Wonkette
Last time we checked in on notorious idiot wingnut Rep. Michele Bachmann of Minnesota, she was almost losing her safe House seat after proposing Witch Trials for every Democratic member of Congress, because of socialism. She squeaked by, though, and thank God, because she’s funny. With the SOCIALISM WITCH TRIAL SCANDAL finally out of the way, she’s speaking freely again.
Over the course of this radio interview, Bachmann claims that ACORN is under federal indictment (false) and gets $5 billion in the stimulus bill (false), that members of Congress have “a real aversion to capitalism,” that Obama — the “Community-Organizer-In-Chief” — is hijacking the Census in such a way *cough cough counting Mexicans cough* that it would grant Democrats eternal rule, that a health care provision within the stimulus would mean, holy shit, that “your doctor will no longer be able to make your health care decisions with you,” and lastly, this: “We’re running out of rich people in this country.”
Idiocy Watch [Steve Benen]
Oh no! Who are we going to eat now?!
Mish “Tongue” Bachmann’s worried about the lack of rich people?
First she’s all for the deregulation of the financial markets and then whines when the financial explosion caused by deregulation takes down the fortunes of all the rich people who keep her in the krazy eyed lifestyle she’s accustomed to. She’s never happy, is she?
This is what the Fairness Doctrine was all about. Now, we get to hear this repeated by Limbaugh, Hannity, and finally by Karl Rove.
Is she one of the Lizard people, because real people (homo sapiens) are not this dumb?
I heard Obama had them all killed as a sacrifice to his god, Socialist Allah “Hussein” Muslin, who requires several gallons of blue blood every fortnight so that Michelle can catch all of the good stuff on sale at JCrew.com.
Isn’t Minnesota supposed to be one of the less-crazy-eyed states? Another one bites the dust, I suppose.
if you repeat it enough, it becomes accepted wisdom. kinda like the way the executive pay limits were added in the last minutes to the stimulus bill. Not added by voice vote Feb 6.
Throw her into the river and see if she floats.
chascates: That information flow runs the other way, my friend. Bachmann is to Rush Limbaugh like the office dingbat who tells you what happened on CSI the night before, but gets just enough details wrong that it makes absolutely no sense.
She reminds me of Diana — leader of the Lizard aliens in V.
http://blogs.coventrytelegraph.net/thegeekfiles/Vser2.jpg
Michelle, ma belle, these are words that go together well, sorta…
assistant/atlas: During the Democratic pogroms of the 1940s, the lunatics were all herded into the 6th Congressional District, where–instead of freezing to death as expected–they interbreed, grow their own food and have learned basic skills, like the fundamentals of speech. The rest of the state is OK, pretty much.
oh god, I hope she stays off her meds forever… Shine on, you crazy diamond!
randomsausage: LOL! My thoughts exactly. Remember how her jaws expanded when she ate the rat?
She and Marsha Blackburn (WINGNUT- TN) + Celebrity Death Match = Good Times! Let the bloodletting begin.
The libruls’ turned me into a newt!
Jeebus Christ. Enough with the fucking acorns already. Shit.
Wow. Was she dropped in a vat of batshit as a baby? Can she be helped? Or at least stopped?
cal: +1 on their eating habits. Had forgot about that. I bet Bachmann’s a gobbler!
6th District, and, well, all over the country, these wing nuts are slavering in the wings… having lost any practical belief that what they’ve been saying for the last 10 years made any sense at all, they’re forced by insanity to make transrational equations…little do they know that the cure is just more drinkin…. don’t try to do no thinkin…
Texan Bulldoggette: Scientists were struggling with potential ethical issues in reviving extinct lesser forms of human beings. Here’s a poster child for letting bad genes die out…FOR.EVAH.
I have decided that making my own decisions in life is too difficult, and will get a new “WWMBD?” braclet to guide me. Everytime something important comes up, I am going to think “What would Michelle Bachman do?” and then do exactly the opposite.
Alt Text: “Durr!”
NewSpence: Also. Bachmann isn’t nearly creative enough to come up with her own wingnutty “ideas.” I’ve heard all of this crap recently, somehow, and I have sworn off MediaMatters and such for the sake of my sanity. It all just gets out in the ether like the gaseous Limbaugh-effluvium that it is.
Ha! Michelle Bachman is just like my mom (only crazy-eyed sexeh.)
Michelle Bachman is officially the funniest person to ever represent Minnesota in Congress, and that includes Franken. She is a national treasure.
She must represent the town of St. Olaf, made famous by one Rose Nylund of the Golden Girls.
For those of you not in the know, St. Olaf, MN (the Rose Nylund version) is the wellspring of all that is stupid in the universe.
See how her hair (barely) hides an oddly shaped head? That’s where Rush Limbaugh’s mind control device receiver goes.
And I thought the craziest fuck to ever come out of Minnesota was Jerry Lundegard, but Bachmann Turner beats him by a country mile. Has St Cloud turned into a retard factory to keep reelecting her?
magic titty: I say force her to try and win Legends of the Hidden Temple. If she can assemble that f***ing silver monkey, she deserves her seat forever.
