Wonkette
Snarling cocksack Dick Cheney was finally wheeled into a pool of sharks, right? Nah, he’s still around, still threatening America. Right-wing propaganda outlet The Politico caught up with the monster at the offices they share in Virginia, and Cheney promised that somehow, even removed from his terror lair beneath the Naval Observatory, he will nuke America. He will kill you.
Former Vice President Dick Cheney warned that there is a “high probability” that terrorists will attempt a catastrophic nuclear or biological attack in coming years, and said he fears the Obama administration’s policies will make it more likely the attempt will succeed.
In an interview Tuesday with Politico, Cheney unyieldingly defended the Bush administration’s support for the Guantanamo Bay prison and coercive interrogation of terrorism suspects.
“When we get people who are more concerned about reading the rights to an al Qaeda terrorist than they are with protecting the United States against people who are absolutely committed to do anything they can to kill Americans, then I worry,” Cheney said.
Cute.
Also, Cheney got himself a “Kindle,” the new beige Amazon book-readin’ device that wirelessly connects to Amazon. Sure hope that doesn’t have some kind of negative effect on his pacemaker!
Cheney Warns of New Attacks [CBS version of Politico story]
WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!
Tell Uncle Dick the CEOs of financial firms (aka ‘The Enema Within’) seem more dangerous at the moment.
Is there some way we can impeach Barry and get this patriot back?
They don’t call him “Dick” for nothing.
What?! Terrorists attack a country whose leader is a fellow Muslin? I think not…
Dick would blow us all to hell just to prove a point, that being, they kept us SAFE!!11
I heard that he went to court to get his first name changed. The judge thought “Fuckface” was less appropriate…
The TEETH have been replaced by glass walls. Now they are all looking at me. Stop looking at me. Yes, you, I see you looking at me. Stop it.
Dick Cheney needs about a dozen rounds of ECT to reboot his brain, oh, that might effect his pacemaker. Also.
Perfect response by the admin:
“Not on our God-damned watch, maybe on yours.”
And then they could circle Gibbs and shout in unison:
“I’m sick and tired of these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane.”
That would be AWESOME and stuff.
Cheney is really hoping for some gawd awful terroristical thing to happen to the USA just he can be right. Shut up Dick or hurry up and die.
Norbert: hopefully, Dick will be in a bunker and survive the nuclear attack, so we still have Dick to lead real Americans.
Ken, David Denby would not approve of your ladysnark about the pacemaker, as the former vice-President is infirmed!
You take it back!
freakishlystrong: Such a win. So fucking true.
I feel so much safer when Big Daddy Dick Cheese is worried about stuff. Seriously, who the hell cares what this evil loser thinks, and why is he being interviewed? Unless he’s being comically pushed around in a wheelchair, I have no interest in anything he says or does. I mean it. Get him the hell out of here.
A Kindle? Aren’t the selections available for that pretty much limited to James Patterson, The Da Vinci Code, and books by Jonah Goldberg?
Larry Fine: Cheney in Bunker: “and ze vomen vill have to be chosen for zeir sexual characteristics vich vill have to be of a highly schtimulating nature… “
Norbert: Also,
“The United States needs to be not so much loved as it needs to be respected. Sometimes, that requires us to take actions that generate controversy. I’m not at all sure that that’s what the Obama adminstration believes.” (Dick)
Yes, let’s impeach the imposter Obama and restore our Master Dick… Ciuz in the long run, we low-lifes are only pieces of merchandise to be bought, sold, rented, and used, like slavegirls and slaveboys. Master Dick, we’re not worthy! Take away our rights! Enslave us!
Monsieur Grumpe: Sadly: word.
(with apologies to William Butler Yeats):
The Dark Lord drops again; but now I know
That 8 years of stony glares
Were vexed to nightmare by Obama’s rise,
And what tough Dick, his hour come round at last,
Slouches towards irrelevance, to be aborted?
He oughtta download the ol’ Constitution of the U. S. of fuckin A. to that thing, amiright?
The next time I see Dick Cheney, I am 88.9% sure that his wheelchair will be embedded in the husk of an ED-209 law-enforcement unit. HE WILL STORM THE BLACK HOUSE TAKE THE CUNTREY BACK FROM BLACK COCK NOBAMA!!1!!!1
Thank God Dick is still on the job protecting America from our enemies, the man is telling the truth you bong-addled libtards don’t want to hear. And watch that snarky tone about Cheney’s health, that chancre Denby will be all up in your shit! Oh, wait, it’s only abuse of LEFTYS that gets Mr. Denby worked up…
Careful with that terror talk, Dick. Are you with us or against us? There’s a new sheriff in town, and you’re talkin’ like an enemy combatant.
[quote]
If Cheney’s language was dramatic, the setting for the comments was almost bizarrely pedestrian. His office is in a non-descript suburban office building in McLean, in a suite that could just as easily house a dental clinic. The office is across the hall from a quick-copy store. The door is marked by nothing except a paper sign, held up by tape, saying the unit is occupied by the General Services Administration.
