Wonkette
We pretty much said all we have to say about this asshole yesterday, so today we’ll remember him in pictures. He loved pictures, Reagan did! Especially the moving kind of pictures, the movies! He actually believed movies — including “E.T., the Extra-Terrestrial” — were real events that just happened to be captured on film. He was a complete idiot.
Here’s Ronald Reagan and his boner, looking up at first wife and former Go-Go’s guitarist Jane Wyman’s ass:
And now he’s dead, still. Hooray! But, as America is learning, his death did not and could not undo the incredible damage he did to the United States. So today, spare a thought for the “great communicator,” now rotting in Hell.
This communist never once respected the traditions of the office of president, as proven by this awful gay red t-shirt he’s wearing, at a desk.
Good-bye, Reagan! We’re going to rename all those government buildings soon, for Obama, since you hated the government so much!
Christ, did this country actually name the Washington National Airport for this sonofabitch, the one whose proudest moment was destroying the rights of American Air Traffic Controllers?
T-minus twenty comments and counting before some reagan apologist wags a finger and chastises post/comment thread.
As long as you were willing to share his ideals, Ronnie would obligingly share your warm spot…even in the pool water.
Now we know where Blago got all of his misguided sartorial theories.
Is that really Jane Wyman? Magnificent Obsession, indeed!
Yesterday Terry Gross’ guest on Fresh Air was journalist Will Bunch who wrote the book “Tear Down This Myth”:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=100253947
A good segment on how and why Reagan has been mythologized.
This post is going to be the high point of my daily self-loathing meter, for sure.
Thanx!
Mr. Reagan, Tear Down That Babe’s Swimsuit!
I knew that someone important had a birthday the day after mine, but this was the first year I actually forgot who. But wham, it’s back. As an 80s kid, it seemed important to know the president’s birthday for some reason.
“Ronald Reagan and his boner looking at first wife and former Go-Go’s guitarist Jane Wyman’s ass.”
What could top that or the accompanying alt-text, really?
But I do fancy his swim trunks/girdle. It is nice.
Somebody’s written a book overturning all the wingnut dogma about Reagan: he wasn’t popular (approval ratings in the dumper half the time, he was corrupt (Iran-Contra, pardoning Weinberger), he had no idea what was going (fell asleep at cabinet meetings), he ruined the economy ($4 trillion national debt! Once a big number!). The author was on “Fresh Air” the other day, and even Terry Gross had to give equal time to some Reaganista apologist.
It’s National or DCA, but never ever “Reagan” airport.
Mr Gorbachev, tear down this bathing suit!
chascates: Way ahead of me, and more correct. Oops…
facehead: Nooooooooooooo
Caption: “Captivating Jane Wyman bids brain-dead Illinois hick Ronnie Reagan adieu as she escapes from their stifling, studio-arranged marriage. Ron smiles, clueless as ever — but capable of great waves of small town venality when things eventually are explained to him.”
Wait a minute: E.T. isn’t real?
Then how do you explain the last eight years of the Bush Administration, Mr. Smarty Pants.
(That does, however, look like Presidental Wood in those trunks. Apparently, even a female ass can give a conservative a stiffy.)
Mr. Layne: Tear Down That Ex-President.
He actually believed movies — including “E.T., the Extra-Terrestrial” — were real events that just happened to be captured on film.
Of all the true but almost impossible to believe stories about Raygun this is the scariest. Dementia must have taken hold of his brain a lot earlier than they let on.
chascates: I heard that too. It was a really good interveiw. Even the second guy (The Regan apologist) was basically like, “yeah, alot of his legacy is bullshit, but it’s GOOD bullshit.”
Also, are we going to have a Noonan commentary today? She totally took it to Muhammed Ali. For some reason.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123388255500354969.html
greensprout: MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
As an olive branch, I give you to the following article I found on the huffington post:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/02/05/vladimir-putin-pays-to-fl_n_164509.html
Choice quote: “But revelations that Putin could be a closet ABBA fan run counter to his traditional strongman image.”
meg9:
Happy birthday meg9! I hope all that horoscopey astrological shit isn’t true, because, you know, Reagan was a putz.
