Wonkette
The Corner has already declared Barack Obama’s presidency a horrific failure: “We are quite literally after two weeks teetering on an Obama implosion—and with no Dick Morris to bail him out—brought on by messianic delusions of grandeur, hubris, and a strange naivete that soaring rhetoric and a multiracial profile can add requisite cover to good old-fashioned Chicago politicking.” In other words… uh… dumb president.
Among the problems: nomination withdrawals (George Bush never had Linda Chavez, or Bernie Kerik, or Harriet Myers after all; nor did every other president always have a few problems); the stimulus on its way to passage; telling Muslim teevee that he cares about Muslims; apparently… keeping all of Bush’s war on terror executive orders? (basically, FISA — which is a mistake — plus an altered form of “renditions,” which will now allow for due process, and nothing else; Robert Gibbs sucking (true, but whatever); and Joe Biden making wacky and ultimately meaningless jokes.
THE RESULT:
At home, Obama is becoming laughable and laying the groundwork for the greatest conservative populist reaction since the Reagan Revolution. …This is quite serious. I can’t recall a similarly disastrous start in a half-century (far worse than Bill Clinton’s initial slips). Obama immediately must lower the hope-and-change rhetoric, ignore Reid/Pelosi, drop the therapy, and accept the tragic view that the world abroad is not misunderstood but quite dangerous.
Well we had thought things were going quite well, so far, but we guess not! Truly, it is embarrassing that the President and the majority party have had to negotiate with the minority party on a major bill, so as to produce the best bill possible. It’s almost as if this is exactly how our government should work!
(Also, guy at the Corner, do you get Presidential-level intelligence briefings every day? Well whatever you get, it must be better, since you understand just how dangerous the world is!)
The Impending Obama Meltdown [The Corner]
Down on the Corner, out in the street, where Barack & the Po’ Boys are playing, Socialism can’t be beat.
They may be wacky, but they’re lovable. Unlike the former unlovable-and-insane crew. I predict Beanie Babies of each cabinet member soon.
Dick Morris is one Giant-sized tube of Preparation H away from being another pockmark on America’s wrinkled anus.
TGY: Hobobeanie Babies, that is.
Let’s see…
Obama Report Card after Two Weeks on the Job: Incomplete
Economic shitstorm (caused by policies The Corner advocated.)
2 War quagmire (caused by policies The Corner advocated.)
Only 2 weeks on the job
Judged by same incompetent dipshits who believe W is the greatistest Preznit evah.
Well, that tears it: get ready for “the greatest conservative populist reaction since Reagan.” I’m shaking in terror that the ditto-heads, who started shouting “FAIL!” before he took office, will raise their 15 or 20,000 voices as one to say, “Waahh…nobody listens to us anymore! No fair!” Scary!
Look at what we’ve got already - between Daschle and Blagojevich, Obama’s administration is the most corrupt government in American history!
/puma
…a multiracial profile can add requisite cover to good old-fashioned Chicago politicking.
And “multiracial profile” translates as “half-breed Marxist atheist”, or did I misread the writers innuendo?
V572625694: And by the way, you dipshit Reaganistas: you got everything you wanted for eight years. Everything you touched turned to shit. What part of this failure is not self-evident to you?
Damn…that sounds like my cubemate wrote it!
I should check his computer. I hear these kind of rants almost every day.
Thank god only 7 more days left here!
I always wondered who bought Mann Coulter’s books.
I think for many bitters, Obama failed when he was born black.
First I voted for Gore, then I voted for Horseface, now Barack failed at being President. I can’t ever pick a winner!
Maybe if Barry stopped smoking weed with his Indonisian terrorist brother in Africa his approval ratings wouldn’t be in the toilet, his cabinet would be approved, the economy would be saved, and teh Muslins wouldn’t be bombing us all the time.
ANOTHER populist conservative reaction? Oh well, i’ll just oil and clean my clean my gun collection…AGAIN!
I’m actually with them on the whole “ignore Pelosi-Reid”, thing, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say that the vast majority of you feel the same way.
They are right…the last eight years have been a rousing success…if by success you mean that it’s a success when you get drunk and vomit all over yourself, thereby not making a mess of the new rug.
The angrier they are, the more we’re doing something right.
but Hopey did do one thing right by backing the Steelers in SB43…
V572625694: “If the conservatards screech, you must Impeach!”