Oh Gawd, the Shit Demon is back. You’d think she would keep her cakehole shut for awhile after squeaking out a victory over that valiant Hobbit of the North Woods, Frodo Tinklenberg. I guess the reptilian thing that uses her outer skin as a ruse to fool us all is insatiable in its quest to do evil. What weapons exist that can defeat her? A wooden stake? A bucket of water? Salt?
Who knew Congress was so much like being forced to hang out with your semi-employed, three time divorced drunk idiot relative who listen to AM radio all the time.
Come on, give her a break here. Everyone knows that rich people are just better than everyone else.
$5 billion for ACORN now? That’s a wingnut increase of 400% over previous wingnut predictions of $1 billion for ACORN. Is community activism the new hedge fund? We need an ACORN-based economy: they’re the rich people now apparently .
Fivetree: Lithium and/or Haldol, crushed into powder and mixed into a liquid, injected via a single dart to the mid-thigh.
She’s ornery though…bring two darts
GOP is providing great Daily Show fodder lately.
Campbell Brown: Don’t you see, the people in her district voted her in so THEY wouldn’t have to hang out with her. They were sick of the crazy hobo lady ranting at passers-by on their streets.
She’s dumb as a post but I would still totally wreck that shit.
pdiddycornchips: Really?… REALLY!?
Palin/Bachmann 2012!
Lordy! If she keeps opening up that nutty yap of hers, I’ll have to show her what the hole is really for.
Oh, Mickey, you daffy, daffy dame. America will never run out of the rich people! Never! Our wealthy overlords spring fully-formed from the soil of places like Carmel and Shaker Heights when the earth is fed with the blood of the poors. The end.
magic titty: No Sir! The true way to tell whether she is a witch is to weigh her, and if she weighs the same as a duck, then she is a witch.
This is, by the way, what our grandchildren will think if the R’s continue to have any say in education policy.
She looks like Marlo Thomas on angel dust.
I’ve hesitated posting this, but given all the “retard” remarks, uh, well, yes. In fact, I have heard that St. Cloud, MN had more handicapped accessibility areas than any other place in the country… even before the ADA was passed. That’s all. Not that it’s a bad thing. Just, there it is. Also.
sarahconnor: Does it also feature an unusually large amount of “greeters” in its Walmarts?
assistant/atlas: colman, ventura, franken, backmann. less crazy eyes you say?
loudmouthredhead:
Don’t be hatin’…
S.Luggo: well thats a relief. just say noes to teh death tax!
Poor Backmann, is she no longer rich due to unregulated financial advisor gambling?
MICHELE BACKMAN IS A REAL AMERICAN , REAL CHRISTAIN AND REAL HOT TOO . ALSO ID SUPPORT HER 100% TO BE PRESDENT TO OVER THE MOSSLEM SOCAILIST IN 2010 ALSO TAXCUTS AND GOD.
Someone people deserve bukkake.
pdiddycornchips: No hatin’, I’m just worried about ya
El Pinche:
damn, that almost sounds real.
Damn, that new Prez of your’n is good. Somehow Preznit Putney Swope rounded up all the rich whites and bankrupted them AFORE he were even Preznit.
When asked to comment, Battering-Rahm Emanuel stated: “Putney sez the Bachmann Sex Girl has GOT to have SOUL!”
Pressed for details, Preznit Putney Swope outlined his plans: “”The changes I’m going to make will be minimal. I’m not gonna rock the boat. Rockin’ the boat’s a drag. What you do is sink the boat! And there’s no sense sinkin’ nothin’ unless you can salvage with productive alternatives. And brothers, you can’t change nothin’ with rhetoric and slogans. Because if a man’s really got the truth in his pocket, he doesn’t talk about it. He hangs it out on a shingle where people can see it. So from now on, the name of this agency is TRUTH and SOUL.”
Whereupon Preznit Swope caught nuthin’ but net with a three pointer from WAAAY downtown.
That picture reminds me of that episode of the May Tyler Moore Show when Mary’s bat-shit crazy, serial killer sister comes to visit, gets wasted on Quaaludes and sterno, kills the entire WJM news staff, takes Mary hostage and starts throwing her own feces out the window at the SWAT team.
loudmouthredhead: But don’t get too close, apparently she/it bleeds acid.
From the photo, I’m definitely not worried about the lack of *duck* people in this country.
Canuckledragger: Thanks for the Putney Swope reference. That will separate the wheat from the chaff.
Has anyone ever laughed during an interview with her? I mean, how can you not?
magic titty: Win.
Someone slipped some acid in that MinneSoda.
pdiddycornchips: Hear hear! Hot & crazy is teh sexy combination. Tie her to the bed posts and listen to her scream.
loudmouthredhead: Really! Tell me you wouldn’t given the chance. She’s 100x teh hawtness of that fat ugly troll Palin. The mom that is. As for the now-18-year-old Bristol…
See, the devil really does wear Prada!
