Wonkette
Well, America, this is what you get when you elect a COLLEGE PROFESSOR for president: a person who actually responds to questions, in occasionally exhaustive detail, with topic sentences and conclusions. Kinda weird, huh? But just wait till he finishes up and tries to leave the room through a locked door, and pulls a crazy goofy face and trots over to an unlocked door. Then you will remember what it’s like to have the other kind of president.
Well shit, Wordpress is blinking out, so we have lost 15 minutes’ worth of posts. Oh well! Anyway, Afghanistan.
8:43 PM — Man, the stuff we had here, before the Internets vomited all over our Wonkette? Brilliant. Everything that follows is a pretty goddamn pale imitation.
8:43 PM — No timetables, but Al Qaeda and bin Laden are on notice.
8:44 PM — There can only be one Treasury Secretary at a time, etc.
8:45 PM — Major Garrett! Ah, a question about Joe Biden’s whole, “there’s a 30 percent chance we’ll get it wrong” thing. Obama just laughs. He has no idea what Biden was referring to. Bong rips?
8:46 PM — What Biden meant was, there are no total solutions, only partial solutions, and not everything will work out precisely as intended. In other words, Joe Biden has been sent back to his spider hole and will emerge next year for Groundhog Day.
8:47 PM — Here is a 30 percent prediction: there is a 30 percent chance Joe Biden will not survive until Easter.
8:47 PM — Some Washington post guy asking a retarded question about steroids. The only possible answer to this question is, “Who the fuck cares?” Obama offers some head-shaking pablum about our troubled Major League Baseball industry. Message sent to kids, blah blah blah. He is not attacking this question with enough detail and ferocity! He should tell us about the history of performance-enhancing drugs, argue for and against, and then conclude.
8:49 PM — Helen Thomas refuses to be buttered up by Barack Obama.
8:50 PM — Pahkistahn, etc. Re nukes: a nuclear arms race in the Middle East would be very scary, given what those people can accomplish with frigging rocks.
8:52 PM — Thomas ventures some rejoinder, and is ignored.
8:52 PM — HuffPo’s tremulous Sam Stein, their single actual reporter/journalist besides Jason Linkins! So will Obama prosecute all the war criminals in the Bush Administration?
8:53 PM — Look forward not backwards. Can he not appease the poor earnest libtard by saying, “yes, we will prosecute the shit out of Dick Cheney”?
8:54 PM — Mara Liasson wants to know, if he’s having such a hard time with a slam dunk like a trillion-dollar stimulus bill, how the hell will he fix healthcare?
8:55 PM — Mara Liasson has crazy eyes. Eyes for radio, as they say.
8:55 PM — The people of Elkhart are the new Joe the Plumber.
8:56 PM — A ring of ferns surround his feet. That is kind of weird stagecraft. Barack Obama is not a forest sprite.
8:57 PM — He again reminds us that Republicans are a bunch of miserable hypocrites for presiding over a doubling of the national debt and then suddenly remembering fiscal responsibility once there’s a Democrat in office. He loves hammering this one home.
8:58 PM — We will not blow up the public school system, with science labs.
8:59 PM — Evidence, facts, proof … You know, they used to have a word for people like Barack Obama. They were called “voodoo economists.”
9:00 PM — Ugh, “ideological blockage.” He believes people respond to civility and rational argument, which is why he will fail.
9:00 PM — And Stevie Wonder plays, “Signed, Sealed, Delivered” as he exits. Thank you President Obama for acting like a grownup!
9:16 PM — Oh so you want some postprandial analysis now, some sober discussion about Keith Olbermann’s alarmingly orange skin? Mosey on over to Ken’s post.
And we have to reign in taxes and spending… lol
David Shuster’s wife/reporter lady is kinda hot in a an Upper West Sidey way.
We won’t know anything in til we know something. I like that theory.
Jake Tapper is a fucking tool. FUCK YOU JAKE.
It’s Jake Tapper! Jake wants a solid prediction right here and now.
