ANTICLIMACTIC  3:06 pm February 18, 2009

Sean Hannity’s Dumb Puzzle Solved Immediately

by Jim Newell

Known anus Sean Hannity has a new feature on his Fox News television program, Hannity & Death, in which he peels off a piece of a big puzzle every day for Obama’s first 100 days in office. Behind the puzzle is a picture which will — according to the web producer of Hannity’s “The Great American Blog,” which is also a common nom de guerre for Wonkette — “reveal the true Barack Obama underneath.” So it was up for a few days before the entire Internet figured it out. Shocking visual commentary, below!

Here’s a .gif from Something Awful, which has a comical guessing thread up:

Get it? After 100 days, we’ll realize that Barack Obama’s JUST ANOTHER POLITICIAN like the Clintons, Bill and Hillary and Chelsea, too, who couldn’t make that particular photo. And also like the Clintons, Barack Obama’s first 100 days will hit some road blocks along the way — namely, Republicans who have no interest in anything beyond winning a few seats back in the midterms.

Hannity’s 100 Days Advent Calendar Solved? [Daily Kos]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 56 comments }

shanemacgowan February 18, 2009 at 3:12 pm

Knowing Hannity, I’m guessing that the picture underneath will be a cartoon of a bleeding chimp.

Serolf Divad February 18, 2009 at 3:12 pm

Please, God, let Sean Hannity be wrong. I don’t know how I could take another 8 years of the largest peacetime economic expansion in our nation’s history. I was so looking forward to the coming depression and all the hobo hotties with their starving babies it would bring.

Lascauxcaveman February 18, 2009 at 3:13 pm

(Spoiler Alert!)

Hamster February 18, 2009 at 3:15 pm

Lame, could’ve at least made it funny. I kinda thought it was going to be Bin Laden.

4tehlulz February 18, 2009 at 3:18 pm

ZOMG SPOILERZ

keepinitrealyo February 18, 2009 at 3:21 pm

I’m thinking around day 50 it’s going to be mighty hard to keep the surprise – then it’s another 50 days of wasted daypart.

grendel February 18, 2009 at 3:21 pm

[re=246307]Serolf Divad[/re]: Win, Sir. WIN!

rambone February 18, 2009 at 3:23 pm

I’m pretty sure that’s Chelsea’s unappealing visage beneath Hillz’s arm.

Aurelio February 18, 2009 at 3:25 pm

“Known anus Sean Hannity….” Congrats Jim. That’s pure comedic genius. Do things like that just come into your mind? Whadda gift!

rambone February 18, 2009 at 3:25 pm

[re=246329]keepinitrealyo[/re]: Once again overestimating the intelligence of the average Hannity viewer.

ManchuCandidate February 18, 2009 at 3:25 pm

I thought Inshannity was going to tell us who the last Cylon was.

SayItWithWookies February 18, 2009 at 3:26 pm

Sean Assity is not thinking of us, but of his audience — who will be surprised on or about day 100. Day 101 for some.

Gopherit February 18, 2009 at 3:26 pm

There goes your beer, Hannity. But who can blame him for fearing the possibility of coming peace and prosperity after the last 8 years? The man’s gravy train is coming into it’s final station.

freakishlystrong February 18, 2009 at 3:27 pm

DON’T READ ALL THE HANNITY COMMENTS, CRAZY LIKE OUTHOUSE RATZ11!
SRSLY, it’s hard to belive we share a nation with these stoopids…

Vartan84 February 18, 2009 at 3:35 pm

[re=246337]Aurelio[/re]: Who let David Denby on here?

Lionel Hutz Esq. February 18, 2009 at 3:38 pm

[re=246337]Aurelio[/re]: I don’t know. And while I hate to be critical, doesn’t calling Hannity an anus imply that he is, if not human, at least warm blooded?

Gopherit February 18, 2009 at 3:39 pm

[re=246344]freakishlystrong[/re]:it’s hard to belive we share a nation species with these stoopids…

Canmon (the Inadequate) February 18, 2009 at 3:39 pm

How did Clinton get that weird horizontal line on his face?

Lionel Hutz Esq. February 18, 2009 at 3:39 pm

[re=246307]Serolf Divad[/re]: Don’t worry. Hannity is quickly changing the picture to the man that caused the Great Depression: FDR.

Serolf Divad February 18, 2009 at 3:40 pm

[re=246356]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]:

Hannity is a cold, sticky, mildewy anus. So to answer your question: no.

Suds McKenzie February 18, 2009 at 3:45 pm

and I thought it would be a cross burning.

chascates February 18, 2009 at 3:47 pm

I was compelled to post this but I bet it doesn’t make it:

It’s a picture of Matt Drudge giving Bill O’Reilly a blowjob. It’s the one Hannity jacks off to.

Toomush Infermashun February 18, 2009 at 3:48 pm

Thanks for clearing this up…. becuase I was wondering how Sean’s two viewers would stand the suspense…

choom gangster February 18, 2009 at 3:48 pm

but how will this effect my chances on Hannidate?

also what up LF

Gorillionaire February 18, 2009 at 3:50 pm

Have to admit that this comment over at something awful made me laugh out loud: “Sarah Palin on Bang Bros”

assistant/atlas February 18, 2009 at 3:54 pm

I LOL’d on “Hannity & Death” and if this wasn’t already in production, I’m sure it would take 2 seconds to get green-lit.

Joshua Norton February 18, 2009 at 3:54 pm

So if he’s already predetermined how he’s going to react to Obama’s first 100 days – no matter what happens, he’s pretty much made himself redundant between now and then.

