Brian Ross is a national treasure because he is an actual investigative journalist who investigates things. He got this gal who ran a Wall Street hooker ring to turn over her client list, and boy howdy! It is full of, uh, bankers. Probably very interesting to people who know anything about Wall Street! Anyway, many of these bankers and stock brokers used their corporate cards, of course, to fund their extremely expensive habits, so there you go, your bailout money is going to pay off the hooker bill of a New York real estate investor who liked to wear women’s underwear. [Talking Points Memo]
IS THAT A TARP IN YOUR PANTS?
February 9, 2009
Wall Street Hooker Ring Will Probably Need Bailing Out, Too
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Well, that’s one way for the government to provide stimulus.
Look, some of us “New York bankers” need stress relief in order to do our jobs properly and do you know how hard it is to charge Victoria’s Secret to an EXPENSE ACCOUNT????
Hookers, the bank accepts no problem but a lingerie store and then I have to go to the CEO’s office and explain myself and then compare satin to silk and lace push-up bras to the Angels collection!
I think it’s time to short hooker futures.
Sooo…now that I own the banks and stock brokerages, so I now have an STD?
At least I know that all those bank charges I had to pay over the years went to, uh, good use.
I was at a strip club for a bachelor party a few years ago and ran into a guy who graduated from Finance. Many years earlier at a University keg party he and his housemates threw, he refused to tap the last keg because returning it would make the party more PROFITABLE. A bunch of us grabbed it and tapped the keg to spite the shithead. He was upset because his profit margin was ruined. Flash forward, this guy was telling me that he was drunk off his ass and partying with three strippers in a booth and had been here for several hours. He bragged to me that he had already blown about 4500 on the evening and expected to blow about 4000 more by the end of it.
Conversation ended like this:
MC: “Who’s paying for this?”
Cheap Fuck: “My Merrill Lynch expense account.”
MC: “How the fuck do you get away with it?”
Cheap Fuck: “I’ll tell them I was entertaining clients. Meeeee!”
Just cemented my hate for a lot of financiers/bankers. Ultra cheap fucks with their own money, but oh so quick to spend it when it’s on someone else’s dime.
Is this what the Bad Bank is for?
Diaper joke.
“You paid for it on your Corporate Credit Card!” is the rich bastard’s equivalent of “you left the porno IN THE VCR!”
/old Chris Rock’d
Hey Wall Street, take a little lesson from Main Street– you’ll have to get your whores at Costco or WalMart like the rest of us. How you like your fancy pants debt swap derivative option butterfly calls now, jerky?
[re=238843]shanemacgowan[/re]: point!
I wish Eliot Spitzer was still around to vigorously go after this filth. Oh, wait.
Socks joke.
If we can set their salaries, can we also declare their sons and daughters aged 18-34 to be a public utility?
The Revolution will be over when the last aristocrat is strangled in the panties of the last banker
Wait… Bankers screwing hookers? I’m shocked! Next you’re going to tell me that professional athletes take steroids and that priests like to molest little boys.
Better than having the cash locked up in some crooked derivitive swap and disappearing without a trace, at least strippers and hookers go out and buy stuff to keep the money moving.
Well, Al Qaeda was trying to explain to us who is the global enemy and it’s strong arm. It went on deaf ears. While I don’t agree with their delivery methods, their message seemed abundantly clear…at least to me. Corporate America values money over it’s own people’s welfare. Imagine how they view people of third-world countries. I give them credit for fighting back.
We need to storm the Bastille. We need some dull, rusty guillotine blades. That seems to be the only tool that will change the habits and sense of entitlement of the upper 10%.
I don’t care as long as none of that money is going to ACORN.
Seriously, how does one get a hold of that list? I wonder if she has a link somewhere.
[re=238857]MARCdMan[/re]: EXACTLY. Think of the nail salons that would go out of business if we prosecuted something like this.
I vaguely remember…hm…oldish movie with Chevy Chase and Demi Moore. Uh. “Nothing But Trouble”. The psychotic town judge was fueled by his hatred of bankers. I’m going to have to rent that one and cheer for the crazies.
