Wonkette
Judd Gregg, a Republican senator from New Hampshire who was going to be Barack Obama’s secretary of commerce before he remembered that had already mortgaged his balls to Mitch McConnell, has fallen prey to another one of the president’s dastardly bipartisan schemes. He has accepted an invitation to attend some sort of “fiscal responsibility summit” next week. Oh noes!
Everybody knows that a Democrat saying, “Want to attend my summit?” is equivalent to a pedophile saying, “Want to see the cute puppy in the back of my windowless van?”
According to a written statement, Gregg believes that “my goal for the summit will be to address the long-term fiscal tsunami that is headed our way as a result of the cost of making payments to the Baby Boom Generation through health and retirement entitlement programs.” In other words, he will be roasted over a bed of hot lava and then served with a side of cornichons. That is how Hawaiians deal with betrayers.
Judd Gregg back to the White House.. [First Read]
This post is funny, mostly because it has the words “fiscal responsibility” very close to the words “Republican senator”.
That’s it, GGreg or whatever your name is, blame the Boomers! They ruined everything!
Wait, isn’t JJud a Boomer hisself? What gives, you lousy traitor? Man, that guy would renege on even Hopey for a political advantage.
How, precisely, does one go about ‘addressing’ a tsunami? “Hello, Mr. Gigantic Wave. I trust we can come to a mutually satisfactory…ahhh!..gurgle, gurgle.”
So he’s going to try to push the defunct Bush idea (and I use that term loosely) of fixing Social Security? And to think President Obama came within a hair’s breadth of making this feudalist troglodyte our Commerce secretary.
So, the pedo bear lures with Skittles? Good to know!
SayItWithWookies: Yes, he’s going to suggest we privatize it and let people invest it in the stock market.
Now listen, whoever comes to you with this “fiscal responsibility summit” meeting, he’s the traitor.
Judd won the NH state lottery - that’s his saga of fiscalness.
It’s funny cuz it’s hobo candy…
This is a great idea! And who better than the GOP to hold a “Fiscal Responsibility Summit?” After all, they spend the last 8 years in the minority watching as a Democratically controlled House and Senate and a Democratic President doubled the national debt over that time.
Obama: Let’s begin a discussion about how we can move toward a balanced budget, acknowledging the severity of our current situation and the need to run deficits now, and without abdicating the responsibilities of government to the safety and well-being of the people. We’re looking for long-term plans for sustained fiscal policy. Ideas?
Republican A: Cut taxes!
Republican B: Invade Iran!
Judd Gregg: Privatize social security and medicare!
Republican D: NOOOObama!
A productive discussion all around.
So those trillions we threw away in Iraq? Forget about those.
user-of-owls: On a surfboard, probably. He says it’s a long-term tsunami. I’m assuming that just means that it keeps going around the oceans of the world indefinitely.
Oh, and yeah: this crisis is the fault of all those incredible entitlements we’ve all been recei-…Dammit! I’m late for my appointment to pick up more plywood for the guillotine!
Whoever put this photo together, or came up with Pedobear in general, has my undying love, forever.
cal:
Don’t misrepresent what happened in Iraq, libtard. Those funds were in no way “thrown away” as you so misleadingly put it. Rather, they were… how shall I put it? Lobbed asunder.
Judd begged to attend, but just before it starts he’ll back out, saying, “It became apparent to me that, day in and day out, it would be very difficult for me to attend this summit or any other summit. I’m just being me.”
SayItWithWookies: Maybe he’ll suggest privatizing the banking industry. Those poor guys are chafing under their long government rule.
He’s going to touch the Third Rail after touching the Third Rail?
What is he, STOOPID?
Oh. Wait. He’s Republican. Nevermind.
Oh man is he going to get his ass chewed by Limbaugh. I mean that was going to happen anyway because I think Thursday is their day for that kind of thing, but it’s fun to pretend that economic policy has anything to do with the way they munch each other’s asses.
Maybe he’s looking for some Whore Diamonds?
But the GOP is now the party of fiscal responsibility! Didn’t you see the video? It had Aerosmith playing on it!
I had to look up cornichons…. French for “gherkin”…. You elitists!
Serolf Divad: Isn’t that key to capitalist theory? When in doubt, spray cash in all directions?
What kind of puppy is in the van?
I didn’t know Judd Gregg was a loli.
THE MOAR YOU KNOW
actor212: He’s doing the Republican two-step:
Dzzzzzt “D’oh!” Dzzzzzt “D’oh!” Dzzzzzt “D’oh!” Dzzzzzt “D’oh!”
grendel: Cornichons rock so hard. I could easily be induced to crawl into a box labeled “Free Cornichons.”
Doesn’t the Obama mortgage protection plan cover testicles? I though maybe that was why old Mitch worked so hard against the stimulus package…he didn’t want his testicle mortgages being bought up by the government’s “bad bank”. And as for Gregg’s plan to privatize social security, shouldn’t we be taking that seriously right now since the market has to be very near its bottom. Now is the time to invest. And years later when we all retire we’ll have enough dough to move to Florida’s friendliest hometown, The Villages, which by then will look more like Venice, Italy than central Florida, but no problem, we’ll all have canoes instead of golf carts. Sweet!
grendel: I like to serve my cornichons on a bed of micro-greens with a latte made from fair trade, organic coffee and organic soy milk from a company that sends 10% of their profits to save pandas.
But that’s just me.
GlennBecksFelch: The rich are different. They’re better.
From Wiki: “[Exeter Academy graduate] Judd Gregg won more than $850,000 in 2005 after buying $20 worth of Powerball tickets at a Washington, D.C. convenience store.”
At least he won’t have use his Social Security check for a weekly case of Mouton Cadet 1987, back rubs from Diamond Whores, and crème fraîche for breakfast strawberries like the rest of us.
Judd Gregg also belongs to the Sons of the American Revolution. Do you think he could get President Obama in that? With maybe a fake birth certificate?
I’ve lobbed asunder before, and you are no Jack Kennedy Mr. Quayle.
Just random thoughts.
Some pretty harsh comments in that post, I would say. After all, unless I am mistaken and I know I am NOT, exactly which political party got us in this financial mess we are presently in?
I could go on and on, about not even maintaining there own fiscal principles and running the largest deficit in the history of the country. Or putting us in a position that we are now dependent on the number one threat to our security, the Chinese for our borrowing needs.
But, really what’s the point? All you have to do is ask the same question one of our previous presidents once asked the country, I forget who he was, maybe you remember. The question was, “After the last eight years of them in office, is the country and are you better off?”
Anybody that would answer that question with a “Yes” is living in fantasy land. What else can I say, I think that pretty much covers how I feel.