Wonkette
Kathleen Parker is one of the many conservative columnists who was run out of Crazy Town by wrathful yokels brandishing pitchforks and shouting “NOBAMA” when she dared venture the opinion that Barack Obama was a smart man while John McCain had sold his withered “soul” to the toothless wingnut contingent of the Republican party. Parker appears to be coming back around, though.
She does not love Our Barry anymore, due to his inexperience, and the fact that he apologizes for things like a pussy.
Obama’s eager confession — “I screwed up” — hit a hollow note. Doubtless, he was trying to demonstrate “change” by distinguishing himself from Bush, who could never quite put a finger on his mistakes. Rather than seeming Trumanesque in stopping the buck at his desk, Obama seemed more like an abused spouse who starts her day saying, “I’m sorry. It’s all my fault.”
He appeared weak.
She also found his press conference boring. Obviously, his presidency is doomed.
So Far, Amateur Hour [Washington Post]
By the way Kathy, how long did it take you to figure out that Bush was a disaster?
This tank was getting way too crowded anyway.
So, that black eye wasn’t really from falling down a staircase?
She prefers a manly man who knows how to fuck this country vigorously.
Jeez, she must be hell on the men she screws for the first time.
“WHAT do you mean you don’t know where my G-Spot is!”
(G-Spot?)
“Yes! You should know everything that excites me the first time out! Get out! Get out NOW!”
How does she know how an abused spouse begins the day?
“She does not love Our Barry anymore, due to his inexperience, and the fact that he apologizes for things like a pussy.”
I’m sorry she feels that way.
She just wants to see his big package for herself…whip it out, big boy…!
Is this another iteration of the Michelle “Angry Black Woman” Obama trope? Is Parker suggesting that Barry gets beat up by “rage queen” Michelle, cause he’s a weak apologizer and “abused spouse”?
NO APOLOGIES. BLAME IRAN. LETS DO THIS.
Wait a second, is she tacitly condemning spousal abuse? BOOOOOO!!!! NOOBAMA!!!!! This is goddamn America and folks’n abuse they’re wives if folks’n damn well please!!
Nine minutes into the first answer to the first question, I began missing Bush’s customary dispatch. Bush’s contempt for the media meant he never stayed long enough to bore us.
Parker is obviously addicted to meaningless twaddle and is having a hard time going cold turkey. Dubya’s speeches — let alone his off-the-top-of-his-head answers at his infrequent pressers — were a soporific mishmash of cliches and platitudes designed to completely disengage the brain. His speechwrites were the Lionel Ritchies of political discourse, serving up airy puff-pastries to occupy neocon press trolls like her while an iron fist was squeezing the balls of Constitutional democracy.
Well, let her complain — the more she whines about having to digest whole wheat instead of Cheetos and confectioner’s sugar, the more we know President Obama’s on the right track.
Kathleen, would you feel different if he wore a suit? Hmmmmmm?
Seriously, could this Hussein guy be any more of a milquetoast? Presidents don’t make mistakes, sir; the press makes mistakes that you regret. It’s okay, it’s a learning process.
This reminds me of that Friends episode with Bruce Willis, for some reason.
Way to blame the victim Kathy. I suppose if he hadn’t bored you with his speech you wouldn’t have had to give him that black eye?
Having had the misfortune to read Ms. Parker’s tirades for a while now, I’ve concluded that the little twit will say anything to get attention. It’s how she makes a buck, sure, but couldn’t they replace her with someone a teeny bit more intelligent?
Yeah, nothing conveys strength like being a clueless blowhard. She must dry-hump O’Reilly constantly.
“change” by distinguishing himself from Bush, who could never quite put a finger on his mistakes.”
So, she prefers somone who will admit a mistake to someone who is in complete sociopathic denial?
Uh..ok.
Oh, and Kath? If the whole of fuckin’ Wonkette World put their fingers and toes on Dubya’s mistakes, we’d still come up short, see, we’re all women, so we couldn’t count our penisi…
I totes agree with K-Lo - having a president who can actually answer questions and stuff is kind of boring. Look! A Squirrel!
Did Kathy ever apologize about being so completely wrong about that Bush fella? No? Maybe she doesn’t like Barry apologizing because it calls to mind her lack of maturity. You see darling, grown-ups admit it when they fuck up. But I wouldn’t know about that because I’m always right.
