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AMERICAN ECONOMY FIXED

Cable Companies Pay YOU To Watch Porn

Wardrobe malfunction!Finally, a stimulus bill we can believe in: Cable-teevee company Comcast will pay TEN DOLLARS to each Tucson subscriber who maybe saw a few seconds of sexytime hardcore XXX pr0nography just when something important was happening in the Super Bowl game. If you saw some terrible naked man-lady fuckin’ when you expected to see good old-fashioned obese helmeted men slapping each others’ asses before actually killing each other, for America, Comcast says “sorry” and $10 will soon be in the mail, maybe. [Multichannel]


3:58 AM on Thu February 5 2009
By Ken Layne
1395 Views

  1. dasNeonlicht says at 4:40 am, February 5th, 2009

    Milk and cookies keep you awake, Ken?

  2. This is just another example of pay for play politics!

  3. StoneAge says at 5:14 am, February 5th, 2009

    Today we are all porn watchers.

  4. hobospacejungle says at 5:27 am, February 5th, 2009

    I’m watching early morning MSNBC and they’ve got a story about a Down’s Syndrome kid making 3-pointers for his high school basketball team. Without the sound it looks like everyone’s mocking him. “Yay, the retard made a basket! Let us cheer wildly and cry. This totally makes up for all the horrible things we’ve done in our lives.!”

    I’ll be he’s never seen porn. CAN’T WE HELP THE DOWN’S SYNDROME KIDS SEE PORN? WHAT KIND OF SOCIETY ARE WE THAT DENIES PORN TO DOWN’S SYNDROME KIDS?

  5. BobLoblawLawBlog says at 6:17 am, February 5th, 2009

    Best. Stimulus. Idea. Ever.

    And what the GOP counter? Only if the man in question was underage, cause once they hit puberty seeing their wangs is no longer sexual? Especially if touched by a *shudder* woman?

  6. Darehead says at 6:49 am, February 5th, 2009

    Occasionally I am walking down the street and someone offers to pay me to watch porn with him.

  7. BobLoblawLawBlog says at 7:03 am, February 5th, 2009

    In Soviet United States, porn channel pay you!

  8. Cape Clod says at 7:05 am, February 5th, 2009

    I watched a few seconds of ‘American Idol’ recently. I feel like I should be compensated for that.

  9. Colander says at 7:08 am, February 5th, 2009

    Ken, did you have a meatball and peppers sandwich before going to bed at a reasonable hour? But then you had a nightmare that you were on the Cosby Show, and a bunch of Jim Henson creations involved you in an abstract plotline involving Rudy and Raven Simone, and it kept you up, and you typed ‘$10 pron’ into the google latitudes, and then this came up?

    I’m just asking.

  10. splittter says at 7:11 am, February 5th, 2009

    I watch a lot of porn so I will soon be rich, and with the money I intend to buy even more porn

  11. shanemacgowan says at 7:35 am, February 5th, 2009

    “Comcast Tucson receives the KVOA feed through an arrangement with Cox Communications.”

    I think we’ve located the source of the full frontal male nudity.

  12. orbit222 says at 7:36 am, February 5th, 2009

    Stimulus I can get behind. behind.

  13. ManchuCandidate says at 8:30 am, February 5th, 2009

    Having seen the clip, I think that it works out to a buck an inch.

    Comcast should be thankful that it wasn’t John Holmes.

  14. loquaciousmusic says at 8:37 am, February 5th, 2009

    Is this Barack’s way of telling us that Lexington Steele is about to be named Chairman of the FCC?

  15. That is alot of money that can now go to Ms. Palin’s PAC.

  16. loquaciousmusic:

    Or mayor of Bridgeport

  17. loquaciousmusic says at 8:47 am, February 5th, 2009

    Rush: I wish! Bridgeport’s current mayor has no acting experience whatsoever.

  18. WagTehGod says at 8:58 am, February 5th, 2009

    So because I watch a lot of porn that means I’m upper class now?

  19. Rather than direct payment, Mitch McConnell wants tax incentives to watch porn.

  20. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 9:31 am, February 5th, 2009

    Dear Editors:

    As a faithful reader, I must let you know that the only thing that has been more disappointing than the web site linked to the text “hardcore XXX pr0nography” was the web site linked to the text “naked man-lady fuckin’.” Please be more careful in the future. I expect much more from you.

    BobLoblawLawBlog: The GOP is upset that their idea to stimulate the economy by tax cuts for young boys in gay porn was totally ignored by Obama.

  21. A friend out there who saw it, while watching at someone else’s house, says her hosts are under the impression that the $10 is vaguely (or maybe not) tied to a promise not to sue. Just in case they were forever emotionally scarred over what they saw.

  22. Mr Blifil says at 9:55 am, February 5th, 2009

    Shit, if I had $10 for every 30 seconds of porn I encountered…

  23. A few seconds of value compared to three hours of mindless television?

  24. BruceLee5000 says at 9:58 am, February 5th, 2009

    Does anyone have a link to YouTube that shows this infraction? Wasn’t ANYONE with a computer in Tuscon recording the superbowl?!

  25. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 10:05 am, February 5th, 2009

    You know, I saw Sean Hannity interviewing Rush Limbaugh on Fox News, which is basically the total opposite of porn. That is surely worth $20.

  26. BruceLee5000: Fleshbot had it up, I would give you the link but I’m at work and the bossy no likey pr0n.

  27. masterdebater says at 10:55 am, February 5th, 2009

    Being paid because you got to watch people fuck…Only in America! The greatest country in the whole wide world! Most folks have to PAY to watch people fucking, but not here. Top THAT you commie bastards!

  28. Mr Blifil says at 11:02 am, February 5th, 2009

    Insert stimulus plan joke.

    Hah. I said “insert.”

  29. shortsshortsshorts says at 11:24 am, February 5th, 2009

    Mr Blifil: Haha you said “Stimulus.”

  30. actor212 says at 11:26 am, February 5th, 2009

    Paid to watch porn?

    DREAM COME TRUE!!!!!

    Did I spell that right?

  31. Jukesgrrl says at 1:21 pm, February 5th, 2009

    ella: My 82-year-old mother saw it and I think I might end of having to pay Comcast. She hasn’t been this animated since 1975. No jury would ever say she was harmed.

  32. PerhapsSo says at 1:40 pm, February 5th, 2009

    I looked it up on the internet after the fact. Can I get a check, too?

    Oh, well, at least the parents will get a big $10 check. Don’t spend it all in one place, folks.

  33. Notice how these smexy “accidents” keep happening at the Super Bowl? By the time we reach Super Bowl XXXVREKUII the halftime show will be an on-field orgy by everyone attending the game, and at the end of the game, the losing team will be stripped and decapitated. Pay per view.

  34. AnnieGetYourFun says at 2:49 pm, February 5th, 2009

    Lionel Hutz Esq.: Just thinking about that has killed my sexual appetite for at least the next three days.

  35. you cannot be serious says at 4:00 pm, February 5th, 2009

    BruceLee5000: Here it is Bruce Lee. It’s a real thigh-slapper.

  36. you cannot be serious says at 4:00 pm, February 5th, 2009
  37. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 5:49 pm, February 5th, 2009

    AnnieGetYourFun: Exactly. $20!

  38. DJPerezMA says at 6:47 pm, February 5th, 2009
  39. NoNewKidontheBlock says at 10:20 pm, February 5th, 2009

    What tha Fu!@#$%^…. is this true….wow sign me in !!! Show me tha money …I’ll do it all day long for 10 bucks - Now I can afford coronas and diritos

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