Wonkette
It’s hard to describe the hilarity of what David Vitter argued today in opposition to the stimulus package. If you enjoy his flatter-version-of-Al-Gore voice, feel free to watch all five minutes, but here’s the key line: “And so my amendment is very plain and very simple: it says no money in the stimulus bill can go to, will go to, under any circumstances, ACORN.” ECONOMY = FIXED. [YouTube]
oh noes, not acorns. save us david vitter, you’re our only hope.
geeze, maybe i need a drink after all.
I really hate Republicans
What about the raccoons? They eat acorns. What does he have against racoons??
That money will go to Proctor & Gamble’s Luvs division instead, I suppose?
Its not surprising that a man with a fetish as out-there as shitting himself and having a prostitute clean it up would be repulsed by a pedestrian project like voter registration.
ACORN = Adult Containment Of Rectal Noxiousness?
What will we doooooooo without ACORN??????
In the presence of such truth and honesty I feel somewhat vitiated.
…lemme get this straight, you bag of liquid diarrhea with corn kernels: The entire sub-prime market in New Mexico was caused by the $100,000 subsidy they received from the government!
How much to go to the diaper industry?
The Democratic senators should come out wearing diapers over their normal attire.
You know that’s what Franken’s dying to do.
Ok. Seriosly. I Gesticulate like an Itallian, but that is just retarded. Slow speaking with southern drawl + gestures = Bush Fail. It’s retarded condescencion. Speaking down to people that aren’t as retarded as you.
Filty nutsack jackel.
He is, however, angling strongly for the $4.2 billion to the Proctor & Gamble company, maker of Luvs and Pampers.
Doglessliberal: the sex-crazedraccoons are involved? oh dear dog.
qwerty42: aren’t they always, really?
I’m glad *that’* settled.
chascates: You really think Franken is that funny? I guess you never heard his Air America show.
This ACORN bullshittery is just another form of manufactured outrage that Vitter is using to try and make us forget about his pervy diaper fetish.
IT’S NOT WORKING DAVID.
Come to think of it, I don’t remember that Diaperman has ever NOT gone “Full Wingnut.”
it’s always amusing to see Vitter diaper himself in the soft flannel of self-righteousness..
Christ on a crutch, where DO they find these people?
Tell you what, dud, uh, “dude”: we won’t wub ‘ou wittle weenie waw with acorns if you’ll shut the fuck up and vote for the damn bill.
Diaperhead. Also.
Save us Stormee Daniels, you’re our only hope!
Jeebus, is this guy a dick or what? Can’t we just dump him in a room with DeMint and Inhofe, close but not lock the door, and see how many hours it takes for the one of them with an IQ between 11 and 20 to figure out that they’re not locked in? Christ, the three of them are three percent of the Senate. Which is three percent too many. This guy is the worst sack of shit to come along in the south since reconstruction. For god’s sake, Louisiana, can’t you do something about this douche?
Doglessliberal: Yeah. I guess it always comes down to sex-crazed raccoons and acorns. and diapers. Oh yeah, buttsecks too. These being Republicans and all. Well tax rebates for everyone. oh, just one thing, the idea of cutting CEO’s pay at those institutions that take Uncle Sam’s dime now has some opposition.
Put some smell of fish under his nose and he will whip out his wallet and bingo total hard decision making…
And my response is very plain and very simple. It says no money in the stimulus bill can go to, will go to, under any circumstances, Louisiana, if David Vitter votes against the stimulus package.
Aaaw… did somebody poke the wittle baby with a safety pin at his last “session”?
He really has it in for Acorn. Was that the stage name for his DC prostitute?
ACORN! ACORN!
Wait, where’s the diaper?
Neilist: Kudos.
You have to give him some credit for not going full retard and bringing up the fairness doctrine.
Vitter goes full-wingnut. He’s the dude playing the dude disguised as another dude wearing diapers while two escorts piss on his face in a hotel bathtub.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my home state and all, but GOD DAMN that is some seriously stupid shit Vitter is spouting.
DangerousLiberal: What you said.
Okay, unacceptable. As an almost constituent of this guy, I am appalled. David, do you know who is administering the New Orleans Road Home program? In lieu of the government? Because smaller government is the solution?
ACORN, David, ACORN is stepping in.
Then again, all the Canal Street brothels have already been rebuilt. So what do you care?
(Wow, that was cathartic).
Um, and the part in the Constitution about Congress passing no bill of attainder? Or are we going to have a constitutional amendment that ACORN sucks?
I would call him a piece of shit, but he would probably take it as a compliment.
This would be a better world if we could just have people like this guy taken out and shot.
Or at least deported to the Land of the Adult Babies.
