Wonkette
The thought that all sports fans had upon hearing the name of Palin’s most pregnant daughter has, in fact, been confirmed: “But also, Bristol, Connecticut, is the home of ESPN. And when I was in high school, my desire was to be a sportscaster. ESPN was just kicking off, just getting off the ground, and I thought that’s what I was going to do in life, is be one of the first woman sportscasters. Until I learned that you’d have to move to Bristol, Connecticut. It was far away. So instead, I had a daughter and named her Bristol.” This line of logic also explains why there are so many children of waitresses named “Hollywood.” [Esquire]
Take THAT, Bristol Bay, Alaska. At least she didn’t name her ‘Overtime’.
Hmm, this is sort of similar to why my dad suggested I name my first adoptive baby ‘Fag for a Son’.
Moving across the country was hard, so you gave up? Winner!
Ok…time to leave her alone and let her fade away.
This news will be upsetting to Rod Blagojevich’s daughter, “Mars”.
I guess it’s a good thing that Bristol was a girl…
cause Olberman’s Ballsack Palin jus’ do’t ring.
Riiiiiight.
I’m guessing she was actually named after NASCAR’s Bristol Motor Speedway.
Palin 2012!
Jesus, I just went and read that whole Esquire thing. It was satire, right?
olbermann looked creepy back then too.
So, the next time she has that “not so fresh” feeling, her next child will be called “Douche.” Obvs.
Let’s see: if she’d wanted to be a stockbroker, she’d have a baby named “Wallstreet,” like the Snopes family in Faulkner, which hers resembles in so many ways.
A glimpse inside the mind of Sarah Palin. I think the BB in a box car analogy holds here as well.
“Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?”
She’s not sure if ya can get mooseburger in New York but ya need it to make that good chili.
ServiceJervixJuice: Win!
Glad her ambition wasn’t as porno star or Bristol would have been named Double Penetration.
What’s Tripp named after?
JEEEEEEEZZZZUUUUSSSS. Sarah, you just dig yourself a deeper dumb hole every time you open your mouth.
Then, again, maybe I shouldn’t complain…. dear me, what 2012 might be…. a re-election landslide of historic proportions.
Fair enough then, Governor, now how do you explain Track and Trig?
Is that why Larry Craig named one of his children “Hershey?”
George W Bush was once a MLB Commissioner candidate and Palin wanted to be a sports reporter. Ahhh, to think what might of been.
Oh well, we’d probably just be complaining about ex-President Madden.
“… and boom goes the dynamite.”
Oh, and that ad in the lefthand column, “Like Palin?”
Only as pathetic comic relief on a drab Friday. Otherwise, when the HELL is Darwinism going to take care of this morooon?
You know she’s going to name her next puppy “Megadeth” just to stay in the media spotlight (and by “puppy” I mean, of course, baby).
When is she gonna have a kid named “Speaks in Complete Sentences?” Or is she not that ambitious?
ServiceJervixJuice: FTW
BRING ON ZAMBONI
She was *this close* to naming Track, “Chuck E. Cheese”
I predict a new twist on an old series of jokes will come from Palin interviews and it will go some thing like…
Comedian: Sarah Palin is so dumb…
Audience: How dumb is she?
SayItWithWookies: JeffGoldblum: Next kid’s name: “Also.”
And now she’s living big time, in the double-wide with a pool.
From the hoopla of the convention and ‘hotness’, she could have easily been the Maria Bartiromo of ESPN. Instead, she’s now, well, a loser.
Back then Olbermann and her together would be one interesting show. Talk about bizarro land.
Anyway good choice, Bristol is boring and freakin cold 6 months of the year. Only thing it’s got going for that area is being 90min away from ‘the citi’.
You have to let it go. Even hard news sources, credible news sources — the comment about, you can see Russia from Alaska. You can! You can see Russia from Alaska. Something like that — a factual statement that was taken out of context and mocked — what you have to do is let that go.”
Yes you do, you really do have to let that one go, Sarah.
Please, just have a baby named Whitehouse and get out of politics!
Ok, Sarah, Piper? Willow?
Deepthroat: queeraselvis v 2.0: Serolf Divad: SayItWithWookies: HA! and HA! All y’all.
So, I’m sure Trig wasn’t named after trigonometry, and not knowing, I’m supposing he was named after a gun’s trigger or Roy Rodger’s horse. If she was truly presidential material, she would’ve gone a little higher tone and named him Catalyst.
And this is why Barack’s next baby (you guys heard that Michelle is totes preggers right?) will be named Mecca.
It’s a good thing she didn’t want to be a Gynecologist.
“Our next contestant for the Wasilia Elementary School talent competition is Blue Knob Palin with her trailer hitch trick.”
Good thing ESPN wasn’t located here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intercourse,_Pennsylvania
I just thought she she was a big fan of the Dovells…
If only ESPN administered abortions.
It looks like another “dress and look like Father Guido Sarducci Day” at ESPN headquarters.
P.S. Chris Berman’s Nutra-Slim or whatever the fuck they’re called commercials are the 6th herald of the Apocalypse. WHOOP!
ServiceJervixJuice: You’re on the right track. She had read about Catherine the Great’s equestrian exploits, which is why the other kid is named “Trig.”
Should have named one of them “Moose” cause them’s good eats, ya becha.
