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THE FORGOTTEN

McCain’s Sex Lobbyist Drops Lawsuit Against Liberals

John McCain’s sexytime lobbyist friend, Vicki Iseman, has dropped her $27 million suit against the New York Times over a story last year which implied-but-not-really that she and WALNUTS! used to fuck all the time. Times Washington bureau chief Dean Baquet e-mailed the news to his staff in a rather pissy memo: “Vicki Iseman has dropped her lawsuit against The Times, just weeks after it was filed. We paid no money. We did not apologize. We did not retract one word of the story, which was a compelling chapter in the tale of Senator John McCain and his political rise.” If that clown lady has a problem, she can go suck an egg. [Michael Calderone]


4:51 PM on Thu February 19 2009
By Jim Newell
1349 Views

  1. ManchuCandidate says at 4:59 pm, February 19th, 2009

    “If that clown lady has a problem, she can go suck an egg.”

    Corrected:
    “If that clown lady has a problem, she can go suck McCain.”

  2. soytrucknutz says at 5:00 pm, February 19th, 2009

    The best part is that WALNUTS! never ever had to apologize to America for fucking a pretty blonde lady all the time, which we are reminded of every time Meghan McCain writes a new piece of “journalism” for The Daily Beast.

  3. I kind of thought she was pretty, but it looks like rich wins out in the long run.

  4. Atheist Nun says at 5:01 pm, February 19th, 2009

    So, I’m confused… does this mean that she is a cunt?

  5. Texan Bulldoggette says at 5:02 pm, February 19th, 2009

    She Really doesn’t want anyone thinking her & Walnuts used to get it on, but I think she realized the NYT doesn’t have .27 cents to give her, much less $27M.

  6. He sure has a type.

  7. SayItWithWookies says at 5:11 pm, February 19th, 2009

    That statement by Iseman’s lawyers is pure self-serving crap. Apparently they’re happy with the civilized resolution of the (quite baseless) suit and are interested in fostering a debate about the line between a public citizen and a private citizen. Always thinking of higher principles, these lawyers.

  8. Lascauxcaveman says at 5:13 pm, February 19th, 2009

    Iseman? Isn’t she the one in “Confessions of a Shopaholic?” I figured she’d be yunger looking.

  9. sarcasticusername says at 5:17 pm, February 19th, 2009

    i hope she got something good in exchange for playing with walnuts’ wrinkly old balls, because i can’t imagine what would ever be good enough to make that shit worthwhile.

  10. AngryBlakGuy says at 5:21 pm, February 19th, 2009

    …I cant believe that woman allowed WALNUTS! to stick his dried of beef jerky penis into her va-jay-jay!?!?

  11. Lazy Media says at 5:22 pm, February 19th, 2009

    Political rise, heheh. You know, like an erection, geddit? Heh. The New York Times is so dirty.

  12. teebob2000 says at 5:25 pm, February 19th, 2009

    Why does he only bang lizard-women from space??

  13. Iggy Plop says at 5:31 pm, February 19th, 2009

    So what happened? Did they sit her down and show her some incriminating in flagrante photographs? If so, GOOD GOD THE HORROR that’s been captured on film. YEEesh. I’m still shivering from that thought. Sex w/ Walnuts = major creepy.

  14. The Cold Sea says at 5:40 pm, February 19th, 2009

    I bet Cindy is really happy she paid for that dress. Of fuck, who am I kidding, now that the election is over and Walnuts! will never be preznit of teh America, they can just go back to business as usual.

  15. ToeCramps says at 5:51 pm, February 19th, 2009

    This quater-diamond hoe had nothing coming! Why she would even let a peg leg like Walnuts hit - is beyond desperation! I should sue this hoe for $27 mil for the foul visual I just had!

  16. sevenrepeat says at 5:52 pm, February 19th, 2009

    so now she’s a 27 million dollar hooker. if i really wanted her 2 cents i’d raise my pimp hand and smack it out of her.

  17. grevillea says at 6:14 pm, February 19th, 2009

    C’mon, the election was months ago. Her lawyers probably did some market research and found 99 of 100 potential jurors could not recall ever hearing of (a) the NYT or (b) anyone named John McCain, so no prospect of big damages.

  18. thefrontpage says at 6:27 pm, February 19th, 2009

    What if Vicki Iseman and Ann Coulter and Cindy McCain were all the same person?

    Really, has anyone seen the three of them together at the same place at the same time?

    Hmmm….

