AND NOW HE'S DEAD  9:56 pm February 21, 2009

Socks, Clintons’ Abandoned Cat, Finally Dies

by Ken Layne

Nice Hitler 'stache, bro.Socks the Cat, sorta beloved pet of the Clintons, died on Friday in the care of retired Clinton secretary Betty Currie. And why was Currie watching over Socks? Because when Bill Clinton left the White House for New York, he brought along newer pet Buddy the Dog, who was soon run over and crushed to death by a car. Socks was supposedly going to live in Hillary’s fancy new house in Washington, but Hillary was never quite “ready” to allow her own pet — a helpless animal — to move to Georgetown. So poor old Socks was stuck with Mrs. Currie, or poor old Mrs. Currie was stuck with Socks. But at least they were no longer stuck with the Clintons, the end. [Obit Magazine/Top of the Ticket]

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Delicious February 21, 2009 at 9:59 pm

Rest in Power, my friend.

DoctorCulturae February 21, 2009 at 10:01 pm

And where was Chelsea? Out drinking with her hedge fund buddies?

Perot le fou February 21, 2009 at 10:04 pm

I can’t believe Bill Clinton didn’t want to live with 20 year old pussy.

slinkimalinki February 21, 2009 at 10:06 pm

they abandoned socks? shit, i woulda thought bill would’ve done anything for a little pussy.

Hedley Lamar February 21, 2009 at 10:12 pm

Was he found in Fort Marcy Park?

Atheist Nun February 21, 2009 at 10:27 pm

Yep, Poor Socks… thrown over for a younger pet, just like someone else I could name.

BTW: Jimmy Carter had a cat in the White House named Misty Malarky Ying Yang. Fuckin’ Aye.

SayItWithWookies February 21, 2009 at 10:40 pm

[re=248915]Atheist Nun[/re]: Dubya had a pet cow?! Instead of calling it Ofelia, they should’ve named it Phase IV, since it’s probably fictional too.
Also, I like the third pet listed under Bill Clinton.

slinkimalinki February 21, 2009 at 10:47 pm

[re=248919]SayItWithWookies[/re]: looks like jfk had a lot more pets than bill clinton, which is unsurprising.

SayItWithWookies February 21, 2009 at 10:56 pm

[re=248921]slinkimalinki[/re]: More in three years than Clinton had in eight — pretty impressive.
Oh, and including “Zsa Zsa – a rabbit.” I’d heard that about her.

Oh, and RIP Socks. Eighteen years is a good long life for a cat, especially a stray.

Chuckie Jesus February 21, 2009 at 11:05 pm

Tuxedo kitties are aces. Rest in peace, kitty kitty.

WikipediaBrown February 21, 2009 at 11:18 pm

RIP Socks. I just know that you’re harassing Millie right now in heaven.

lulzmonger February 21, 2009 at 11:21 pm

Uh, Ken … you do know you’re basically channelling Gateway Pundit here, right? I just finished reading the exact same “hard-hitting journalism” from him (via “Sadly, No!”) – so in case anyone actually gives a rat’s ass: the fucking cat hung out with Currie constantly & obviously wanted to change slaves (they’re known to do that) & the Clintons went along with its wishes, as any wise slave would. Noone was “stuck” with anyone. Sheesh. Believe it or not, cats are fickle as hell, & the late Socks was no exception.


MisterLoki February 21, 2009 at 11:24 pm
El Pinche February 21, 2009 at 11:33 pm

I’m starting a Socks PAC right now. We unite against NOBAMA in Sock’s honor.

hobgoblin of little minds February 21, 2009 at 11:35 pm

[re=248932]El Pinche[/re]: win

slinkimalinki February 21, 2009 at 11:38 pm

[re=248922]SayItWithWookies[/re]: mind you, calvin coolidge had a pygmy hippo…
and yes, r.i.p. socks.

Judas Peckerwood February 21, 2009 at 11:41 pm

After offing Vince Foster and Ron Brown, and performing various other “favors” for the Clintons, Socks gets foisted off on some former functionary? Bad form, Bill and Hill, bad form.

El Pinche February 21, 2009 at 11:45 pm

I’m disappointed that the ratio for Clinton/pussy jokes in this post is 1:6 right now.

jagorev February 21, 2009 at 11:56 pm

Ken – This is horrible smear journalism. Socks was very close to Betty Currie during his time in the White House, and they were very happy with each other. Prepare for Media Matters, Glenn Greenwald of the, DailyKos, and the Columbia Journalism Review to launch a fatwah on your ass.

