DESTROYING THE NATION IN STYLE  4:31 pm February 14, 2009

Look America, It’s The Exact Moment When You Became Rich

by Jim Newell

Here’s a clip of Sen. Sherrod “60th Man” Brown finally showing up at a mostly empty Senate last night, saying a couple of words, and thereby giving each of you lazy slobs a job for once. CNN even shows Sherrod’s expensive Cadillac pulling up to the Senate at 10:30 on a Friday night to cast a deciding vote. In Washington, this is the very definition of “baller.”

We also learn that Brown took a government plane arranged by Barack Obama to and from Ohio — where he is burying his mother — because the Republicans quite obviously would have tried to blow up any commercial flight. Now the bill will go to Obama for a signing ceremony on Monday, and after that, they will actually have to write it.


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Lionel Hutz Esq. February 14, 2009 at 4:38 pm

In a sad note, the extra cost of the government plane for Senator Brown is what will doom the Democrats’ plan to failure.

Lionel Hutz Esq. February 14, 2009 at 4:43 pm

And what the hell is up with the Senate? Sherrod? Saxby? Sheldon? Roland? Lamar? Thad? Kit?

Are only kids that were picked on in school allowed to be Senators now? Hell, Limbaugh should run.

Guppy06 February 14, 2009 at 4:44 pm

The Senate has no fax machines?

Aurelio February 14, 2009 at 4:52 pm

I am so thrilled. We now have a workers’ paradise. Trucknutz for all!

V572625694 February 14, 2009 at 4:54 pm

Free at last, free at least, great God almighty I’m…

What? A $400 tax rebate? Shit, with that kinda money, I think’ll start a steel mill. Then we can invite over a bunch of immigrants and make cars

Colander February 14, 2009 at 4:54 pm

Will the signing ceremony be anything like those House Party movies?

chascates February 14, 2009 at 5:01 pm

[re=243962]V572625694[/re]: You don’t get the money up front; it’s just about $13 less in payroll taxes you’ll have to pay every two weeks.
Unfortunately the price of alcohol is going to jump tdue to increased demand so it won’t even cover that.

Bearbloke February 14, 2009 at 5:03 pm

What, no confetti made from shredded $100 bills?…… “New money”, indeed…

iwillsavethispatient February 14, 2009 at 5:30 pm

So, why were 60 votes needed? What was wrong with a 59-39 vote? Hell, what was wrong with a 50-50 vote with Biden deciding? Your crazy American “democracy”! It’d be so much easier if you had a person with divine right to decide all your problems for you. Windsor / Mountbatten 2012!

Dean Booth February 14, 2009 at 5:30 pm

I demand a singing party!

chascates February 14, 2009 at 5:53 pm

[re=243976]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: 60 votes, or 3/5 of the Senate are needed for a motion of cloture, avoiding a filibuster. It only requires a simple majority for you cousins:

Bruno February 14, 2009 at 5:55 pm

I hope he used a jet nationalised from one of the Big 3 to get home. Make those Mo’Fos walk next time

[re=243976]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: Yeah its the consitution at work! It’s harder to beat that rule than the ones about fair trials, innocent until proven guilty, free speech and what have you…ya know the stuff W kinda ignored.

bago February 14, 2009 at 5:56 pm

I remember a rap from my youth that involved a baller and a shot caller.

Bruno February 14, 2009 at 5:57 pm

[re=243977]Dean Booth[/re]: How about a swingers party instead?

iwillsavethispatient February 14, 2009 at 6:01 pm

[re=243982]chascates[/re]: [re=243983]Bruno[/re]: Aha! Thanks… Filibusters, the tactics of an unruly 8 year-old formalized as a political tool.

loquaciousmusic February 14, 2009 at 8:04 pm

In honor of this event, I went to the Apple Store in Stamford and bought a new iMac today. When the Chinese take over, I’ll totally be graphic designing and making music! Anyone want a job?

kingofnothing February 14, 2009 at 8:19 pm

[re=243983]Bruno[/re]: um, where in the Constitution does it say anything about a 3/5 vote to end debate?

chascates February 14, 2009 at 8:34 pm

[re=243999]kingofnothing[/re]: From the Wiki:
A similar procedure was adopted in the United States of America in 1917 in response to the actions of isolationist senators who attempted to talk out, or filibuster, a bill to arm U.S. merchant ships. President Woodrow Wilson urged the Senate to change its rules to thwart what he called a “little group of willful men”, to which the Senate responded by introducing cloture in the form of Rule 22.[1] Cloture was invoked for the first time on November 15, 1919,[2] during the 66th Congress, to end filibuster on the Treaty of Versailles.[3]

kingofnothing February 14, 2009 at 9:07 pm

[re=244001]chascates[/re]: That’s my point. It’s just a Senate rule. It ain’t in the Constitution.