Also, I think we all know mistakes only become mistakes when we admit them, therefore: BUSH’S ONLY MISTAKES WERE PUTTING UP THE MISSION ACCOMPLISHED BANNER AND NOT FLYING INTO NEW ORLEANS RIGHT AFTER KATRINA!!1!1
shortsshortsshorts: Truly, truly brilliant. Admit it — Denby was talking specifically about you.
FMA: I don’t think she’s the abuser. I think she gets the shit punched out of her at night and her husband–if she has one–goes for hoors who look like Courtney Love. Maybe her husband is on the Wall St. Madam’s personal speed dial.
OT, but ZOMG EcoDriving is back!!! Wonkette is still No 1!!! But for how long?
she’s back to sucking tiny conservative dick.
Neon Trotsky: Yeah, Michelle beats him with the First Lady’s Rolling Pin. “I bumped my head getting into a helicopter.” Sure, we believe ya, Noobama!
SayItWithWookies: It is hard to imagine that someone who works for the Post was not embarassed to write those two sentences. It is like saying “I find this fact stuff hard, that’s why I stick to US Weekly.” What a twit.
Barry is sorry you’re such an idiot, Kathleen. But he’s not taking any blame for it.
I’m sorry to see her dreams of a macho Daddy-President who sodomizes her at night and then drinks beer all day pretending nothing happened shattered. She deserves abusive incestuous ass-fucking.
So now stopping the buck is the opposite of accepting responsibility. Just checking.
What the fuck is it with people calling the press conference ‘boring’? O’Reilly said the same dumbass thing. It’s a press conference! How much fucking pizzazz is really necessary for you to pay attention to how and why you’re losing your goddamn house!?
Kathleen Parker is one thing but why do we have those vapid rotating governors in the upper right hand corner of the Wonkette? It is part of eco-drive but since we stomped the other eco-drivers shouldn’t we get something a bit more interesting–Grand Theft Eco maybe?
demtard: Now he knows how Hillary and all the PUMAs feel.
qwerty42: I got a 0. Is that good?
It’s sad when someone deserves a damn good rogering, but their shelf life has passed. Now all she’s got left to fill a column is “color me unimpressed.” That ought to simply fascinate her many devotees awaiting each column more breathlessly than the last.
I wonder what she’ll be saying in 8 year’s time? “Rank hack amateur, never even dressed in a flight suit…I’m unimpressed.”
qwerty42: Do you get to aim your car at investment bankers?
Varchar: One word: striptease!
nmmagayar: me too!! I was expecting negative numbers. yea!!
Being a turncoat is skanky.
Mr Blifil: that would be so cool. maybe in the next version.
W’s amateur hour lasted 8 fucking years. Where were you then, twunt?
WTF? Michelle beats Obama?!?!
I think what she’s saying is that Bush’s only mistake was caring too much.
Varchar: It’s not exciting unless you threaten to go to war with somebody or espouse some insane viewpoint (i.e. People who disagree with me want us to surrender to terrorists). Parker’s upset this administration won’t be following the plot to Indiana Jones and the Skullfuckers Who Eat Christians.
SayItWithWookies: “speechwriters.” Dammit.
Kathleen “Valkyrie-Warrior-Princess” Parker speaks the truth. Apologies are for the weak. That’s why whenever somebody questions my authority, I immediately punch them in the face and scream, “DEATH BEFORE DISHONOR!!!!!!!”
If Nobama were a Real Man, he would challenge the next person who criticizes his judgement to a nationally televised duel to the death.
Is everything fixed yet? No, then he’s failed. Parker and her ilk couldn’t bear supporting McCain on the offchance he would win the Apocalypse would begin poste haste. Easier to pretend to support Obama, then bail two weeks later.
This way, she’s not responsible for supporting any shit and as screwed up Bush left the world, it’s all shit.
She’s afraid that Obama may come to understand just how effective campaigning is AFTER you’re president. Especially someone with campaign mojo like Obama. He snatched his message back from the Republicans. They are still wondering what happened. Indiana and Florida were Obama’s threats, too. Crist saw that and got on the bandwagon. I can’t wait! More campaigning! Let women mouth “I love you,” while you’re yet kissing other women and bringing the female house down.
qwerty42: Think of the benefits to the environment.