Uncle Glenny February 22, 2009 at 12:05 am

[re=248929]lulzmonger[/re]: well, I don’t know about the fickle part; I heard that Currie was taken with Socks. In any event, it can be tough on some pets when the owner (I don’t know who of the Clintons Socks was most identified with) are away a lot.

I had a part siamese I raised from a kitten, and when she was about 8 I was a super-workaholic, and she was getting all bent out of shape, so I “temporarily” gave her to my parents (she and my father liked each other, and she’d always traveled by car with me to visit them). It was also a bigger house with lots of windows to look out to watch birds, and she could piss off my mother by knocking nick-nacks to the floor (she liked to see things fall). I never got her back, but she definitely was still bonded with me, even after one interval of nearly 3 years.

Uncle Glenny February 22, 2009 at 12:07 am

[re=248939]jagorev[/re]: Oh noes! Ken Greenwalded?! This is a job for Denby!

Vulpes82 February 22, 2009 at 12:12 am

Eh, Socks knew exactly what he was doing. Better to have a nice, quiet, pampered life with ol’ Bettie than endure the atmosphere of seething resentment and political ambition in the Clintons’ house (not to mention all the flying crockery). Look at poor Buddy: flinging himself in front of cars to gain the sweet relief of death!

Or, to channel the wingnuts for a second: ZOMG, TEH CLINTONZ KILLD HIM!1! hE NU WHO KILLD VINC FOSTER!1!!11

hobospacejungle February 22, 2009 at 12:17 am

Socks should’ve been the lifetime honorary chairkitty of Cats That Look Like Hitler. What a ‘stache!

RIP Socks — 18 years is a helluva life for a feline beast.

jon c February 22, 2009 at 12:32 am

killed by bosnian sniper fire. poor socks.

dennymcden February 22, 2009 at 12:40 am

Damn. That cat was a foreign policy GENIUS. However, it was his sekrit gehness that made him a true unsung hero in the Clinton White House. He shall be sorely missed by sekrit gehz everywhere.

SpikeyDog February 22, 2009 at 12:43 am

Should have expected this. Putting peace in the Middle East ahead of her kitty. You were an inspiration to all stray cats Socks. Even a stray can end up in the White House. Sniff…

Capitol Hillbilly February 22, 2009 at 1:03 am

[re=248929]lulzmonger[/re]: then they must be channeling Caitlan Flanagan (spiffy writer for Atlantic, etc). This was the reason she gave for no longer liking Hillary.

At any rate, Socks is now in a place where brakemen never throw hobos off trains, at least according to Jimmie Rodgers.

answerbird February 22, 2009 at 1:45 am

Socks, we hardly knew. Your meow on the internet was heard around the world.

Lionel Hutz Esq. February 22, 2009 at 1:45 am

Socks didn’t move in with Bill because Hillary told him that if they were to stay married, there would be absolutely no pussy.

[re=248911]Hedley Lamar[/re]: The Clinton Circle of Death ((c) 1995, Jerry Fawell) knows no boundaries.

However, Hannity has announced that Socks was offed because he was about to reveal the true depth of the Communist Conspiracy that controls the Clintons and Obama.

sanantonerose February 22, 2009 at 2:01 am

Best damn press secretary ever. I prefer the podium pic.

AxmxZ February 22, 2009 at 2:27 am

RIP, kitty. 19 years ain’t have bad!

Zorg February 22, 2009 at 2:53 am

At my wife’s high school, kids used to go to smoke pot at Checker’s grave. It was a very important life lesson. Where will Socks be buried?

2druk2phluq February 22, 2009 at 2:55 am

The sweetest pussy of the Clinton White House years has finally lost the battle with old age and time. Poor kitty. I now haz sad.

May the wind rise up behind your sails, Socks. May the light of sunshine smile down upon you. And may you linger forever in fields filled with flowers, and the spirits of the great cats who went before you.

villageatrois February 22, 2009 at 3:52 am

So Socks was just a photo-op prop, like Trig? Just a furrie-analog to make the Clingons seem (sorta) human?

rambone February 22, 2009 at 5:56 am

Kinda suspicious timing if you ask me, what with Hillary’s spot with the new hopemonger administration. The question is “What did Socks know and when did he know it?”

Serolf Divad February 22, 2009 at 6:01 am

I’ve just been hit by the realization that when I die, the world will take less notice of the fact than they did the death of this cat.

jean luc godard February 22, 2009 at 7:38 am

The bounce? No report on the bounce?

ifthethunderdontgetya" February 22, 2009 at 9:39 am

[re=248929]lulzmonger[/re]: The link at S,N!

