second: ZOMG, TEH CLINTONZ KILLD HIM!1! hE NU WHO KILLD VINC FOSTER!1!!11

  10. dennymcden

    Damn. That cat was a foreign policy GENIUS. However, it was his sekrit gehness that made him a true unsung hero in the Clinton White House. He shall be sorely missed by sekrit gehz everywhere.

  11. SpikeyDog

    Should have expected this. Putting peace in the Middle East ahead of her kitty. You were an inspiration to all stray cats Socks. Even a stray can end up in the White House. Sniff…

  12. Capitol Hillbilly

    [re=248929]lulzmonger[/re]: then they must be channeling Caitlan Flanagan (spiffy writer for Atlantic, etc). This was the reason she gave for no longer liking Hillary.

    At any rate, Socks is now in a place where brakemen never throw hobos off trains, at least according to Jimmie Rodgers.

  13. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Socks didn’t move in with Bill because Hillary told him that if they were to stay married, there would be absolutely no pussy.

    [re=248911]Hedley Lamar[/re]: The Clinton Circle of Death ((c) 1995, Jerry Fawell) knows no boundaries.

    However, Hannity has announced that Socks was offed because he was about to reveal the true depth of the Communist Conspiracy that controls the Clintons and Obama.

  14. Zorg

    At my wife’s high school, kids used to go to smoke pot at Checker’s grave. It was a very important life lesson. Where will Socks be buried?

  15. 2druk2phluq

    The sweetest pussy of the Clinton White House years has finally lost the battle with old age and time. Poor kitty. I now haz sad.

    May the wind rise up behind your sails, Socks. May the light of sunshine smile down upon you. And may you linger forever in fields filled with flowers, and the spirits of the great cats who went before you.

  16. villageatrois

    So Socks was just a photo-op prop, like Trig? Just a furrie-analog to make the Clingons seem (sorta) human?

  17. rambone

    Kinda suspicious timing if you ask me, what with Hillary’s spot with the new hopemonger administration. The question is “What did Socks know and when did he know it?”

  18. Serolf Divad

    I’ve just been hit by the realization that when I die, the world will take less notice of the fact than they did the death of this cat.

  19. Monsieur Grumpe

    [re=248930]MisterLoki[/re]:
    Shit like that really brings out the hate in me. I adopted a cat (Dante) that has brain damage from abuse like that. I’d like to stick cage around the head of those kids and put Dante in there while he has one of his grand mall seizures. Dante is feline slobbering, biting, shredding and pissing machine while he flops around. Hope they get a cat loving judge.

  20. Canmon (the Inadequate)

    What kind of person reads “Obit Magazine”? Though to be fair, I am intrigued by the article subtitled “The enduring pleasure of mocking the dead”.

  21. MarieDeGournay

    My wife had to put down our cat on Saturday due to cancer. She rescued him off the streets as a kitten. No one thought he would live, but she nursed him back to health, though he went blind from a fever. He ended up being a very fat ladies man: we called him the walking tea cozy. It’s good to know he will have good company on the other side.

  22. Bruno

    How do the Pumas feel about this, or was the cat somehow a ‘pig’ and that’s why Hillz didn’t like her? (cheap photoshop of cat with pig nose anyone?)

  23. Neilist

    Personally, I love kids who kick cats to death.

    In fact, I love them so much that one night in Hollywood I decided to share with two of them a piece of pipe that I found in the alley where they were playing.

    It’s very satisfying to share, you know?

    Although I’m pretty sure that the first one is having trouble with his knee to this day. But I’m sure I helped put the children of the dentist of second through college.

    The bitch of it was, the cat was too far gone. So I had to kill it myself.

    Which is why I feel so badly about that kneecap . . . .

    (But at least it went to Cat Heaven, rather than having to live with Hillary “CatboxFace” Clinton.)

  24. Bruno

    I ventured over to Confluence & Pumapac for the first time since the bloodletting during the warblogging, and not a single mention of the poor cat. And they name themselves after a type of cat. They should be ashamed of themselves.

