Wonkette
Here’s former eBay CEO (and make-believe founder) Meg Whitman, the less terrible of John McCain’s two campaign CEO Henchwomen, announcing her run for California governor in 2010, on the YouTube! Ha she is so rich — she BOUGHT PRINCETON or something recently — so maybe she will win. But the choice of what appears to be a tank top — probably made of something expensive, of course… enriched uranium? — just reeks of New Money. Hey Meg, if you love the Internet so much, why don’t you go buy some sleeves. From a retail website. Yeah. (VOTE 4 GARY ‘N’ NORM “COLEMAN/COLEMAN” TICKET 2010$$) [YouTube]
Too bad Meg actually has to run for Gubbinator instead just using the BUY IT NOW button.
She couldn’t afford some decent lighting and makeup with her eBay munnie$?
Anyone who can turn an obsession with PEZ dispensers into a billion dollar company has my vote. Of course, if thee story is completely fabricated bullshit then she can kiss my hairy ass.
By the way: to anyone who hates Joe Scarborough as much as I do: Merry Christmas.
Why the fuck would anyone want to be governor of California right now?
I dunno about voting for her. What’s her feedback rating?
Arnold could still take her in a pose down.
It rubs the lotion on it’s skin, or else it gets the hose again?
Best Song about Lotion Ever:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ToNZHG5KHw
Dear Ms. Whitman:
Thank you for asking for our comments. I believe a broad criminal amnesty for crimes over 35 years old would reduce prison expenses, put new skills into the economy, while selectively stimulating California’s journalism, music and mortuary science sectors. I appreciate your consideration.
Charles Manson
P.S. I have some great stuff for eBay.
I think she might want to “Buy it now”:
http://cgi.ebay.com/DR-DENESE-Triple-Strength-NECK-WRINKLE-SMOOTHER-4-oz_W0QQitemZ380096814482QQihZ025QQcategoryZ33164QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem
WagTehGod:
Walnuts5planeAce sez:
F- Won’t pay on time. No feedback. Poor Q. Never again.
I really really want to see a catfight between Meg & Arnie.
regarding the sleeveless shirt: She’s just having a Chico’s kind of day…
collins and snowe just both voted aye - it’s gonna pass
she has a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp
She’ll never win. After Paypal tabulates all the votes, those rip offs keep thousands for themselves.
4tehlulz: Good question — California’s the prime example of why the people shouldn’t be allowed to vote on absolutely everything. Who would’ve thought that millions of barely-informed voters would hamstring the legislative process to the point where they might wreck their own economy? Maybe she wants to be the next in an endless succession of Herbert Hoovers.
spector aye
specter, that is
I always wondered what Marianne Faithfull looked like after just tumbling out of bed.
You’re an insult to Marianne Faithfull impersonators everywhere, Meg! (Every single two of them.)
61-37 - Waiver passed
Who better to put in charge of California’s economy than a figurehead from the .com bubble? eBay’s fees (not to mention PayPal’s*) have consistently gone up while the user experience has been nothing but a downward spiral, and I say what she did for the site she can do for the state!
*Remember kids: You don’t have to adhere to state and federal banking laws if you just shove your fingers in your ears and loudly shout “I’m not really a bank!” This is the kind of law-and-order, fiscally conservative Republican California really needs in this new depression!
Buzz! Your Girlfriend.. WOOFFF!
Dr Tobias Funke: http://img73.imageshack.us/img73/8692/woof9bq.th.jpg
Why the picture of John Cleese as Nearly Headless Nick?
I hear she wants to implement an eBay style model to California government– she’ll just put a proposed plan out there and whomever has the highest bid wins.
Oh wait….
SayItWithWookies: California is a total and complete ungovernable mess and it’s mainly because of ballot initiatives. So much so, I want to start a ballot initiative to ban ballot initiatives.
Except for the one’s that allow us to smoke dope for “medical reasons.” I like that one.
She may save CAlifornia, but who will save the American people from having to look at her puss?
A+++++++++++++++++ Great eBAYer ..·::*::·.•Thank•*¨¨*•You•.·::*::·..
She’s gonna have to have that cyst lasered off her lower lip if she even thinks she has a chance of getting the Hollywood vote. Actually, maybe an acid peel of her whole face would be the best place to start.
Her ears are really long - I mean abnormally creepy long.
I couldn’t stay focused on what she was saying because I was so distracted by her longass ears - which she only makes worse by adding another inch to them with those ultra snazzy clip-on ear baubles.
This factor alone prevents me from even considering her for governor of CA. I have no idea what she stands for but it doesn’t matter. She needs to get an ear job before I can even begin to entertain the possibility of listening to, let along voting for her.
I’m sure I’m not the only one who finds those dangly, sag-ass deflated boob ears objectionable.
Stimulus passed 61-37 - Truck-Nutz for all Americans!!!!!!!11!!!1!1! Also, more buttsecks, also
Are we absolutely sure this isn’t John McCain in one of Cindy’s wigs?
“Ms. Whitman, what’s your position on unfunded federal mandates?”
“Gobble, gobble, gobble.”
Serolf Divad: Nice to see that douche put in his place. Nevertheless Brzezenski is even scarier than ever. Sort of a Democratic Kissinger. You have the feeling he’d like to be a war criminal, if only Jill St. John would boink him.
Serolf Divad: Thanks for that. Instead of “stunningly superficial,” I think the proper phrase is “fucking retarded.”
But that’s just me.
nmmagayar: So why are my pitiful mutual funds dropping like falling knives?
i believe she is wearing a kevlar jacket-vest thing. By Armani or Dolce y Gabbana, but still kevlar. I vote for turkey people. Also.
