Wonkette
Here’s your boyfriend Barack Obama with Virginia schlub Tim Kaine, on location for their cameo appearance in the film adaptation of Cormac McCarthy’s The Road. Keep those artsy White House pictures coming, Pete Souza! [White House]
HELLSCAPES
Barack Obama Lets Tim Kaine Stand On Presidential Astroturf
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Can I have a $20 an hour job running that backhoe?
That is going to be one kick-ass putt putt.
Aha! This is more proof that the failed NObama Presidency is going to lead to the greatest populist revolution since Ronald Reagan. I know it because Teh Corner told me, and they’re never wrong.
location: future site of homes that no one has money to buy.
Pete Souza my ass. I recognize primo David Lynch when I see it.
Real Americans use natural grass.
Are they at a atrip mine?
They can’t stand on the ground like normal people? Is the soil an insult to their soles?
Presenting, your President of Green Jobs.
“And lo, where Lord Barry didst walk, life sprang forth from the sterile ground. When he stopped to speak, a podium wouldst appear, as though by magic…”
freakishlystrong: atrip? what the fuck is wrong with you? STRIP, anyway.
Yes, but did the President let Kaine grab his hose?
Kaine - Schlub or Daddy? Discuss
See, folks — this is what happens when you allow abortion — God turns the earth into a barren wasteland, and the hypocrite must cover it with fake greenery to hide the consequences of his shameful actions. Let this be a lesson to you all!
After announcing the plan to create jobs, the president added, “Now watch this drive.”
Come here a minute: OMG that’s funny. That Bush moment, “I call on all nations to … stop these terrorist killers… now watch this drive…” is, for me, the single most embarrassing moment of W’s two terms.
Also, you know he sliced the shit out of that drive…
Oh my god, I KNEW it! He and Tiger Woods really ARE the same person! (I mean, really, how many ‘well spoken’ half breeds can there be?)
CivicHoliday: “Knee Injury” my freakishly-white ass!
They have to keep Barry’s feet on artificial surfaces at all times. If he comes into contact with the natural elements, the Matrix will crash.
Nice buulet-proof podium they’ve got there. Jesus Christ.
Tim Kaine’s noggin looks shovel-ready.
magic titty:
Hey, it’ll work…as long as William Tell is trying to assasinate the First Unit.
“So the additional funding in the package will allow us to complete the Fairfax County Xtreme Mossy Motocross Park. Now, if you all will please stand back a little bit, Govenor Kaine will hold my jacket while I execute a filthy 360 Off Axis Back.”
Theodorick Of York: You’re not accounting for girth.
If you squint hard and look at the background, you can see a gopher shimmying to the sweet sounds of Kenny Loggins.
magic titty:
Point take…upon further review that podium is only about half the diameter of his thigh…
should be tall enough though.
It’ll probably reach the bottom, but it’ll definitely bang the hell out of the sides.
Lorax:
This is a hybrid. This is a cross, ah, of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff.
Yeah, you guessed it…slow day at work!
At least they didn’t stoop to wearing Carhartt jackets and boots, etc. I like my guv’ment workers to wear coats and ties, have dirty shoes, schlubby hair, and too-long, unpressed pants. Now watch me sign this bill.
Barry should just get one of them presidential seal thingy on a chain like flava flav. This way he will have it whereva he goes!
loudmouthredhead: WIN!
ToeCramps: Great idea!