People can’t get loans to buy RVs? Can’t they sleep in abandoned Pintos like the rest of us?
if we don’t normalize the credit markets YOU WON’T EVEN BE ABLE TO BUY AN RV so you can GO LIVE IN THE TRAILER PARK!!! THIS IS SERIOUS SHIT PEOPLE!!
Barry is back to being eco prof. He’s so sincere.
There are women all over South Carolina who would love to attend that vibrating school by the train tracks.
True fact - that fresh-faced young Bloomberg gal is married to David Shuster, who once had an affair with our own Jessica Cutler/Washingtonienne.
Jake Tapper: How will we know when the economies get better
Um . . . check any number of the various economic indicators? We’re no longer in a horrible death spiral of poverty?
CNN asking a question from the future! when will you begin withdrawing troops from Afghanistan, who aren’t there yet but will be soon i think…
“What’s your timetable to return troops from Afghanistan?”
Uh, Ed — that one’s one of those “It’s done when it’s done” kinda wars. It’s the pointless, baseless ones that you want to end now, and the other kind that you want to win.
omg barry is a REAL PERSON i think i am crying hearing him talking about signing letters of fallen soldiers
how are we supposed to snark at him with salty liquid falling from our eyes?
Geeeeez, I hate when Wonkette goes down while Barry is UP.
I think the Internets are broken.
uh uh uh… driving me crazy.
Oh great, we’re back! But we missed commenting on the important baseball thing.
Now that Barry really won the election, he can say Tah-lee-bah and Pah-keee-stan with impunity. Allah be praised!
Heads on pikes, Barry — I want some of these assholes’ heads on pikes. Gonzales, Bush, Cheney, Libby, Rice, Zelikow — oh, and Yoo too.
HuffPo scores a question.
If he only was smoking a cigarette, that’d be really cool.
Mara Liasson: “Please explain, Mr. President: How did I get so stupid?”
Mara gets schooled. Old habits are hard to break. Gimme a cigarette, willya?
Did he just say Cheney’s going to Gitmo. Also, Mara is scary. Also.
Helen Thomas wanted Barry to admit that Israel has nuclear bombs stashed and will nuke Mecca one of these days.
Maura, Chip Reid already asked this dumb question.
Next?
bookish_lesbian: With time, you will learn to multitask and be able to snark and BAW like the rest of us.
why is Chucky T wearing clothes?
Next election>??? Cmon, let us enjoy the honeymoon.
Helen Thomas is three shades of crazy
Wait for the Michael Phelps question.
I don’t know if that answers your question…MASSIVE CHEESY GRIN…but I used it as a launching point for what I said. Hahahaha, that was a riot!
stutter stutter this is hard….
President Obama on partisanship: “We need to put that behavior aside.”
Ha — they’ll make everything fail just to blame it on the Democrats. They’d drive a busload of children off a cliff just to spite their driving instructor. Who molested them. And lied to their parents, who beat them and told them they weren’t good enough for the name of Vitter.
Yes Barry. There is a lot of “jockeying,” “positioning,” and “up-and-down” in Washington. Especially in David Vitter’s office (aka. The Diaperpod.)
Oh and Republicans fuck children. Just sayin’.
Wow. I’m glad that was the interweb tubes being plugged. I feared Sara had arbitrarily banned because, you know, she could.
“It’s a little hard from to take criticism about this recovery package from these folks after they presided over a doubling of the national debt.”
Pwned.
Wake me up when Prof Stutters of the UChicago Law School has capitulated to Ahmadinejad, please.
He is forgetting he WON the election. Quit campainging already!
On a scale of one to ten of not tolerating stupid questions I’d say he’s about a six. He’s kind of telling people to STFU, but in a HOPEY way.
Cookie Guggelman:
She works P/T for FOX news, stupid pills in the green room.
@4tehlulz i will study hard!
All two Bushes.
Did he just suggest blowing up all the public schools?
Relax — it was just the Smartech Corporation servers melting down under the load to tracking all of the Wonkette traffic so that the right people will get their genitals scalpel-ized.
Ideological blockage?
I think someone needs a cleanse.
Bring in the exlax for that ideological blockage!!!