I’m enjoying listening and watching conservative pundits twist themselves into knots criticizing Obama for things they gave Bush a free pass on while also letting everybody know that they thought Bush was a lame President. Like how it was kind of wrong Bush wasn’t smart enough to apologize for screwing up on big huge things, but at least he wasn’t a pussy and apologize for minor things. Then there’s the complaint that Obama didn’t take full responsibility for being one of many President’s to have problems with their nominees yet never said bupkus about a President who didn’t take responsibility for one, damn thing other than maybe not getting off a plane after three days of diddling around while New Orleans drowned.
Is that a mullet?
You’d think Barry had never been president before.
Yet another perfect example of why neocons are completely out-of-touch. Their inability and outright refusal to grasp human behavior, particularly the abstract associated with art and science, resonates in the public’s current dissent. However, rather than face their fallibility, they childishly redirect the anger and obvious jealousy towards someone else.
I think she’s just trying to get Barry’s attention with this ploy- she’s been watching that sad J.Aniston “He Just Hates You” or whatever film and thinks that playing hard to get at this point in their relationship will win him over.
That or she’s threatening to beat him, I’m not sure which.
Servo: Which is why I guess 76% of America is amateur, since we approve of Obama. There is a tiny group of mature people who approve of the Republicans.
She looks constipated to me.
“…Bush, who could never quite put a finger on his mistakes”
Bush never admitted to mistakes and was most concerned about his baseball pitch on opening day. And Barry has never claimed that God told him to run for President.
It’s got to be hard for this crowd to try comparing Barry to Bush in any way. That’s why they swoon over the memory of St. Reagan. No one can ever been that great again.
Suproops the Troops! These colors doan’t run! Grow a brian Moran!
Honestly, what is it with the state of female commentary?
Kath can go sit in a box with Maureen Dowdy and they can have a sad together, and then St. Peggington can come and spray them both with rainbow silly string.
snideinplainsight: And then Camille Paglia will remind you that you should totally buy Sexual Personae in paperback, but only after suffering through 32900 words strewn about in a haphazard fashion.
I’ve read more penetrating commentary in “Parade.”
This is the goddam trouble with battered women: They just don’t understand!
The bottom line truth in everything all the Repugs are saying is this: They’re praying the Stimulus (shit name, btw) passes and then the country is plunged into an immediate depression that has nothing to do with the Stimulus (as shit name as it was the first time I used it) but is caused by 8 years of the policies they’re pushing again. Then they can say, told ya’ so and win the election unless Acorn can manage to register enough people living in hobo tent cities.
Kathleen Parker may talk smart, but the conservative Messiah is Rush Limbaugh. If Parker weren’t a turncoat bitch, she’d admit it.
That is the laziest piece of column I’ve read since I could no longer stomach George Will (sometime in the 1970’s); it is totally without substance and written with no style. Beano might have prevented it.
My pussy apologizes to no one.
Rolenthegreat: I find it rude for you to refer to your wife in that manner, even if she never apologizes.
What do you tell Obama with two black eyes? Nothing you haven’t told him twice before! Ba da boom.
StrangelyBrown: I was really hoping Jennifer Aniston and Bruce Willis were going to hook up. They were kinda hot together.
AfghanVet: Next up, tentacle rape!
Does she feel outrage that Barry and his staff do not wear suits at all hours of the day, including 3am?
Well let’s see — admitting a mistake is “weak”,
from which one must conclude that “staying
the (disastrous) course” is then strength?
Yes, Obama should have just plowed ahead, never
admitted any mistakes, and stuck to his guns like
George W. (Iraq, Afghanistan, financial market
deregulation) or Nixon (four wasted years, 40,000
wasted lives in Vietnam and still the commies
won)?
Perchance Obama should have assumed the passive
voice, and like the Republican Nobleman Ronald of Reagan
did in his 1987 State of the Union address, admit
that “mistakes were made” (re: Iran Contra)?
These damn people don’t see that the world is
SNICKERING at all the Wall Street financial
wizards who cooked up bullshit instruments
like credit default swaps, and then idiotically
bought them for their OWN portfolios (”competence”?);
Americans in general, who think they can produce
NOTHING that the world is willing to buy,
consume all that the world can make, and pay
for it with fiat currency not worth the paper
on which it’s printed (”competence”?);
who in the hell EXPECTS competence from us
Any more?
She kinda likes her Presidents saying “I screwed you,” instead of “I screwed up.”