I realize its sexist to ever, ever comment on a female politician’s appearance, but what in the holy hell is going on with those ears? I wonder if she can hear the actual thoughts of we Californian voters?
Is this country read for a wattled governor?
The Lizard peepul are in California?
Meg Whitman, candidate. A woman barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild her. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world’s prettiest governor. Meg Whitman will be that governor. Better than she was before. Firmer, perkier, bustier.
Not_So_Much: No, it’s cool because she isn’t a she. It’s our former dark master D-Chen in a Ben Franklin wig. I guess spending the rest of his unnatural life with Lynne in a bunker somewhere near Minot, ND, didn’t strike his fancy.
Okay, the kid from Mask gets a sex change, builds a company that chokes up my internet search results, and now wants to be Guvner of 80000 sq. miles of pavement? Kill it now!
I just thought of an invention. Neck Spackle.
I hate taxes! I hate politicians! There should be more gold in California!
Looks like her tracheotomy is healing up nicely. Also.
-SP
Look, I know this is terribly sexist and Sara K. Smith will probably ban us all, but can’t older women in our country learn to dress and present themselves as older women, instead of college sophomores? Look at Maggie Thatcher as an example:
http://www.peoplequiz.com/images/bios/margaret-thatcher.-2981.jpg
No one had the balls to make fun of her wrinkles, because she looked so goddamn dignified.
My gawd, get some plastic surgery already! Also!Fuckin PUMAs!
jagorev: Also Ann Richards. She’d had chunks of PUMAs in her shit.
She will lose to Gavin Newsom. She is probably the only Republican in California that could lose to Gavin, but it is written.
And for our favorite eavesdropper, Dave Denby: Go fuck yourself and your Teddy Ruxpin!
jagorev: win. I haz a sad for her.
Pressure to be teh hawtness is extraordinarily high for PUMAdom. It is tragic & pathetic they are caught competing with their daughters for social power. Even Hilbot was/is on the way to figuring this out.
Meg Whitman looks like an old character actor in drag.
Its noon, I have been drinking even though I’m not drunk, I’d hit that.
Maybe she can help me sell my baseball cards.
Deepthroat: OMG Its her! Meg Whitman is Buzz’s GF! Wonder if that picture is on ebay somwhere, id like to buy it / get it signed
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YXHcbX36Ao
I’ll buy
John McCain’s old Hanoi PJs
And a pic of
Sarah Palin’s streched vajayjay
Don’t know why I
Bought Barack’s Black Panther beret
I found ‘em on eBay
Come now, barely cognizant zombies who feel they are entitled to positions of power because they earned a lot of money and because running a state is exactly like running a corporation are always successful. Especially when they’re in the exact same party as the guy bankrupting the state now. Swear her in now, this won’t be a complete waste of her own personal fortune.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
shortsshortsshorts: You’re right. For all his failings, Gavin is hot in a sort of bisexual, SF party boy way. And one thing Californians care about is image.
Can’t you just FEEEEEEL the excitement???
Palin/Sasqwatch 2012! Stupidity First!
Good idea, Meg, that “New California” slogan, cuz it totally does not remind voters that the “old California” was destroyed by your very own party. Good luck with that.
Red Zeppelin: And his wife is kinda hot, played a hooker in “Mad Men” and does soft porn flicks. You could imagine the kind of campaign commercials Gavin could come up with.
I used to work for her. She’s nice in a patrician WASP Republican kinda way. A bit of a throwback to the country club conservative set, that was nice to the help. You know, the Republican part before the wing-nuts took over. So in short, she’ll get crushed in the primary by some right-wing frigtard.
Did she play “Large Marge” in Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure?
randomsausage: In other words, she voted for Prop 8 becuase her neighborhood association covenants required it, but doesn’t actually hate “their kind.” You’re right, she’ll be devoured by frigtards.
Ugh. Just… Ugh. Also.
Ummm…I recommend a turtle neck or a dickie. (Cheaper & less painful than visiting Dr. 90210.) Oh, and an acid or chemical peel on any exposed flesh. Also.
http://shop.ebay.com/items/_W0QQ_nkwZhomeQ20permQQ_armrsZ1QQ_fromZR40QQ_mdoZ
It is eminently unfair that we require of our female candidates for public office that they have a modicum of do-able-ness, when no such standard applies to male candidates for public office.
But there ya have it. Meg will not win in Cal without first having considerable work done.
jagorev: You’re forgetting Bill Richardson.
I’m not biting.
That’s obviously John Elway in drag.
edgydrifter: Ahhh yes - it’s time to re-register to vote… Frigtard 2010!!
In a state full of film professionals, she manages to put together something that looks like it was lit by a midget with a hand-held search light, and did her own makeup.
FAIL
Scarab: WIN!
Red Zeppelin: Well, not quite, but after 10+ years of Governors who actually gave a crap about how good they looked (especially Ahhhhnold), Meg is gonna look like a pile of moldy pink shit next to our buffed and botoxed Beauty-queen/wannabe-models tv-news personalities…
Either this is Anne Coulter’s “before” pic on the female impersonator plastic surgery website or it’s true what they say about Silicon Valley execs aging fast. But overall, I’m very confident about her proven solution for the budget problem. Raise taxes as fast as ebay raises fees and we’ll get a budget surplus in nine minutes. Not to mention that “handling charge” of $29.95 each and every time you pay sales tax on something.
She’s got a forehead like the Tefal dude
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsNwtBv3PI0
Why is proto-commie Bush whacker Sen. Patrick Leahy wearing that godawful blond wig?