Firebug Peter Orszag Nearly Burnt Down Office

  romantical working weekends gone wrong

One of the lesser-known members of President Obama’s cabinet is a young hipster with clever glasses named Peter Orszag. As the budget director, he does things with numbers and money. And he has shown that despite his heavy math nerd cred, he is also capable of conversing with other humans in a pleasant manner, which makes him an invaluable Congressional negotiator. In other words, Peter Orszag is proving to be quite the catch! Except that he already tried to destroy his office.

In it, a small red sofa and two hard wooden armchairs face a marble fire place. When Orszag arrived for his first weekend of work on a snowy January day, there were logs neatly stacked.

“It still seemed a little suspicious. So I lit a piece of paper to see if it vented,” Orszag said. The smoke went up the chimney.

“So then we lit a few logs. It was venting. It was fine,” he said. The only problem: The Secret Service had capped the building’s chimneys. Smoke alarms started going off upstairs, and the building was evacuated.

Let’s clone this guy and use the extra to replace Larry Summers.

Budget to kick off health care rewrite [Politico]

Share This
 
Related video

About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

View all articles by Sara K. Smith

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

41 comments

  1. madtowngooner

    As most people have already noted, this happened on the West Wing. Just how much of this administration is going to mirror that show? Is Michelle injecting steroids into Barry’s bum? Is Rahm an alcoholic? Is Nancy Pelosi John Goodman?

  2. Mr Blifil

    Get a brain, moran.

    I suppose he availed himself of the chamber pot and the bedpan as well, just to allay his natural suspicions. And he probably uses lamb skin condoms, for when the mulled wine and mutton break down the resistance of his quarry.

  3. Come here a minute

    Cheney did the same thing in the OEOB, except it was with memos about illegal wiretapping, detention, and torture.

  4. actor212

    As much as I admire the guy’s spunk and self-reliance, couldn’t he have asked if the damn fireplace worked first?

  5. Doglessliberal

    Orszag?? Clearly Middle European, probably Croat Muslin, and thus, clearly, a Muslin terrorist trying to burn down the USA.

  6. Doglessliberal

    Or, and this seems more likely, it was the raccoons. Has anyone seen them lately? They could well be conspiring with those renegade beavers that were loose around the Tidal Pool last year.

    Are raccoons and beavers Muslin?

  7. WadISay

    Nate Silver does not take heat, light and energy as we do; he plugs himself directly into the wall socket, and probably contains his own power source.

  8. frumious_bandersnatch

    Does this mean I’ve already missed the episode where Obama cusses out the religious right and then tells Dr. Laura to eat a bag of dicks? ‘Cuz I’ve been waiting for that!

  9. Links

    Ah, I don’t know if I can trust a Democrat who hasn’t seen every episode of the West Wing to work in the White House. On the other hand, if that means we have a real Josh (not Sam, please) in the WH and he will relive every Josh storyline in real life, I cannot wait for him to visit his own fan website, call his fans morons and fall in love with his cute assistant while crushing Congressional Republicans day in and day out.

  10. gjdodger

    Actually, this reminds me of one of Dave Barry’s greatest one liners–”A Democrat is someone who’ll stop to help you change a tire and end up setting your car on fire.”

  11. 102415

    I dream of a WBF. Sometimes I have to light some small sticks and papers on fire in a frying pan to relieve the pressure when the burning log video stops working.

  12. pondscum

    [re=246954]frumious_bandersnatch[/re]: I love it when he crushes Dr. Laura. We refer to that as the crab puff episode.

  13. Links

    [re=246966]PerhapsSo[/re]: you had to go ruin my fantasy, didn’t you? I had wilfully ignored that part! Alright then, this is Josh with a twist, he doesn’t get shot or dye his hair.

  14. operation limey

    Is this Peter Orszag character with the hipster glasses the creepy dude in the LifeLock ad below the story? If so, that’s creepy.

  15. loquaciousmusic

    Listen, guys. He was just bringing a little hipster Talking Heads reference to the White House. Next thing you know, he’ll be walking around asking everyone, “Qu’est-ce que c’est?”

  16. BadKitty

    He didnt start the fire
    It was always burning
    Since the worlds been turning
    He didn’t start the fire
    No he didnt light it
    But he tried to fight it … ad nauseum

  17. lennixlewis

    I needed a sexy hipster looking picture of this Peter Orszag character, Wonkette, the wikipedia one is BORING.

    (can we scrap the West Wing references and think about if there was a spinoff of just his character and maybe Nate Silver as his sidekick solving political riddles using the numberz?)

  18. heroinmule

    That’s kind of adorable. He seems like a lovable nerd. I think this also an episode of The Office (“Ryan started the fire!!!”).

  19. Doglessliberal

    [re=247029]loquaciousmusic[/re]: Well, we already had a Psycho Killer, and he might still be in an underground bunker on Observatory Hill.

  20. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Didn’t he get the memo that the sacrifices to Ba’al would be done en masse in the court yard, and that there was no need to do one in his office?

  21. S.Luggo

    Orszag has pocket-protectors for his pocket-protectors.

    That piece of paper he used to test the chimblee came from the Stimulus Bill. Tough titties, Oklahoma.

  22. bitchincamaro

    His mentor, Mr. Rubin, was allowed to burn down Citigroup, the least BHO can let him destroy is his own office. And he’s ugly.

Comments are closed.