Celebrate his birthday? Do I have to? I prefer that other one, you know, the one where he died.
Also. Ken: “Here’s Ronald Reagan and his boner, looking up at first wife and former Go-Go’s guitarist Jane Wyman’s ass.”
Fuck you for making me look at Regan’s package. You know you all did it too.
I pledge to have plaster-wall-shattering, earth-moving, mirror-steaming, neighbor-waking gay buttsecks all day long to celebrate this assbag’s birthday. Just because. Also.
Mommy?
That was the best post that this hobo has read in a long spell.
If only John Hinckley, Jr had put in a few more weeks at target practice.
BTW Ken, if you are trying to persuade us that Reagan was actually worse than Bush, you can forget it. At least Reagan WAS senile, whereas Bush was a straight up dooshtard.
Christ, did this country actually name the Washington National Airport for this sonofabitch
I call it Idiot National. I also suggested the Lebanese should name the Beirut airport after him, in a letter to our local paper. They excised that portion.
Saturday night, my douche bag of a brother-in-law (amazingly he’s an African American post office worker) went off on a rant about why should you have to go all the way back to Lincoln to name a decent Republican President? In his blatherings, he rambled about how great Reagan was — although he was unable to name any outstanding achievement accomplished by the Gipper.
I wanted to say … dude, this is the guy who:
Would have kicked your lazy, white trash mother off of medicaid.
Led to the S&L crisis
Cut the program that paid for your school lunches
Damaged the labor movement
Blah, blah, blah. But hey, my BiL is a sad sort of loser so he’s noth worth engaging.
Above all, we must realize that no arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is so formidable as the snark of free men and women. It is a weapon our adversaries in today’s world do not have.
Atheist Nun:
Too much fapfapfap over Jodie Foster’s photo.
He does look very gay in that shirt. But his desk is too cluttered.
Republicans are never one to let a moment to exploit the dead Alzheimer dude go by:
“The latest schedule for the Conservative Political Action Conference in Washington, D.C. late February: Newt Gingrich hosts a screening of a movie about Ronald Reagan.”
Here’s a linky http://politics.theatlantic.com/2009/02/limbaugh_at_cpac.php
Show some respect for Andrew Card, you old faggot!
Oh jesus h. christ on a popsicle stick that’s funny. Please be pissed off every day all day, Mr. Layne.
If you create an anagram out of “Ronnie Reagan”, it comes back as “A Roaring None”..eh?
Sussemilch: Damn, how many pics of naked Nancy does he need on his desk … I can only assume he put them there to shock him awake when he drifted off during meetings.
Neilist: E.T is Sam Cassell of the Boston Celtics.
Look it up.
Ooo its the writer/producer/director of Star Wars! But that version never got released, me supposes. He was a FISCAL conservative.
V572625694: The creepiest part was that bit about those Reagan legacy folks trying to name something after this fucktaster in every county in America. I get the feeling this retarded canonization is gonna get worse before it gets better.
AWOcoholic: We better have a Dame Peggy sendup. She’s got her claws and fangs showing today, and it isn’t pretty, even when 200 words of substance are padded with 600 words of pure filler.
I love how the Rebuplicans have mythologized this balnd, wooden dialog mumbler to the point that all of their candidates for office must now try to claim his mantle and all of them wind up looking diminished by doing so.
Tip O’Neil once told a story about how he was having a conversation with Reagan and President Grover Cleveland came up. Reagan claimed that he had played him once in the movies. O’Neil, perplexed by what movie he was talking about, checked it out. Reagan had played basebal pitcher Grover Cleveland Alexander in a movie called “The Winning Team.”
Spackle Camshaft Palin: The Ronald Reagan Memorial AIDS Hospice seems fitting.
Cape Clod: Ha ha ha. But in Ronnie’s defense, how many dumbfucks would name their kids Grover Cleveland?