It’s disgraceful how B. HUSSEIN OBAMA has utterly failed to make the rest of the world hate us more, expand our network of wars we can’t afford, further screw the dwindling middle class, and shred the Bill of Rights. It’s like he wants this country to succeed or something. THIS CAN NOT STAND.
Says someone from the party that is so desperate they are suing an incoherent fake Plummer as a political strategist. Sometimes I really hate the fact that I am sharing a planet with these fuckwits.
Um… did we go through a time slip that I wasn’t aware of? Last I checked, Obama has only had three weeks in office. A major shit-storm like this isn’t going to fix itself in 3 weeks.
Purple Tide: Dick Morris? Wasn’t the Repug douche that Clinton brought in during second term when his administration was drowning in slime of their own making and that of the bizarre right wingers?
As I recall, that was when liberals gave up on them. I mean, pond scum to spin your tale? Oops, could be taken as dirty jokes.
They are “literally” teetering on an implosion. Please send pictures.
Well, if the Corner says it, it must be true. Obama should resign in shame right away.
“and accept the tragic view that the world abroad is not misunderstood but quite dangerous”
While I don’t entirely disagree with the viewpoint that the world is a dangerous place, I’ve also traveled outside of the United States (not just Canada, Alaska, and Mexico, either!), which is more than can be said for anyone at The Corner.
Fear = The New Crack
Oh, wait, these are republicans…
Fear = The New 11-Year-Old-Boy Cock
Uh, is the basic concept here that the repubz are the biggest failures in the entire universe, so they are now authorities on the subject of failure?
Fake plumber?? But Joe’s real I swear. My daddy told me, just like Santa Claus and the tooth fairy and sincere politicians.
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/
LOLZ, awesome:
“Obama can mend bridges that America broke to aggrieved Muslims—apparently Tehran hostages, Rushdie, serial attacks in the 1990s, 9/11, Madrid, London never apparently occurred; and neither did feeding Somalis, saving Kuwait, protesting Chechnya, Bosnia/Kosovo, billions to Egypt, Jordan, the Palestinians, help in two Afghan wars, and on and on”
BTW, the Afghans called and they were in the middle of writing a thank you note for the help we provided in two Afghan wars, but then a bomb landed on their house and their arms were blown off. But they are super grateful for all that we have done, everywhere, ever.
V572625694: Like Midas in reverse. Everything they touch turns to shit.
SwamTheRiver: Wow. I didn’t even know Alanis Morisette ran for president. Maybe Kerry lost because she got all the angry pre-PUMA votes
V572625694: You’re not understanding the conservative mindset. If you’re doing something and it’s not working it’s because you’re not doing it hard enough. We already know the right ways to do everything the problem is a lack of commitment. Cut taxes more! Get into more wars! Deregulate everything!
SlouchingTowardsWasilla: teetering on an implosion will not put out the fires, it will only fuel them
I say Barry H should team up with that sexy repub Doogie Howser congress guy dude and sooth the Bitter’s souls.
Come back, Rush! All is forgiven!
well at least Barack Hossein O’Bama isn’t changing us into a scary Islamic republic, diametrically opposed to our Christian republic.
Dreamer: meant to say using. I must be really furious at the wingnut anticks.
The Corner’s evaluation of the Obama presidency as a failure has now eased my concerns about the past couple of days. Given their track record, I am now more confident that he’ll succeed.
The National Review site also advertises their exciting National Review Cruise in July. You’ll hear the wisdom of Karl Rove, John Bolton, Tony Blankley, Cal Thomas, Dick Morris, and Rich Lowry, to name but a few luminaries.
And it gets pretty dark at night there, in the wine-dark sea. And the decks could be pretty slippery if one had a few too many drinks and happened to not watch their steps.
So who’s willing to step up to the plate and serve the nation by going on this cruise and acting as a sort of helper? Sort of.
This is what happens when libtards blame one man for the last eight years of their lives. When the next guy comes, do you think its going to be any different from the other side?
If anything, Barry should stop listening to these asshats about the stimulus and be more like Bush (in terms of stubbornness, and maybe Waterboard THEIR side instead of the libtard side. Also.)
THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS.
DustBowlBlues: No that was David Gergen; Dick Morris was the one caught with hookers and cut loose by the Clintons, which he has never forgiven them for.