Monsieur Grumpe February 22, 2009 at 9:50 am

Shit like that really brings out the hate in me. I adopted a cat (Dante) that has brain damage from abuse like that. I’d like to stick cage around the head of those kids and put Dante in there while he has one of his grand mall seizures. Dante is feline slobbering, biting, shredding and pissing machine while he flops around. Hope they get a cat loving judge.

Canmon (the Inadequate) February 22, 2009 at 10:01 am

What kind of person reads “Obit Magazine”? Though to be fair, I am intrigued by the article subtitled “The enduring pleasure of mocking the dead”.

WadISay February 22, 2009 at 10:14 am

Fourty comments and no KAN I HAZ ETERNUL REZT?

Cape Clod February 22, 2009 at 10:15 am

I always thought that looking after Socks was Al Gore’s responsibility.

TGY February 22, 2009 at 10:17 am

[re=248973]Serolf Divad[/re]: Yes, a sorry thing, isn’t it?

MarieDeGournay February 22, 2009 at 11:50 am

My wife had to put down our cat on Saturday due to cancer. She rescued him off the streets as a kitten. No one thought he would live, but she nursed him back to health, though he went blind from a fever. He ended up being a very fat ladies man: we called him the walking tea cozy. It’s good to know he will have good company on the other side.

Mr Blifil February 22, 2009 at 12:14 pm

Who wants to bet the gun found nearby was carefully wiped clean of prints?

SayItWithWookies February 22, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Ken Layne February 22, 2009 at 12:41 pm

[re=248929]lulzmonger[/re]: whatever, mark penn.

InKnockYouUs February 22, 2009 at 12:48 pm

Threadjack. Okay, I am like reading Huffington Post for maybe the second time and I come upon this writer who either is a wonketeer or has shamelessly lifted the (I used to say) inimitable Wonkette prose style. Who is this Jason Linkins fellow?

Custersdeadhorse February 22, 2009 at 12:59 pm

In honor of Socks, Hillary will wear a tuxedo pantsuit during her next photo-op.

SayItWithWookies February 22, 2009 at 1:02 pm

[re=248991]InKnockYouUs[/re]: By the sheerest coincidence, he happens to hang out with Ana Marie Cox and Liz Glover.

Bruno February 22, 2009 at 1:09 pm

How do the Pumas feel about this, or was the cat somehow a ‘pig’ and that’s why Hillz didn’t like her? (cheap photoshop of cat with pig nose anyone?)

Neilist February 22, 2009 at 1:10 pm

Personally, I love kids who kick cats to death.

In fact, I love them so much that one night in Hollywood I decided to share with two of them a piece of pipe that I found in the alley where they were playing.

It’s very satisfying to share, you know?

Although I’m pretty sure that the first one is having trouble with his knee to this day. But I’m sure I helped put the children of the dentist of second through college.

The bitch of it was, the cat was too far gone. So I had to kill it myself.

Which is why I feel so badly about that kneecap . . . .

(But at least it went to Cat Heaven, rather than having to live with Hillary “CatboxFace” Clinton.)

Bruno February 22, 2009 at 1:14 pm

I ventured over to Confluence & Pumapac for the first time since the bloodletting during the warblogging, and not a single mention of the poor cat. And they name themselves after a type of cat. They should be ashamed of themselves.

To recover from this I suggest a ThankugeorgeW type website so they can send their best regards to the cat

Lionel Hutz Esq. February 22, 2009 at 1:40 pm

[re=248980]WadISay[/re]: It is a well known fact that all creatures that lived and worked in the Clinton White House had their souls sold to our Great Lord Satan, just like in the Reagan White House. I mean, look at George Stephanopoulos. So eternal rest is not possible.

bitchincamaro February 22, 2009 at 1:45 pm

[re=248994]SayItWithWookies[/re]: And will liveblog the Oscars with Megan C. (our former AE), tonight. (Denby, DO NOT READ!)

nader paul kucinich gravel February 22, 2009 at 1:46 pm

Cats are like humans;

They do not like Carrots Sticks & Coercive Diplomacy.

fuckinredneck February 22, 2009 at 2:07 pm

[re=248945]hobospacejungle[/re]: It figures that the evil Clintons would have a hitlercat. HEIL CLINTON!

trondant February 22, 2009 at 2:29 pm

[re=248915]Atheist Nun[/re]: OK, who’s been fucking around with the list of Truman’s pets?

V572625694 February 22, 2009 at 2:32 pm

You’re all being species-ist and disrespectful: that cat’s correct name was “Socks Rodham Clinton.”

Dave Barry’s little joke, a good one.

So long little fella. You had a good run.

