HA HA, god bless the Boston Phoenix for posting these snippets from the book-on-tape version of Dreams From My Father, in which Barack Obama impersonates the voice of his vulgar friend, “Ray.” Our favorite is “You ain’t my bitch, nigga! Buy your own damn fries!” The clearest proof so far that he is a muslin. [Boston Phoenix via Alex Balk]

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  1. Ah, you brought back the ‘primaries photo.’

    Also I dunno if the link is down, or if Google Chrome dropped out of high school, but only the Balk link works for me.

  2. My favorite part is where he discusses what he would do on his first day as president:

    From this day on, the official language of America will be Swedish. Silence! In addition to that, all citizens will be required to change their underwear every half-hour. Underwear will be worn on the outside so we can check. Furthermore, all children under 16 years old are now… 16 years old!

  3. OMG!!!! HE SAID “B” AND “N”!!!

    1. I can’t wait for the Republicans to use this in the 2012 campaign.
    2. I love how even when he is trying to talk sassy he still sounds like the head knight of the Math Club (aka: A NERD).

  4. He totally Baracks it at the end. He’s about to go off into southside Chicago streetspeak and then totally pulls back into reassuring Presidential baritone on “your own damn fries.”

  5. …wait a second! Bitches are dogs, some dogs are Pit-Bulls, some Pit-Bulls wear lipstick and Sarah Palin is a Pit-bull with lipstick! Why is Barack Obama calling Sarah Palin a Bitch?

    Just a little forecast of the Sean Hannity show tomorrow.

  6. First-time memoirist Mr. Obama deftly captures the nuances of the negro “street” argot in this engaging audio-book, essaying the vernacular of the roguish character “Ray” so menacingly that this reviewer leapt from her divan upon first hearing and drew her living room curtains, before mixing herself a strong drink to calm her frayed nerves. 4 stars.

  7. We need to move swiftly and sign stimulus plan…. GOSHHHHH, dont you hear the best economist say that we need to stimulate the economy or another 500 million fellow American are going to loose their Jobs….. (ps ps … Mr. Barry is not 500 million … is only another 500) oh oh .. I mean 500 fellow American are going to loose their Jobs. Anyhow we need to start to do sacrifices and think BIG…. lets put people to work.

    All I’m saying this plan need to ….???? what I was saying ????

  8. [re=237624]skutre[/re]: I’d rather see Bale vs. Rahm Emanuel. Now that the Joker’s dead, maybe Rahm could pop up as the villain in the next Batman flick. “9-Fingered Ned” or something. His powers would include kicking Harry Reid in the ass and being a basement goblin.

  9. [re=237574]skutre[/re]: I like the way the word motherfucker rolled off his tongue with an almost Bernie Mac-esque ease. The rest of his performance, however, left a lot to be desired.

    It seems the vetting over whether Obama was “black enough” was inadequate.

  10. REALLY? He’s a “muslin.” A cotton fabric that designers use to drape for making dresses, etc. Wow. That’s genius. So is our president going to be on Project Runway? Gah.

  11. Are we not following the Andrew Card White House dress code bullshit story, which just totally blew up in his face cause he was stone cold lying his ass off, as usual? Photos of guys in shirts on Huffpo.

    Also, buy your own goddamned trucknutz. Also.

  12. Fuck you, Barry. I’m out of smokes and my husband took the car. So thank you very much, I have no way to get to the store to get smokes, so again, fuck you Barry and all of you at Wonkette. The End.

  13. [re=237715]jilly[/re]: For that you should receive 3 whore diamonds and a Space Oscar.

    [re=237710]Jim Newell[/re]:
    Heal The World

    Make It A Better Place
    For You And For Me
    And The Entire Human Race
    There Are People Dying
    If You Care Enough
    For The Living
    Make A Better Place
    For You And For Me

  14. [re=237726]ddukbokki[/re]: Hey, that would be depressing. Except he’s achieved a modicum of fame vicariously through President Obama! Therefore he’s more successful than me or you, despite living the life of what might be euphamistically called an involuntary freegan.

    “You ain’t my bitch, nigga; buy yo’ own damn fries!” Lulz!

  15. “You ain’t my bitch, nigga; buy yo’ own damn fries!” is the new ringtone for when my man calls me. I’m saving “Sorry-ass motherfucker” for Moms.

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