YES WE CAN  12:47 pm February 12, 2009

Introducing Wonkabout, the D.C. Guide

by Ken Layne

The D.C. Guide!Here’s something you don’t see too often, these days, during the Great Big Depression: the launch of a new publication! It’s called Wonkabout, and it’s your guide to all that is fun and interesting and weird and tasty and boozey in Washington D.C., the new capital of the world. Yes We Can!

We’re hardly the first to note that Washington has become pretty damned sexy since Barack Obama and two million friends had a little party down on the National Mall last month. But we’re the first to start a post-inauguration publication specifically about all the fine stuff Washington has to offer, HA!, and we hope you’ll make it your “What the hell should I do tonight?” web stop.

Send us your tips and complaints, and don’t be shy about pimping your gallery openings and farmers markets and happy hours and weeknight four-band no-cover shows. We’ve got a small army of vampires, foodies, drunks, bookish losers and culture vultures on call, and they are looking for fun.

Thanks much to BlogAds and Pressflex for getting this Wonkabout online, and to our interns Malaka Gharib and Juli Weiner and Elizabeth Askew for being all over town all the time, and to John Santos for the fancy new Wonkabout artwork.

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Hola wonkerados.

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gambypants February 12, 2009 at 12:49 pm

ooooohhhh fancy pants!

Heywood Floyd February 12, 2009 at 12:51 pm

Sign me up for the Marion Barry Tour Package.

SayItWithWookies February 12, 2009 at 12:53 pm

The Bush Recovery is finally fixing the Obama Recession!

shanemacgowan February 12, 2009 at 12:55 pm

[re=242072]Heywood Floyd[/re]: With the Rita Jenrette excursion.

nonbeliever7 February 12, 2009 at 12:58 pm

I’d like to see the chocolate factory.

NoWireHangers February 12, 2009 at 1:02 pm

I like this blue color and that creepy wonkette head moon face thing. Stylish. Sexy.

Colander February 12, 2009 at 1:04 pm

Ok, so in which bathrooms can I find me a husband?

american mutt February 12, 2009 at 1:04 pm

I don’t get it. How many things are there to do in DC? That place is a fifth the size of San Antonio TX and there’s nothing to do there.

Lascauxcaveman February 12, 2009 at 1:04 pm

I was just going back through the posts and all a sudden there’s the thing about the Lord of the Rings being the favorite conservative movie about gay elves and now it’s all WTF blue.

Min February 12, 2009 at 1:05 pm

I like the hansom cabs pulled by unicorns, myself.

Come here a minute February 12, 2009 at 1:06 pm

[re=242079]nonbeliever7[/re]: You get NOTHING! You LOSE! Good DAY sir.

Iggy Plop February 12, 2009 at 1:07 pm

so this is what having all those interns is about. slowly colonizing the damn intertubes one tastfully chosen background color at a time.

rockstarjoe February 12, 2009 at 1:07 pm

There is this shady pizza place in the Mayor’s Building that makes the god damn best chicken salad sandwhich in the city. There, I helped.

Serolf Divad February 12, 2009 at 1:09 pm

Holy crap! Is this like a 2 for 1 stock split?

Kev-O-Tron February 12, 2009 at 1:09 pm

Can we get a list of which seedy, dive bars have glory holes in the bathrooms because that would save me a lot of trouble.

Lazy Media February 12, 2009 at 1:10 pm

Great, just as I’m moving back to Atlanta. Fine.

loquaciousmusic February 12, 2009 at 1:10 pm

Oooh, Palatino! We’re really going upscale!


Texan Bulldoggette February 12, 2009 at 1:11 pm

Wait, you guys have jobs & ummm…money for going out & stuff in DC? That’s pretty damn elitist–here in real America we’re stocking up on Ramen noodles & figuring out how long we can go without bathing.

operation limey February 12, 2009 at 1:12 pm

[re=242072]Heywood Floyd[/re]: does the tour guide periodically yell “the bitch set me up”?

naveed February 12, 2009 at 1:13 pm

Good luck with that!

jagorev February 12, 2009 at 1:14 pm

Not a bad idea, Ken Layne – this could develop into a LNS for non-douchebags – but you need to Web 2.0 it up a little bit. I would suggest at least a Facebook group, that updates every time Wonkabout gets updates, because the kids these days check their Facebook friend feed way more often than anything else. Also, party pics are a necessity, and will ensure frequent checking of the site. Also, I don’t know, maybe make the interns twitter live from events or some shit like that? Also.

jagorev February 12, 2009 at 1:15 pm

Also, you’ve got to do something about the font sizes when you click on a tag (like Books):

Lascauxcaveman February 12, 2009 at 1:20 pm

I hope this new thing is paying some bills, because like all new things, I HATE it.

Mild Midwesterner February 12, 2009 at 1:21 pm

Isn’t a Wonkabout what they call the trade policy geek over at the Australian Embassy?