Dreamer February 22, 2009 at 3:03 pm

When I was a child and visiting my grandparents (from the terrorist muslim side) in Africa – my cousin told me that cats always land on their feet. To proof that theory I dropped the cat from the roof — needless to say my cousin was right. My grandmother told me that if I torture animals then I am going to hell – to cement this in my impressionable mind – she told me a story about a prostitute who was thirsty after a long wander in the desert – she had a little water left but came across a cat who was obviously hungry and thirsty – she gave her water to the cat. According to my grandmother the prostitute went to heaven for being kind to a cat. The moral of this story is that Betty Currie is going to heaven despite her cold assassination of Vince Foster.

MarieDeGournay February 22, 2009 at 3:12 pm

I like your grandmother, makes me wish I had terrorist muslim roots.

ladymacbeth February 22, 2009 at 3:21 pm

[re=248985]MarieDeGournay[/re]: i had to put my beloved fat pain in the ass 9 year old tabby down in december due to the cancers. it was so painful i still want to eviscerate karl rove, most televangelists and that santelli freak.

and i mean that in the best of ways.

my best to you and your wife.

Servo February 22, 2009 at 3:29 pm

So long, Socks.
May your eternity be filled with green, sticky catnip buds and lotsa furry mouse toys.

dijetlo February 22, 2009 at 3:39 pm

Socks was Clintons Chicom handler,just a Chinese midget from Lou Dong Dobba. The fact he looked like Hitler was an unforeseen consequence of the hair plugs. If he didn’t have pictures of Newt Gingrich shtupping the “Home Alone” kid in a Chucky Cheese (Security cam in the mens room-what can I say, the neighborhood “leans” heavily GOP), it all would have come out at the impeachment hearings. As it was, Clinton had to cop to sploogeing Monica, even though it was that damn Chinese midget hiding under the desk at the Oval Office (I mentioned he was Bills “handler”, right?”
All I can say is your lucky you didn’t end up in a big steaming plate of Lo Mein, Comrade “Yi-Mm-Tsi” (2-5 boy, Sorry you would have had to have been doing wet work for the company in Guanghzao during the cultural revolution to catch that one, my apologees)

scotack February 22, 2009 at 4:06 pm


Cherry Garcia February 22, 2009 at 4:17 pm

I most recently was adopted by a hungry stray who came to my door with a scraped nose, two teeth broken off and a broken knee. He is still terrified of male voices but has adapted to life “on the inside” and kindly allows me a small corner of the bed each night. Cats choose you, and they set the rules.

Sounds like Socks will have some Wonketter kitty company in heaven. RIP to them all.

Trace February 22, 2009 at 4:19 pm

Did you know Socks the Cat had a video game?

I have never forgiven Socks the Cat for this.

Magnus Maximus February 22, 2009 at 4:32 pm

Eso si que es.

marioninnyc February 22, 2009 at 4:52 pm

It’s very clear that Socks had a much better life with Currie than the Clintons. Anyone who knows anything about cats would get this. Cats love people they’re just choosy about which ones, and Socks clearly chose Curry who led a quiet life as a retired lady and had time to spend with kitty and a regular schedule. So stop the snark! In this case it’s just silly.

CivicHoliday February 22, 2009 at 4:54 pm

fare the well, mon petit chat…

you were the best of your family. only a PUMA, baby PUMA and self-aggrandizing old womanizer remain.

bitchincamaro February 22, 2009 at 5:18 pm

Soooooooooooocks : – (

smellyal8r February 22, 2009 at 6:08 pm

Socks, we hardly knew ye. You are now across the great divide, through the veil and happy. Mrs. Currie did what she must (and after watching the way Bill the C chased Buddy to his death, probably decided to not let Socks move back with them). The cat had a good life and, I’m sure in her second memoir, Mrs. Clinton’s staff will write that she remembers the cat fondly.

DoctorCulturae February 22, 2009 at 6:34 pm

[re=249029]smellyal8r[/re]: I can’t wait for the “during the grueling campaign I’d often sit down to a quieting cup of tea. Socks would come up and surprise me jumping onto my lap, purring affectionately. I knew then I had to hold out, never give in to the reality of the primary data, and stride triumphantly into the role destined for me by history: Queen of the Universe.”

Bearbloke February 22, 2009 at 6:55 pm

[re=248944]Vulpes82[/re]: I knew it!!! J’ACCUSE!!!11!!


grevillea February 22, 2009 at 7:39 pm

[re=248995]Bruno[/re]: Let’s see. Cats are devious, manipulative creatures, who value their own comfort and interests above all else. Their demeanor can flip in seconds from smarmy affection to hissing, clawing attack mode — neither of which reflects anything deeper than a cool tactical calculation of what is immediately expedient. So I’m guessing the PUMAs identify. Oh, and rubbing yourself with saliva as the main form of grooming, also, obviously.

