Wonkette
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Don’t think he’s signed it yet. He’s in Denver at some hippie museum for trees. Chuck Todd looks confused. Lots of flags, liberals. HURRY. UPDATE: Oh ha it ended just as we posted this. Well here’s an article to go with it. Apparently the White House has also created another one of its elitist websites — Recovery.gov! — that will track where the money’s being spent. CRAFTY. [MSNBC]
Important Question: Why did Obama sign the bill with 10 pens? It looked like he was writing each letter of his signature with a different one. The mind boggles.
I feel more employed already.
Just waiting on the new web site Panic.gov.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090122205908AA0ihnY
the pens are given away to sponsors or republicans so they can kill themselfs by poisoning their blood
gogal: I thought so. It was a funny sight to behold for the first time. They should totally put them up for auction to pay for the bill.
I’m really glad that I’ll be getting a tax cut on my nonexistent paycheck. Hooray for a higher deficit! DAMMIT- Republicans ruin everything.
President Barack Obama just signed the stimulus bill at the Museum of Nature and Science in Denver, with the fossilized toenail of a tyrannasour.
This is the largest government spending bill in the history of Planet Earth. Now that the bill has been signed, ten White House aides are carrying the 160-pound stack of paper to the cubicles of federal committee members so the government can read it and figure out what they just did.
The multiple pen thing always amuses me. Can’t he just seal the deal by having sex with Pelosi?
If it was good for ancient Mesopotamia…
The Museum of Nature and Science = stake through the heart of Republican America.
I’m kind of disappointed because I was hoping Obama would have Mitch McConnell bend over first and the bill would be signed using McConnell’s ass as the table.
HA! Just try and view the 5 PDFs of ARRA via Recovery.gov. Website FAIL.
/Worst. President. Ever.
naveed: That would be awesome: if he signed every bill this way, each letter a different color.
Pizzuti: Apply a little Douglas Adams to the mix and we can author a bill so enormous, cryptic, and mind-torturingly complex that creditors will be unable to decipher exactly how we owe them money, and it’ll never need to be repaid.
Either that, or engrave the bill onto a shell of an endangered loggerhead turtle and require that an official copy of the original be provided with every invoice.
Well, it beats the Crayons used by Republican presidents.
I feel stimulated already! No, wait… I think that’s the coke.
They’ve already revived the sagging pen industry.
SayItWithWookies: O’Bama held the signing in the “Let’s all laugh at Stupid Creationists” wing of the Museum, then sealed the deal with cool refreshing McNuggetinis…
Scarab: No, I’m afraid the pen industry has run dry and is deep in red ink.
One Yield Regular: Watching it reminded me of children drawing with crayons.
Chuck Todd thinks he’s there to witness the first presidential veto.
Bearbloke: This martini perversion thing has gotten waaaay out of hand.
TGY: Well played, sir.
I love how, on the Recovery.gov website, there’s an $8bn category for “Other.” They should have just told it like it was:
$8bn = Lesbo fisting porn for TonyTheTiger
I’m absolutely giddy with glee now. I expect the high to end promptly at 9 p.m. ET tonight when I begin watching that Meltdown show on Frontline.
*pirouettes around office chair*
See, major bank insolvency ain’t no thang.
SayItWithWookies: Only the Shamrock & Ranch is perverse.. the Vanilla & Barbeque or the Chocolate & Honey-mustard are perfectly normal, perfectly healthy…. drink up!
SayItWithWookies: Hear hear. Martini = gin + vermouth + olive or twist, stirred over ice. Whatever differs from this, to the extent of the difference, is no Martini.
Bearbloke: Urrrp.
V572625694: I will allow enough leeway for vodka. James Bond drank them, after all.
SayItWithWookies: Vodka’n'vermouth is quite good. But it’s not a Martini, any more than a Whisky Sour is a Martini.
Bearbloke: Gross. I only do dirty-yea-to-muddy martinis. Grey Goose au francais!, of course. Distilled from the finest hobobeans.
V572625694: Okay, I concede the point. Wikipedia has a fairly extensive article on the martini here, and argues that the variant is properly called a vodka martini. Also, its first appearance in popular culture goes back only to 1950, whereas the martini itself was created in the middle 1800s.
Pizzuti: This is the largest government spending bill in the history of Planet Earth.
And yet it’s still probably only about 1/3rd, at best, as much as is actually needed to act as a real stimulus.
In my best Droopy Dog voice: I haz a sad when I should haz a happy.
loquaciousmusic:
know I’m a day late on this, but I thought the same thing. You’d think the other catergories covered almost anything you could possibly imagine. What does “Protecting the Vulnerable” mean? Snuggies?