• May 26, 2012

Meet Obama’s Sexy New Porn Lawyer

by Jim Newell  

Barry Obama’s pick for Deputy Attorney General, David Ogden, apparently “coasted” through his Senate hearing today, which is great news…for John McCain! FOR PORNOGRAPHERS. You see, Ogden’s appointment has come under much wingnut scrutiny in the last several days because Ogden (bless his soul) has served as a successful lawyer for Big Porn, including Playboy and, uh, The Internet Porn Company. He even secured the right of blind people to masturbate to braille-porn (“The Second Amendment”).

Fox News opened a recent Ogden article with this: “Senators might want to hold David Ogden’s confirmation hearing after the kids go to bed.” Because Ogden may try to molest them!

Fox adds:

One of Ogden’s triumphs came in 1986, when he argued against the Library of Congress’ decision to stop publishing Braille editions of Playboy magazine.

He won, on behalf of the the American Council for the Blind, Playboy and other plaintiffs.

Afterward he was quoted as saying he hopes the decision doesn’t create a burden but “that’s the price of violating people’s First Amendment rights.”

Ogden also represented Playboy two decades ago in pushing for the federal court to stop then-Attorney General Edwin Meese from releasing a “black list” of distributors of allegedly pornographic content. He won that as well.

Ogden frequently represented clients, not all of them nudie-magazines, who challenged what they saw as censorship and unconstitutional restrictions.

Did they just write “nudie-magazine” in their article?

For instance, he once filed a brief on behalf of a group of library directors arguing against the Children’s Internet Protection Act. The act ordered libraries and schools receiving funding for the Internet to restrict access to obscene sites. But Ogden’s brief argued that the act impaired the ability of librarians to do their jobs. He called it “unconstitutional,” though the Supreme Court later disagreed with him and upheld the act.

Yeah for chrissake, can’t a librarian get off at work anymore? What is this, FINLAND?

Nevertheless, Ogden made the wingnuts spew the typical fire, from their anuses:

“Ogden has been an activist in the support of a right to pornography, a right of abortion and the rights of homosexuals,” said Patrick Trueman, a former Justice Department official during the first Bush presidency who is now in private practice.

Pornography = abortion = queers, is what he’s trying to say. Huh?

Obama Justice Nominee Used To Represent Playboy [Fox News]
Ogden “Coasts” Through Confirmation Hearing [WP]
Christian right challenges Obama’s Justice picks [AP]

{ 51 comments }

actor212 February 5, 2009 at 1:59 pm

Braille porn….mmmmmmmmmmmmmm…

And what you got against FINLAND, Jim????

chascates February 5, 2009 at 2:00 pm

Hey, they had there faith-based bible-thumpin’ justice department. Now we get our deviated preverted masturbating pornographers!
It’s our due.

qwerty42 February 5, 2009 at 2:00 pm

“nudie-magazine”
what is this, 1945? Did they refer to “Kilroy was here” as well?

AnnieGetYourFun February 5, 2009 at 2:01 pm

Wow. That’s… I’m in love.

quoth teh Raven February 5, 2009 at 2:02 pm

What a fucktard. Fighting for rights and porn and teh gayz.

Oh, wait…

WhatTheHeck February 5, 2009 at 2:02 pm

But would he defend seeing-eye dogs to view porn on behalf of their blind masters?

Serolf Divad February 5, 2009 at 2:03 pm

I’m kinda thinking a braille version of Penthouse Forum would be more useful. Because seriously, strip the pictures from Playboy and what have you got? You’ve got The Saturday Evening Post, that’s what you’ve got. And I guarantee you, no embarrassed salesman has ever looked up from the copy of Penthouse Forum that slipped out of his briefcase while he was scrounging for a product brochure and exclaimed “I only read Penthouse Forum for the articles.”

gjdodger February 5, 2009 at 2:03 pm

I thought David Ogden was great as Major Winchester on M*A*S*H

hockeymom February 5, 2009 at 2:04 pm

Sounds like a perfect candidate for any future openings on the Supreme Court.