Custerwolf February 22, 2009 at 7:58 pm

[re=248978]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: I hope Socks reincarnates as a sadistic prison guard assigned to the cell block where this little piece of shit and his videographer lose their virginity.

Jeweller February 22, 2009 at 8:55 pm

Marion is right. Socks was much better off with Mrs. Currie and without those a-holes. There are some people who should never bet pet owners because they are too wrapped up in themselves; same goes for some people having kids. Unfortunately, it almost never comes to pass. Rest in peace, Socks.

MarieDeGournay February 22, 2009 at 8:58 pm

[re=249011]ladymacbeth[/re]: thanks, and I’ll help you with the evisceration.

Scandalabra February 22, 2009 at 10:20 pm

Somewhere, over Asian airspace, Hillary is shedding a tear. A salty one into her Gimlet.

bhosp February 22, 2009 at 10:24 pm

[re=249036]grevillea[/re]: Well, yeah, hence their mascot. It’s a Puma. A cat.

El Pinche February 22, 2009 at 10:32 pm


Rush February 22, 2009 at 10:33 pm

What’s next? A pet monkey for Ms. Currey?

PsycGirl February 22, 2009 at 10:34 pm

[re=249037]Custerwolf[/re]: Seriously, that kind of stuff is very indicative of psychopathology. It’s very common for serial killers and other brutal criminals to get their start by harming animals for fun. Since they’re teenagers their cell opportunities may be limited, alas.
This thread is a little reminiscent of the election in that the normal snarkfest has been suspended for display of one’s soft fuzzy side.

dogscantlookup February 22, 2009 at 11:43 pm

this is a Clinton hit! they hired ALF, also

bago February 22, 2009 at 11:43 pm

[re=249025]bitchincamaro[/re]: Snaaaaaaaake!

slinkimalinki February 22, 2009 at 11:44 pm

[re=248989]SayItWithWookies[/re]: i’m beginning to have a crush on you.

dogscantlookup February 22, 2009 at 11:56 pm

One guy has 30 cats in his/her trailer,but a rich family can’t find one fucking room to lock that darn cat in. For shame! A year from now we will all wish we have cat numnums “hobo BBQ”

El Pinche February 23, 2009 at 1:15 am

[re=249057]slinkimalinki[/re]: get in line.

SayItWithWookies February 23, 2009 at 1:23 am

[re=249057]slinkimalinki[/re]: [re=249062]El Pinche[/re]: Aww shucks, you guys…

buggers February 23, 2009 at 4:01 am

Poor little kitteh!! We will miss you Socks; you were super cute and probably put up with a fair amount.

Anita Cocktail February 23, 2009 at 7:16 am

Socks was by far the best-looking of the Clinton family. And after living with that dysfunctional bunch for years, I am sure he gloried in his quiet, non-adulterous, recrimination-free retirement home. Rest in peace, fluffeh kitteh.

Vulpes82 February 23, 2009 at 9:13 am

Unless one or both back paws were white, which they may very well have been because I’m not sure I ever saw a picture of Socks where all four were visible, shouldn’t he have been named “Sock”? Because the right leg is more a wristband than a sock.

slithytoves February 23, 2009 at 9:26 am

[re=249083]Vulpes82[/re]: Mismatched socks.

norbizness February 23, 2009 at 10:04 am

You can have all the chocolate chicken pot pies in heaven you want, kitty.

As for Hitler cats, my grandparents’ next door neighboor actually had one named Hitler (here is a picture of me and my sister petting pure evil… it’s all their, from the mustache to the black ‘hair’ parted from left to right). That cat was always mewling about the mixed-breed cats across the street.

S.Luggo February 23, 2009 at 11:26 am

Vincent Foster
Ron Brown
James McDougal
Charlton Heston
Socks the Cat

The list grows.

S.Luggo February 23, 2009 at 11:33 am
Lionel Hutz Esq. February 23, 2009 at 11:41 am

[re=249013]dijetlo[/re]: So that is why we gave the Chinese all of our missile and catnip technology!

scotack February 23, 2009 at 12:32 pm

Today we are all pussies.

Atheist Nun February 23, 2009 at 3:48 pm

[re=248919]SayItWithWookies[/re]: When Bush bought that “ranch” as a prop, the cow was the ‘free gift with purchase’… It’s on the grill now, y’all!
[re=249007]trondant[/re]: WTF, right? Harry S. Truman: Monster Jungle X-ray – Boa Constrictor [citation needed] Maybe they weren’t talking about a Presidential pet, if you know what I mean, and I think you do!

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