Just nine and a half months ago, everybody loved David Paterson for being everything that Eliot Spitzer was not. Instead of a terse, sanctimonious Captain America who kept his socks on when he furtively humped hookers, Paterson was an affable, self-deprecating, pleasant gentleman who managed to persuade a woman who was not his wife to have sex with him for free. Also he was sort of America’s first blind governor, which was cute.
But now the TABLES HAVE TURNED, and after nearly a year everybody is sick of him. He completely messed up the whole “Who will replace Hillary?” process by jawing on the radio and TV about how undecided he was, for weeks, instead of just quickly and quietly appointing somebody, anybody. Hell, the governor of Colorado picked some literal nobody to replace the senator he lost to Obama’s cabinet! David Paterson could have just pointed at a random unemployed Lehman Brothers trader and the great citizens of New York would have said, “Meh, sounds good.” But instead he had to jerk around poor Caroline Kennedy, and then after she was passed over, his staffers totally trashed her in the press, which is really not a very courteous way to thank somebody for letting you fuck them up the ass.
That brings us to the conclusion of this story, which is that one Democrat, in referring to Paterson’s gubernatorial tenure, says, “the words ‘shit show’ are being thrown around a lot.”
DANG.
David Paterson Needs a Friend, Fast [Politicker NY]







{ 39 comments }
At least he didn’t fuck some money-grubbing tramp in calf-length black socks.
AT LEAST HE DIDN’T DO THAT!!1!
Jeez it’s like the blind leading the blonde up there.
He looks blinder in the wedding picture. Matrimony has made him see the light. Or something.
Anyway, why’s that picture (which I love) have the Gov. in a track suit?
[re=235722]magic titty[/re]: You say that like it’s a bad thing. Everyone knows that tramps do their best work in their calf-length black socks.
“Politically, the governor seems to have gone out of his way a number of times to stick his finger in the eye of the people in the Legislature who want to support him and who want him to succeed.”
And this is why Andrew Cuomo is having the BEST WEEK EVER!
which is really not a very courteous way to thank somebody for letting you fuck them up the ass
Yeah, the standard thank you gift for the occasion is traditionally a box of chocolates and tube of benzocaine
[re=235727]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Hey, he’s blind. He just wants his legislative supporters to not see what he is not seeing.
[re=235727]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Oh sure, they want to support him and want him to succeed as long as neither of those things requires them to reform the incredibly fucked up way Albany does business or make any hard choices to balance our incredibly fucked up budget. Other than that, sure, they’ve totally got his back.
Oh, I dunno if I hate him. I really liked his portrayal as the fifth Doctor.
Letting New York look less competant than Colorado, Delaware and Minnestota is not good for your re-election resume.
[re=235722]magic titty[/re]: That tramp was helping the former governor research the very crimes he was out to prevent. Research people, research.
…”which is really not a very courteous way to thank somebody for letting you fuck them up the ass.”
Geez, give the blind guy a break! Even us men who can see sometimes stick it in the wrong hole!
“Wanna be senator?”
“Would I!”
“You can forget about being senator, pizza face!”
Meh, I have often used the old, “I am blind, but I see with my fingers” line on the ladies.
I don’t believe I have attended one of these Shit Shows. Is it anything like a Vanilla Ice concert?
[re=235736]Cape Clod[/re]: Honestly, I think the only people with their panties in a wad about the Senate selection thing are politicians and possibly newspaper editorialists. The NY’ers I know are fine with the fact that he took his time. Yeah, the trash talking of Caroline was dumb, but she acted like an entitled twit, so I’d say that score is even.
The Kennedys plan to replace Patterson’s seeing eye dog with a python … or Andy Cuomo. Whatever works.
But doesn’t everyone hump hookers with their socks on? At least, that’s what all the porn movies tell me. And Dan Savage. I’m so confused.
[re=235734]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: If that’s a 4-out-of-5-doctors joke, I don’t get it.
Why does he just keep staring off into space all the time?
