Wonkette
And it is a very nice work of art from Vladimir Putin, too! He painted a portrait of a beautiful, smiling woman, seen just to the right of that auction hall window in this photograph. [Telegraph]
WEIRD
Is it on velvet?
I’d like to suggest a little more shadow to her breasts, to give the illusion of fullness.
Pitiless iron-fisted dictator was definitely the right choice, Vladimir.
Wait what? Putin= artistic girlyman?
Next will see Bush reciting the alphabet.
Putin tries so hard to fit the bill for Bond villain, what with the Judo and the tiger-owning and the smirking empty threats, but then he gets his messages crossed and thinks he’s trying to be a Batman villain, where the quirks are weird and excessive instead of just menacing, and he goes and makes a fruity painting
Is that girl wearing a plastic shopping bag?
The commie acronym at the bottom stands for “Bring Your Own Poop”.
Very daring art for a world leader.
That’s a lot of money for a Russian bride.
It looks like he painted a girl’s head on top of a bottle of Jack Daniels… whatever floats your boat, I guess.
Is that girl wearing tits?
I still want to yoop on her.
Shit I could have painted that while rotting in a Gulag.
It represents a window in Russia where you can see Alaska.
ph7: Damn. I thought we were broke. These commies can’t even afford nipples.
He is now entering the Kim Jong-Il area of meglomania.
El Pinche: I LOLed at that.
It’s a rustic painting of the plate glass window he threw his mother through.
She’s a flat-chested comrade, sure.
But I bet she goes down faster than the K-141 Kursk!
DIVE! DIVE!
…when I looked at Putin’s painting I saw 3 letters: K! G! B!
The Telegraph’s art critic is snarky. I has a sad.
He stayed in between the lines real good.
Canmon (the Inadequate): Kim Jong-il would have painted something more in the style of Vermeer, while he was playing golf and making all holes-in-one.
Atheist Nun:
When I look at Putin’s painting, I see his soul.
I can see Palin from that window.
NoWireHangers: It’s the view his exiled enemies take in from their rustic little hut in Siberia. The lucky ones, that is.
I don’t know about the painting, but that seems like a brilliant piece of writing, like something a clever, sarcastic, closet abstractionist might have written about Socialist Realism during the Chinese Cultural Revolution. At least I hope it is.
“…cold and darkness beyond” indeed.
Is that painting like… crooked?
It’s sad. It’s a representation of his favorite boyhood spot within his Grandparents’ dacha, from the point of view of a more jaded person, upon whom time’s tricks have left scars and blisters, who then ordered every remnant of his childhood razed and bulldozed.
Saddam Hussein had multiple best selling books and look at what happened to him.
wait a few years. it’ll be worth a shitload according to Antiques Roadshow!
I like clowns. Sad crying clowns. Can Putan paint clowns? No? I thought so.
rocktonsammy:
Better than Georgie, I bet…
It’s been stuck with magnets to his mom’s fridge for 50 years now, so why not?
It’s not even in English!
It says “poop” in Russian.
Unless the writer is being sarcastic, that article is just another reason why we must kill all art curators.
Airish: I think it says “Goop” in English and it is actually to promote Gwyneth Paltrow’s newsletter.
That looks like a a 6 year old’s fingerpainting. Does Putin think the UN Security Council is going to stick that up on its refrigerator with a magnet or something?
Here’s a gold star, little buddy!
Just another reason why Windows (TM) sucks.
Putin’s facial expression in the source article is a mixture of smugness and the knowledge that he didn’t paint shit.
Putin just reared his head in Alaskan airspace and said he’d donate his boobs to the art chick.
“He painted a portrait of a beautiful, smiling woman, seen just to the right of that auction hall window”
HAHAHAHA
*cough* Bribery disguised as art *cough*
Meanwhile, the Associated fucking Press is demanding credit for Shepard Fairey’s “Hopey In Red & Blue” painting because he based it off of one of their photos. Fuck you, AP, it’s called Fair Use, and if you and your reporters understood it, we’d all have to take a lot less crap from studios and media companies.
/rant
Monsieur Grumpe: thanks for that. i’ll be sleeping with the light on tonight.
I have a feeling that picture was painted by slave labour or a prisoner in Gulag. Putin is the only individual in the world that is creepier than Cheney.
Okay, now I’m disturbed. The word under the window is “УЗОР” - “pattern.” Except there is anothere word painted over underneath, and I can’t tell what that is. Oh, and there’s a random letter “У” at the top right hand corner of the frame.
