Wonkette
We have received another sexy stimulus party report, this time from elitist operative “Eric.” He tells us that he drank imported beer, because he doesn’t like Bud Light (take that, Cindy McCain), that his girlfriend is kind of a pain in the ass, and that he has a job for now. In other words, we have no idea whether he went to a stimulus party or not; we get a lot of e-mails from drunk lunatics for no reason after all.
Yes, I went to an awesome stimulus party this weekend! In fact I go to one every single day. Each day after I hear the daily dose of how the USA is going into the tank I drink a 12 pack of some imported beer (America may kick ass, but not in the beer making biz no matter how much “flavor” they try to put in the beer, see Bud Light Lime). The party attendees is usually just my anti-stimulus girlfriend (the governments stimulus, she stimulates just…never mind) and depending on what number beer I am on when she arrives home gets either a thoughtful and well worded argument in favor of it or a slurred version of Ted Kennedy explaining how the car got into the lake and how much Republicans suck…either way she never listens. Good thing is I still have a job! But when I do get fired and become an unemployment statistic I will not have to use a hangover as an excuse not to do anything productive! GO USA!!!
The new version of the stimulus’ “centrist compromise” will be to give this guy a full 100% of the Obama Money.
This guy could write for Wonkette!
People who diss American beer are the saddest people of all.
We make EXCELLENT microbrews in this country, you stupid know-nothing idiots.
I see the beginnings of a lost Tennessee Williams play in this. All that’s missing is a little more despair, a handsome stranger, a domineering mother, a brutal act of revenge and an ending that leaves the audience both saddened and wondering about several un-tied-up loose ends. Another round of tax cuts for the rich and it’ll happen.
I would qualify that: parts of this country make excellent microbrews. Other parts make beer that tastes like goblin piss. Sorry, what were we supposed to be talking about?
I nominate the hotties in the picture to be the next Wonkette interns.
WagTehGod:
Grandma?
Hey, this country is now the center of the universe when it comes to artisan, well-crafted beers. This fellow needs to stimulate our economy by purchasing some Red Hook, Dogfish, Pliny the Elder or even some Fat Tire.
Young man, those of us who are unemployed are counting on you. So drink up!
The single most politically relevant thing in 2009: Ted Kennedy’s 1969 car crash.
jagorev: This is true. He probably meant the Millers and Budweisers and so forth, which are ‘love-in-a-canoe’ beers since they’re fucking close to water.
Nice video of Intern Juli in a bikini, as usual.
chascates: jagorev: Agreed, my earlier old joke notwithstanding! But why do so many people buy
BudInBev Light?I see him losing the girlfriend long before he loses the job.
Gallowglass: Actually, since we have more breweries than any other country on earth, even Germany, I’d guarantee that no matter what part of the country you’re in, you’re bound to find at least one or two decent local beers. Even Philadelphia has Yuengling, and this is pretty surprising, because almost everything else in Philadelphia sucks.
I guess what I’m saying is, fuck Philadelphia.
V572625694: I can never understand that. They might be saving $1 or so on a six-pack but it’s more likely they don’t realize that beer can actually taste different (meaning better) than what they’re used to.
jagorev: Technically, wouldn’t a Know-Nothing be vehemantly in favor of American beer?
Josh Fruhlinger:
The platform of the American Party called for, among other things:
Severe limits on immigration, especially from Catholic countries
Restricting political office to native-born Americans
Mandating a wait of 21 years before an immigrant could gain citizenship
Restricting public school teachers to Protestants
Mandating daily Bible readings in public schools
Restricting the sale of liquor
So the origins of the Republican Party lay in anti-Papism, which would have excluded Peggington Noonington and William F. Buckley, Esq.? Is this Irony?
If economic waste was a crime, buying foreign beers should get you the chair, surpassed only by buying foreign bottled water. Think globally, drink locally.
jagorev: If you have to drink Yuengling, spend the money to have something shipped in from Mars.
jagorev: WadISay: List of breweries & brewpubs in Pennslyvania:
http://www.beertown.org/apps/craftbrewing/locator/breweries.html (select state)
And the magazines Draught, All About Beer, and Beer Magazine also post articles concerning regional breweries and notable pubs
Drink up, Shriners!
(Alough I’m currently sipping a Elijah Craig’s 18-year-old!)
DON’T SHIT ON BUD LIGHT LIME YOU TERRORIST!!!1
JeffGoldblum: Trade ya for a six-pack of Zima.
So that animation is Juli and Sara at a Wonkette editorial meeting?
chascates: Oh yeah. I live in Chico, the home town of The Sierra Nevada Brewery. It’s soooooo good locally (and we get a lot of beers that they don’t export to other towns), but whenever I order is elsewhere, it’s just not the same.
The same thing applies to foreign beers. Anyone who has ever been to Europe know that the crap we get here tastes stale compared to what they’re supposed to be.
Can we get 2 guys dancing next time? There’s something missing from those girlz…not sure what
chascates: Pliny the Elder? You name a beer after a bloke that got done in by Vesuvius?
There are more old drunkards than old physicians.
Numbat Dundee: Sure! It’ll make you blow your top.
I had a party on Saturday officially it was a Chinese New Year party but since we ate pork, drank a lot of fancy imported beer and watched 2 kung fu movies I think it’s a good analogy for the current legislative debate. Somehow. The pork [purchased from my favortie butcher on Stockton Street in Chinatown] represents earmarks, the movies represented the conflict of the process and the beer represented not only the diversity of our cultural heritage [but only from respectable European countries] but also the fact that you need to be a drunk to not want to burn these fuckers down. There was also hard liquor and some potato chips but I’m realizing now that I’m way past this analogy working at all.
What I do I know is that the 20 leftover beers in my fridge represent my own personal “Bridge to Nowhere”.
I don’t care what you drink on Sundays, but a bottle of Clydesdale piss on a hot summer’s day is better than ice tea any time.
SayItWithWookies: Brilliant!
V572625694: jeffGoldblum; now that is a stimulus package I can’t believe in.
They really do get a lot of emails from drunk lunatics for no reason. I can attest. I am embarrassed / not embarrassed to admit that whenever I read a post I disagree with while drunk, I revert to idiotic internet man and send them a wingnutty complaining email. But from the dilligence and sensitivity they are always answered with by Newell, I think drunk wingnuts make up 95% of the audience and ken will do anything to keep his audience planacated. Or that Jim doesn’t have anything to do but answer wingnutty emails.
“Eric”? What kind of name is that for a clown?
In defense of Philly, leave Yeungling (Pottstown, PA) alone and drink Yards, Victory, Sly Fox or Dogfish Head. Philly DO NOT SUCK.
I’d pay to hear a non-slurred version of Ted Kennedy
chascates: Out near Harrisburg there is a lovely brewery (well, hopefully it’s lovely, I’ve never been to it) that makes a beer called Mad Elf. It is my holiday beer of choice, because it is 11% alcohol by volume. Thank you, Pennsylvania!
Drunk lunatic — yes and yes.
Loveee: jagorev: Jesus Christ. Yuengling is brewed in Pottsville, Pa. Not Philadelphia, not Pottstown, not Elkhart, Indiana.
jagorev: Yeungling is not from Philly, but regardless, it does suck. There is great beer from PA (e.g. Victory) but Yeungling is not it.
lenorecutie: I can’t believe that anyone who lives in Chico would read this blog. Color me shocked. Isn’t there a local ordinance requiring you to be stoned all the time?
beer yes
http://www.beerlion.com