This is the same piece of shit blog that was claiming “Obama is toast” back in March, right?
GlennBecksFelch: The angrier they are, the more we’re doing something right.
Ding ding ding, we have a winner.
AnnieGetYourFun: I think anyone with two brain cells to rub together (thus, no one who listens to Rush) would agree that not just Obama, but *everyone* should ignore Reid and Pelosi.
Never back a republican into a corner, THAT’S fucking dangerous.
Reagan and Dubya. I think it’s telling that the neocons favorite presidents are senile old man and the smarmy retard.
facehead: Unless you’re black, in which case, you might be able to get a free $20 from said Republican.
Is The Corner still around? I thought it crumbled and blew away already.
@jagorev yep, this story completely varies depending on where you get your news.
OK - anywant want to forget about the economic doldrums - think for 15 seconds of Dick Morris naked - see free Denny’s and food stamps aint so bad…
INTERESTING RESEARCH:
I google news searched “Obama Fail”
http://news.google.com/news?hl=en&q=obama%20fail&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wn
Not one article about Obama doing badly…. hmmmm.
National Review= Fail.
how did VDH even graduate let alone get a job?
Purple Tide: DustBowlBlues: There’s nothing the conservatards would like more than to see someone like Morris do to Obama what “Dick” Morris did to Clinton. Dick “Dick” Morris’s voice makes decent peoples’ skin crawl. His I-know-secret-stuff-I-could-but-won’t-tell-you demeanor is irritating and condescending. His clothes suck. His forehead makes you wish he had Blagojevitch’s hair. Bill Clinton’s decline into the morass of impeachment began when he invited this foot-fetishist into the inner circle to spread his “doctrine” of “triangulation.”
Jim: They doesn’tget a briefing on National Security every morning, which says more about the abilities of that inadequate black male than it does about The Corner.
Are wingnuts even trying anymore? John Oliver was more convincing in his Obama’s Smug Little Bubble sketch on the Daily Show last week.
DustBowlBlues: Excuse me, but I have never touched your tail.
choom gangster: If you’re doing something and it’s not working it’s because you’re not doing it hard enough.
This explains the terrible sex I’ve had with Republicans.
If Obama actually *learns* anything from the mistakes made in these first few weeks, he will have outstripped W’s presidency.
El Pinche: It can not be blown away because it is incubating beneath K-Lo’s flacid lumpy ass.
Jezuz Fucking Christ. This douchebag is a senior fellow at Stanford University’s Hoover Institution. I kid you not. I can’t get a job and a retard who is “quite literally” teetering on an implosion is masquerading as a respected intellectual. Maybe I should start writing incoherent rants for fun and profit.
The Crooner. Dishing out torch songs and sappy chicken soup for the wingnut soul since, er, whenever.
Are these the same folks who were telling us to be patient after only four years in Iraq?
Assuming that the writers of The Corner believe themselves to be journalists, praps they should do a little due dilligance and tell us the last time a prez had unqualified success with all their cabinet appointees. Losing one or two in flaming tax related nanny scandals is the American Way, for crissake.
“Abroad, some really creepy people are lining up to test Obama’s world view of “Bush did it/but I am the world”: The North Koreans are readying their missiles; the Iranians are calling us passive, bragging on nukes and satellites; Russia is declaring missile defense is over and the Euros in real need of iffy Russian gas; Pakistanis say no more drone attacks (and then our friends the Indians say “shut up” about Kashmir and the Euros order no more “buy American”).”
Not only does the first sentence not make any sense, grammatical or otherwise, but the remainder of the paragraph details a list of things that: A) started and are continuing from the Bush administration, and B) were caused, exacerbated, or ignored by the Bush administration. It is a shame that the “Buy American” campaign is failing in Europe–where is their sense of patriotism?
2 weeks and the verdict is in. how long had bush been president when 9-11 happened?
shortsshortsshorts: Yes.
This Wonkette article is laughable and will soon implode, no doubt resulting in a resurgence of my own popularity, because I am awesome, and the rest of the world will soon see it as well. You’re welcome.
Which is why I voted for Hillary in the first place.
She knew Obama did not see this s**t coming.
It was SO plain as day.