Iggy Plop February 5, 2009 at 2:05 pm

The ability to severely annoy and agitate any political appointee from the Bush Justice Department has to be a serious asset for the job. Plus he’s bound to have some interesting reading material on the table in the waiting area outside his office.

bitchincamaro February 5, 2009 at 2:06 pm

But has Governor Paterson endorsed him yet?

lazyb February 5, 2009 at 2:07 pm

Hooray! I will now send my toddler to the library to enjoy some internet porn while I enjoy a celebratory gay abortion!

Come here a minute February 5, 2009 at 2:07 pm

In FINLAND the librarians are required to masturbate at work.

Delicious February 5, 2009 at 2:07 pm

Rise, Porn Nation!

bitchincamaro February 5, 2009 at 2:08 pm

P.S.: And he’s already wearing glasses. So’s the geek on the right.

FMA February 5, 2009 at 2:09 pm

[re=236889]Iggy Plop[/re]: Oh, I’m sure the graduates of Pat Robertson’s School of Law and Hair Design won’t have any problems at all with their new boss.

AngryBlakGuy February 5, 2009 at 2:09 pm

::..:.:::::..:.:.:…:::

Mr Blifil February 5, 2009 at 2:09 pm

Still as pointed out in another thread, the Down’s Syndrome community is still grossly underserved in terms of ready access to porn.

Atheist Nun February 5, 2009 at 2:09 pm

Dear Penthouse,
I never thought it would happen to me, but today, while attending a Senate hearing, I was approached by a beautiful busty beauty with 44 DDD honkers! (etc.)

AngryBlakGuy February 5, 2009 at 2:11 pm

…who would’ve figured that Harry Potter would grow up to be a porn lawyer?!

SayItWithWookies February 5, 2009 at 2:16 pm

If the Republicans give it a shot, some of them might even like this consensual-sex-between-adults thing.

Dog Trombone February 5, 2009 at 2:17 pm

[re=236900]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: You crack me up!

Kwame' February 5, 2009 at 2:17 pm

Is the braille porn is only for the articles, or is it a “Pat The Bunny” type of thing?

shnazzer February 5, 2009 at 2:17 pm

i love the purple dress he’s wearing though. tasteful, but with a touch of flair.

Harvey Birdman February 5, 2009 at 2:22 pm

Anyone remember those “Meese Is A Pig” signs that were all over D.C. back in 1988?

Crazybroad February 5, 2009 at 2:23 pm

Damn that evil ACLU and them evil plaintiff’s lawyers defending the Constitution and whatnot. We are all doomed to liberty with libruls like evil Ogden at the helm. God help us. I’m just gonna move to Texas…

Manofsteel February 5, 2009 at 2:30 pm

Well, as a homosexual, I know *I* only perform abortions in front of a TV playing dirty, dirty porn.

Dreamer February 5, 2009 at 2:37 pm

By these appointments Obama is trying to make Monica Goodling’s life a living hell. DOJ hired the official she fired for being a lesbian and now this.

AngryBlakGuy February 5, 2009 at 2:40 pm

[re=236957]Manofsteel[/re]: …personally, I prefer to do my abortions on an American flag in a Baptist church while having anal sex with a blond hair, blue eyed 18 year old cheerleader from the bible belt! But then again I’m a little on the conservative side.

Josh Fruhlinger February 5, 2009 at 2:42 pm

That picture is actually the opening scene to a porn film catering to those with VERY specific tastes.

CivicHoliday February 5, 2009 at 2:48 pm

I bet braille porn is awesome. Skip the descriptions (they can’t see anyway! what do they care if the bunny is 5’9″ with blond hair, blue eyes and a 24 inch waist?) and go right to the good stuff – heat and moisture and throbbing members. Maybe throw in a seeing-eye dog now and again for a little spice.

Norbert February 5, 2009 at 2:50 pm

In Soviet Finland, librarians get YOU off!

does that photo remind anyone of the Onion’s “littlest senator”? god bless.

here: http://www.theonion.com/content/news/deciding_vote_on_wetlands (scroll down a bit)

[re=236900]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: whew! steamy stuff!

Doglessliberal February 5, 2009 at 2:53 pm

[re=236971]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: damn, THAT is multitasking, though I’d be more impressed if you were simultaneously performing gay marriages.

Tommmcatt February 5, 2009 at 2:55 pm

[re=236973]Josh Fruhlinger[/re]:

Men who have been in prison for the past 40 years and very, very, very self-loathing homosexuals, I assume.