Notice how in the photo with Jane both his arms and legs are depilitated? A republican thing? Is this how repugs try to appeal to young boys?
queeraselvis v 2.0: Spackle Camshaft Palin: When Reagan was preznident I was (for a while) part of the 13% unemployment he presided over. Later during his glory days I had a mortgage at 13.25%. Good times!
Oh ye, of little faith. Do you not understand that believing something is true makes it true? This is the heart of the Republican credo. Blessed are the pure of heart and the empty of mind.
Only tourists and wingnuts call it “Reagan National”.
V572625694: My partner bought his first house for 13.25%, so yea. And the only reason I missed unemployment straight outta college was my getting a job working for a lawyer who refused to pay me more than $6.67/hour.
I cry inside my heart for my country whenever I thing of this evil evil evil man. The air traffic controllers were just the beginning. He screwed the United States and then patted himself on the back. Evil disgusting vile pig.
And now he’s dead, still.
Or is he? Duhn dunh duhn!
Reagan gave a clever stump speech once, back in the mid-Sixties, and some Republicans never really got over it. John McCain is only the most recent example.
AWOcoholic: Perhaps I should worry. I spared Reagan’s shorts not a glance, but was quite taken with Jane Wyman’s waist and other curves. Hmmm … perhaps I’m a Tactile and Aural Heterosexual but a Visual Lesbian.
Cape Clod: I miss Tip. Think of the material we would have here with him still around.
John Wayne was a f*g.
thanks for giving us the shitty policies that started the economy on this path to hell, you asshat.
AWOcoholic: hahahahahahahahahahahaha…!
Ronny happy 98 birthday; may your eternity in hell be joyous and clear minded to see your shamefulness and intentional negative moral acts and thoughts that were cruel, unjust and selfish on society… Rememberng the 11,345 air traffic controllers you fired in 1982 and took their families dreams away…burn in hell Ronnie…
Fly Over Girl: Don’t forget “strongly supported the apartheid government in S. Africa.”
It’s Bedtime for Bonzo all over again.
psilage: Lots of guys like to watch their buddies fuck.
My cousin was one of those air traffic controllers. He became an alcoholic and died of liver cancer. So I feel complete freedom to hate Ronald Reagan infinitely. Thanks for reminding me to spend some time today doing just that.
Atheist Nun: Hinckley was a plant. The idea that an untrained gunman who also happened to be batshit crazy could fire off a bullet that would ricochet off a car and miss the intended target’s heart by mere centimeters is ludicrous. As to why “they” would stage Ronnie’s near-assassination, all I can think of is that it must have been the only way to make him popular.
One of my favorite Reaganisms is when he told Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Shamir that he was with a camera unit that went into a recently liberated concentration camp and filmed the conditions there. He apparently believed it even though he never left the states during the war, serving mainly in Culver City, California.
Everyone should try to get a copy of Mark Green’s “Reagan’s Reign of Error” to read to their children, grandchildren, and anyone in earshot to make sure we can put a halt to this nonsense before he’s canonized. Some years ago some wingnuts even proposed adding him to Mount Rushmore.
I’ve heard that Jane and Ronnie divorced because she found it difficult to gaze upon him lovingly in publicity photos.
I’ve also heard that Nancy Davis was queen of the B’s in Hollywood. ‘B’ not for the movies, but for the blowjobs she administered to get into said movies.
lazynamepicker: You are welcome, and I have those same friends that picked up the tools and worked with me on the Seabrook Nuke plant, in New Hampshire… It was ashame that Hickley didn’t use a bigger gun and took lessons….
Pat Pending: I believe Peter Lawford once said she gave the best head in Hollywood.
I was in first grade when Reagan was first Inaugurated and even I, as a 6 year old, thought it was suspicious that the hostages were freed at the exact same goddamn time. I even made a song to it to the tune of “The Farmer in the Dell.”
