Michelle Obama Just Hillary Clinton Minus Pantsuit

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Look away she is controlling you with her MIND RAYSOhhhh the nerve. The new First Lady, having spent two years giving lengthy policy speeches on the campaign trail in support of her husband, is apparently now giving lengthy policy speeches again. This is highly inappropriate behavior for a lawyer and former executive who now finds herself jobless due to her husband running America.

You will recall that Laura Bush never gave a political speech except to unveil a new educational funding package for Afghanistan and to promote anti-malaria and anti-AIDS drugs in Africa, repeatedly. Why can’t Michelle Obama be more like Laura Bush, and do perform her husband-boosting efforts overseas? It is distinctly unladylike and unbecoming of the “Mom in Chief” to be visiting actual government agencies in Washington. You know who got all interested in domestic policy once? Hillary Clinton, that’s who! And now she is Secretary of State, as punishment.

‘Mom in Chief’ Touches on Policy; Tongues Wag [New York Times]

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Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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  • actor212

    Michelle ought to go back to baking chocolate chip cookies and servicing her husband’s intimate needs and not in any way shape or form hold or share her opinion, like any other good American wife!

    In fact, as a Negress and a woman, we should take away her vote on two counts!

  • Bronkers

    Our Lady of the White House, Michelle, has far, FAR better stems than Hillary, the unfortunate possessor of severe piano legs. Ergo, Mme. Obama can wear dresses and skirts with style.

  • BruceLee5000

    [re=238895]actor212[/re]: Go back to baking CHOCOLATE chip cookies. …figures…

  • ManchuCandidate

    The NYT is also offended that she’s not hopped up on Goofballs and doesn’t dance like an out of control robot. At this point, M.O. is probably the most effective (assuming her taxes are correctly paid) member of Barry’s administration.

  • magic titty

    Obama ’24!!

  • Internally valid

    Oh noes! The (real) American public clearly gave a mandate to male presidents which means the women-folk don’t get to have opinions and what-not. How can Obama abandon his sexist/muslin supporters and let his wife talk in public like this?!

  • actor212

    [re=238899]BruceLee5000[/re]: OK, since he’s from Hawaii, white chocolate chip macadamia nut…Satisfied?

  • shanemacgowan

    I’ll bet she didn’t wear a jacket in the oval office.

  • actor212

    [re=238901]magic titty[/re]: Just what we need, another Bush/Clinton/Bush/Obama/Clinton/Obama dynasty!

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    Laura Bush also isn’t human. Like, at all. I’d call her a Cylon, but (1) you would know that I’m a total dork and (2) Cylons know how to mimic human facial expressions. Laura just has that one maniacal smile plastered on her mug for all eternity. If she never gave a policy speech, it was because no one knew how to program her to do so.

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    Why isn’t she pregnant and who gave her shoes?

  • Origami

    I think the NYT is mostly shocked by the fact that there is a black woman addressing a group of non-blacks without using a “sassy black lady” voice.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    “She went to some lengths to say she was going to be first mom in chief. I don’t think we ever really imagined her edging toward public policy like this.”

    Oh, heavens! We never imagined! Womenfolk… using their brains to speak words out of their mouths? Someone… fetch… my smelling salts….

  • Colander


  • donner_froh

    Hillary Clinton without her pantsuit is a nightmare image that will haunt me.

  • sarcasticusername

    apparently michelle’s biggest faux pas so far has been referring to herself and her husband as a “we.” shock horror! how dare she?!? there she goes again being such an uppity negro.

  • Miller

    Soooooooo……..Michelle Obama killed Vince Foster? I never would have suspected her. I guess that’s why she got off scot free.


  • Colander

    [re=238914]Origami[/re]: They thought it was Frangella and were wondering where the “stout” one was.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Wait, our first lady isn’t supposed to be an issue-free vapid figurehead for four years? Geeze, next these people’ll be saying the president shouldn’t be one, either.

  • Vulpes82


  • Min

    Oh, great. She’s one of those uppity smart women. There goes health care.

  • President Beeblebrox

    [re=238896]Bronkers[/re]: Plus, Michelle has a phat boo-tay, something which Hillary could never claim title to. Oh yeah, and no one ever claimed Hillary was pregnant.

  • jagorev


  • jagorev

    Last week, she took her staff to lunch at Five Guys Burgers and Fries, where she had a cheeseburger, French fries and a Coke.

