Wonkette
- ROBOT Magazine February centerfold Nate Silver has predicted that Slumdog Millionare will be the new senator from Minnesota. [Andrew Sullivan]
- Republicans are telling slanderous lies about Nevadan God of Impotence Harry Reid’s high-speed casino-to-Hollywood ambitions. [Matthew Yglesias]
- Michelle Obama has bought the penny a fancy new look from J.Crew. The coin will now feature a photo-diary of Lincoln’s many houses, including: a log cabin, a wooden log presumably just adjacent to a log cabin, the “White House”, and the Capitol Building. [Top of the Ticket]
- Mittens the (Fat) Cat is selling half (1/2) of his retainer of barionial estates, namely his haunted forest ski sanctuary and his Boston pied a terre. [AMERICAblog]
- International gerrymanderer Barack Obama has recently purchased the territory of Uzbekistan and will probably make it our 51st state. [RedState]
Juli, your hyperbole and bold faced lies top even those of Ken Layne. Congratulations are due.
Mickey Rourke to beat Sean Penn? Really?? Boo. The wonder is not so much that Mickey Rourke acts well but that he acts at all. *throws gay shit-fit*
J.D. Hayworth is completely, fucking, certifiably, insane… but of course you already knew that.
RedState spittle-flecked moron Moe Lane comes clean! Despite his constant annoyance that Obama is president instead of some discredited senile old jet pilot, he’s found apparently some serenity in his private life: “I take some comfort in pegging,” he says. Well good for you. Doesn’t say whether he’s the wearer or recipient of the strap-on, but no matter.
Seriously, the amount of twisting and torturing of logic thought that goes into the typical RedState post is astounding. He should go fuck himself because he probably can.
Holy crap — RedState comes out against torture. They will soon be unveiling their new slogan, “We have always been at war with Eurasia!”
I don’t think there are any russians
And there aint no yanks
Just corporate criminals
Playin with tanks
Does this ominously portend the end of the penny’s irrelevance? Long live Hobo Reds!
I simply love the homey designs of the new penny, but ask, who shall be able to afford them?
Barack: Economic Earnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Uzbekistan
I can’t decide if in our Hobo economy the penny will find a new found role, or will become as worthless as a $20 (yuppie food stamp) given hyperinflation and $ devaluation
TGY:
Michelle: [as Barack is leaving for Uzebekistan] If you cheat on me, I will snap off your cock!
Redstate:”…the Democrats has long had two schools of though in foreign policy. The primary one, of course, is the “show your belly” school which simply advocates surrendering pre-emptively to any threat, great or small, and being done with it (virtually any Democrat senator would be a good example here).”
A) When’s the last time any Democrat has been in power to effect a surrender? Clinton? To whom did the US surrender to in those years? Prior to that it was…Carter? I seem to remember precipitous withdrawal from Lebanon because of a barracks blown to shit on Reagan’s watch, but I’m not sure Carter can be said to have “surrendered” to Iran, even when they took hostages.
B) What the fuck do US Senators, Dem or otherwise, have to do with the process of declaring surrenders?
Red State has two schools when it comes to arguing foreign policy. The first is the “show your perineum”approach, wherein the commenter waves his asshole above his head while grunting like a walrus. The other school is the “crawl back in mommy’s pussy” approach. For when it gets really scary to contemplate the existence of an outside world. I’d recommend the latter for the genius who composed the post above.
Juli, don’t taunt us with Nate fantasies when you can’t deliver! You’ll have a riot on your hands!
Bruno:
You’re almost there, but not quite. Once the world economy collapses with civil society falling shortly thereafter, a penny will be worth a lot, since the copper in it will be indispensable to making the tools (and weapons) we all use in the new bronze age we will have entered.
Serolf Divad: Hoo-boy, J D reliably brings teh crazee. Does Tweetie let him talk for eight whole minutes? Life’s too short for that. I think it was Original Wonkette AMC who said he looked like a pool contractor.
Mr Blifil: Who “surrendered” in Vietnam? Would that be Nixon or Ford? Who “surrendered” in Korea? I think it was a Republican named Dwight Eisenhower. Who “surrendered” at Appomattox? Well, okay, that was U S Grant, a Republican too, and he actually won. Even a blind pig finds an acorn once in a while.
Mr Blifil:
Well, Raygun won the Cold War! So there! (Typical Red Stater)
Actually, Mr Bonzo didn’t as the DIA and US Navy military analysts in the mid 70s knew that the Soviets were already a paper tiger–all guns no economy. Only the CIA and Team B analysts (including Paul Wolfowitz and Dick Perle) didn’t believe them and assumed the Soviets were going to fight WW3 soon on the waves with their “blue” water Navy.
If Carter won 1980, the USSR would have collapsed for good in 1997 not 1991.
V572625694:
Hey, Korea was a tie!
Chrysler just announced they’ll cut 3 vehicle models, lay off more workers and ask for more money. This is capitalism?
Now GM wants $30 billion, getting rid of 30,000 more workers by 2012, cutting 5 plants. May dump Hummer & Saturn.
Maybe the workers will take a transfer to Afghanistan and consider retraining as targets.
haha yay. conservatives suddenly care about human rights in Uzbekistan.
Serolf Divad: Unfortunately, the current penny is almost entirely made of zinc (97.5% zinc, with a thin plating of copper). We’ll have to resort to breaking into abandoned buildings and stealing the pipes and wiring the way God intended. The zinc should still be good for homemade batteries, though (all the more necessary once we’ve stolen enough wiring).
Mahousu: My friend had the same idea, and while God may intend, the local PD did not.
I tried to read that Red State thing but it didn’t make a lick a’ sense, as people around here would say (but not about anything wackily conservative). I’m screwing around on wonkette and “girding my loins” as the Old Testament would say, in anticipation of watching Frontline.
It’s going to be hard. I checked my homeowner’s policy and they won’t buy me a new teevee if I get so angry I throw a rock through the screen.