Wonkette
- Nearly 20 years ago GM acquired Saab, a successful car company with a cult following of yuppies and professors. Now that Saab has been run into the ground along with all the other GM properties, the Swedish automaker has been cut loose and has filed for bankruptcy. That’s no way to treat a Swede. [New York Times]
- The right-wing Likud party leader Binyamin Netanyahu has been tapped by Israel’s president to be its next prime minister. Centrist Kadima party leader Tzipi Livni is most displeased. [Times Online]
- Hillary Clinton is in China today, hashing out some difficult affairs with our bankers. [AFP]
- People who live near fast-food restaurants are more likely to suffer diseases related to eating too much fast food. COINCIDENCE??? [US News and World Report]
- Gas is too cheap for anyone to care about green energy right now. [Washington Post]
- The roles that earned actresses Oscar nominations for Best Supporting Actress include a stripper and a nun, plus we have a Nazi in the Best Actress category. No characters with mental or physical disabilities, alas, or we would have the Oscar Quadrifecta of Pandering. Anyway, read more about Marisa Tomei and her g-string in the Wall Street Journal. [Wall Street Journal]
Swedish model - meet American model.
Hey where are all the tortured artists this year? You know Hollywood always loves a beloved painter/musician/writer who just can’t stop shooting heroin or molesting piglets.
“Quadrifecta of Pandering” is simply brilliant. Too brilliant for this early in the morning. No reason to get up at 5am to read through and summarize all this stuff! You forgot Politico ALREADY OWNS THE MORNING. FAIL.
N8Ma: Heath Ledg…oh.
“People who live near fast-food restaurants are more likely to suffer diseases related to eating too much fast food. ”
Duh. It’s called the “Fuck it. I’m too fucking lazy to cook so I’m going to Wendy’s” Syndrome.
Nate Silver has already figure out who is going to win the Oscars, so face it, all the suspense is over.
http://nymag.com/movies/features/54335/
(1) I tried thinking of an American analogue to Bibi Netanyahu (i.e. somebody who loves warmongering but doesn’t really even attempt to act like it’s a tough call or pretend to reflect on his decisions), and the only person I could think of was crazy-ass “B-1″ Bob Dornan.
(2) Kate Winslet probably wishes she hadn’t made that episode of Extras where she “appeared” to be an “Oscar-grubbing” “phony.”
Frank Langella played a whore.
Perhaps SAAB can garner some interest from IKEA so we can haz 900s with brightly colored canvas seats and white maple trim.
Mayor McCheese drives a Saab, but he’s not a Nazi.
Naked Marissa Tomei is almost enough reason to see that film. Almost. Two hours of watching fat, naked men sweat and grope each other…oh,sorry, forgot where I was.
Wow, what a coincidence: getting whipped by a Nazi stripper nun with a riding crop just happens to be one of my personal S&M fantasies.
Ah, Marisa, my darling! You’re perfect. No, no, don’t say a word. You’re perfect.
Now that Saab has been run into the ground along
It’s a real Saab story. Well, somebody had to say it. Or not.
Uhm, Frank Langella played our ACTUALLY CRAZY former drunkard and pill-addled president Richard Milhous Nixon?
A G-string article at the WSJ is a perfect example of the Murdoch effect. I’d like to see Nate Silver’s odds on how long it will take him to put his anchor bunnies at Faux News in G-Strings. Then we can sit back and enjoy more blue scrotum stories.
Serolf Divad: Sorry to tell you, this but I suspect it’s also the favorite fantasy of Katherine Jean Lopez.
Move the comma one word to right, Moran. (Oh, when will the edit comments feature finally be a part of Wonkette?)
Nicole Kidman in Moulin Rouge! Mmmmmm. Moulin Rouge! is second in leaving my mouth agape only to Adaptation.
The Boy in the Stripped Winslet was ok, but not as good as Man I’d Like to Kill, the sensitive, moving biopic about some fag who got offed.
norbizness: Kate Winslet probably wishes she hadn’t made that episode of Extras where she “appeared” to be an “Oscar-grubbing” “phony.”
That was a truly awesome cameo and pretty much the truth as we see this year. She seems to have a sense of humor so I doubt she’ll have any regrets. My only regret is she’s lost too much weight. Her husband has a series of way too skinny chicks in his past and he seems to be working his evil voodoo on our formerly lusciously curvy Kate.
Also, I volunteer to sit in a bathtub and read to her whenever she needs. I’m always available.