I hate to say this, but in listening to the past fifteen minutes or so, Barry Obama sometimes sounds like a peppier John Kerry. I just want him to tell me he’s fired up and that yes, we can.
I love you Barry, but enough with Elckhart.
SHIT, it’s over!! Time for the blowhards. TV OFF.
Holy criminey. Cheney and Bush are going to be working on a chain-gang in France by this summer.
The Prez has left the building!
Thank you GUYS? That was abrupt. How about a “been nice spendin’ time with ya’all”
Ha. Now I notice that the Hulu stream is FOX news. Oh, why not — I’ll see what they have to say.
“oy, twunt - stimulus = spending - now STFU, I need a smoke” Also
“People will respond to rational argument. Now watch me get the fuck out of here,”
I liked it, especially the part when he talked about someone buying their own damn fries.
Thank you President Obama for acting like a grownup!
It won’t last.
Rachel Maddow says he was calm, cool, and collected. More like calm, cool, and collecting.
ARGGHHH!! Chris Matthews just said he was proud of his tribe and the reporters asked really good questions! WTF was he hearing?
wheelie: Papa needs a ciggie. And I don’t blame him. (I don’t know why I wrote Papa, but now I like it. “Papa Obama.”)
“He believes people respond to civility and rational argument, which is why he will fail.”
Seriously. He needs to talk to a social psychologist.
Ouch. I couldn’t get to the teevee to turn it off before the intro to the bachelor and now I lost 25 I.Q. points.I thought the teevee people are supposed to be pretty. Those girls are trolls in clown makeup. And why are they allowed to talk?
Ideological blockage! Did Barry just say that Repug brains don’t get enough blood to understand basic reality? I would say that it’s more of a chicken and egg question. Does blockage cause conservatism or years of conservatism cause blockage?
I think Chris Matthews is drunker than normal
Keith Olbermann: Anybody who grew up on Bush is seeing a brand new thing. Seven minute answers, etc.
How many Presidential conferences has Helen Thomas done?
All of them.
Yes, Keith, people CAN hear multipart answers. But Barry needs to trim the fat a little. Rachel just hit that point home.
NO UPDATE ON WHITEHOUSE DOG. MOOSLIN PRESIDENT: YOU ARE BREAKING THE HEARTS OF YOUR DAUGHTERS AND MILLIONS OF AMERICAN DOG-LOVERS. PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU EAT DOGS, LIKE THEY DO IN MUSLIN KOREA!
nmmagayar: Yeah, he does have that “man am I shitfaced and trying to hide it” look.
Well that was interesting. He was a *tad* testy at times. Oh ok, he was really pissy towards the cranks. But the media pool - Chuck and Chip and Tap and Quip etc - they were pretty terrible.
You know he was really thinking, “What a bunch of f*cking idiots, really, this is what I have to deal with.”
simetrias: grammer?
Anyone else notice that CNN has their studio set up in such a way to hide Campbell Brown’s baby belly? And should any pundit get cattle prodded whenever they do any sort of tut-tutting over whether or not everything is done in bipartisan fashion? Or discussing whether or not he should have given shorter answers? Because, you know, whether or not his answers are 3 or 7 minutes sure has a major impact on whether or not I can afford dope over the next few months
Pop Socket: How many presidents has Andrea Mitchell done? All of ‘em…
Internally valid:
—- Jake Tapper: How will we know when the economies get better? —
A: According to these econometric indicators. When:
Rush can stop ordering pain killers on credit.
Cheap strippers once appear on investment banker expense accounts
Repugs’ prostitutes begin to refuse 2-for-1 coupons.
Who was the black chick who asked the same question as the dude before her? She should have fessed up and said, “sorry my question’s been asked”….or thought of a new one. I mean it’s your chance with the Pres, she should have prepared more than one. What a frigtard.
nmmagayar: grammer/grammar… Huh? Don’t know what you mean.