Joshua Norton February 5, 2009 at 2:57 pm

With thanks to Monty Python:

I’m a wingnut and I’m okay;
Have sex all night and preach all day.
For real with men, for show with gals;
but what the hey, we’re all GOD’S pals!

Everybody sing!

BigDupa February 5, 2009 at 2:57 pm

Does this mean we can finally see those nice statue titties at the Justice Department that Ashcroft had draped? Maybe for payback, they can hang a monitor perpetually tuned to KVOA in Tucson, home of the free porn plus a Hamilton– watch early and often!

bitchincamaro February 5, 2009 at 2:59 pm

[re=236900]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Still gibberish, no matter how you type it. Who loves ya’, baby?

Joey Ratz February 5, 2009 at 3:04 pm

“Ogden has been an activist in the support of a right to pornography, a right of abortion and the rights of homosexuals,” said Patrick Trueman, a former Justice Department official during the first Bush presidency who is now in private practice.

Which is why he has a job now and you don’t, dipshit. Hiring guys who could pull off victories like that is called meritocracy. Look it up.

Deepthroat February 5, 2009 at 3:12 pm

WON’T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!?!1!

Doglessliberal February 5, 2009 at 3:17 pm

[re=237037]Deepthroat[/re]: that’s the job of Republican elected officials. And then they get arrested, and find god, etc etc

Deepthroat February 5, 2009 at 3:21 pm

Dogless: That is the best answer possible.

V572625694 February 5, 2009 at 3:23 pm

Since I used to volunteer for Recording for the Blind, I happen to know what Braille porn looks like. It’s not just little bumps to look simulate letters. They actually mold the paper into the shape of the globular boobs and butts of the ladies, and the blind “readers” just fondle them, even the scars from their boob jobs. That’s why mail for blind people is free: one issue of Playboy is three feet thick.

maven February 5, 2009 at 4:38 pm

I like the recurrence of the new right wing theme at the end of the report:

“This is left-wing politicization of the Justice Department. This is not a Justice Department that looks like America.”

Because while the rabble of “fake America” voted a certain way, we all know that the “real America” is that “base” energized by Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh, etc. (i.e., the “base element”) that “looks like” America (and you know what they mean by that).

assistant/atlas February 5, 2009 at 4:45 pm

[re=237061]V572625694[/re]: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa. Also. Whoa. Blind people get free mail??

Dammit, between this and the government cheese thing, I’m starting to think our government is actually not evil.

Also. Do you think if I fake glaucoma I could get a marijuana prescription and free mail?

you cannot be serious February 5, 2009 at 6:09 pm

[re=236971]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Ah, so you’re a Saddlebacker.

nosuppertonight.com February 5, 2009 at 11:24 pm

“Ogden was quoted at the time saying the potential reach of the law was `mind-boggling’ and even `terrifying.’”

He sounds like Cheney. Except that he doesn’t smile and lick his chops when he says it.

http://www.nosuppertonight.com

Trace February 6, 2009 at 3:16 am

The American Patria– Family Association sent me an urgent email about this. I think the headline was “Obama taps porn lawyer” which made me smile.

Also, the thought of them screeching and believing the sky is falling (and wondering what the fuck is taking Jesus so long to pick them up and save them from this horror) makes me smile, as well.

Captain Swing February 6, 2009 at 7:27 am

Yeah, this has to be of serious concern to teh Wingnuts. I mean, a lawyer who believes that The Constitution should be defended,not shredded.

This CANNOT stand!

He is clearly not a real American.

sanantonerose February 6, 2009 at 4:09 pm

Impairing our ability to do our jobs? That’s right! Because one of our jobs is to faux harass porn-viewing patrons if other patrons get upset over the other patrons porn-viewing. Thanks for the job security, David Ogden!

MrsNateSilver February 7, 2009 at 10:15 am

I’m at work here in the library and the idea of doing anything remotely lascivious in nature in this pit totally grosses me out. But for reals, that “Protection Act” made some very valid internet sites “off limits”. It was ridicles. Like covering up Lady Justice with a drape.

Bruno February 8, 2009 at 6:18 pm

The correct spelling is of course “Noodie” Magazine

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