She also says “Bored, anonymous, pathetic bloggers who lie annoy me”. So, err.. in your face JIM NEWELL, if that is your REAL NAME!
Can I move in with anyone since I now have to move out of CT - forever tarnished. I’ll bring my pet monkey “Hannity”.
ServiceJervixJuice: Trig is Norwegian for “strength” (or truth or victory or faithful, depending on the source) so that makes sense for at least that baby. The full name is Trig Paxson Van Palin, with the Van Palin part a tribute to Sarah’s favorite band, Van Halen. I don’t know what the Paxson is about. Track is named after Sarah’s love of track and field, Piper is probably from the oil pipelines on which Todd Palin worked, and Willow is maybe Sarah’s favorite movie?
freakishlystrong: Piper is her favourite North Sea Oil platform and Willow was her favourite character in Buffy.
magic titty:
Linda _______ (Monica’s friend)
Dr. Spaceman: Yeah, she reminds me of people I grew up with who are scared to move out of the city.
As if Michael Wilbon and Tony Kornheiser weren’t enough of a reason to hate ESPN.
http://detroitist.blogspot.com
Brendan M.: Willow truly was a great movie.
V572625694: W_I_N
Palin = Snopes. White trash = White trash. I can see clearly now.
freakishlystrong: Both younger daughters were born during the runs of “Charmed” (Piper) and “Buffy The Vampire Slayer” (Willow)…not only are both the characters powerful Wiccans, but Willow was a technogeek Jewish lesbian to boot.
That Bristol revelation does well to illuminate the tangled clusterfuck of tracks that guides her train wreck reasoning
I live a half-an-hour away from Bristol, Connecticut, and yet I am planning on naming my first-born son “Wasilla.”
helzapoppn: I’ve spent about 60% of my lifetime masterbation time thinking about technogeek Jewish lesbians who are but also Wiccans.
freakishlystrong: She also wanted to be a musician, and then realized she was probably better qualified to be a tree or a box of rocks.
Have we ever learned the middle names of Track, Bristol, Piper and Willow?
facehead: Or:
Accident, MD
Beebeetown, Ia
Dry Prong, LA
Wikieup, AZ
Flasher, ND
Shake Rag, Ga
Nothing, AZ
Show Low, AZ
Frogeye, MD
Lizard Lick, NC
Happy,TX
Ding Dong, TX
Reddick, FL
Bat Cave, N.C.
Short Pump, VA
Pilot Knob, IN
Monkeys Eyebrow, KY
Humptulips, WA
Spread Eagle, WI
Oblong, IL
Mossy Head, FL
Sleepy Eye, MN
Wall, PA
Nimrod, MN
Last Chance, CO
Zzyzx, CA
Why, CA
“Well, I was gonna move but it was such a hassle that I got knocked up instead and named the baby after my abandoned aspirations.” Jesus-Tap-Dancing-Christ.
Does she know that the prez and vp can’t live in Wasilla? Also.
“Honey, you were named after Mommy’s failed hopes and dreams. Isn’t that great?”
JesusrollerbladingChrist.
“The beauty of America is that individuals making up this great country do have different priorities.”
Such as matricide vs. arson?
Mouth breather.
S.Luggo: Don’t forget Silk Hope, NC. Not a stoplight or any silk when I drove through in 1990.
Lets see piper after playing the pipes and willow where she was concieved, trip is self explanatory where the $%&^&** did she get trig??????????????????
Should’ve named her Barracuda.
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/
S.Luggo: The sign that lead to Zzyzx, California has been stolen a total of 18 million times. Not the big one though, their saving that one for Jesus.
The Worldwide Leader in Stupidity.
S.Luggo: Don’t forget Truth or Consequences, New Mexico!
S.Luggo: …and Blue Ball, Pennsylvania.
So, was she lying then or is she lying now? Or is Bristol named after every geographical location with the name Bristol? ah who cares…http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/republican_race/2008/08/30/2008-08-30_whats_in_the_palin_childrens_names_fish_.html
I love the fact that this corncob piece of alaska white trash is the new face of the republican party. Just imagine the mockery going on behind the scenes within the republican power elite when this bitch’s name comes up. Bet it makes Wonkette look like a Noggin commercial break.
S.Luggo: Parumph, Nevada?
Dr. Spaceman: Gallowglass: MacBastard: This anecdote of Lady Starburst’s must be warmly meditated upon by Bristol in her forthcoming Dreams From My Mother.
I thought it was Bristols because she hoped the little gal would have a nice rack and get knocked up by a hockey player before she graduated from high school.
S.Luggo:
Climax Michigan. There’s a sign On I94 theat says “Climax next exit”.
Palin/Plumber 2012!
Little known fact. Had Bristol had a twin in vitro, it would have been named Stomp.
Just sayin’.
ZaZaZaBing
Mort
It is nice to see a picture of Keith from his Porn Star days. I think that is how he and Dan Patrick met, right?
I have a question, though. Conservatives are up in arms against some women having six embryos implanted in her and bringing the resulting eight babies to birth when she already has a ton of children to care for, but they are all in favor of a women getting pregnant when she is in her 40s and there is a high chance of birth defects and when she already has a ton of children to take care of and a time consuming job.
Serolf Divad: And by “baby,” you mean “daughter’s baby.”
S.Luggo: What about The Bottle, AL?