AMERICA'S DICK  12:32 pm February 16, 2009

David Axelrod Will Waterboard Dick Cheney

by Ken Layne

Barack Obama’s mustachioed Merlin, David Axelrod, hates Dick Cheney’s fat hateful ass. This, in itself, is hardly novel: Everyone hates Dick Cheney’s fat hateful ass. But Axelrod gets to go on Meet the Press and call Cheney a dick as part of his Administration job. [USA Today]

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emmasue February 16, 2009 at 12:36 pm

dick cheney does not and has never read any memos. He writes them and distributes them. The thought that he would read one, from W even, is laffable. That guy is a serious asshole.

Red Zeppelin February 16, 2009 at 12:37 pm

Major dis to Dick “down the line” Cheney!

freakishlystrong February 16, 2009 at 12:40 pm

Axlerod did a pretty good check on that little prick Andy Card as well, (in WAPO?), when he mentioned they had to roll up their sleeves in the Oval Office, to clean up the mess they inherited.

Rush February 16, 2009 at 12:40 pm

A nice hunting trip would help these sour relations.

WadISay February 16, 2009 at 12:43 pm

I think he means “the memo didn’t go up the line.”

Red Zeppelin February 16, 2009 at 12:44 pm

BTW, Is Wonkette planning to sue SNL for that opening skit? I know it was Valentine’s Day and only shut ins were watching, but still!

SayItWithWookies February 16, 2009 at 12:46 pm

That’s a good start. Now can we have a Dick Cheney effigy tour the country by rail so good citizens can line up and beat it with their shoes?

Serolf Divad February 16, 2009 at 12:48 pm

So Dr. Phil is working for Obama now, too?!?!?!

marioninnyc February 16, 2009 at 12:48 pm

So it sends like Bush is acting like some conspirator when the police bust in and he’s all like, “Thank god you guys are here.” Little shit is already trying to negotiate a deal and Axelrod is putting it out that he’s ready to rumble with Cheney. Soon Leahy will be holding those hearings, and all the bad guys will go to jail, right? Right? Please tell me that’s what this means, please?

shanemacgowan February 16, 2009 at 12:49 pm

Is it possible that Mr. Axelrod is one of the Wonkette commenters who writes “eat a bag of dicks” every time Cheney’s fat hateful ass is mentioned here. And good catch, [re=244319]freakishlystrong[/re]: .

ManchuCandidate February 16, 2009 at 12:50 pm

Soon to be a documentary at Faux Newz:

“Dick Cheney: Why is everyone always picking on me?”

Min February 16, 2009 at 12:51 pm

Of course, George W. was gracious when he left. He couldn’t wait to get the hell out of Dodge.

HipHopOpotamus February 16, 2009 at 12:53 pm

Dick Cheney is an American Hero. I was unbelievingly upset when the “Thank You President Bush” site was not immediately supplemented (or, better yet, supplanted) with a “Thank You Lord Cheney” online petition. This man brought us to real security, real power, and real monsters come to life.

bago February 16, 2009 at 12:55 pm

[re=244332]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Because he ain’t brushed his teeth since 1983?

BobLoblawLawBlog February 16, 2009 at 12:55 pm

Bush couldn’t have been more generous during the transition? Like, not even if he had actually let “the cullerdz” stay in the fucking White House???

GlennBecksFelch February 16, 2009 at 12:57 pm

Why is A-rod picking on a crippled old man?

Whitey Did Katrina February 16, 2009 at 1:00 pm

I frequently call Cheney a dick as part of my job as well, as I’ve found that people like a little politics with their soft serve.

sati demise February 16, 2009 at 1:03 pm

Cheney is permanently stuck on the dark side. Probably been there all his life. Too bad he had to drag the whole country over there for a while. Hope he stays in his black hole forevah.

ifthethunderdontgetya" February 16, 2009 at 1:03 pm

I don’t believe any of it.

Send Dickie off to the Hague, then I’ll believe it.

TGY February 16, 2009 at 1:11 pm

Ah-ah, ‘waterboarding’ is something we now no longer put up with. At most, we’ll be allowed to taunt Dick Cheney from a distance of not less than ten paces. And make funny faces, but no scary ones.

bitchincamaro February 16, 2009 at 1:27 pm

Finally, an explanation for the Cheney mouth, from today:

Mr. Rodriguez also displayed what Dr. Ekman said might be repeated microexpressions of “unilateral contempt”: a tightening and raising of the corner of the lip that can indicate arrogance or a feeling a moral superiority.

A-rod is a piker by comparison, though.

bitchincamaro February 16, 2009 at 1:36 pm

[re=244359]bitchincamaro[/re]: here’s the working current link, I think:

sati demise February 16, 2009 at 1:44 pm

Dick cannot believe anyone would not love his defense of “rape by instrumentality” of prisoners.
(Digby today- almost unreadable sadism)
Something tells me this is what Cheney is talking about rather than the boring waterboard technique.

Dean Booth February 16, 2009 at 1:47 pm

“Axelrod gets to go on Meet the Press and call Cheney a dick as part of his Administration job.”

I’ve heard it’s not a job — it’s just work.

sarcasticusername February 16, 2009 at 1:51 pm

we’ll all remember this when poor david shows up not too long from now, with a bunch of bullets in his face. it’s too bad really, i always kinda liked barry’s rumpled old wingman.

Monsieur Grumpe February 16, 2009 at 2:05 pm

Tomas de Torquemada
Joseph Stalin
Adolph Hitler
Snidely Whiplash
Dick Cheney

snideinplainsight February 16, 2009 at 2:07 pm

But I know there’s good in him — I’ve felt it!

er, mabe that was just buckshot -

sati demise February 16, 2009 at 2:07 pm

[re=244379]sarcasticusername[/re]: no, poor David will just have a florescent light or broomstick shoved up his butt, thats the Cheney way. (then he will be stuffed into a sleeping bag for asphyxiation, then a bunch of bullets accidently fired into his face to cover up the real cause of death)

DoctorCulturae February 16, 2009 at 3:39 pm

David exhibiting a healthy pair here. Nice to hear someone speak in calm, clear tones. “He doesn’t like the American people’s VERDICT” indeed. And the “down the line” comment is a reminder about the distribution of power as constitutionally established.

Darth from his dark cave, throwing a fist into his palm: “Rat-bastards!”

Perhaps Dub made a deal with Hopester to throw Darth under the bus?

Double Scorpion February 17, 2009 at 2:08 am

Wow, someone actually gets paid to barely hide their contempt for loathsome pustule Cheney on national television? This is actually a job? Next you’ll tell me there is gainful employment as a Female Body Inspector or Operator of a Mustache Ride.

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