Gawd it was so refreshing to not listen to Commander Dingbat call everyone “evil” or “out to get us” or make whatever other bellicose threats Lord Cheney had slipped in his pocket. Thoughtful thorough answers. He took 12 questions in 45 minutes (I thought the AP question would take the whole hour). The questioners have indeed gotten worse. Shove a Scholastic Kid Reporter in there and let them ask about why their daddy got laid off or the high price of candy. Couldn’t be any worse.
That said, the opening statement (swiveling head side-to-side to read the prompter) seemed a little off for our boy. He’ll get it down soon enough though. Whether this “stimulus” package gets out or not, I’m just so happy this guy is in charge. In two weeks he’s undone nearly the first four years of Bush’s reign (that whole bs about wearing a jacket in the Oval…srsly, did Bush not have anything else to think about?). All hail the American voter.
Now Axelod looks drunk, too.
Rachel says “less stimulative.” Does that mean the ExLax isn’t working?
simetrias: lol, I’ve been drinking like Chris Matthews all night
Ken has a new liveblog on teh cables news.
nmmagayar: Yeah, and we didn’t even have a DRINK word! Guess it should have been Republican.
Aw, Rachel says, you all are making me feel da change.
Barbara Boxer looks drunk, too.
randomsausage: I read an article on the Backstory feature in the Monitor about all the dogs various shelters are offering–one even has a couple of those iberian hairless dogs, or whatever that one is. There was a picture of a Labradoodle from a LA shelter that was so cu-u-u-u-te. It will be so easy to get a shelter dog, they have no excuse to pull a Biden or a Bush and buy one.
I love animals–way more than I do people.
DustBowlBlues: We have a Goldendoodle. I hate dogs and would give her to the first daughters in a heart-beat….but Mrs Randomsausage would divorce me. The doodles are cute to be sure…but in the end they are still dogs and lick their privates in front of me.
randomsausage:
Good point. Why no question like:
“You’ve refused to get your heart-broken, negress daughters Malia and Condoleezza a liitle goddam puppy. Why are they instead being forced to play with ju-ju dolls, President Hussein? Are you trying to find a terrorist Palestinian ‘mutt’ (your words) in Gaza? America has a right to know.” (John Boenher)
The White House press corps has gone all to hell. Gawd, I miss the rough-and-tumble Q&A of the Bush days. (E.g., “Mister President, please describe Jenna’s wedding bouquet.”) But I kid.
Wat? No questions about dogs, as I am extremely interested in the inner workings of Lindsey Grahams dog brain. I think Prez answered that one. You all screwed it up for 8 years, so you have no credibility. The American People want Cha Cha Cha Change. So STFU!
Uh Oh. This Biden thingy is getting really interesting. The 30% solution. MMM K?
The Gray Panthers can’t even get RV Loans. That’s it pass the damn bill. The forecast is cloudy with a dash of Springsteen & Steinbeck. Haunting Harmonica off the next exit. Thanks eternal optimist! Shrubry & Co. are the architects of this disaster. Prez is up to the challenge. We are with you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DEtA5fhk4k&feature=related
SayItWithWookies:
I notice that most of the Yahoo video newsy clips (generally) are from FOX or sometimes the also-suspect AP.
when that reporter asked about steroids and baseball, i was so hoping obama would have shut him up with a “what ‘r you talking about Willis” look? makes me mad that he indulged the reporter and responded.
randomsausage: Win. For some goddamn reason. Win.
DustBowlBlues: randomsausage: Amen on the loving animals way more than people. Being a cat man there’s nothing better than waking up unable to move due to cats on all sides. I have nothing against dogs but they require way too much attention and personal care. Cats come to you when they want that stuff, and they don’t need to be let out on your lunch break.
This is in response to one of the questions to Obama, I’m just not sure which one. Probably from that idiot Mara L., or the egomaniac Tapper or maybe ol’ Prison Pussy Chuck Todd. Bring Barry into a room full of WH press hacks and the average IQ shoots up 100 points.
Not even idiot reporters asking asinine questions can rattle badass Barry.
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/
so he’s a VOODOO economist, is he??? Will we ever reach racial transcendence?????
The look on Woodchuck Todd’s face when the Wapo (huffpo, or one of the *po’s) reporter asked the baseball question was priceless!