CaliforniaMike: ditto
This is so hypocritical. If anyone knows about spending money to stimulate his package, it is David Vitter.
I am so deeply, deeply ashamed to admit this, but evidently the CS Monitor failed to run the Vitter/Poopy Diaper/Hooker story. can someone give it to me in a nutshell (acorn, preferably–snort, snort, lame) or do I have to use the Google?
DangerousLiberal: Can we put Coburn in there with them? He’s so arrogant and obnoxious, listening to him should be a violation of the Geneva Conventions.
He embarrasses me daily.
We could flood his cellar and stand him on his head and a straw to breath through…I think his wife might help…that is like water boarding ain’t it?
I think we should pass a resolution that allows Jamie Farr, J.P. Morgan, and Charles Nelson Reilly to sit in on these sessions and Gong at will. When asshats like Vitter get gonged with the first over emphasized gesture, he is forced to yield the floor to Gene Gene the Dancing Machine.
DustBowlBlues: In a nutshell, David Vitter was banging hookers and it involved an adult diaper. But everyone in Louisiana loves banging hookers, so they promptly reelected him. Also, he’s an idiot. Hope that helps.
bago: Barbara Boxer really had a point today when she was chastising Graham for being a drama queen - the Republicans are using the trick of describing all the things in the package that they claim are “pork” in an over-the-top, condescending voice, because *that* will make it stupid.
I saw Mitch McConnell on the news last week, rolling his eyes and talking about how there was something in the stimulus package for “honeybee insurance” - you know, except, it’s a major part (a third?) of food pollination, and bee farmers are going under because of colony collapse, and that means everyone who works for them is out of a job, too. Oh, but, honeybee is a silly, girlie word, so this must be gay pork for ACORN fagz.
More of my friends got laid off today, so I’m feeling a little sick of this crap…
I liked it so much - I watched it twice!
DangerousLiberal: I suggest we dump him with Lil Nacy Pelossi… May be together can bring their IQ to a decent level ….
This guy is an stinking actor…. !
Heywood Floyd: Very much win.
We wouldn’t have this sub-prime mess if those poor people hadn’t tried to buy homes.
t.a.m.s.y.: “Also, he’s an idiot. Hope that helps.”
Absolutely. And now I know it’s worth using The Google to get the details.
OT–When are the fucking senate Dems going to start acting like Dems? And Hopey going to start naming shit like the Stimulus Bill a Jobs Bill? And using that massive e-list of his to rally support for a bill? Wouldn’t it be fairly easy to tell everyone how to call their senator?
When are the Democrats in the senate going to look the filibuster in the eye and say, “Fuck you. Bring in the cots.” Or just do away with the fucking rule the way the Rs almost did when the Dems had the temerity to use it?
When is our party going to get a fucking backbone? Hilda Solis is being fucked around with because the unions want her.
How pathetically will the Democrats cave when the Employee Freedom of Choice Act comes around? ‘Cuz there ain’t no way to cave halfway, like with the tax-cuts bill they just agreed to.
To wit: When will the Democrats finally just kick the Repugs in the nuts and get on with business? How fucking lame are they?
Notice they only show him from the waist up.
His hand motions pantomime lifting load after load of shitty diapers onto the podium. It’s almost disturbing.
From the time that all those post-Katrina negroes were removed from New Orleans, Vitter has known that he will have no opposition to re-election unless the Louisiana legislature declares that raccoons or high school graduates should get the vote.
Louisiana high school graduates, Vitter can deal with them by offering part-tuition and plastic snorkels to the underwater campus of LSU. Raccoons will not be so taken in.
Doglessliberal: See above.
I think about 4:37 was when he shit his diaper
In all seriousity, since Vitter soiled himself, so to speak, thru his DC whore nappy scandal, he has been searching for a hook to make himself appear less a ’prevert’ among his rusted beer can, trailer park voters.
The post-November election ranting and tearing of Neiman Marcus silk garments by the GOP politicos seeking redefine the party thru a ‘return’ to fiscal conservatism (such as not pursuing a trillion dollar war in Iraqistan) has given Vitter a chance for cover. At this point, Vitter will oppose federal money for smoke alarms in orphanages so long as that will take attention away from his past.
As a Louisiana voter, I PROMISE YOU, he is not going to be elected next election. Chances are very good right now that he won’t even be the Republican nominee, they’re talking mutiny. The problem is that the guy who wants to replace him is much worse, just without the dirty laundry, Scalise. I can’t control what the conservatives do in my state, but even they’re fed up with diaper boy.
When you watch it without sound, it is the best thing since sign language.
When you watch it with sound, it is the best thing since sign language.
