george washington

He’ll Kick You Apart

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Remember your greatest first president, in style! Play it for your kids, or your parents, and Never Forget the Father of Your Country, as presented by the great Austin-American artist Brad Neely, on a teevee show at some point? Happy Presidents Day. (DO NOT TURN UP THE SPEAKERS AT WORK UNLESS YOU HAVE A SPECIAL KIND OF BOSS.) [YouTube]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • V572625694

    OT, but is Wonkabout dead yet?

  • Serolf Divad

    I first saw this on Schoolhouse Rock. They played it right after that song about how a bill becomes a law. I love it when art and education are made one… docere, delectare, movere.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Suck it, Abe.

  • Mr Blifil

    This may as well be the shit that passes for “history” taught at schools. Why not?

  • shanemacgowan

    “Pocket full of horses?” I did not know that Prince was a history buff.

  • Gopherit

    I can think of no more suitable way to ring in this most sacred of democratic holidays.

    And I have to work. What’s up with that?

  • freakishlystrong


  • Sussemilch

    [re=244251]shanemacgowan[/re]: And fucked the shit out of bears.

  • Red Zeppelin

    Damn, they pulled the video. Since I am the boss, I was going to listen to it with the speakers way up.

  • Colander

    [re=244261]freakishlystrong[/re]: Headphones, man. Headphones.

  • 102415

    [re=244261]freakishlystrong[/re]: You need to work on that with a bright red apple and the promise of a pony. It worked on me.

  • Gorillionaire

    About all these video posts – you do know that most companies filter out youtube and the like over the workplace internets, no? We just get a big blank square there and then none of the comments or nothing makes any sense.
    Oh, nobody has jobs anymore. Nevermind.

  • El Pinche

    Hahaha, i like goergy’s Prince guitar.

  • freakishlystrong

    [re=244273]Colander[/re]: I wish…I’m also surrounded by right wing whacks, with no walls, this gig truly IS torture…

  • Internally valid

    Haha. This has been my gchat message all day.

    Also, I find it cute that Ken thinks people have jobs still. Also.

  • ifthethunderdontgetya”

    [re=244267]Red Zeppelin[/re]: It’s at youtube.


  • Mr Blifil

    [re=244261]freakishlystrong[/re]: Soon you won’t have a job anymore and you’ll be able to tap into internet filth with complete freedom.

  • bitchincamaro

    [re=244277]Gorillionaire[/re]: I am the boss and the youtubes and filthy pr0n are mandatory. For the morale.

  • FMA

    I just mentioned to my wife that George Washington had two sets of testicles and she asked, Was one of them wooden?

  • freakishlystrong

    [re=244275]102415[/re]: [re=244292]Mr Blifil[/re]: Nah, I just did the red shiny apple and new pony bit, I’m golden…

  • One Yield Regular

    If this is the first in some ambitious “all-the-Presidents” series – sort of like Sufjan Stevens’ “all-the-states” album series – please let it go no further than John Adams.

  • MarieDeGournay

    Fuck Chuck Norris.

  • TGY

    It’s rumored that George Washington once kicked Chuck Norris in the ass. For the Republic and Great Justice!!!!

  • bone

    This is my all-time favorite presidential documentary.

  • Judas Peckerwood

    Now that’s history you can believe in, my friends.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    You can turn the volume down, read along with the lyrics & video at Bestviral.

    This video is absolutely a must-view for anyone with a sense of humor.

  • hobospacejungle

    My heroin dealer loved Brad Neely. I had to sit through several videos every time I went to score. I really want to like the guy because he’s obviously a fucked in the head genius but those were bad times, bad times, and this video just brings it all back. I’m afraid Neely is forever tainted for me. I’m gonna go hate myself in the corner now. And take some more suboxone.

  • Hound

    I heard that motherfucker had like thirty goddamn dicks.

  • DangerousLiberal

    I’ve seen this vid before. It is totally what the internet was invented for. And, also, the porn.