chascates February 14, 2009 at 9:41 pm

[re=244002]kingofnothing[/re]: True. I wonder what other rules both houses have. As well as all of the ‘executive orders’ presidents have issued.

hobospacejungle February 14, 2009 at 10:07 pm

This just shows, once again, how heartless, cruel and stubbornly stupid the Republicans remain. Just one of them could’ve stepped in, said “I’ll vote YES so my esteemed colleague does not have to fly to DC & back while mourning the loss of his mother” and they could’ve scored some PR brownie points. Points which they desperately need from the ~70% of US America which wants to see their heads on pikes.

Country first indeed. I say give ‘em the same treatment Tom Zarek gave the Quorum a week ago on Battlestar Galactica. They are knowingly doing their best to instigate a depression, believing it will help their election prospects in 2010. If that ain’t treason, punishable by death, then nothing is.

DustBowlBlues February 14, 2009 at 10:10 pm

[re=243982]chascates[/re]: “60 votes, or 3/5 of the Senate are needed for a motion of cloture, avoiding a filibuster. ”

Because we’re lame. The fucking filibuster everyone is so afraid of is simply the threat they will filibuster. They never do. If the rat bastards had to recreate “Mr. Smith Goes To Washington” we’ve see some bipartisanship in dc.

Tra February 14, 2009 at 10:13 pm

You know, no humor for once. Thanks to Sherrod Brown for interrupting his arrangements for his mother to make this critical vote.

DustBowlBlues February 14, 2009 at 10:14 pm

I know everyone is running scared about losing their job, which explains why poor Jim is working on St. Valentine’s Day over a three-day weekend. :-(

We appreciate the entertainment, by the way, since I’m one of the many who can’t afford to go anywhere to do anything.

DustBowlBlues February 14, 2009 at 10:21 pm

60 to 38? Who’s missing, other than Franken? Did a Democrat vote against it? Is he being tarred and feathered as I type this?

DustBowlBlues February 14, 2009 at 10:23 pm

[re=243986]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: ” Aha! Thanks… Filibusters, the tactics of an unruly 8 year-old formalized as a political tool.”

First, yes you’re right, that’s a clever way of putting it. Second, Well, one of us is certainly a smarty pants, isn’t he?

DustBowlBlues February 14, 2009 at 10:32 pm

[re=244005]hobospacejungle[/re]: I’m not up on my Battlestar Gallactica but that sounds about right to me. The Republicans have demonstrated they are every bit as bad as I think they are when my family says I blame everything on the Republicans.

Simply put, they are treasonous rat bastards. Does anyone need more than that?

gliberal February 14, 2009 at 10:49 pm

$787 B? Chump change! Rash Limbaugh goes through that much in Cialis and Dominican trannies in a weekend! Wise up, peoples!

benuski February 15, 2009 at 12:08 am

[re=244010]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Ted Kennedy was too sick to come… he’s resting in Florida

tiny mexican February 15, 2009 at 12:12 am

[re=244006]DustBowlBlues[/re]: actually (God I’m a nerd) you need 60 votes for these sorts of economic packages – something to do with increasing the budget, or decreasing it, or flipping it and reversing it, or whatever. It’s not a filibuster thing.

chascates February 15, 2009 at 12:27 am

[re=244030]tiny mexican[/re]: Right. I was wrong, it is what you said. Tho I can’t give the specifics.

Herunar February 15, 2009 at 12:28 am

[re=244030]tiny mexican[/re]:
Increasing the deficit.

Lascauxcaveman February 15, 2009 at 12:39 am

[re=244006]DustBowlBlues[/re]: We need Dan Savage and his bro’s to come up with a really filthy definition for ‘cloture,’ because it almost sounds kinda dirty already by itself. And vaguely French, for some reason. Also.

chascates February 15, 2009 at 12:47 am

[re=244032]Herunar[/re]: I remember now hearing that on NPR. Time, drugs, and alcohol have taken their toll. Plus I didn’t have that much to start with.

PeteJayhawk v2.0 February 15, 2009 at 1:49 am

Dana Saluki seemed to be personally shocked and offended by the bill’s passing. Eat a sandwich, bitch.

glamourdammerung February 15, 2009 at 2:03 am

[re=244005]hobospacejungle[/re]: “They are knowingly doing their best to instigate a depression, believing it will help their election prospects in 2010.”