V572625694: The one thing “Dick” Morris had that I somewhat envy is some sack time with Sherry Rowlands, although he (a) paid for it, and (b) probably spent it just licking her shoes.
Well, give a kick! The Corner sure made me think otherwise! Now I will have to get my passport out of hock!
If we impeach him now we will all be able to forget about this whole “INCIDENT” and we can just call Alan Keyes the first black president.
It’s only three weeks and NRO is printing shit like this? In order to keep their “readers” around they’ll need to ratchet up the hate speech a little more each slimy article. At the end of 4 years they’ll just be printing random symbols, exclamations and slobbery drool all in capitol letters. I’m not sure how to print drool but where there’s a will…
4tehlulz: Out of all the sleazy things the Clintons were accused of, associating with this turd Dick Morris is the worst in my mind. Since his high-flying days of being a prostitute-toe-sucking Presidential henchman, he’s been a pathetic afterthought of a wanna-be Billo-Rialy in the largely unseen back-pages of “News”Max.com. For a desperate power-parasite like him, this must seem like having one foot in Hell…
Yikes, any day now this evil Muslin will start burning down America’s great Christian cathedrals!
Wait a second, there’s something on the news . . .
SlouchingTowardsWasilla: Dude - how do you think Rush & Hannity & Beck & O’Reilly et al make their millions? There is HUGE money in defending the wealthy.
Not a suprising missive from a bunch of people who actually believe that they can create their own reality.
Ha ha! What a fun read. Every time a douchey republican’s blood pressure spikes in Barry-induced outrage, I get all warm and tingly.
when obama was hot, i was getting laid from obama girls i met at the bar. now that obama has failed, i has crabs.
fuckbama. where’s my new bike?! where’s my money handout?! and where’s the honkey prison camps??!1
Lotta Monday morning quarterbacking going on here. Me, my gut sez kick ‘em inna nuts, the traditional and reliable way to begin potentially drawn-out and tiresome negotiating. Gets their attention, see?
However. There’s also the bit from the Ancient Asian Mao Zedong–Lao Tzu–Ho Chi Minh Art Of Wily and Treacherous Yellow Peril Strategy (sometimes known as the “Mao-Lao-Ho-Wow” tactic), where you give up ground, shoot at them from behind trees, lure them into swamps and stuff, and THEN bring down the hammer, do the kick in their nuts, thrust flaming bamboo up their nostrils, otherwise flout the Geneva Conventions, etc. Leave them writhing on the ground, begging for a quick and merciful end.
Could this be what our Hopy is up to? Maybe he might have picked it up from the implacable Muslins in Indonesia. Also.
Per my previous…completely different coverage depending on the outlet. Check it - http://www.newsy.com/videos/i_screwed_up_media_response (The feed nerds seem to be sorta stuck on “shine” como Kanye). This is different than people crying “liberal bias” in the MSM; this is niche messaging to compete. Angles are one thing, agendas another.
Dick Morris? not the prostitute toe sucker? this guy couldn’t bail out himself from Fox news.
I want out. I don’t want to live in the same country as these people any more.
At home, Obama is becoming laughable and laying the groundwork for the greatest conservative populist reaction since the Reagan Revolution.
OF WHOM? All the Republicans I know QUIT THEIR PARTY AND HATES EVERYONE. Unless they think the libertarians are going to take over, which uh, sure, my party will get right on that. Haha. When we put down the weed and colloidal silver. We could run under the ‘get the hell off my lawn you scum’ banner with lots of pictures of Clint Eastwood from Gran Torino. That would be cool.
Six, Biden is being Biden. Already, he’s ridiculed the chief justice, trashed the former VP, bragged on himself ad nauseam in Bidenesque weird ways, and it’s only been two weeks.
I haven’t heard any demon comparisons yet, so I’m good. Really.
SlouchingTowardsWasilla: He only means that the binary neutron stars located directly beneath the White House are beginning to collapse into a stellar-mass black hole.
And that that’s all Obama’s fault.
But more seriously… what, uh, in three weeks, the first three weeks at about the hardest job that I can think of, what should Obama & Friends be doing to appease these cruel, myopic “intellects”?
&, also: where can I get a subscription to Bizzarro-CNN, where Larry King, Wolf Blitzer and Anderson Cooper all have goatees and Christiane Amanpour wears a bikini made of kitten skin and evil?