Given his predictable simple-mindedness, I wonder what his life expectancy would be if someone told him there was a pony inside a running wood chipper.

I’m just saying…..

JDHART February 18, 2009 at 4:00 pm

Just more proof of why Obama continues to make a fool out of Sean Han-ninny: IQ points really do matter.

heroinmule February 18, 2009 at 4:03 pm

I thought all the GOP fell in love with the Clintons after the Democratic primary? Does race-baiting no longer win their affections?

Violenza February 18, 2009 at 4:03 pm

I did love “known anus.” Are we sure Hannity didn’t have anything to do with writing the stimulus package? The resemblance is uncanny.

qwerty42 February 18, 2009 at 4:06 pm

[re=246344]freakishlystrong[/re]: I gave up, the comments were so unrelentingly stupid. And no mention of Truck Nutz to break the monotony. So if they were especially racist/moronic, I missed it.
[re=246307]Serolf Divad[/re]: I believe we may rest easy; the last 8 years assure us we will not return to the hell you describe in our lifetimes.

freakishlystrong February 18, 2009 at 4:08 pm

[re=246367]chascates[/re]: I would pay in whore diamonds to see that comment up there!

Dave J. February 18, 2009 at 4:10 pm

Ok, which of you jokers posted this guess on Hannity’s blog:

Comment by wat
January 22nd, 2009 at 12:52 pm
a youthful bare-chested Ron Paul riding t-rex with an M16 under each arm

WalnutsIsMyCo-Pilot February 18, 2009 at 4:27 pm

I figured it out from Hillary’s crazypants neck.

Lionel Hutz Esq. February 18, 2009 at 4:27 pm

[re=246361]Serolf Divad[/re]: I stand corrected. And now I see why he is so popular amongst Conservatives.

chascates February 18, 2009 at 4:28 pm

[re=246397]freakishlystrong[/re]: It’s actually still there. 7th down. There was one saying it was Limbaugh sucking off Hannity but I guess they had to pull that one.

Hooray For Anything February 18, 2009 at 4:35 pm

[re=246341]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I was thinking more along the lines of who Jacob is on Lost.

grevillea February 18, 2009 at 4:36 pm

Can I buy a vowel? T, please, Sean.

Lionel Hutz Esq. February 18, 2009 at 4:44 pm

And while I hate to take anything Hannity says with a straight face, is he now arguing that Hillary and the PUMAs were faking their harsh campaign against Obama just so Hil and Bill could be the power behind the throne?

groove February 18, 2009 at 4:48 pm

“Known anus…” I lol-ed.

CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us February 18, 2009 at 4:57 pm

[re=246356]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: I agree. I shall forever call him a cloaca. plus it’s grosser than a booney hole.

psilage February 18, 2009 at 5:08 pm

And under the Clintons? Wile E. Coyote.

Mr Blifil February 18, 2009 at 5:19 pm

I thought it was going to be a picture of Vince Foster with his brains blown out.

psilage February 18, 2009 at 5:22 pm

- and Wile E. Coyote turns out just to be a suit being born by Sam Sheepdog and so on like that. Finally under all of the clothes is Sean Hannity.

lulzmonger February 18, 2009 at 5:24 pm

So the real Obama is the SofS & her hubby? OH SNAP! That’s the same high-octane neocon boffo that made “An American Carol” such an instant classic.

Oh well – as long as FOX can keep getting its lukewarm mucilage pumped into enough nursing-homes, waiting-rooms & coma-wards, they can remain “Teh #1 Network” on the slowly-putrefying wooly mammoth that is TeeVee.

Somewhere in America, Alan Colmes is laughing his ass off.

AxmxZ February 18, 2009 at 5:31 pm

[re=246483]psilage[/re]: And under the Wile. E. Coyote – another Obama!

Atheist Nun February 18, 2009 at 5:33 pm

“Known anus Sean Hannity”

This cannot be improved upon.

Lionel Hutz Esq. February 18, 2009 at 5:44 pm

[re=246465]CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us[/re]: I just consider him a vent; a hole through which waste passes.

masterdebater February 18, 2009 at 5:46 pm

I know a guy that watches Hannity’s show, and I have met a couple of others. They will not figure this puzzel out until the last piece comes down, I’m sure.

anabellum February 18, 2009 at 7:22 pm

“Known anus Sean Hannity”…i laughed, i cried..

i give it two fists up…

Cape Clod February 18, 2009 at 8:18 pm

[re=246341]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Which we all know is Starbuck. Another example of him revealing the obvious.

STepper February 18, 2009 at 11:29 pm

How much do you want to bet that Inanity, that great believer in capitalism, failed to license either photograph? I’d say it’s about 100%. Most of these right wingnut cretins are hypocrites when it comes to paying others for their work. They only want to be paid for their work.

CanadianBacon February 18, 2009 at 11:50 pm

I think most anuses would be offended by the comparison, but at the same time impressed by his ability to be heard so clearly and distinctly despite the location of his head (see avatar).

A Geek Tragedy February 19, 2009 at 9:22 am

There’s a weird crease in Bill Clinton’s cheek. It makes me fearful.

Banzai77 February 19, 2009 at 10:15 am

A Geek Tragedy: That’s the slot where you insert slices of American cheese.

Big Mack April 2, 2009 at 10:41 pm

So how is this photo offensive? I really don’t see how Obama’s could be compared to the Clinton’s… they seemed to have a much better grasp on things than does this current administration. Seems to me it is a compliment.

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