    To recover from this I suggest a ThankugeorgeW type website so they can send their best regards to the cat

  25. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    [re=248980]WadISay[/re]: It is a well known fact that all creatures that lived and worked in the Clinton White House had their souls sold to our Great Lord Satan, just like in the Reagan White House. I mean, look at George Stephanopoulos. So eternal rest is not possible.

  26. bitchincamaro

    [re=248994]SayItWithWookies[/re]: And will liveblog the Oscars with Megan C. (our former AE), tonight. (Denby, DO NOT READ!)

  27. fuckinredneck

    [re=248945]hobospacejungle[/re]: It figures that the evil Clintons would have a hitlercat. HEIL CLINTON!

  28. V572625694

    You’re all being species-ist and disrespectful: that cat’s correct name was “Socks Rodham Clinton.”

    Dave Barry’s little joke, a good one.

    So long little fella. You had a good run.

  29. Dreamer

    When I was a child and visiting my grandparents (from the terrorist muslim side) in Africa – my cousin told me that cats always land on their feet. To proof that theory I dropped the cat from the roof — needless to say my cousin was right. My grandmother told me that if I torture animals then I am going to hell – to cement this in my impressionable mind – she told me a story about a prostitute who was thirsty after a long wander in the desert – she had a little water left but came across a cat who was obviously hungry and thirsty – she gave her water to the cat. According to my grandmother the prostitute went to heaven for being kind to a cat. The moral of this story is that Betty Currie is going to heaven despite her cold assassination of Vince Foster.

  30. ladymacbeth

    [re=248985]MarieDeGournay[/re]: i had to put my beloved fat pain in the ass 9 year old tabby down in december due to the cancers. it was so painful i still want to eviscerate karl rove, most televangelists and that santelli freak.

    and i mean that in the best of ways.

    my best to you and your wife.

  31. dijetlo

    Socks was Clintons Chicom handler,just a Chinese midget from Lou Dong Dobba. The fact he looked like Hitler was an unforeseen consequence of the hair plugs. If he didn’t have pictures of Newt Gingrich shtupping the “Home Alone” kid in a Chucky Cheese (Security cam in the mens room-what can I say, the neighborhood “leans” heavily GOP), it all would have come out at the impeachment hearings. As it was, Clinton had to cop to sploogeing Monica, even though it was that damn Chinese midget hiding under the desk at the Oval Office (I mentioned he was Bills “handler”, right?”
    All I can say is your lucky you didn’t end up in a big steaming plate of Lo Mein, Comrade “Yi-Mm-Tsi” (2-5 boy, Sorry you would have had to have been doing wet work for the company in Guanghzao during the cultural revolution to catch that one, my apologees)

  32. Cherry Garcia

    I most recently was adopted by a hungry stray who came to my door with a scraped nose, two teeth broken off and a broken knee. He is still terrified of male voices but has adapted to life “on the inside” and kindly allows me a small corner of the bed each night. Cats choose you, and they set the rules.

    Sounds like Socks will have some Wonketter kitty company in heaven. RIP to them all.

  33. marioninnyc

    It’s very clear that Socks had a much better life with Currie than the Clintons. Anyone who knows anything about cats would get this. Cats love people they’re just choosy about which ones, and Socks clearly chose Curry who led a quiet life as a retired lady and had time to spend with kitty and a regular schedule. So stop the snark! In this case it’s just silly.

  34. CivicHoliday

    fare the well, mon petit chat…

    you were the best of your family. only a PUMA, baby PUMA and self-aggrandizing old womanizer remain.

  35. smellyal8r

    Socks, we hardly knew ye. You are now across the great divide, through the veil and happy. Mrs. Currie did what she must (and after watching the way Bill the C chased Buddy to his death, probably decided to not let Socks move back with them). The cat had a good life and, I’m sure in her second memoir, Mrs. Clinton’s staff will write that she remembers the cat fondly.