Rush February 12, 2009 at 1:22 pm

Just tell me what the “F” is a Hoya and that’s about all I need to know about PelosiLand.

nmmagayar February 12, 2009 at 1:22 pm

That totally freaked me out when Wonkette turned blue and shit

nmmagayar February 12, 2009 at 1:22 pm

Also, why did Ana shave off her lovely tresses? Also

NotNotLickingToads February 12, 2009 at 1:23 pm

[re=242098]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I have a decent job, but am still trying to figure out how long I can go without bathing, so employment and filth are not mutually exclusive.

Kev-O-Tron February 12, 2009 at 1:23 pm

[re=242102]jagorev[/re]: also more tits plz, also.

freakishlystrong February 12, 2009 at 1:23 pm

10 whore diamonds for the first ass fucking entry in the new glamourous Wonkabout, (and I like very much).

dougbob February 12, 2009 at 1:24 pm

what is up with the extra large type? (on the wonkabout frontpage; the articles read normally once you click on the “more” link”. i use google chrome, btw) i hope your audience isn’t so old that they need that kind of help.

Neon Trotsky February 12, 2009 at 1:25 pm

Nightlife? Getting about? So, what, this is like a dating website now?

S/M/Paultard seeking human female

Mustang February 12, 2009 at 1:26 pm

That Wonkette moon is darned cute as heck. I could just pinch its little cheek.

Naked Bunny with a Whip February 12, 2009 at 1:27 pm

You’re just too cowardly to cover all the sexy excitement of the nightlife in Des Moines.

Mr Blifil February 12, 2009 at 1:32 pm

Um, Wankabout?

MisterGotRox February 12, 2009 at 1:34 pm

If I were the kind of human who liked leaving my cave and interacting with the other humans, I would be all over this.

Instead, meh.

Trixie February 12, 2009 at 1:35 pm

Great idea. I just moved here in the fall and know nothing about where to go here.

whorediamondsareforever February 12, 2009 at 1:38 pm

hooray, but i’m really creeped out by the bald Wonkette. she looks like one of those scary genius babies that can probably read your mind and shit.

Red Zeppelin February 12, 2009 at 1:41 pm

Third stall from the left, National Gallery men’s room, West Building, 4:00 p.m. Oh, wait a second, maybe that’s not what you meant by cultural activities.

Dr Tobias Funke February 12, 2009 at 2:08 pm

Your interns ‘get around town’?!? HOT/WIN

sarahconnor February 12, 2009 at 2:18 pm

Is that Garmond font? always seductive…

bobbyloo February 12, 2009 at 3:21 pm

The font you use for the body text: it looks gorgeous on a Mac. But it’s next to impossible to read on a PC!

ToeCramps February 12, 2009 at 4:07 pm

Will this Wonkabout have coupons where one can get a 5 diamond hoe for 3 diamonds? Will the edition of the WonkaWonka stimulate my economy by letting me know where I can go to get stimulation? Or is the Wonkabonbon a little sexy pamphlet that uses pornoterrific fonts? Get back to me!

wickedlittledoll February 12, 2009 at 4:30 pm

DC is the new capital of the world and Chicago is the new sewer!

revhatchell February 12, 2009 at 5:13 pm

is this going to be anything like ‘big hollywood’?

PolicyWhore February 12, 2009 at 5:23 pm

The Pour House knows my shame!

thetalltexan February 12, 2009 at 6:12 pm

I could have used this shit last month.

PolicyWhore February 12, 2009 at 7:10 pm

There needs to be a button of the headers of both Wonkette and Wonkabout so that we can easily switch to either’s front page.

atodd February 13, 2009 at 3:12 am

can i get some kerning on that logo? blech.

Pop Socket February 13, 2009 at 6:22 am

Bookish losers? hey, I resemble that remark.

Veronica Corningstone February 13, 2009 at 9:14 am

Your events aren’t all going to be held in yoga parlors and smell like ball sweat, are they?

AlexisHidell February 13, 2009 at 1:35 pm

[re=242108]Mild Midwesterner[/re]: No, a Wonkabout is when you get the shits from eating too many el cheapo Chinese Valentine chocolates or salmonella-tainted peanut butter cups.

ella February 13, 2009 at 3:20 pm

The blue background makes me think of Tiffany and the present from there I’m not getting for Valentine’s Day.

But more to the point — congratulations on Wonkabout! May your page views grow faster than dandelions in July.

smellyal8r February 13, 2009 at 9:50 pm

[re=243134]AlexisHidell[/re]: That’s “Wonka-butt…”

Srsly, ya’ll, this is great. I love the Wonkette Moon smiling down on the land. Plus, there’s always some sort of pub crawl up and down P Street in and around the Dupont Circle area.

Captain Swing February 15, 2009 at 7:01 am

The blue background is certainly cool, but I don’t know how my beautiful Wonkette Girl feels about the Kojak look- I’d tread carefully if I was you Ken, wimmenz get really tetchy about stuff like that…

llemma February 15, 2009 at 11:55 am

PLEASE tell me how to get this off my rss feed. I don’t freaking leave the house.

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