Wonkette
- David Axelrod did the Sunday talk show circuit yesterday, discussing administration efforts to shore up the housing market. Mortgage lenders are apparently putting a temporary stop on foreclosures — something Hillary Clinton suggested they do over a year ago, lest things get really bad. [Wall Street Journal]
- A British and a French nuclear submarine collided with each other earlier this month, but thankfully did not set off any nuclear explosions under the ocean, which would have been, ha ha, pretty awful! Keep calm and carry on, etc.! [BBC News]
- Chrysler and GM executives are staying up all night drinking cold coffee and smoking unfiltered Camels in an effort to grind out their cost-cutting/stayin’ alive proposals which are due to the president on Tuesday. [Detroit Free Press]
- Investigators are reconstructing the terrifying last moments of the flight that went down over Buffalo last week in an effort to understand what caused the crash. [New York Times]
- Yay, somebody’s economy sucks more than ours! Meet the island nation of Japan, which relies heavily on exports and the sales of such completely unwanted luxury trinkets as cars and electronics. [Washington Post]
- More sporadic violence in Gaza. [BBC News]
I thought Japan’s economy depended on exports of used schoolgirl underwear and anime tentacle porn. I guess the Internets allow you to get that stuff for free now.
What makes the sub collision worse is that it was two boomers, each loaded to the gills with nuclear missiles.
Only if some Hollywood geniuz scriptwriter can capitalize on it. “Pink Panther”, “Hunt For Red October” and “Crimson Tide.”
We’ll call it:
“Pink Panther meets The Hunt for Crimson Tide.”
President Beeblebrox:
Or animation of creepy big eyed women who look like young girls. I’m looking at you, Sailor Moon.
“the anti-sonar devices, meant to hide the submarines from enemies, were “too effective”.”
Mission Accomplished.
President Beeblebrox: They actually import underwear from Korea.
Were the two submarines playing chicken? Isn’t the Atlantic kind of a really, really big place?
The ability of the Aso government to cope with the troubled economy took an unexpected blow over the weekend when Finance Minister Shoichi Nakagawa appeared to be drunk at a press conference in Rome.
Yeah, but he’s a happy drunk. So that mean good times are on the way! Good times, people!
Cary Grant was actually keeping the British submarine well clear of the French but then Tony Curtis brought Janet Leigh up to the command center to give her a tour and she lost her balance and hit a switch that caused the subs to collide.
President Beeblebrox:
I wonder: when people speak of old lechers buying the soiled panties of Japanese schoolgirls… what exactly do they mean by “soiled?” Do they mean that the girl in question has actually made some sort of a mess in them, or merely that they’ve been worn once? Because, personally, I don’t consider my underwear to be soiled until after the third day of wearing it.
Cape Clod: Her boobs bumped a button?
~
Cape Clod:
Fun fact: French submarines are actually big, hollowed out baguettes painted black.
A flight from Newark to Buffalo, ugh. I would look into the possibility that the plane crashed out of sheer lifestyle despair.
Cape Clod: Thank you.
Serolf Divad: I’ve always assumed, perhaps naively, that it just meant they’d been worn. Eek.
The submarine thing was amusing. It seems to be the month for expensive things crashing into other expensive things; we’ve already had a Russian military comms sat hitting an Iridium sat. No doubt an in-air plane crash is coming. (This has actually happened once or twice.)
Wait, Graham (R) thinks nationalizing the banks may be a good thing and Schumer (D) thinks quite the contrary? Is today opposite day, or what the fuck am I missing here?
WadISay: WIN.
Chrysler, FUCK OFF! Shitty and fugly Hemis didn’t and won’t save your stupid asses. Pontiac and Saturn, Buh-bye. It’s time to sever those in the design doldrums. You had over twenty years. Buick, you will love the Chinese market, especially since they’re the only people that love you. GMC, your sole purpose is commercial trucks. Period. Mercury, shut it down! Why do you really exist?
Cape Clod:
The British Sub was pink?
“So far, the oversight for the [auto] industry has been split between Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner and Lawrence Summers, director of the White House’s National Economic Council.”
Read the ill-fated Continintal cockpit transcript to see how this will turn out.
Servo: Calm down. We’ll all be driving Nissan Cherys soon enough. We don’t make teevee sets here anymore either.
A list of things America invented or perfected and then abandoned to other nations to be made better or cheaper:
* the internets
* automobiles
* television
* cell phones
* advanced medical treatments
I’m so depressed I think I’ll go over to the 7/11 and get a Slushee and some Slim-Jims.
So if a British sub and a French sub went bump in the night does that mean in a few months we will have a gaggle of little subs with bad teeth, but good taste in cuisine?
ManchuCandidate: Yeah, it was a wacky story about how that happened.
DoctorCulturae:
If a British sub and a French sub bump in the night, two months later they’ll be arguing over who gave whom the clap.
Serolf Divad: I suppose the case would be so bad as to be called radioactive.
But the children! What about the children?
Colliding nuclear subs in the middle of the ocean? Talk about crossing swords…
V572625694: 1. Optical video discs (e.g., CDs & DVDs). RCA came out with an optical video player for films in the 70’s then sold then technology due to slow sales.
2. Twinkies and Ho-Hos.
Mr Blifil: The encounter began as begign. “Pardon me. Do you have any Grey Poupon?” Smash.
S.Luggo: #1 American invention not yet taken over by the Asians, &c….Jazz.
Crash in space, crash in teh ocean, crash in Buffalo? be careful out there, really.
Must be a disturbing vortex of some sort.
WadISay: Not snarking here, but when a plane goes in with its nose that perpendicular to horizon, the first thing I think of is pilot suicide. Newark to Buffalo, indeed.
As far as I’m concerned, the rest of the Japanese economy can tank so long as Nintendo persists.
Guppy06:
After the great financial Apocalypse of 2010, what’s left of industrial societies will rebuild themselves around the one economic entity left standing midst the ruins of once great nations. Korea will become the Republic of Hyundai. The U.S. will be the Nation of Vivid Video. And Japan will be the Kingdom of Nintendo.
V572625694: I prefer the Daihatsu Sneaker myself.
What investigation is needed? The plane obviously crashed because terrorists were directing laser pointers at the pilot which is a crime and blinded the pilot. 9/11 4 EVAR@!!
V572625694: Not that anyone will read this at such a late hour, but cars were invented by ze Germans.