  36. DoctorCulturae

    [re=249029]smellyal8r[/re]: I can’t wait for the “during the grueling campaign I’d often sit down to a quieting cup of tea. Socks would come up and surprise me jumping onto my lap, purring affectionately. I knew then I had to hold out, never give in to the reality of the primary data, and stride triumphantly into the role destined for me by history: Queen of the Universe.”

  37. grevillea

    [re=248995]Bruno[/re]: Let’s see. Cats are devious, manipulative creatures, who value their own comfort and interests above all else. Their demeanor can flip in seconds from smarmy affection to hissing, clawing attack mode — neither of which reflects anything deeper than a cool tactical calculation of what is immediately expedient. So I’m guessing the PUMAs identify. Oh, and rubbing yourself with saliva as the main form of grooming, also, obviously.

  38. Custerwolf

    [re=248978]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: I hope Socks reincarnates as a sadistic prison guard assigned to the cell block where this little piece of shit and his videographer lose their virginity.

  39. Jeweller

    Marion is right. Socks was much better off with Mrs. Currie and without those a-holes. There are some people who should never bet pet owners because they are too wrapped up in themselves; same goes for some people having kids. Unfortunately, it almost never comes to pass. Rest in peace, Socks.

  40. El Pinche

    KITLER IS NOT DEAD. LIBERULS MUST LEARN TO READ AND KNOW FACTS THAT THE SOCIALISTS WANT YOU TO BELIEVE HE’S DEAD!!1!! LARRY SINCLAIR HAS VIDEO FOOTAGE OF SOCKS ALIVE AND WELL IN SHREAVEPORT, LOISIANA.

  41. PsycGirl

    [re=249037]Custerwolf[/re]: Seriously, that kind of stuff is very indicative of psychopathology. It’s very common for serial killers and other brutal criminals to get their start by harming animals for fun. Since they’re teenagers their cell opportunities may be limited, alas.
    This thread is a little reminiscent of the election in that the normal snarkfest has been suspended for display of one’s soft fuzzy side.

  42. dogscantlookup

    One guy has 30 cats in his/her trailer,but a rich family can’t find one fucking room to lock that darn cat in. For shame! A year from now we will all wish we have cat numnums “hobo BBQ”

  43. buggers

    Poor little kitteh!! We will miss you Socks; you were super cute and probably put up with a fair amount.

  44. Anita Cocktail

    Socks was by far the best-looking of the Clinton family. And after living with that dysfunctional bunch for years, I am sure he gloried in his quiet, non-adulterous, recrimination-free retirement home. Rest in peace, fluffeh kitteh.

  45. Vulpes82

    Unless one or both back paws were white, which they may very well have been because I’m not sure I ever saw a picture of Socks where all four were visible, shouldn’t he have been named “Sock”? Because the right leg is more a wristband than a sock.

  46. norbizness

    You can have all the chocolate chicken pot pies in heaven you want, kitty.

    As for Hitler cats, my grandparents’ next door neighboor actually had one named Hitler (here is a picture of me and my sister petting pure evil… it’s all their, from the mustache to the black ‘hair’ parted from left to right). That cat was always mewling about the mixed-breed cats across the street.

  47. S.Luggo

    [re=249055]dogscantlookup[/re]:
    Vincent Foster
    Ron Brown
    James McDougal
    Charlton Heston
    Socks the Cat

    The list grows.

  48. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    [re=249013]dijetlo[/re]: So that is why we gave the Chinese all of our missile and catnip technology!

  49. Atheist Nun

    [re=248919]SayItWithWookies[/re]: When Bush bought that “ranch” as a prop, the cow was the ‘free gift with purchase’… It’s on the grill now, y’all!
    [re=249007]trondant[/re]: WTF, right? Harry S. Truman: Monster Jungle X-ray – Boa Constrictor [citation needed] Maybe they weren’t talking about a Presidential pet, if you know what I mean, and I think you do!

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