    OMG that’s totally my second favorite burger place (after Shake Shack)! All is forgiven.

  • Cape Clod

    “Why can’t Michelle Obama be more like Laura Bush…?”

    You’re right. The first thing she needs to do is go out a kill someone with a car.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    Eee gad. At this rate she’ll have the right to vote, soon.

  • WadISay

    To be fair, Laura Bush wrote op eds for the WSJ, thereby avoiding the need for any–you know–actual diplomacy.

  • gurukalehuru

    [re=238916]Colander[/re]: channeling shorts?

  • sezme

    This can only lead to BJs in the oval office. Monica, come to Washington; your country needs you!

  • gurukalehuru

    I’m waiting to hear what Marian (Big Mama)Robinson has to say.

  • El Pinche

    [re=238916]Colander[/re]: That’s so AOL Political Machiney!

  • Colander

    [re=238935]gurukalehuru[/re]: That or Goldblum or somebody. All I know is it was somebody.

  • Madeline

    [re=238901]magic titty[/re]: Michelle Obama 2016 = MOBAMA

  • Internally valid

    [re=238916]Colander[/re]: I actually went through the comments on the NYT piece hoping to find this sort of thing, because I’m cool. Really tame, unfortunately. The worst they got was people saying that she wasn’t elected, which is nonsensical but unfunny. Meh.

  • magic titty

    [re=238932]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: She is very uppity.

  • emmasue

    what’s her favorite cookie recipe? I gotta know godamnit.

  • space stout

    get her bitch ass in the kitchen and make me some pie. also.

  • Crazybroad

    [re=238942]Madeline[/re]: OMG, that would make me so happy, and Hilary SO stabby. Which would also make me happy.

  • Hooray For Anything

    I think Laura would have been much more willing to give policy speeches if only she wasn’t so whacked out on valium.

  • Mr Blifil

    And after she finished wid dem cookies, I’d like to check out her “cooling rack.” I have an infallible recipe for the perfect glaze.

  • DNotApply

    [re=238901]magic titty[/re]: why ’24? Does this presume that BHO follows in FDR’s footsteps and gets elected 3.5 times and then dies due to polio/wheelchair/cigar filterism?


    And when a little girl at the charter school visited by the Obamas announced that she dreamed of becoming first lady, Mrs. Obama flashed her self-deprecating wit. “It doesn’t pay much,” she advised

    This is the true concern. Obama is replacing well-paid administration positions with unpaid spouse labor. Soon the federal government size will be nearly doubled – although on the plus sides the salary expenses will not increase.


    I can’t wait until the NYT starts charging for content again so I’ll have a reason to not read crap like this anymore.

  • jagorev

    [re=238943]Internally valid[/re]: The New York Times moderates every single comment, which is why you don’t see the real crazy stuff on there. This should be a rule for the entire internet, also.

  • Crazybroad

    [re=239050]jagorev[/re]: That’s not very liberal of you…Are you sure you’re at the right site?

  • recharged95

    Oh my. The NYT comments are just gushing with hearts. I almost barfed from reading the comments.

    But what I learned today:

    1. Goto Harvard–everyone will love you and you are ‘qualified’ for anything.
    Case in point, all those Wall-Street economy whiz kids… (To bad
    Einstein or even hillary didn’t know that).
    2. It’s not a pants-suit. Just a suit. (Now confused on a dress suit?)
    3. I sure miss that French place (where five guys is NOW).
    4. Sell, Sell, Sell.

    Anyhoo, M.O. was the brainchild of Barry’s campaign message. She’s going to love the marketing of his agenda.

  • June Cleaver 2.0

    Great for Michelle. Just wear a suitable hat.

  • Toomush Infermashun

    I believe she meant “OUR mom-in-chief”…’cause I can just hear her tellin’ me, “just wait till your dad gets home”…

  • laminator

    Who the hell dressed her for this event? She looks like she borrowed one of The Man’s blazers. And, bless her heart, she looks so tired.

    Man, who the hell would want this job?

  • zoink

    I think the pregnant idea is way cooler than a puppy. And baby should be homebirthed at the WH.

  • TexasCowGirl

    Who allowed the Nubian Queen out of the room where the Caliph keeps his harem? She is providing a terrible example for all of Barry’s other wives and concubines. BTW, they have yet to respond to my application to join Lord Barry’s harem.