Too bad the Democratic leadership in Congress is so cowardly that they refuse to drill that point home every time the obstructionists act up.

A Geek Tragedy February 15, 2009 at 5:54 am

[re=243976]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: By Mountbatten you mean Charles or Phil? The latter is too scary to consider.

Iggy Plop February 15, 2009 at 10:34 am

Blago was right – you really can parachute yourself there. Just not the way he meant it.

mylesfromnowhere February 15, 2009 at 11:08 am

On the advice of my broker, I’m using my stimulus money buying up unicorns on ebay. When tehy become the National Animal of the USA, I’ll cash in and be rich beyond my wildest dreams. I think that means i can afford a hooker then. Otherwise, guess I’ll just hang out at the airport restroom.

SayItWithWookies February 15, 2009 at 11:38 am

Can we also hope that this is officially the moment when the Republican party is banished to Siberia? All the Dems have to do now is tell Collins, Snowe and Specter that if they’re in for a dime they may as well be in for a dollar, and all the other senators are doomed to be the 39 ineffectual no votes. Okay maybe it won’t happen that way, but that’s how I’d like the next few years to go anyway.

The Neoskeptic February 15, 2009 at 11:48 am

that man’s vote didn’t count because that wasn’t the REAL sherrod brown. rush limbaugh told me sherrod brown was a black muslin, and rush limbaugh is NEVER wrong.

Servo February 15, 2009 at 12:02 pm

We just spent $787B to restore our old habits. Brilliant! I guess my hopes of Congress acknowledging the awfully painful truth of the drastic changes necessary were aimed a bit too high. I think it would be wise to liquidate all assets and move to safe place to witness the imminent implosion of America. Party’s over, folks.

President Beeblebrox February 15, 2009 at 1:28 pm

[re=243999]kingofnothing[/re]: Article I, Section 5, with those old-tyme capitalized nouns:

“Each House may determine the Rules of its Proceeding…”

President Beeblebrox February 15, 2009 at 1:30 pm

[re=244005]hobospacejungle[/re]: Whereas Limbaugh and Hannity get the treatment Adama gave Zarek and Gaeta.

PAbitter February 15, 2009 at 1:44 pm

Well, Sherrod Brown is a baller.

True story: at Yale, they used to invite all the alumni who were politicians in Washington back to hob-nob with the University president. Then-Rep. Brown used this opportunity to pester the president about the poor working conditions at the University. Eventually the president got tired of this and eliminated the meetings altogether.

DustBowlBlues February 15, 2009 at 4:42 pm

[re=244033]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Cloture sounds sort of French, you’re right. Like, the new line of Haute Cloture. Combines the snobbishness of haute anything with the sound of anglo saxon obscenity.

BTW, Tiny Mexican know it all: How did this come about, this 60 votes for a deficit vote? It sounds sort of like the days when Democrats in congress decided that, you know, legislation should basically not be from borrowed money.

I note no one is paying attention on this thread now, but I’ve been wondering how the next vote for the war will go. How many Democrats will point out that the war is being paid for by the generations to follow us? Not that they haven’t done it before but it sort of resonates more post-repug self-righteousness over the deficit.

You know, like any war worth fighting is worth paying for? And if the Americans don’t want to pay fucking taxes, then get out of this fucking quagmire? It’s all going to end up the same. Leave Iraz-Afg, now, carnage ensues. Leave next year, carnage ensues. Leave ten years from now, carnage ensues. Maybe it we stay fifty or a hundred years and force the Iraquis and Afghan people to go through the learning phase the west experienced during the Enlightenment, it will go well.

DustBowlBlues February 15, 2009 at 4:45 pm

[re=244069]PAbitter[/re]: I knew I loved Sherrod Brown. He should’ve been a union organizer. Or, was he? For all I know, he came into being the moment he ran for the senate.

DustBowlBlues February 15, 2009 at 4:48 pm

[re=244040]glamourdammerung[/re]: Amen. Drill it home the way the did tax-and-spend liberals. Especially when it’s aimed at Dixie Jew or Boner. I can’t stand any of those cretins.

lawrenceofthedesert February 15, 2009 at 5:09 pm

Was Sherrod’s mother dead when he buried her? Just asking.

Jukesgrrl February 16, 2009 at 12:08 am

[re=244033]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: [Definition] CLOTURE: When a mademoiselle slams her legs together because she notices the monsieur about to nail her has too wide a stance. Most likely to occur on the few occasions Republicans try to have hetero-sex.

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