My other favorite Reagan story is from one of Dr. Oliver Sacks’ books about how in the TV room in a mental hospital was filled with patients laughing like hell at a Reagan press conference because…
(wikipedia) “Sacks claims their laughter to be at the president’s facial expressions and tone, which he claims they find “not genuine.” One woman…criticizes the structure of the president’s sentences, stating that he “does not speak good prose.”(/wikipedia)
Fixed!
http://heylookhear.com/Image/reagan
What did he do for Iran, gave them weapons for money and broke the law and we now have Oly North working for Faux noise….A Repub administration stemming from the use of proceeds from covert arms sales to Iran to fund the Contras in Nicaragua, which had been specifically outlawed by an act of Congress. The Iran-Contra affair became the largest political scandal of the 80’s…
i propose the establishment of a National Half-Dead Republican President Burial Canal, preferably in New Orleans…
i wanna see if Reagan’s corpse still floats after the many Republican attempts at re-animation…
on the other hand, i feel sure the results of the test would be debatable given that it was impossible to remove the inflatable butt-plug from Reagan’s mouth at the presumed time of death….
still, it would make for a pleasant family outing…and is by far the the best way i can think of to make sure he’s still dead..
seeing as how i’m suggesting this new memorial for the city of New Orleans, i think new dish commemorating the occasion is in order…
i’ll just throw out a possible name: Cochon Ballonne avec Sauce au Colère?
A young English friend asked why we only had dead people on our money. Why not make some different money? (And color-coded, of course, something foreigners are always whining about) and I told him just to let it go. If we redid money, the fucking Republicans would put fuckface on everything.
How can these people revere someone so pathetically far along in his Alzheimer’s that he thought he was in WWII because he once made a crappy movie about it?
Dean Booth: Awesome! Please work on the ‘Cheney in a wheelchair’ photo next.
I love you, Ken Layne. I loathe “St. Ronnie.”
Ronnie was the right man for the times.
The thoroughtly rotten USSR was about to
crumble under the weight of all its
insane contridictions, when Ronnie sold
americans on the notion that we had to
rebuild a HUGE war machine against them.
By design or just dumb Irish luck, their
economy broke before ours did — you know,
back when most of OUR national debt was
actually OWNED by Americans, rather than
Arabs and Chinese.
This is what we haven’t figured out about Ronnie:
is he the John Wayne character or Jimmie Stewart
character in the movie “The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance”:
the guy who knew what had to be done and did it,
or some schmuck who just happened to be there
where the deal went down ?
I’ll be damned if ANY of us will EVER know.
I always discounted that “luck of the Irish” shit,
but I’m looking for some damn Irish friends, soon.
Servo: Should he be wearing one of those “EX-MASTURBATOR” tee-shirts that jesus likes?
DeLand DeLakes: Cool, cool… I’ll meet you over in Krazee Konspiracy Korner as soon as I get a copy of Obama’s Kenya birth certificate and a DNA sample of the extraterrestrial space alien jizz they found on Monica Lewinski’s blue dress…
Atheist Nun: Kan we do the Krazy Konspiracy Krossword?!?!
DeLand DeLakes: Normally I would, but I used it to line my bird’s cage. He’s an old, demented, ill-tempered cockatiel that plucks the feathers out of his own ass and repeats random phrases he hears coming from the retirement home next door. I named him “Alex Jones.”
I live in DC and REFUSE to call that airport Regan National. It will always be just National Airport to me.
Why was it even named in memorial of Reagan when Reagan hadn’t even kicked the bucket yet?
Oh thank god! I thought I was the only one who hates that fucker.
didn’t reagan have to blow guys to get into movies?
Ronnie Dobbs: Is there any other way to get into movies?
Let’s not forget the damage he did while governor of California. I was a student in the UC system while he was governor … it started going downhill during his tenure. We’re still dealing with the aftereffects of his policies.
queeraselvis v 2.0: It is very messed up that most people are not old enough to know there was no widespread American homelessness before Reagan. Yay!
Ronnie Dobbs: Depends on what you mean by “have to.”
Ahh PATCO, that brings back memories. I must say the erudite and concise editorial diatribe forgot one very salient statement that the ever prolific scrivener forgot to include, FOCK REAGAN AND THE HORSE HE RODE IN AND OUT ON. No apologies to Nancy Reagan or her focking astrologic arse.