Terry McAuliffe, the famous American statesman who helped Hillary Clinton win the presidency by bravely volunteering to do shots of rum on live television very early in the morning, deserves whatever office he decides to run for. He has offered to bestow his gubernatorial blessing on the great state of Virginia, a place he has apparently lived for many years (?!), but first he must VANQUISH several rivals in the Democratic primary.
One of these rivals made fun of Terry McAuliffe at the fancy Jefferson-Jackson dinner this weekend for being a terrible Clintonite sellout who only cares about money.
“We must decide what our party stands for,” [former House member Brian] Moran told the audience of activists in Richmond. “Will our party be dominated by big money and those who raise it, or will we be the party of the people?”
This was a pretty bold thing to say, as “McAuliffe brought in several busloads of supporters and purchased 39 tables at the dinner, ranging from $2,500 to $25,000 a table.” These supporters obligingly booed Moran when he mentioned that Terry McAuliffe is a very effective fundraiser.
Brian Moran, ladies and gentlemen! Balls of steel! And Terry McAuliffe: will probably win, due to literal busloads of cash!
McAuliffe takes heat from rival at Democratic dinner [Political Ticker]
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Get a brain, Moran. And if you can’t, McAuliffe will buy one for you. Do you need a spare? He’ll buy two. MWAHH-HAHH-HAHH-HAHHHHHHHHH!
“Will our party be dominated by big money and those who raise it, or will we be the party of the people?”
Duh, the answer is big money.
Shots of rum early in the morning wins it every time.
“Brian Moran, ladies and gentlemen! Balls of steel!” Pockets of Lint!
[re=238823]BillyClubb[/re]: That’s like ‘Give me liberty or give me death’. You have to ask yourself which is on sale and are the terms reasonable.
Wasn’t he offering to do shots of rum with Mika Scarborough-Krzyzewski, from MSNBC’s Morning Joe? That’s actually something I would like to do as well.
Sweater kittens…
I kind of look upon McAuliffe’s run a lot like Clinton’s primary battle. Everyone sees McAullife as the inevitable winner with boatloads of cash, even though I don’t think anyone on the planet really likes him or thinks he’s a compelling candidate. It’s the same feeling of “Well, I don’t really like you, but if you get the nomination I’ll probably vote for you over some Republican.” It’s the feeling that a loser is going to win because no one had faith in the system. At least this time it’s only in Virginia.
Is Mark Penn driving the McAuliffe Express?
“How can we as a party go for a guy that looks like a cross between Rik from the Young Ones and Jimmy Buffett? What the fuck, people?!?”
McAuliffe thinks he can just pick a state with an open seat and take it, despite no real connection? I mean, who does he think he is, Hillary Clinton?
[re=238830]Watchreader[/re]: to those of us in Virginia, being stuck with this piece of shit versus the Republican piece of shit as options is a pretty big deal. I might even given Moran money. At least he has spent much of his career in public service and knows where the fuck Richmond is.
Get a brian, moran.
Moran? The guys name is really moran? Fuck, he can’t win with a name like that. Americans don’t vote for people will sill…oh, never mind.
Jesus H. Christ on rollerskates. I’ll say this one more time, Terry, on behalf of my whole Commonwealth: DO. NOT. WANT!
Wait, that’s not Gary Busey?
[re=238836]norbizness[/re]: Vegetable rights and peace!
[re=238850]gurukalehuru[/re]: well, we in this District have elected his brother Jim to US Congress about 10 times so far, and Brian to state legislature quite a few, so we in Northern VA apparently like our Morans. Maybe we feel it is more honest just to say it up front like that instead of using another name and then revealing the moranity only after election.
Obvs, all drunks should be taken off the streets and put into governor’s mansions. They can take turns being governor.
The Democrats can’t be the party of the people, Moran — they don’t do a good enough job of whipping the masses into a terrified frenzy to be their rightfully elected representatives.
Michael Hurley: ‘Drinkin’ in the mornin’, Mama don’t you scold, That’s the best time for drinkin’, that’s when it takes ahold….’ um…rumm…mmm…
[re=238848]Come here a minute[/re]: Correct. As in one of my favorite student bloopers, from a book report on “I am Third”:
“Gale Sayers loved his fried Brain Piccolo.”
The link in this post goes to the wonkette admin.
[re=238836]norbizness[/re]: “Have you had enough, fascist, or do you want some more?”
Well, if the citizens of the great Commonwealth of Virginia vote like I did back in my 20′s, Moran’s got a fighting chance. Here’s how it works: when you see a primary ballot that has listed, for each open office, a half dozen or more unremarkable names you don’t know and don’t care about, always vote for the funniest-sounding name.
Hang in there, Moran.
[re=238855]tehbenton[/re]: Seconded.
Even though Bob McDonnell doesn’t completely suck as far as Republicans go (and the College Republicans here have informed me that he makes a “bitchin’ lemontini”), Virginia really doesn’t do well with governors that are not Democrats. And seeing as no one in “real” Virginia is gonna vote for a guy that says “JAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHBS”, that is exactly what is going to happen.
titsmcgee: Bobby Mac is not the worst we could do if we get a Republican, but that’s like saying that the boil on my right ass cheek hurts a little less than the one on the left.
And I’m fed up with Terry’s ads that show how much he cares about my part of VA, in particular. You were drunk, Terry! Hampton Roads was telling you to GTFO, not to save our JAAAAAHBS.
If slammin’ back Rum from the bottle isn’t “party of the people” you tell me what is?
[re=238976]tehbenton[/re]: Yeah, I was back home in Norfolk this past weekend, and I was almost offended by how hard he was trying to pander to us. I haven’t seen his Richmond-specific commercial yet, and even though being plastered at Doumar’s is a winner, I think he can do the 804 one better.
Terry is a booze swilling, breezy, blowhard. If ever I’m looking for a pal to do a pub crawl around DC at say, 10 a.m., I’ll be sure to look him up; however, the hard-working and adorably good-looking Brian Moran gets my vote for governor of Virginia.
Hey dorks on this thread: I just realized Terry McAuliffe looks like Leoben from BSG.. Like, really similar. They’re both kind of irritating, they have the same hairstyle, and Leoben always wears these ugly casual button-down things that makes him look like a coked-out Blackwater guard on vacation. Just like that stupid Hawaiian shirt above!
Coincidence? Highly unlikely.
[re=239044]ogradybt[/re]: Leoben = http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leoben_Conoy
ok so i was actually at the event and i can vouch 100% for wonkette’s reporting. not that i ever doubted them.
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