Thanks for the image of pathetic WSJ readers fapping to the Tomei story.
Dey can haz cheezburgers. So dey duz.
“Hillary Clinton is… hashing out some difficult affairs.”
Will Hillary ever forgive Bill?
Saab story - oho, I get it! HA!
Hey, so, what’s the difference between Sweden and China? Six letters and five months. No! Five letters and six months. Whatever. It’s funny, right?
“In a move that will cause huge disappointment in Washington, President Shimon Peres confirmed that [Israel has pretty much decided on a Final Solution for all those pesky, b.o.-ridden Pakistanis--er, Palestinians who've been annoying all the fatassed Holy People for the last 61 years].”
Too much financial news, not enough stripper info.
“People who live near fast-food restaurants are more likely to suffer diseases related to eating too much fast food. ”
I live next a block from the gym and health food store, yet look at me.
Oh, yeah, there is that bar next door too
You know things are f*cked up in the Middle East when the party founded by Ariel Sharon is described as centrist. Time to start hoarding Xanax for the coming apocalypse.
Um correct me if i’m wrong but didnt Kadima get more votes?
Yay! I can finally be a libtard, Snaab-driving, latte-sipping, professor-type yuppie again!
Centrist Kadima party leader Tzipi Livni is most displeased.
But what did Tzipi Tehlippi say? (That is payback for the Saab story)
Advocatus_Diaboli: Get an older Saab 900 if you want to be an echt Snaab. Any 900 made before 1995, in the ‘classic’ body style. The convertibles are teh hawt, and getting cheap these days. They’re a dime a dozen in the Seattle area anyway. The 9000’s are pretty sweet too, and a much more practical, modern car, if you can live with the electrical bugaboos.
Trust me, there WILL be bugaboos - I own one. Currently on the ‘to fix’ list: electric door locks, dome light, radio antenna upper-downer thing, and (in my dreams) electric seat heater. I gave up on the electronic heater control and just jury rigged an old choke cable to make the heat come on.
Also, the turbo models are pretty zoomy and get great gas mileage.
Marisa Tomei is hoping that her performance as a pole dancer will lead to other feature film roles (her previous Oscar seems not to have been enough of an inducement to producers and directors). She’s quoted as saying: “My aim in the film was to honor the women I met and to represent them in a meaningful way.” Seems like she’s only scratched the surface, in terms of in-depth, meaty acting challenges from the gritty, searing soul of the red light district. I’m looking forward to “Confessions of a Bukkake-holic” coming to a theatre near you.
Mr Blifil:
Only if Bukkake is a comic book character. Imagine THAT costume design.
“a successful car company with a cult following of yuppies and professors”
huh, I thought that was Volvo. Damn you Ford! Then again, if Barry adopts the Swedish solution for our bank problems, then I guess following the same paradigm, we’ll eventually bankrupt Sweden, or at least Ikea.
And working in the WSJ-hated, liberal entertainment industry, we’re only talking about 3 movies vs. what, thousands of PG movies… Times are tough, skin sells. The more the better. … Also, stripper > nun. And Ms. Tomei: 40yr old tatas with a G-string. That was perfection! ‘Take those golden globes, Winslet’.
Lascauxcaveman:
I’ve had an ‘85 and ‘91 - both 900 turbos. Hated to part with the last one but I moved to a place that requires all wheel drive. I’ll wait out the bankruptcy of Saab and buy one in about 5 years, when they’ll have stopped making Swedish Buicks.
recharged95: Marisa Tomei is, gulp, 44? Holy mother of god. I thought my 36-year-old wife looks good (she does) but damn. Most actresses wouldn’t dare show their boobies at that age. All hail the youthful boobie queen, Marisa Tomei.
But no need to knock the heavenly Ms. Winslet. I’d read to her in a bathtub any ol’ day.
The gheyz ruined SAAB for Real Americans. Just like, who’s going to want to get married if the gheyz can do it? Shameless butt-burglars.
Servo: …and take it home in a flat box and spend the weekend putting it together on the living room floor. oh what funz!
I long for the day Marisa comes back to As The World Turns–along with Meg Ryan, Julianne Moore, Amanda Seyfried, Parker Posey, Mary McDonnell, Ming-Na, Kelly Bishop, Andy Williams, Kathleen Widdoes (oh wait, she never left here . . . )
“Marisa Tomei and her g-string” as in El Pinche’s dental floss?