OMG racecar bling bling.
tunamelt: I think it says “Goop” in English and it is actually to promote Gwyneth Paltrow’s newsletter.
Thanks for that. And by thanks I mean WTF? That is some seriously stupid and pathetic crap proving that extremely rich people have waaaaay too much time on their hands. STFU Gwyneth. Jesus fucking christ on a popsicle stick. Also.
So what does Putin have against capitalism, again?
The title of the painting:
1. Pretty Gravestones Of Conquered Jews And Ukrainians.
2. Views of Anchorage From My Porch in Smolinsk.
3. Scenes From The Windows Of Your Secret Gulag.
4. Video Poker, Russian-style.
5. Buy This. Now. Today. Da?
$1.5 mil? I’ll give you $20 for that. But why’s she holding that silly painting?
mattbolt: In Russia, that’s called a female condom.
Airish: It actually is the common Russian acronym for “I think grandpa has fallen down outside somewhere and frozen to death”
It’s a magic window to the snowy snowy night world of knocked-off journalists.
Wow, he can’t paint worth shit. Oh wait, maybe that’s moderrrrrrrrn art? In which case, he can’t paint worth shit but will get paid $1.5 mil for it anyway.
Wait, is that a happy cloud?
The painting is holding the woman upside-down. She’s actually frowning.
What, Russian dogs don’t play poker?
L.H.O.O.Q.
Qua?
(Duchamp whimpers in his grave)
rocktonsammy: They do, but they never win against Pooty, and then are killed.
BTW: GWB has a similar artistic rendering available on E-Bay. “Falling Off My Bike Midst The Brush of Crawford As Dick Declares War on Iraqistan.”
Numbered print: $5.95.
Original: $2.99.
4 whore diamonds. My final offer.
DAMN! My eyes! Thanks for not linking to full photo of Russian Beauties:
http://news.yahoo.com/nphotos/slideshow/photo//090118/ids_photos_wl/r1350796783.jpg/#photoViewer=/090114/481/695ed4c126c54f6cb29065b828e05759
Snaggletooth on the left is saying “I am here to suck your blooood.”
Hawtie on right is like “ORLY?”
With remarkable economy he contrasts the warmth, light, and gaiety of the interior with the cold and darkness beyond.
Unfortunately, Putin’s into the beyond part.
MGBYG: Or perhaps Roy Lichtenstein.
http://www.imagekind.com/art/Pop_Art/pop_art.jpg
Pooty is so behind the New York scene, Russia will never be admitted to NATO.
Russian brides are really going at a premium these days, huh? I mean JEEBUS with oil prices going down so much that painting should be worth far less then the transsexual holding it.
Putin always wondered how much he could sell one of his own paintings for at auction. Well, now he found out, so he’ll be taking back the painting and poisoning the buyer if she puts up a fight.
i would like to see rahm’s Art.
ladymacbeth: Ooh! Nine-and-a-half-fingerpainting!
Fuck ya’ll… I’d buy it. As long as I get the girl, the easel, and the certificate of authenticity. I’d have to be on a cruise and drunk too.
So exactly WHO is going to tell Pooty that it isn’t worth 1.15 mil? He’d probably be buried next to the guy who stopped applauding for Stalin first.
HELLO PEOPLE THE WINDOWFRAME IS A GOLD SWASTIKA. It’s agitprop politart. Glasnost a window, muthafuckaz, Pootie’s trying to instigate a second Kristalnacht. GUESS WHO ELSE WAS A BAD ARTIST HUH HITLER OMFG!>!>!>!>!>
All the leaders of the World should paint more. Read more. Play more music. Do all kinds of artistic activities more.
And Barry should write another book.
I know I should hate him, but I just had to admit (on my blog, since I’m a coward and won’t say it in public) that I am utterly fascinated by this dude. Seriously, it’s like he WANTS to be the coolest villain of all time, and has adopted the most perfect character traits/habits/hobbies/girlfriend to make that possible. And yet he has yet to realize that he’s stuck in a post-Soviet Russia, so the James Bond movies probably won’t center around him. Plus, his character would never play. “Oh, right, a teenage-contortionist-banging-tiger-hunting-Judo-master-KGB villain with a crappy artistic soul? What’ll they come up with next? A BLACK POTUS???”
The word at the bottom is УЗОР (pronounced ‘oo-zor’) which is Russian for pattern or design. The painting represents the Putinification of art, which prevents all criticism and snuffs out all competing schools.
NoWireHangers: You made me larf.