Wonkette
Mark McKinnon, the lonesome cowboy who preferred to quit John McCain’s campaign rather than say a cross word about Barack Obama, is great friends with the former president George W. Bush and recently went biking with him at his ranch. McKinnon fell off his bicycle and BUNGED HISSELF UP GOOD, breaking his collarbone and knocking himself out for several minutes. When he awoke, he found himself in a tub full of ice with a seven-inch incision where his kidneys used to be, and George Bush jumped out of the closet wearing a Batman costume… [New York Post]
He wouldn’t have run off the trail if Bush has properly cleared that brush.
Mark didn’t yell “Air Assault” enough for W’s liking so W jammed a stick into his spokes.
How much of a klutz are you to fall off your bike? Maybe they were doing that X-games biking crap off ramps or something….
But, having ridden with the president before, I know how hard he rides.
Translation: “I wish I could quit you!”
Cowboy hats do not make good bike helmets. Fact!
McKinnon’s kidneys are either sitting in Cheney’s fridge or being sold on the Argentinian black market.
he brought his “personal doctor” along for the visit. this is looking gayer by the minute.
Monsieur Grumpe: Win.
WHERE WAS CHENEY?
Just a day earlier, then-Transportation Secretary Mary Peters said in a speech that the absence of fatalities for two consecutive years, 2007 and 2008, marked the first such streak since U.S. airlines started using jets in the 1950s.
Forgot to knock on wood.
They had a spat, a tiff, superficial, yet somehow deep. A tearful Bush was storming home in full dudgeon, with McKinnon hastily, clumsily trying to keep up. He only wanted to apologize! Oh if he only had it to do all over again. But no. The Iraqi child’s heart he had offered as this year’s Valentine was somehow viewed as a snub. Probably because George had already got at least 50 from other well-wishers and hoped Mark had got him something “special.”
Texan Bulldoggette: Yeah. Sounds like McKinnon was the ramp.
Are they sure he was knocked out by the fall? Where was Cheney when this happened? Was he armed?
If Jr. was a real man, he would have shot him in the face like Cheney did to that guy that pissed him off.
Oh, and thank you, Serolf Divad:
Where’s the YouTube faceplant video?
Come here a minute: Wrong thread, moran.
“Bunged hisself up good” - Thanks, Sara K. I was just getting all misty last night about how I miss the south, and then you go say something like this and make me miss the white trash all over again.
Delicious: Here it is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANZjRhoKrkI
…I envision it going something like THIS!
Wrong threads are the entire basis of Wonkette humor!!1!1 My whole life is spent in the wrong thread!
Also.
…Mark McKinnon does look like he needs a little asphalt in his diet!
Come here a minute: Jesus those dicks at NRO are watching us man. GET YER HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS!!!!
Some people don’t know when to leave off putting baseball cards in their spokes.
This is surprising — Dubya had it on good intelligence that the path was level and straight.
Is “bunged hisself up good” a euphemism for “got shot in the face”?
SayItWithWookies:
“Osama Bin Ladin determined to trip up Mark McKinnon.”
>>BUNGED HISSELF UP GOOD
He broke hims collarbone while fingering his bunghole? Man, talk about doing it wrong…
Serolf Divad: “Nobody could have anticipated a bad spill on this bike ride.”
I did this when I was thirteen. Was looking down for some reason & ran into a parked car. Woke up on the street missing a few teeth. So I took the only recourse available to me at the time — I started crying until a grownup came to my assistance.
Later I spent hours undergoing dental surgery at the hands of a Mormon dentist. The scars are with me to this day. Who knows what magic underwear incantations he whispered in my ear while I was in such a vulnerable state.
SayItWithWookies: Yes, this will be one of Dubya’s “regrets”…
too little, too late
Some people just don’t know what to do when confronted by a nude Dick Cheney, greased up with a knife in his teeth, and jumping out of the sagebrush onto the bike path. McKinnon panicked, but he’s still alive, he’s just lucky Bush remembered Cheney’s safe word.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
Rattlesnake!
Must warrentlessly wire-tap, torture bikesellers, and invade Mexico to prevent the faceplant that already happened.
AngryBlakGuy:
More like this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWONWrK7uCY
George is still slapping his knees and laughing. “Shudda seen the ole Macky Mackster go spinnin over them handlebars and landing on his head and skidding along on his face. I’m still da Man!”
Anyone who’s done trailriding on a bicycle knows the score. And, there is a sadistic tradition among trail riders to “initiate” “probies” on the worst possible conditions, making pain and suffering almost inevitable. Unfortunately, no quality of character involved in trail riding — any a**h*** can do it. If you’re willing to take the pain.
naugiedoggie: Were they trailriding? I kindan pictured McKinnon as dumbass roadie who put on an expensive-ass ZIPP disc wheel and then got hit by The Crosswind of Justice. If only…
Ahhh…W…is there anything he touches that doesn’t crash and break?
Simultaneously, Bush choked on a pretzel and blacked out.
Remember: Biking buzzed is biking drunk.
SayItWithWookies: “You go into the ride with the bike you have, not the bike you wish you had”.
I thought that cowboy in the picture was David Morse.
That was the closest I came to caring about the guy.
Speaking of Bush’s pals, I wonder why Wonkette hasn’t commented on Karl Rove’s twittering about his South Texas hunting trip with Fox News host Chris Wallace?
Dunk bike riding is ALWAYS dangerous.