I’m not saying that Paterson handled it in the best way possible, but he got punked. He said early on he wanted to appoint an upstate woman. Both politically and in terms of fairness appointing an upstater was a good idea. Then Caroline’s posse comes in waiting for a coronation. Paterson didn’t blow the press conferences by not being prepared, she did. Plus all the pesky Kennedy relatives including the ex-wife of Andy-boy Cuomo added to the side-show dynasty aspect. I happen to think Kennedy would be a good senator, maybe better than the NRA endorsed sweetie he picked, but she didn’t come across well and that’s not the gov’s fault.
[re=235736]Cape Clod[/re]: …and now we need to add NH to the list.
Paterson is not to worry though; it’s NY and it’s politics and the “shit show” can change overnight to a…hmmm…OK, “clusterfuck”.
“one Democrat, in referring to Paterson’s gubernatorial tenure, says, “the words ’shit show’ are being thrown around a lot.”
Really, this is just a roundabout way of saying that this story has been discussed in Canada a lot.
New York really IS the most Jewish state; Spitzer was a criminal for paying too much, but Paterson was okay because he got it for free. So far he’s pissed off the Italians and Irish, so I hope David’s buying bonds for Israel.
Shit show? Is that some sort of fecal fetish? Whatever floats your boat.
Okay, now I’m just sayin’….how did he know that woman wasn’t his wife?…Blind, y’know…Hell, it’s happened to me dozens of times…usually, I just get up, realize I’m in the wrong house, and leave…but maybe being drunk isn’t the same as blind you say….why do they call it “blind drunk” then…?
[re=235814]labdork[/re]: Under the new administration rules, NEA now has a grant category for “shit show.”
[re=235734]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: I don’t think anyone here is both British and old enough to get that reference.
Couldn’t he find a liberal to appoint who wasn’t Andrew Cuomo?
Is the blonde mommy-lady going to be liberal, once she hits the big time? Please tell me she’s pro-choice and doesn’t hate the gays. I keep thinking that hey, she would be liberal, but she couldn’t get redneck votes if she were.
A pick like Gilly, or whatever her name is, would make more sense in Oklahoma, where people are so stupid they are frequently heard to post the question, “Is this shit, or is this Shinola?”
But New York isn’t supposed to get away with being that stupid, so I’m hoping this is a secret, brilliant plan for Democratic domination of the world. With or without your socks on.
[re=235814]labdork[/re]: No, but perhaps a ‘shit show’ is the equivalent of a ‘fecal feature’.
And it’s only a case of the blind leading the blonde.
[re=235938]DustBowlBlues[/re]: She is pro-choice, and now says she is pro-gay marriage. She comes from a hunting family in a hunting place, so she loves guns, but has quickly acknowledged that urban areas have different needs when it comes to gun laws than North BFE, NY. Pay no attention to the shrieks of litmus test liberals. Gilly is fine, as politicians go.
[re=235979]CorkPopper[/re]: Then you better tell her not to come to Oklahoma. Our wingers are really nut cases down here and there’s more of them than us.
I was afraid that, being blind and all, Paterson might have accidentally wandered off the reservation.
Ouch–that was the meanest thing I ever said. I hope Jesus isn’t listening.
He should have parachuted himself in there.
Shit show is overused. Blago coined that phrase first.
To bad hes blind as a bat to notice the HOT 40something chick next to him.
[re=235791]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: yeah, who are you talking about, bunny?
*dung-a-dung-dung, dung-a-dung-dung, dung-a-dung-dung, dung-a-dung-dung, dung-a-dung-dung, whooo-oo, weeee-oo, whoo-oo-oo, woo-oo, woo-ooo*
D’oh. The first blind governor turned out to be a bit bumbling….man, that’d be kinda like the first gay mayor of major city turning out to have had sex with an underage intern named, like, oh I don’t know, Joe Reedlove, or something…
[re=235768]CorkPopper[/re]: You can’t just run around calling Caroline an entitled twit–that honor is reserved for Andrew “My Daddy was Governor” Cuomo, the sanctimonious jackass.
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