[/quote]
I would like to know where Cheney’s new office is so I can take a picture of the paper sign. I think Jon Stewart could use it in a skit this week.
The United States needs to be not so much loved as it needs to be respected.
…and we all know the world will never respect us unless they fear us - or do I repeat myself.
WIDTAP: “When introducing myself to someone I find it very helpful to punch them in the face” is WINNING logic along the same lines. Also.
Thankfully Dick Cheney has a “high probability” for a massive coronary and it will “make it more likely” that we no longer have to hear from this fear-mongering shitstain in the future.
MadFlava: dental clinic, eh…… is it SAFE?!!
Tell Me I’m Wrong!
I want to punch Dick in the face and the junk, repeatedly. That’s all.
Norbert: http://www.lazydork.com/movies/marathonman.htm
Holy Schitt, Cheney ist der Weissangel!
“snarling cocksack”
Coffee flew out my nose and I damned near choked to death. But for the most accurate two-word description of a person ever, it was worth it.
If there’s a terrorist attack on the country, of course it’ll be Obama’s fault because he’s spent the first part of his administration completely ignoring terrorism while focusing on things like how to start a war with Iraq and/or China and the reading of children’s books.
Oh…wait… wrong administration.
The entire Cheney foreign policy: Son, we live in a world that has walls and those walls need to be guarded by men with guns. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Lieutenant Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and curse the Marines; you have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Santiago’s death, while tragic, probably saved lives and that my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use then as the backbone of a life trying to defend something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said “thank you,” and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest that you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to.
MadFlava: I bet it’s a toilet paper sign. Nothing for the best for ole Dickey boy.
Harvey Birdman: Yes, except he avoided any and all military duty throughout his young adult years and is now just an old fraud pussy.
He’s no Jessup.
To republicans, fear is like a cuddly teddy bear. They can’t go to bed without it.
Is that a photo of his robotic junk? Geez that looks like a fun time. ALTTXTPLZ -
The location of Cheney’s offices is represented by the blur on MapQuest.
Harvey Birdman: Q. Sonny, is it better to be loved…or feared? A. That’s very hard. Naturally, you would like to be both. But if I could only be one, I would rather be feared. You see how it is around here: I tell a joke, everybody laughs. I’m funny, but I’m not that funny. It’s fear that keeps them loyal.
Now we can see this for what it is. Aiming death rays at our fair country, Cheney has emerged from his lair. Time to send our loved ones to safety and break out the lead jockstraps.
These are dire times. Parlous also.
C’mon Barry. Time to put on the blue tights and red cape, get the fuck out of that phone booth.
Norbert: WIN!
Norbert: For the betterment of mankind and our precious boldily fluids.
Dick’s Kindle list: ALL SIX DARCY NOVELS! and also all Jane Austin, also. Oh, and Dr. Strangelove, also. too. also.
He has nothing to sell but fear itself.
Barry still has time. The Death Star is only half-finished, and we can see where it is now thanks to the Google-gods.
Norbert: shit. that’s bodily fluids
Right on, Dick! I mean if we’re going to worry about silly shit like the Constitution or the Geneva Conventions instead of blowing away/incarcerating indefinitely all the bad (read: brown) people, then we deserve what we get.
What’s most disturbing about this is that for every Cheney you see, there are probably a thousand you don’t see, crawling around under the cabinets and behind the walls.
One Yield Regular: I think the list specializes in international espionage fiction featuring right-wing imperialist heroes. If you read nothing but that, you’d be paranoid and delusional, too. And what do you wanna bet didn’t pay for the Kindle? Dick.
Aw, I was kind of hoping that after he left office, Cheney would retreat to his evil lair in the base of a volcano and never be seen again.
Bush seems good at staying away, at least.
Hooray For Anything:
WIN!
That and the fact the the 9/11 attacks were anywhere from 4-9 years for the planning, financing, training and implementation (even the soft-core 9/11 Commision said 2-5 years). That would mean that even if Dick’s attack occurred in Barry’s 2nd Administration, the Bushies are responsible and did NOT keep us safe…no?
I know what you mean, “Dick”. When republicans are running amok, torturing, and spying on Americans, that’s when I worry.
Cheney can only be eliminated in one way. Someone needs to import truckloads of Transylvanian peasants and equip them with torches, pitchforks and (for the bravest among them) a stake to drive through Dick’s heart.
On second thoughts, arm them all with stakes. Then, if at any stage the authorities question what is happening, the organisors of the project could just say that they were “consulting with stakeholders”.
There’s enough flatulence in Dick Cheney to power a municipal bus for at least three months tapping the gas the comes out from either end of him. Add to that his head is so far up his ass that he can act as his own supercharging system were on to tap his ass with a fuel intake line. Take him to new Orleans and get him a job as a fuel cell on the Freret Jet down in New Orleans. Let him serve the people he didn’t serve so well. Or hell - just light a match and watch him blow up where he stands. Wear nomex and a self contained breathing device. Forego the marshmallows. That guy is completely toxic!
Everything everybody is saying here is true. But the Kindle is white not beige.