Well, DUH. Do you think rich people get rich by paying for hookers with their own money? Think, people. I understand that lap dances at Scores show up on your credit card as “NYC Catering” or somesuch.
The bankers were screwing pretty much everyone, so color me unsurprised.
On the other hand, as Chairman of GHOPAC, I’d like to point out that hookers pay taxes, too, so this is just an example of banks putting their money back into the local economy through personal services. Deep in, perhaps, but probably not.
[re=238866]CorkPopper[/re]: Um, something like that, yes.
Best damn sandwich I ever ate.
[re=238873]actor212[/re]: I used to feel sheepish about my occasional $500 expense report until the admin told me about the ones she got from my male colleagues. If Scores goes out of business, we’ll know it’s really the beginning of the apocalypse.
Don’t think of them as bankers, think of them as frequent depositors.
Why do all madams look like shemales? Is it the Botox?
I find this less offensive then lavish corporate retreats and now the bank can offer something far more valuable than a toaster as reward for opening a new account.
[re=238879]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: No. It’s a matter of demand side economics.
How much longer until she “kills herself” under “mysterious circumstances?”
[re=238870]TGY[/re]: Well, they only pay if the subject comes up on the line item. Actually, it brings up this good point: drugs and paysex could be legalized and take care of both the stimulus and the deficit….if only…’cause I’ve tried myself to save the economy by drinking…
[re=238885]Toomush Infermashun[/re]: That’s like ‘drink Canada Dry’, yes? A laudable goal, and one every true patriot should consider. Yes we can!
[re=238879]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: All cats are gray in the dark, whether they be queens or queen-like toms. Also from behind and the view from the top of the head, too.
I must admit, I’m shocked. Finding out that they had sex with legal adults? The mind boggles…
Hell I’m just glad to see that
the taxpayers weren’t the
only ones who got fucked.
[re=238863]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Plus my investment here would be in real trouble:
http://tinyurl.com/da47pp
[re=238886]TGY[/re]: I thought Canada couldn’t afford a Public Relations Bureau because no one wanted to work there. How wrong I was…!
[re=238879]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: They also all play a mean tuba. There’s your hint.
from the History Channel, I’ve learned that prostitution was an integral part of the Wild West economy.
that applies here, right?
[re=238842]ManchuCandidate[/re]: What kind of socially inept creep brags about how much money he spends on strippers/hookers? Some of us still get our pussy for free, or at least for the price of a decent night out and the allure of our charming motherfuckin’ selves. But then all it takes to be a successful investment banker is a complete lack of honesty and the emotional development of a twelve-year-old.
[re=238877]CorkPopper[/re]: In fairness to the bankers, Scores doesn’t exactly, um, remind you of your tab until weeks later when you get the bill.
OK, that was unfair to Scores to say that. They assume people are adults. But the occasional story pops up (pun intended) of the $100K lap dance.
[re=238903]SayItWithWookies[/re]: You make that sound like it’s a bad thing…
[re=238903]SayItWithWookies[/re]: There is nothing douchier or more completely insecure than an investment banker. When my girlfriend worked for Bear Stearns back at the dawn of the 21st century, she always came home early from corporate functions because they started at a steakhouse (she was a vegetarian) and ended at a strip club, which she refused to enter. She’d regale me with stories about the kinds of conversations that were had over drinks and food. One guy loved to proudly dig into his rare steak by exclaiming “I like my steak the way I like my women – raw and bloody!” This would be followed by a round of high-fives and backslapping. I can see the fun in it if there had been even a hint of irony in any of their statements, but alas… no.
Little, little boys with big wallets. That’s all they are.
[re=238922]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Did you know our local Republican donors get together at the Ruth’s Chris on Pine for cocktails? The Stranger had a funny column about it a year ago. Ugh. Leave it to Bankers and Republicans to pick the stuffiest and most boring joint in town for a soire. It seems like The Cuff would be a more appropriate venue.
