Wonkette
- GM and Chrysler need $14 billion more than they needed in December, so that they can lay off 50,000 more workers. [Detroit Free Press]
- As part of the new governing coalition’s efforts to rebuild the economy, 130,000 Zimbabwean government employees will be paid in U.S. dollars, which are slightly less worthless than Zimbabwean dollars. [BBC News]
- Intrigue! Yet another financier accused of bilking customers out of billions has gone missing. [ABC News]
- Today President Obama will roll out his plan to prevent gazillions more mortgage foreclosures. Hope is on the way! [ABC News]
- Another day, another half-assed explanation from Roland Burris about how he didn’t talk to anybody about raising money for Rod Blagojevich, except for that time he talked with Rod’s brother Rob, but he said he couldn’t do a fundraiser, but he said he could talk to some people about donating money, BLARGH stop talking Roland Burris. [Chicago Tribune]
- Bill Clinton has finally come around and grudgingly admits that Barack Obama is an OK guy with some decent ideas. [CNN]
I thought the GM and Chrysler restructuring plan was to pay their workers in Zimbabwe dollars? I mean, they’re all “dollars,” right?
New inscription on Burris’ mausoleum: “Briefest Senator in history.”
You mean Bill Clinton thinks the man his wife is dependent on employment on is a pretty good guy.
On Burris, Blago’s lingering taint. I WARNED you about this. WAKE UP PEOPLE!
TGY: Bleah. Mornings.
Yesterday they played a snippet of a spring 2008 CNBC interview with Allen Stanford. It was classic. They asked him how his fund was affected by the subprime mess and he was all: “We’re 100% insulated from it!” Then they asked him to recommend an investment strategy and he was all: “Buy into the market and plan on holding your investments for a long time.”
Gotta love these movers and shakers, these titans of industry, these captains of capitalism. I never thought I’d agree with my friends on the Right who insist that these are the people who’ve made America what she is today.
Seeing pictures of that fugitive financier I can tell you he looks TOTALLY TRUSTWORTHY I’M SUPER SERIAL. No way a man who looks like a rat would even think of stealing 8 krillion dollars.
Is Burris reminding anyone else of Vicki Pollard lately?
“Mr. Burris, you’ve admitted to raising money for Rod Blagojevich. This directly contradicts what you said in your sworn testimony. Why shouldn’t we investigate you for perjury?”
“No but yer but no but yer but see what ‘appenedwasthiswholeotherthingwhatyoudon’tknownuffinaboutanywayyoushouldn’tlistentoRodcuzeveryoneknowshe’sjustaBETCHanywayandIain’tdonenuffingornuffing so SHA’AP!”
“I think the only way he could have gotten a lot of them to vote for him would be to accept their economic theory. Their economic theory is why we’re in this mess in the first place.”
Thank you, President Clinton.
I think peole should have figured that some thing was shady about that financier when he started flying around in a gold trimmed helocopter to cricket matches in the Carribean.
“There were never any inappropriate conversations between me and anyone else,” said Burris, who took no questions from reporters. “And I will answer any and all questions to get that point across to keep my faith with the citizens of Illinois.”
I am beginning to suspect that Chicago Tribune reporters are getting ahead of the Wonlketteers on snark. We’ve got to up our game, people!
“GM and Chrysler need $14 billion more than they needed in December, so that they can lay off 50,000 more workers.”
They be STIMULATIN’! They be STIMULATIN’ they butts off. {Actually, our butts, and also the Auto workers’ butts.) Shee-it, mostly they be stimulatin’ da banks who have fucked up the rest of the lives of all human beings currently extant or contemplated. Other than that, shee-it yeah! Fill up the field across the road with cars that no one will ever buy. Fuck it — cars per acre or ethanol per acre, which is less?
pshaw, 8 billion dollar scam. Call me when he steals some real money, like Zimbabwean trillions.
Burris didn’t do anything wrong. A-Rod didn’t do anything wrong. And what’s worse any depression won’t effect these guys at all.
It’s lynchin’ time!
http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSN1842429020090218
villageatrois:
“This is a Christian house, boy! No hippity-hoppity language in here!” *slap slap* “It’s for your own good.” *slap slap*
shanemacgowan: ZOMG!, I was about to post the same sentence in here. Yeah, da people need to be hearing that concise message 24/7. Maybe Bill should be WH press secretary.
tehbenton: haha, good call
Why are Stanford and Bernard Madoff still alive? Line them up against the wall.
They can afford the best bullets and blindfolds.
Fuck GM. Fuck Chrysler. I’m with the Republicans.
Let’s burn this whole muthafucka down to the ground!
“Stanford and his companies have spent more than $7 million on lobbyists and campaign contributions in efforts to loosen regulation of offshore banks.
Among the top recipients: Senator Bill Nelson (D-Fla.), Congressman Pete Sessions (R-Texas), Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.), Senator Chris Dodd (D-Conn.) and Senator John Cornyn (R-Texas), one of the members who took a trip to Antigua where he was entertained by Stanford.
Sen Cornyn’s office has said the trip “was strictly a fact-finding trip,” and at the time, “there was nothing untoward or unseemly” about Stanford Financial.”
––––––––––––
Ho-lee shit. “Nothing untoward or unseemly” translates to “hookers and blow on yachts while nubile naked boys dive for pearls.”
Fugitive Financier Allen Stanford must be Fugitive Financier Robert Vesco’s grandson. Now if we could just find their long lost Uncle Billionaire Recluse Howard Hughes.
JavaJack: Actually, they can’t.
As a Brit Allen Stanford is my favourite scum bag financier with a made up fortune, as despite being a cheating scum-fuck he seems to like cricket