The D.C. intelligentsia already read the Washington Times religiously to stay abreast of our old pal Liz Glover’s encounters with celebrities such as John King, who wore a custom-made suit to some event or another. But! Now there is another reason to read the Times! That reason is called “Mitt Romney.” He will participate in a series of columns by Republican luminaries about reinventing conservatism, presumably through such bold measures as “restoring the legacy of Ronald Reagan” and “abolishing government.” [Boston Globe]
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{ 42 comments }
Meh. Someone remind Mittens we are living the legacy of Raygun… “mourning in America.”
“”Governor Jindal embodies what I have long said: The Republican Party must not be simply the party of ‘opposition,’ but the party of better solutions,” House minority leader John Boehner of Ohio said in a statement.”
Rep Boehner upon actually meeting Gov Jindal was later heard saying ‘wait, he’s brown?! there goes half of our constituency.’
I’m still trying to figure out what made Romney quit the race and hand it over to McCain when it looked like he was winning.
If you want me to read the Times, I want Reverend Moon to come to my house and deliver it personally. And even then, I probably won’t read it.
The only thing I pray for more fervently than a 2012 ticket which includes Sarah Palin is a weekly Mitt Romney column in the WashTimes.
GOP must become the Party of Fudge.
[re=241904]Sussemilch[/re]: Because that never happened. Romney couldn’t do shit on Super Tuesday and his chances were basically fucked. He never once looked like he was winning.
‘He will participate in a series of columns by Republican luminaries about reinventing conservatism.’
Mitt will push the idea that all they really need to do is promise everyone that they will make all their dreams come true.
Thank you John King for the levity. Poor, poor Liz. Please don’t become the WT Alan Coombs.
The last time a Repug reinvented the party they kicked him out and he had to form the Bullwinkle’s Balls party, paving the way for Woodrow Wilson to fail at being president. At least, I think that’s what it was called. Can I get a fact check?
[re=241914]DoctorCulturae[/re]: What’s wrong with being like Alan Coombs? Liz would make a great vampire.
I’m looking forward to a Moonie-Mormon smackdown.
[re=241909]Godot[/re]: Plus Ann Romney was getting pissed that Mittens was using up all of their own funds for the primaries, because Mitt couldn’t get anyone to donate to him.
[re=241922]shanemacgowan[/re]: Moonies ‘n Mormons, two great nutjobs that taste great together.
Why don’t these turdballs just exhume Reagan, have Coulter do a lap dance on his bones, & let Hannity/O’Reilly/Limbaugh suck what’s left of his dick??
Romney pens his first masterpiece:
“RONALD REAGAN RONALD REAGAN RONALD REAGAN RONALD REAGAN RONALD REAGAN RONALD REAGAN RONALD REAGAN RONALD REAGAN; RONALD REAGAN RONALD REAGAN RONALD REAGAN. RONALD REAGAN RONALD REAGAN RONALD REAGAN RONALD REAGAN RONALD REAGAN RONALD. REAGAN RONALD, REAGAN— RONALD REAGAN RONALD REAGAN RONALD REAGAN”
[re=241927]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]:
My God…the mental image is too foul to even comprehend.
Don’t forget, Republican Party, you’re going to have to be “hip” and “with it” and “groovy”. Go watch the YouTube clip of Mittens cozying up to a passel of voters of color, asking who let the dogs out. Watch it over and over and over. Admire. Emulate.
[re=241909]Godot[/re]: True. The media aggressively pushed Mittens (he just LOOKS so damned presidential) but the GOP voters never really bought into it. The only reason he was able to hold on as long as he did was because the GOP voters didn’t think much of any of the other options either. How bad did the Republican candidates have to be that a BLACK MAN was able to win in this racist, racist country?
The sweetest part about this is that the WT has never turned a profit in its entire history — so the bastion of conservatism is a — um — subsidized newspaper. Way to win in the free market of ideas, guys!
Think of how much easier it will be to park downtown if we could just get rid of the government. Vest all power in the sheriff, who is responsible only to the king. Please see to it, Mitt.
[re=241918]Johnetic[/re]: Oh my. Perhaps the WT cut out the last half of the “conversation” with Miss Am.?
The sole benefit of Prop. 8 passing in CA is that we can now in good conscience publicly and flagrantly mock and humiliate Mormons for having one of the stupidest excuses for a newly made-up religion in the world. So, Mittens, your play.
[re=241909]Godot[/re]: He won seven states and McCain won nine, right after losing a narrow fight in Florida. Guiliani stripped a lot of votes from him and then turned around and gave them to McCain, and it went from a tight race to a resignation in about 8 days. At least he recognized when he was beat. Huck & Hill stuck around frickin’ forever.