DustBowlBlues: He was caught fucking prostitutes. That’s confirmed. The diaper bit (that he paid them to dress him up in diapers) was from an “inside source”, but the two hookers involved (one in D.C., one in New Orleans) never confirmed it.
At least, that’s how I remember it. You don’t get the news on the news.
Menelaus Pappy O’Daniel wouldn’t lower hiimself to sell farina in Louisiana. Even though he loved the Soggy Bottom Boys.
Geez, why bring a diaper to a knife fight…?
Is ACORN the name of his favorite brand of diaper?
Stop talking trash about my senator. He only wears clean diapers that have been laundered by illegal immigrants.
Legalnola: Vitter in the shitter? What could be fitter?
acorns grow trees, from which we get disposable diapers
If only it was that easy to ‘fix’ David Vitter.
haha, 1:45, he can’t even bring himself to admit that someone actually had to lend the money. golly, who did that?
David Vitter, Diaper Gnome.
This asshole came to my family’s door in Metairie, LA — a suburb outside of New Orleans, in Jefferson Parish — during his humble beginnings. Started out running for state rep. He won his bid, and his policies back then were nothing like this insane jesus-humping republican fascist bullshit that seems to tug at all of them now. He seemed like a decent guy and I recall my father liking him a good deal, and my parents always voted for him, despite being librul america hatin’ muslins, until we moved out of state in ‘95.
Want to hear something to top this shit off? A year earlier David Duke came to our door too. Our dog jumped all up in his shit. My mom was quite charmed by him until she saw his name and recall set in. Didn’t stop me from getting his autograph on the back of a crumpled and jizzed on Chick witness tract a few months later during Mardi Gras, though.
Ah, Metairie. Who would have thought Vitter would turn into such a fuckbasket and establishment tool, not to mention diaper fetishist and all-around scumbag. You know what they say… power corrupts, and New Orleans corrupts absolutely.
gurukalehuru: I’d believe a prostitute before a senator any day … oh, or are they the same thing? Huh?
For this Johnny Thunders gave his life?
As a resident of the ultimate wing-nut state, I’m throwing no stones at LA.
Sen Coburn doesn’t care about global warming because the lord won’t let it come to that–if they world’s to be destroyed, dagnabbit, the big guy’s going to do it himself. Bring in the End Times.
shortsshortsshorts: ZOMG!!!1! That IS awesome. He resembles a gay garden gnome come to life! I enjoy imagining that he’s describing how he makes lollipops with his unicorn friends and collects strawberry water from a magic stream and plays paddy-cake with Care Bears.
Stupid sound ruins everything.
Jukesgrrl: Not the same at all. When you buy a prostitute, she stays bought. When you buy a Senator, he craps in his diapers and says Jeebus made him do it.
Vitter and Ben Nelson should take a long trip together somewhere. Upper Mongolia is beautiful this time of year.
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/2009/02/living-on-prayer_07.html
qwerty42: What? A racoon in diapers has been buggering him? I doubt republipervs are that imaginative.
Zhu Bajie
I’ve not seen such reaching, wild-dart-throwing, arbitrary-dot-connecting, 2-plus-2-equalling-5, making-an-oak-tree-out-of-an-ACORN antics in, oh, since the last right-wing babbling You-Toobz clip I’ve, out of a sense of doody, made myself sit through. And this “speech” couldn’t even stir Lincoln to spin in his grave so much as a single RPM.
One Yield Regular: A little frottage ought to rub that off.
Wow. That moron is a US Senator, member of the world’s most elite debating society, etc. How has this nation survived? Is God really on our side and demonstrating his power by showing that we can continue to buy plastic crap from Walmart even with heads of smelly cabbage in the US Senate, all thanks to our divine status as the shining city-thing on the upward protuberance?
Personally, I hope David Vitter stays visible. Poopy Diaper Man never stops giving, and he’s an ace-in-the-asshole for libs who needs to beef up their mileage.
Long Live Poopy Diaper Man! May he run for nation office soon! If not Palin/Plumber in 2012, howz about Palin/Vitter? She can dress up in her stiletto heels with an AK47 slung across her nipple-ringed chesticle area and he can get down on all fours with a pacifier and a pair of Pull-Ups.
God, I love Johnny Thunders!
damn ACORN people suckin’ our money and making Merika weak, bet they been gittin’ all that money that shuda gone to buy bombs and such damn ACORN commie organizers!!
Where was that big argument about “vitiate”? Could we agree on “Vitterate”? Verb. to pronounce unequivocably, while shitting oneself, and experiencing orgasm (reported, not confirmed).
Diaper on too tight.
Does Vitter have a point here?
Depends.