  19. Unindicted Co-Conspirator says at 6:31 pm, February 19th, 2009

    The original article was a gift to McCain!
    It came after he had wrapped up the nomination while the Dems were still fighting it out & long before the election.
    McCain’s anger about it was bullshit, & hers was just an attempt to screw the Times out of a few bucks

  20. Mr Blifil says at 7:04 pm, February 19th, 2009

    Bwahaahaa! She fucked McCain and forgot to get paid for it. Now she has to go down to the underpass and compete with the trannies for regular Johns. Just to try to reclaim her self-respect.

  21. grevillea: Did you mean “…the ERECTION was months ago.”?

  22. She was outraged, insulted and libeled by the NYT story … but chickens out when they call her bluff and her lawyers spin that she the winner. Gotta believed the NYT would never have touched that story if they could not back it up while millions of dollars and their troubled reputation riding on the verdict.

  23. Vanity Smurf says at 7:36 pm, February 19th, 2009

    No whore diamonds for you, Vicki.

    You’d think a Republican would know to always get her money up front.

  24. McCain’s relationship with this chick should have never made the news. I mean, yeah, of course she was blowing his withered old man parts, but he really doesn’t strike me as the sort to reciprocate. No quid pro quo = where’s the scandal?

  25. IceCreamEmpress says at 8:36 pm, February 19th, 2009

    Poor Vicki.

    First she got screwed by Walnuts, and then by the Gray Lady.

    She should consider the cougaring.

    Also, she looks like Wayland Flowers’s puppet.

  26. Jukesgrrl says at 8:46 pm, February 19th, 2009

    Did someone find the smoking blue dress?

  27. slinkimalinki says at 9:05 pm, February 19th, 2009

    hell, everyone already knew that maverick and iseman were banging. (that jokes been used like a million times, right?)

  28. Bearbloke says at 9:36 pm, February 19th, 2009

    Mr Blifil: and defeat the lingering odor….

  29. Vanity Smurf: That’s right. Girls, get the rocks up front!

  30. My guess is that Vicki started thinking about settling when she got the first set of interrogatories from the NYT:

    Interrogatory #1. Did John McCain get to first base with you?

    Interrogatory #2. Did John McCain get to second base with you?

    Interrogatory #3. Stinky-finger?

    Interrogatory #4. a. Oral? b. Anal?

    Interrogatory #5. Have you at any time put on leather high heel boots and dominated the living shit out of John McCain?

    This and the subpoena to take McCain’s deposition.

  31. IceCreamEmpress says at 10:11 pm, February 19th, 2009

    shaman: That’s right. Girls, get the rocks up front!

    If you like it then you should have put a ring on it
    If you like it then you should have put a ring on it
    Don’t be mad when you see it in the newspaper
    If you like it then you should have put a ring on it

    All you single lobbyists
    All you single lobbyists
    All you single lobbyists
    All you single lobbyists
    Put your hands up

  32. lawrenceofthedesert says at 10:28 pm, February 19th, 2009

    John McCain, the Bill Clinton wannabe…

  33. gradgrind says at 10:48 pm, February 19th, 2009

    Oh, she’s got bigger fish than the NYT to fry — namely, whoever she can sue for her fourth place finish in the Cindy McCain Lookalike Contest (”Natural Look” Division). Because unless that photo’s lying, Miss Iseman can have suffered no more damaging fate. “The horror . . . !”

  34. pinko-commie says at 12:11 am, February 20th, 2009

    McCain cannot have sex because parts of his diseased flesh would fall off on contact. That must be what happened to his face.

  35. teebob2000: Alas, she was the last best hope of the Lizard People.

  36. Magnus Maximus says at 1:50 am, February 20th, 2009

    slinkimalinki: Thanks for doing it so I didn’t have to.

  37. It’s pronounced ISEEman.

  38. Lizard slut!

  39. proudcitizen says at 8:26 am, February 20th, 2009

    ManchuCandidate: It’s pretty much the same thing.

  40. greywindz says at 10:31 am, February 20th, 2009

    Mccain? The poor invalid retired hurt GI soul who can’t raise his right hand? Same one? Temme I’m wrong…

  41. I think what’s more unsettling is the fact that Dakota Fanning of the future found a way to travel backwards in time and strike up an inappropriate relationship with poor John McCain. IT’S DAKOTA FANNING TRAVELING THROUGH TIME, PEOPLE!

  42. suchsweetthunder says at 12:51 pm, February 20th, 2009

    Have we completely ruled out the possibility that McCain merely mistook Dear Vicki for Dear Cindy, ala a bad ’80s sitcom? I’m not saying, I’m just saying.

  43. Links: My type is “bipedal”.

  44. Can someone explain why $27m was decided as the lucky number?

    It seems she would have a better shot of trying to get $27m from Cindi. At least beer sells during depressions, or so I’m told.

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