[re=241933]frumious_bandersnatch[/re]: They’ll get right on that, right after Joe the Plumber sells them a buncha digital cuntvirgin boxes. For the economy!
Fuck Mittens. That mirthless, robotic piece of crap should already be some forgotten relic of politics past. Also.
Everytime the GOP starts talking about reinventing themselves they come right back to Reagan. Why is that? I was a little young to fully take in the Reagan years but it just doesn’t make sense. He could never summon a fact, he grew the government to a huge size and increased debt (am I right?) but gosh (!) he was just so dang funny in his press conferences!
Reagan, Dubya, Palin… I guess all you really need to be a serious political candidate is a couple of good one-liners, a wink and a smile. And they call us a “cult of personality”… sheesh.
Pipe dream. You can’t restore the Reagan legacy without the Red Menace, and the Red Menace just isn’t what it used to be.
[re=241946]Sussemilch[/re]: 7 states vs 9 states sounds good. The REAL race, the one for delegates, was much more one-sided with 568 for McCain and a paltry 176 for Mittens. In other words, McCain got 3 delegates for every 1 Romney got, and then he got 40 more delegates on top of that. It was close in the delegate count before that, 112-94 in McCain’s favor, but Super Tuesday pushed the contest way the fuck out of Mittens’ reach at 680-270. And he conceded immediately after he had no realistic shot anymore. It’s not the fucking X-Files, it’s pretty fucking logical.
[re=241917]Johnetic[/re]: I think it was called Bullwinkle’s Salty Chocolate Balls Party. Also.
I’m from the federal government and I’m here to listen in on your phone calls.
[re=241931]shortsshortsshorts[/re]:
Gah, you beat me to it.
Or, alternately, maybe Mittens will start writing in Smurf talk, but using “Regan” instead of “Smurf”.
“What America needs is a Regany course of action where we start Reganing the Regans very Reganly again, resulting in Regantastically increasing the national Regans.”
[re=241971]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: Seriously, the whole “cult of personality” thing infuriates me on a level few other things can match. They didn’t complain when they elected Raygun of Hollywood, and they didn’t complain when they turned out in droves to vote Bush because “he was the candidate they’d most like to have a beer with.” It’s only a talking point when they have a candidate with precisely zero personality to form a cult around.
Actually, no. They fangasmed when they had Palin with her alleged charm and good looks, and they STILL bitched about Obama being “all style and no substance.” So no, I guess it’s not hypocrisy. Just cognitive dissonance.
[re=241974]Min[/re]: Correct.
To do list of Repubtard things to be afraid of:
1. Commies – check
2. Ruskies – check
3. teh Negroes – check
4. Welfare mothers – check
5. Spanish-speaking immigrants -check
6. Islamists – check
7. Socialism – check
[re=241931]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Y’know, I’m now singing that to the tune of “Rock Me, Amadeus”
o/~ Reagan Ronald Reagan o/~
[re=241986]Schadenfried[/re]: Take that Denby – all us girls love us some face checkin’.
OK, so Romney was governor for one term, ran a (thieving, immoral) financial services company for a while, played Head Mormon at the Bribery Winter Olympics and then…?
He and Huckleberry are just professional presidential candidates. They talk about Hopey being inexperienced. Just for a good laugh, imagine Mormotron 9000 winning in 2016. He will have spent basically 14, 16 years being a professional presidential candidate, which is pretty much the lowest form of human life, just below White House reporter for a news network. And the best work he can find in between is an every now and then column in the Moonie Times. What a maroon. What a gulli-bull. What a nin-cow-poop. Fuck him right in the ear.
Say what you will, but I really like the idea of Mitt Romney as a fudge packer. Yum!
Ronald Reagan was a good campaigner, which most Republicans are not; they can’t disguise their loathing of “the masses.” They can’t disguise the appeal of their party to the baser instincts of humanity, such as elitism, racism, homophobia and the claim to spiritual superiority by Christianity despite a lack of evidence. Reagan sold that whole nasty package to the very mopes who made Republicans feel superior, a feat akin to selling snow to Eskimos. That’s why he’s revered, despite having the intellect of a baboon. You couldn’t respect him, but you hated to run against him.
I hope he will remember to use lube this time.
Can we just exhume Reagan and let Romney make love to his rotting corpse on the Washington Mall? Please? I’d like for this to be over with.
[re=242322]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: No, it’s illegal to have sexual relations with someone who’s brain-dead, so they’d have to arrest him. And the DC cops have enough problems without having to explain why they’ve got Ronald Reagan’s rotting corpse in jail.
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