Rockin' the suburbsGOP Chairman Michael Steele is proving to be pretty goddamn tiresome already and he has been running the party for what, minus five minutes? After explaining to George Stephanopoulos how “jobs” are different from “work,” he then gave this big long interview with the Washington Times that was likewise so jam-packed with mockable bullshit that it is hard to see what a person with a satirical blog-writing “job” is supposed to do with it.

To wit:

Newly elected Republican National Committee Chairman Michael S. Steele plans an “off the hook” public relations offensive to attract younger voters, especially blacks and Hispanics, by applying the party’s principles to “urban-suburban hip-hop settings.”

The RNC’s first black chairman will “surprise everyone” when updating the party’s image using the Internet and advertisements on radio, on television and in print, he told The Washington Times.

Of course he doesn’t say how exactly he is going to convince a bunch of young black and Hispanic city-dwellers that the party of the white rural South really has their interests in mind (Truck Nutz?), but whatever, you don’t need a plan when you are CRAZY.

Also he says this terribly offensive thing about amputees and little people: “we need to uptick our image with everyone, including one-armed midgets.” Why is Michael Steele so full of hate?

Steele: GOP needs ‘hip-hop’ makeover [Washington Times]

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  1. I shudder to think what the GOP image of “urban-suburban hip-hop settings” is. This will be the most unintentionally offensive thing ever.

  2. He needs those shades because the future is sooooo bright for the GOP.

    How did the Whig Party die again? This is a great opportunity for Gary Bauer or Alan Keyes to get them back on the path to righteous righty-ness!

  3. On a non-satirical note, he doesn’t really care if they get any young black or Hispanic kids to vote GOP, the entire point of what he’s doing is to give the 65 year old white GOP voters a semi-plausible line of defense when some Obama 2012 supporter accuses them of being racist.

    On a satirical note, I really cannot fucking wait to see what kind of music they’ll play at these events. “Ok, you dope cats, here’s the lastest phat beats and dope lyrics from the jiggiest rapper out there, Young MC!”

  4. Maybe they can offer MC Hammer some day-old bread in exchange for his cutting a rap medley declaring that John McCain is 2 Legit to Quit, telling people that he knows Lindsey Graham will get it started, and responding to the issue of holding Bush Administration members accountable for international war crimes with a simple “U Can’t Touch This.”

  5. [re=247072]Dave J.[/re]: I think the GOP notion of with-it urban music is the Village People. (The ones who attend the basketball games around here all know the hand signals for YMCA).

  6. Fuck tha libruls
    Comin straight from Georgetown
    Young nigga got it bad cuz I’m brown
    And not the other color so libruls think
    They have the authority to help a minority

  7. “People who said I can’t make the trains run on time never gave a reason.”

    Zey didn’t mean it, Michael — zey vere only following orders.

  8. Yo Non white Bros let’s kick it

    Steele Steele baby (x2)
    All right stop collaborate and listen
    Steele is back with my brand new Republican
    Failure grabs a hold of me tightly
    Flow like a foot tap daily and nightly
    Will it ever stop yo I don’t know
    Turn off the lights and he’ll blow
    To the extreme I’ll wreck the party like a vandal
    Light up a stogie and rape a chump with a broom handle
    Placate Rush or the fat ass will boom
    I’m killing your brain like a lead filled toy
    Deadly when I say a dopey
    Anything we do will be a felony
    Love it or leave it you better gain weight
    You better spread bullshit so the kid don’t play
    If there was a problem yo I’ll solve it
    Ignore the racism as my staff spins it

    Steele Steele baby Republican (x4)

  9. gunna git us somma that hippity hoppity all them kids talk about, then we can be cool like that obama asshole.


    some of michael steele’s best friends are black.

  10. “I’m representin’ for the right wing all across the world (Steele!)
    Hittin’ them corners in them 3-piece suits, girl – whoops, I mean, woman (Steele!)
    Takin’ my time to perfect the roll-out of my high impact marketing campaign,
    But I still got love for the urban-suburban hip-hop settings.
    It’s the R.N.C.”


  11. Michael Steele is an ass clown! A Repug ass clown – mind you! How will this idiot teach a bunch of old, fart happy bigots how to drop it like it’s hot? Bleh.

  12. I’m sure when the GOP was voting on the Party Chairman, these were the sort of bold initiatives they were hoping for. The problem could come when the NRA supporters show up for outreach in the inner city neighborhoods and attempt to carry out tarring, feathering, hog-tying and lynchings. Might muddy the message Steele is hoping to send. Which is basically “if you work at Mickey D’s and sent Obama $10 last year, could you do the same for us kthanxbai…”

    OK GOP operatives, you covered your asses, now back to the cocksmoking.

  13. This is like when every commercial on TV, including like “stranger danger” warnings and Smokey the Bear was made into a rap in the 90s. The GOP has finally caught up to the early 90s. They’re nipping at our heels!! Now if Michael Steele could do Homey the Clown, I might think about switching parties.

  14. First, why is there a picture of a devil whore pig on Wonkette? Second, let us all remember that the RNC did a fine job of fooling people into thinking they gave a shit about anyone besides rich white people when we elected Ronald Reagan and the both the Georges Bush.

  15. So line about one-armed little people wasn’t a joke. Huh. I think I kinda like this guy.

    I wonder how many gigs of tentacle pron he has on his work PC.