‘Cuz I’d totally watch that.
yes, of course they are right. I will just go home and sit in “the corner” for the next four years.
Typo in NRO copy: “abroad is not misunderstood but quite dangerous”
They meant to say “a broad is not….”
Which makes sense. If they want to have sex with underage boys (which it seems they do) then women must scare the hell out of them
Anyone remember Bush’s first few months? The A6 President is what they called him, cause he couldn’t make the front page to save his life. This is going swimmingly by comparison.
I would snark on this but I have a feeling all those Blue Dog Democrats like Ben Nelson and Mary Landrieu read the Corner and quake in their boots over what they read. “Oh noes, Jonah Goldberg called me a commie for supporting more money for Head Start and Pell Grants. Whatever will I do?”
Where’s your Dick Morris NOW?!?
NRO, the Not Recognized Organization? I thought that was that satellite shop in NoVa.
Obama will be fine, as you can tell all those young, college slackers he ‘called to service’ are just, well, slacking still.
He’ll be a fine/typical president, just that his campaigning promises may bite him back hard. Partee like it’s 1999!
recharged95: o, let’s hope it doesn’t go that way. Though I’m nobody to talk. I’m sitting here in my underwear now watching Lost.
Which, uh.
Saves the rainforest.
Or the 3D glasses industry. Whatever.
I can’t think of anything more encouraging for the Obama administration than a vote of “no-confidence” from The Corner (a/k/a America’s Stupidest Blog Tricks).
I mean, sure, the stopped clock is right twice a day, but their clock isn’t just stopped, it has dingbats or something on it instead of numbers. So unless it’s squiggle-thirty, all bets are off.
Yes it really is too bad that Obama is holding a gun to the head of every Republican in Congress and forcing them to be obstinant fuck-holes.
chascates: Hypothetically speaking, of course, if I were to go on the cruise and replace all of the complimentary butsects lube with, say, FDA approved peanut butter….
SlouchingTowardsWasilla: the hoover institution is where one learns to suck like a vacuum cleaner, right?
I just put him on my “Wall of Shame” ….
I gave him my vote… what a waste!!!!
I already feel like I’m missing something here …
Can we start over again ???
WHERE IS MAH PONY??!!
I love the term “abroad.” I wonder if they realize they re-discovered a calque from the much-beloved Russian term from the Soviet era, “zagranitza” - i.e., “everything beyond the USSR border”?
Obama’s bank bailout trial balloons are rancid piles of shit that could have come from the Accomplished One himself. He hasn’t failed yet, but he’s failing, make no mistake. He’s steering the economy into a ditch, but at least it’s a bipartisan ditch.
Cape Clod: “their own reality,” which the asshats cobbled together from conservative facts they gleaned from reading conservapedia. also.
AxmxZ: In Soviet Russia, you fail administration.
I knowed this was a gonna happen! We’re already up to our necks in this gol-derned Husain O’bama mess, and now we’re gonna hafta shoot urban people to keep em away from our food, women, and noble heritage! But I ain’t worried for me and mine. I stocked up my cave just as soon as that half-breed Muslin stole away the election from that chicken-flappin’ fella and the purty woman.
Victor Davis Hanson is quite literally a bag of shit.
SlouchingTowardsWasilla: As life-long Bay Area resident and godless holder of San Francisco Values I feel it’s my duty to inform the world that Stanford is 95% a babysitting facility for the semi-retarded children of rich folks who don’t like the East Coast and 5% smart people.
choom gangster: 6% once Condi comes back!!!!!!!!11111
SlouchingTowardsWasilla: in the mighty phalanx of world-class waggery that is Wonkette, your moniker is by far the waggiest..
“Big” Dick didn’t waste a second, did he? The Krauts were so fortunate that their Martin Bormann caught a Katyushka round in the chest the very night he fled the scene of his crimes.
As Winston Churchill put it so presciently,”You can always count on Americans to do the Right Thing - after they’ve tried everything else.”
NewAlgier: If by “steering the economy into a ditch” you mean he’s “sitting behind the wheel of a heap of junk with 4 flat tires, shot brakes and no gas that its previous owner has run off the road into quicksand and ditched for Obama to tow out without a towing truck,” then yes, yes he is.
Was the article written by Limbaugh (the head of the Repub party) or was it his ghost writer??