Why doesn’t he join the army already then? oh yeah, he’s an old fuck, a fraud, a oil-magnate, arms-dealer and stands to lose too much. You know, bathing in gold coins and what not. I wish, truly that he would just die already then ALL the dirt would come out.
You know, i almost think i’d rather be nuked than further fucked over by that nutsac.
One Yield Regular: I’d like to have a kIndle. Except I’m old and pee a lot, so you can guess where I do most of my reading. Dropping a magazine in the water is bad enough–an electronic device?
BTW–Why are we even being subjected to Cheney’s paranoid-schizophrenic rants? O’Bama’s the president, right? Can’t he deputize Joey B (who would totally do it) to go padlock the fucking bunker?
Makes you want to line up, stick thumbs in your ears, waggle fingers and singsong, “neener-neener-neener We won the election.”
If you keep on poking fun at Cheney’s leer, there’s always the chance that, you know, “we could get hit again”, so, stop it everybody.
One Yield Regular: I have a Kindle, and I love love love love it. 12:00 Read book review. 12:05 Decide the book sounds good 12:06 Be reading the book. It’s a delicious luxury.
If you or I yelled fire in a theater, they would cuff us and haul us off. This lunatic is a terrorist, again yelling nuke, creating fear and needs to be put away…
What else would expect from the world’s most infamous Dick?
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/
so Dick can walk across the street to the CIA and tell us he “told us so”. http://wonkette.com/363302/cheneys-new-house-is-cia-adjacent
This guy believes his own lies and with constant ranting over intelligence that others like Rice and Gates have seen also. They both agree to close Gitmo, but Cheney reads into his own fabricated intelligence. This guy will go into history as a wacko war mongering ass, cashing in on his company interest and laughing all the way to the bank for his wealth and his families. We should water board his entire family since it isn’t torturing in his mind and find out what they know about the old codger….This guy has been wrong on nukes and WMD and Hussein with relationship with Al-Qaida and we should believe him now…Dr Strangelove and Dr. Doom with smear and fear… Jail the loony tune…
This guy believes his own lies and with constant ranting over intelligence that others like Rice and Gates have seen also. They both agree to close Gitmo, but Cheney reads into his own fabricated intelligence. This guy will go into history as a wacko war mongering ass, cashing in on his company interest and laughing all the way to the bank for his wealth and his families. We should water board his entire family since it isn’t torturing in his mind and find out what they know about the old codger….This guy has been wrong on nukes and WMD and Hussein with relationship with Al-Qaida and we should believe him now…Dr Strangelove and Dr. Doom with smear and fear… Jail the loony tune….
MadFlava: A dental clinic? Like in Little Shop of Horrors?
Hasn’t Cheney been hanged yet?
he just won’t shut up. looks like i’m gonna have to choke a bitch.
Wasn’t Joe Biden roundly ridiculed by the right-wing press for saying that Obama would be “tested”, possibly in the form of an attack by terrorists? I suppose it’s okay to fear-monger to a much greater degree if you’re not in power any more.
Numbat Dundee: I say arm the Transylvanian peasants with steaks. I’m sure Dickie cannot resist a good steak and it will only take a few of them to do in that teetering ticker of his.
“Sure hope that doesn’t have some kind of negative effect on his pacemaker!”
Actually, I sure hope the Kindle sort of kindles a short circuit in his pacer, thus ending our misery.
blow up america…again, you mean. And again and again and again, for ever, and ever, and ever.
He’s this century’s prophet - Nostrilled-Anus.
I came across one of his quatrains:
“From a cloud of buckshot
arose the evil hunter
and slayeth the mass
of non-believers.”
Y’all better watch him…
Here is the guy that was to find a VP for George Bush and finds himself, bringing in his agents, Rummy, Wolfawitz, Scooter and Halliburton. Many of his acquaintances have claimed the man is deranged, unhinged and no longer the same person they had known.
It is time for America to heal, to grow and prepare for hard times to come. If we continue to allow McCarthyism, the primary targets of such suspicions were government employees, those in the entertainment industry, educators and union activists these partisan minded doom and gloom obstructionist and undermining elected and past officials continue to interfere; we will never heal, grow and move forward.
Secessionist such as Limbaugh, Crystal and Hannity and others like them that want the US to fail with those administrations of opposition are secessionist, worst traitors against the country in creating lies, fear and anger preventing growth and unity for the people.
Laws need to be written and instituted against those that preach known provable lies, propaganda and proven false statements. The airways of information belong to the people and communism is spread by lies and organizations and people of hate. I truly believe in freedom of speech and press but not if they are twisted and spun or out of context or parsed for their own destruction of the truth… Either be responsible for using the airways and information highway or be removed, licenses revoked and persons and organizations be fined, that is the right thing to do…….
Check this out guys…
http://www.the-latest.com/new-ways-of-resisting-obamania-by-right-wingers
Dr. Strangelove forgets that he and Bush allowed Bin Laden to successfully attack us in the first place. Head down to Ground Zero, Dick, and shout out, “We ignored all the warning signs!”
Then shut up and die.
Bin Laden, think WYOMING for your next ter’rist attack.