Well hooray for those people, the ones in the Senate and House who agreed on this $790 billion thrifty stimulation bill, because it’s already working! Battered and confused Consumers began retroactively buying shit again in January. Change is here! (The Dow’s already down another 150 points.) [CNN/Bloomberg]
Stimulus Bill Saves Economy!
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Believe me, based on the number of hands it’s taking me to type this comment, the Stimulus is working.
In honor of the stimulus bill passing, I bought a new computer, last year.
It was all the liquor and guns the wingnuts bought for Inauguration
Onetime bump from the sale of Obama inaugural bobble-head bongs.
Stimulus jokes don’t have the humor or longeivity of assfucking/TruckNutz jokes. Can we stop with “Stimulus = Boner” jokes now?
Yes, and this tin foil hat I put on this morning has been preventing space aliens from sucking out my brain juices for forever. And FDR is again working from beyond the grave and outside time to bring the Dow down. Also.
Hey guys: I say we all go out and buy one of these to help give Hopey’s stimulus a little push and help restore consumer confidence.
Umm, you left out the last sentence: “…an advance that may not be sustained as job losses climb.”
Translation: we’re all doomed.
If this keeps up, the Republicans are going to have to change the name of the Obama Recession to the Obama Dead Cat Bounce. And if the stimulus actually works, it’ll be changed again — to the Bush Recovery.
Ken, when you die your grave will read “Pre hoc ergo propter hoc.”
Of course the Dow slid 150 points at the news that the Stimulus deal was almost done and people were buying shit again. They’re just going to keep having sell-a-thons to see how much they can get out of us.
In poker, you have to at least throw a couple bones to your opponent to make sure they take the hook, but we’re so dumb that stockbrokers don’t even need to bother. They just have to ask Harry Reid very politely, and endure a ten minute rant by some Congressman nobody cares about.
As regards the actual time paradox, I was so excited by my foreknowledge of the stimulus bill, I bought a laptop two months ago.
What the heck does the Dow want with us?
[re=241962]SayItWithWookies[/re]:
Actually there was a very interesting segment on last night’s Hardball in which Chris Matthews asked NY Rep. Peter King what the GOP would say if the economy has substantially recovered in the next couple of years, given that not one GOP representative voted for it. King replied along the lines of: well at that point the argument will be whether it was the Obama stimulus plan or something else operating in the economy that led to the recovery.
It was pretty eye opening and a tacit admission that the GOP will never agree to give Obama credit for anything good that happens in this country over the next 4 years.
Apparently, Barry’s magic unicorn can time-travel.
Well YEAH retail sales are up unexpectedly due to all the bailout money getting spent on Valentine’s gifts for fancy whores who are demanding the ice or else no dice.
My pet theory is that most companies finished their major after-Christmas layoffs. Main reason people haven’t been spending the past few months is because they were scared they were going to lose their jobs. Once the first round of layoffs finished, those that weren’t fired looked around, relaxed and started spending a bit more.
More rice for Chinese bowls.
[re=241968]Serolf Divad[/re]: The GOP is nothing if not faith-based. And there’s a long-established Biblical prinicple wherein the good kings of Judea — who tossed the idols out of the Temple and adhered to strict Deuteronomical proscriptions — were given credit for all the good stuff that happened, even on a subsequent king’s watch. And the reason the bad, secular kings managed to prosper in spite of the fact that they traded with other peoples and didn’t care much for priestly observances was that God held off exercising his wrath due to the credit built up by the previous good king.
So the Republicans aren’t living in a dream world of their own making — they’re holding true to the Biblical principles that made ancient Judea the — ahem — great power it was.
[re=241956]InsidiousTuna[/re]: Re: stimulus = hardon. Also!
The retail increase was from two million people buying handwarmers and prints of themselves happily standing in a highway tunnel under the Mall at noon on January 20.
Update: Susan Collins is still ruining America.
I guess the four pints of blood and six units of plasma I sold this year pushed us over the top! That and all my shit I had to sell at the garage sale to pay my heating bill, which will now go down due to global warming (which usually happens about spring and summer).
Go Team Hope!
It must have something to do with all those millions of newly coronated welfare queens buying Cadilacs and fur coats.
When m i gunna git mah chek?
That was fast! To celebrate I’m going to buy me a bigger cardboard box and maybe I’ll just move it under one of those big fancy bridges that doesn’t fall down.
What’s with all the doom & gloom about the Dow dropping? Haven’t you people ever heard of dollar cost averaging? It’s going to save your asses! Suze Orman said so! And so did Oprah! Loudly!
DOW 600, BABY!
I hope Republican predictions of doom following Obama’s stimulus plan are as accurate as their predictions that Bill Clinton’s budget-balancing tax hike in ’93 would lead to a economic disaster. ‘Tweren’t so.
Taint Twasnt Twerent Neither Dick Not Ass Quarterly
It’s INSANE this guy’s taint!
[re=241968]Serolf Divad[/re]: [re=241988]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Worst. President. EVAR. (At least according to the GOP.)
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