[re=238903]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Yeah, it’s like date rapists bragging about the tail they got. OK, so she was drunk, held down and screaming to get away, but sure baby, you’re a heckuva man.
So basically the only way I am getting any stimulus action is if I start hooking on the side?
Sigh.
[re=238930]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: Well, that’s Seattle Republicans. So yeah, just what you’d expect.
[re=238930]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: We should crash it sometime. They have a very affordable happy hour ($1 sliders!), and it would be really fun to fuck with those people. I think I might have some pearls locked away somewhere – they’d take a while to realize that I was an imposter.
I lived with a stock broker. He had no soul. He still does not. He is dating two strippers on the side of his girlfriend, who is a washed up Brazilian model. He represents all that is wrong with the world. I’m jealous.
[re=238930]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: Sean Assity plugs Ruth’s Chris on his radio show all the time. So if it wasn’t a rich conservative staple by virtue of serving expensive steak deep-fried in butter, it’s got the foaming-at-the-mouth endorsement too.
[re=238922]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: My ex-uncle is an investment banker — and if you think living with one would be intolerable, just try divorcing one. As far as I know, my kind, gentle, loving-everybody grandfather never wanted to beat anyone to death until ex-Uncle Asshole transferred all his and my aunt’s joint accounts to his name and emptied them. Among other things.
[re=238952]SayItWithWookies[/re]:
My condolences to your aunt. I dated an investment banker, but she dumped me because I didn’t spend enough money on her even though I was witty, charming and made her laugh (at least I thought she was.)
Fast forward several years later, I realize now that I dodged a pretty big but shallow bullet after hearing about her not-so-wonderful relationship with her broker hubbie. I feel sorry for the guy she dumped me for.
[re=238930]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: First of all, who the fuck is Ruth? Second of all, who the fuck is Chris?
[re=238883]Guppy06[/re]: “complications from breast augmentation surgery.”
I don’t understand the issue here. These are Republican bankers, not Republican Congressman.
Or do you have a problem with their plan for full employment of women.
[re=238881]Chad San Marino[/re]: Why do older hookers look like shemales? Because “men with tits” is the look rich neocon fucks *like*; that’s what they, and most of the rest of the Power Structure, think is attractive.
Exhibit A: Ann Coulter. I think she looks like a mummified Jabberwocky, but I still hear Rich Guys talking about how “hot” she is.
Exhibit B: Nancy Pfotenhauer. *Also* looks like a mummified Jabberwocky.
Exhibit C: Katharine Harris.
Exhibit D: Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Still young enough to actually *be* kind of hot, but give her a few years, and she’ll be a Jabberwocky, too.
[re=238992]iolanthe[/re]: A fascinating and revelatory analysis. I’m going to take that fucker and run with it, if you don’t mind…
[re=238992]iolanthe[/re]: Exhibit C: But man, what tits! Not to mention her cougar prowling.
Considering the way these nozzles paid for their hookers (along with the spending habits of everybody else in the country), it seems the best place to be is working for a credit card company.
Catering, fucking… who cares what the money was for, you still owe us interest.
[re=238857]MARCdMan[/re]: The hookers also perform a socially useful service, unlike their clients, the investment bankers.
[re=238879]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: How come you know so much about shemales?
[re=239026]Aurelio[/re]: I went to a liberal arts college. The more interesting question is, how do I know that all madams look like shemales?
[re=239032]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Okay, I’ll bite. How come you know all madams?
Ooooh, so now I finally understand why they’re all so pissed off about this salary cap idea. I thought they were worried about the dock fees at the yacht club. Really, they may just have to forego the 2pm daily lapdances.
[re=239065]CivicHoliday[/re]: You don’t understand. This is a real bummer for these gentlemen, who need a daily release from the tensions of their stress-filled jobs. It isn’t easy mismanaging other people’s money.
Here I assumed hookers took only hard cash! Esp. after Jerry Springer and the bad check episode.
[re=239032]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: How come THIS madam looks like Courtney Love? That’s what’s been bothering ME all day.
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