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/
Lascauxcaveman: ew
pdiddycornchips: ew
Cape Clod: HaHa! And Ted Baxter got his tie caught in the fax machine, AGAIN!
She’s the truck-nutz of wing-nuts. In that she is too awesome for words. Also.
I haven’t seen it yet, but that Alexandra Pelosi doc captures the same crazy, all over this wonderland of ours. MN has no monopoly on full retards, failing up.
MB has nothing on NC-5’s Virginia Foxx. Foxx is an old slutty right-to-lifer with a big nose and lazy eye. Too bad she hasn’t done more press conferences. Here’s her grabbing W for a disgusting smooch:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gk6mTyxekZ4
Fun Facts about Michelle!
Her husband can cure gay people.
She used to babysit Gretchen Carlson of FOX News.
How does this bonehead get any votes at all?
I am ashamed to admit it but I am right there with pdiddycornchips. I got a weakness for teh crazy and she’s got teh crazy squared (cubed, etc). This is why so many of my relationships ended with me having to change my address.
At least she had the decency to stay in the game, unlike Katherine Harris. I am beginning to fear that America is running out of crazy right wing bimbos.
Ladies and Gentlemen.
I give you…the GOP’s Crazy-eyed Chicken Little.
CAUTION: Contains lead.
I volunteer to become a rich person to make Michelle happy. All she has to do is cut me in for about 10 zrillion of that bailout cash she doesn’t want for her voters.
If it would help stimulate the economy, I would pay to see the Bachmann/Obama hate fuck. Live at a neutral venue, or pay-per-view, either works. I give the edge to the pay-per-view, since I’m guessing she’s prone to some rather nuk-yu-lar pussy farts, and you wanna stay well clear of the vicinity in such cases.
Michele Bachmann is human (false)
Michele Bachmann is at not as dumb as a sack of shit (false)
Michele Bachmann in that picture sort of looks like Sarah Silverman (true, sorta)
Every right thinking American thinks that Michele Bachmann’s district should be sawed out of the United States and sent adrift on the Pacific Ocean, with Harry Reid, also (true, true and true).
SayItWithWookies: OMG, please. One can hope.
Mr Blifil: and she’s a screamer when guys like Obama tap her. She’s a true Christian so she yells “jesus” with the Aramatic proper way , Oh my fucking Yeshua! Oh Yeshua! Slap my ass you muslin godless commie!
WadISay: I think it might be time for another pogrom in the 6th district. Send out those Minnesotan Cossacks!
Gosh darn it, kids! My grandparents were there when the filthy, reactionary bourgeoisie was exterminated AS A CLASS. Can’t we do something similar here in the good old US of A? Where is our class consciousness? Where is our Proletarian class solidarity? If we’re going to be painted as Reds by the Rove-Hannity-Limbaugh-O’Reilly demagogues, why don’t we grow a pair and organize the Masses to exterminate this scum? Like real Reds? Or do you just want to post snarky blogs and go back to catching up on your TIVO while you suck on your bongs, you mucky pseuds! Arise, bloggers of the world, you have nothing to lose but your keyboards!
El Pinche: You should hear her when she’s getting double-teamed by Obama and Keith Ellison…
I grew up near the 6th (as it is today). Basically, if Orange County drunk-fucked greater Alaska and had a kid, but couldn’t afford to raise it so they dropped it off at Minnesota (who’s like Alaska’s distant gay relative), you would have the 6th.
Zorg: As I wrote elsewhere, I’m with you, Zorg.
Elwyn Tinklenberg would have been funny, too, if only because his name is Elwyn Tinklenberg.
randomsausage: Yes. Let’s feed her a guinea pig to be sure, though.
Hopey’s filled me with love now, though. Especially for these crazed wing-nut asshats who still think their great big opinions matter, durnit. *kicks pebble* Now that I know their only voice is on talk radio, I listen to them like hilarious-if-racist sketch programs.
Folks! Folks! All of you underrate Michele Bachmann.
Every other Republican out there can only parrot three or four of these talking points with any sincerity. Michele can hit them all with a tone of deep conviction and urgency, no matter how foolish they make her look. Who else among the Republicans can even come close to this level of blind courage and willingness to sacrifice their last ounce of integrity?
We’re running out of rich people because they all made stupid investments and capitalism worked. The end.
God, you just know she loves the back door action. Just sayin’.
From her offical site:
“Bachmann and her husband, Marcus, live in Stillwater where they own a small business mental health care practice that employs 42 people. The Bachmann’s have five children, Lucas, Harrison, Elisa, Caroline, and Sophia. In addition, the Bachmanns have opened their home to 23 foster children, …”
Given her ridiculous statements I fear for the clients of said small mental health care practice.
chascates: So their business involves inducing a need for mental health care?
chascates: Poor woman. At least she doesn’t have to go far to get the help she so desperately needs.
I was just commenting the other day on how few rich people I run into anymore. Years ago, when I was a kid, you could find one on every corner! Guess that’s what 30 years of conservative rule will do for you.