  16. So Michael Steele sees the GOP problem being fixed by public relations not policy change?
    May I suggest creating a cartoon character for the campaign, ‘Negrito, the Republican Dog.’ You won’t believe the crazy situations he gets into.

  17. [re=247135]loquaciousmusic[/re]: Ygad! Believe it or not, about a week ago I just found that CD and listened to it all the way through. It’s bad, but whatever Todd’s rapping sins, he has enough good works behind him that he doesn’t deserve being thrown to the RNC.

  18. [re=247160]One Yield Regular[/re]: Oh, it’s one of my secretly-favorite Todd albums. And for some reason, I don’t think Todd Rundgren is a Republican. Call it a hunch.

  19. [re=247090]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Nice lyrics. But nothing will ever compare to Jim Carey’s performance on In Living Color. “White, white, baby. So very white, white baby.” How appropriately Republican is that!

  20. Couple things:
    1. The GOP’s gonna teach black people to disenfranchise themselves?
    2. Who would be the celebrity spokesmen? Mike Tyson? JJ Walker? Flava Flav? (j/k. Flav’s got too much self respect for that)
    3. Speaking of Flava Flav: the GOP could do a reality show where they get a bunch of trashy, desperate women to vie for a chance to marry the party (spoiler: Since none of the contestants is an underage boy, the GOP will not be interested. But they will choose the one with no visible emotions, crazy eyes, and a large inheritance.)

  21. He said “one-armed midgets,” but he meant “one-eyed jews.” It was a shout out to the only other black Republican ever, Sammy Davis, Jr. You libruls ain’t even giving Mr. Steele a chance. Why y’all so racist?

    The Party of Lincoln AND Malkin

  22. Seriously?? What the GOP needs is a list of things not to say. Starting with phrases that include “magic” or “one-armed”. And what exactly is an “urban-suburban hip-hop setting”? North Jersey? Perhaps a move away from the intolerant and ignorant southern base of the party would be a better start? Or not. I’m sure all the black and hispanic urban-suburban hip-hopinites will get along fine with Rush and the rest of the party. And what about the gays? I hear they tend to live in these urbanish areas. Oh right – fuck them.

  23. Well, according to Wikipedia, there are only 102 African American Republicans, surely one of them must still own some HammerPants™?

    I really, really hope the results of this endeavor include some clunky, embarrassing lyrics and at least one old white man pouring out a 40 on the steps of the Capitol building…

    We’re The GOP and we’re here to say
    That black people shouldn’t run the other way
    But instead embrace our outdated policies here today
    la la la something that rhymes with today!

  24. [re=247135]loquaciousmusic[/re]: The GOP rank and file need to be acclimated slowly into rap, starting with Rappin’ Ronald Reagan novelty song of the mid-80s, proceeding through Jackie Mason, that French toddler Jordy, and then onto somewhat dodgy white people, like Debbie Harry (Rapture) or Adam and the Ants (Antrap). Finally, they can break the color barrier with The Fresh Prince and the fat guy from the Blu-Blockers ad.

  25. And he launches his campaign to attract young people and minorities with an interview in the Washington Times, which is widely read within the Washington Times newsroom and among those married en masse by the Times’ owner, da Rev Moonie. Real breakout thinking, there, Steele.

  26. So the GOP is embracing the lipstick on a pig strategy.

    I hope they don’t abandon the “The Magic Negro” songs. They went over really well with young black and hispanic voters.

  27. The one black republican with any self-respect and dignity is Powell. Powell endorsed Obama, and was cursed by Rush and the rest of his party. Ergo, young black Americans will flock away from this man of strength and experience to Steele and his midget-slammin’, happy-rappin’, money hoardin’, water boardin’ ways. Oh yeah. This white girl can rhyme.

  28. Steele plans an “off the hook” public relations offensive to attract younger voters …

    “Off the hook.” You mean like “unhinged,” only more so?

  29. But seriously, nobody likes republicans. The nerdy loser can’t just invite the cool kids to his house and expect to be cool because of it.

    He’s gotta pay the hottest girl in school (Rahm Emmanuel) to go out with him for a week, then do African dances at the spring formal. Only then will he be cool.

  30. I’m sorry, I temporarily went blind and deaf, and vomited for about five minutes as soon as I read ‘off the hook’. I can’t remember anything that happened in the past week except those words and their assault on my senses. I’m too scared to read the rest of the game plan.

  31. Oh wait, he said “I don’t do ‘cutting-edge’, that’s what Democrats are doing. We’re going beyond cutting-edge.”

    Wow. ‘Beyond cutting-edge’ would be bleeding-edge. As in unsustainable growth, and billion-dollar technology that would have been fifty dollars next year. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised anymore that no Republicans think about what they say.

  32. [re=247246]Tra[/re]: “Off the hook.” You mean like “unhinged,” only more so?

    Naw, it’s “Off the hook” as in: “Oh shit, the GOP is calling again, just let it go to voicemail, then we’ll take the phone off the hook.”

  33. To (mis)quote Trotsky:

    “a soporific for an aging,
    geriatric [party]…
    comic relief for the death
    rattle of a [philosophy]”…

    At least Louis XVI and
    Nicholas II had good looking

  34. I swear to God when I read this on I thought I had accidentally navigated over to wonkette. Michael Steele is very obviously trying to put you out of business…

  35. Epic thread.

    This is the political equivalent of a random white guy walking into a South Side Chicago bar and saying Y HLO THAR, MY HOMIEZ! hoping the brothas will heap love on him.

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